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Thread: Have any of you ever seen a MALE THERAPIST about CDing?

  1. #1
    Gold Member Alice Torn's Avatar
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    Have any of you ever seen a MALE THERAPIST about CDing?

    I see that many, including me, have seen female therapists. have any ever talked to a man therapist concerning CDing or marriage issues with Cding?

  2. #2
    🙊🙈🙉 Patience's Avatar
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    Why should the therapist's gender be a factor?
    When haters hate, I celebrate!

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    Gold Member Alice Torn's Avatar
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    I will say, that for me, I would be a lot more cautious and nervous. I have seen a female therapist, but, there is a gut feeling, about seeing a guy, for some reason. When out dressed up, i always have been a bit more nervous around men, than GGs. Maybe it is because many men have a different and threatened reaction to a guy dressed as a woman. I have only told two men that i dress.

  4. #4
    Gold Member Alice Torn's Avatar
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    I am going to a new therapist at the VA next week, another woman. Part of me thinks i need to see a male therapist. It would help me to overcome my fear of men knowing about my Alice side. Thanks Kim for sharing.

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    I would say Patience is right as long as they are versed in gender therapy.

    The only therapist I ever spoke with about my crossdressing was a GM my parents sent me to when I was a very confused teenager. From them I learned what a fetish was and I latched onto that explanation. Even as young as I was, I could sense that being a "weirdo" was somehow more acceptable than being transgender.

    It's just a fetish... That became my big lie... To myself most of all.

  6. #6
    Gold Member Alice Torn's Avatar
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    I see not many of you are posting. That makes me think that very few have seen a male therapist.

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    quantumbitch Mariabella's Avatar
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    I would never unpack my bags to any man. Too many helped pack them in the first place that I would NEVER trust some male with my mind and emotions.

  8. #8
    Yendis Sidney's Avatar
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    Interesting question. Ive only seen two counselors. One male who I saw after my divorce from my first wife 30 years ago. Nothing CD related, felt comfortable with him and bared my soul to him.

    The second, female, I started seeing three or so years ago for CD issues and again felt comfortable and told ALL.

    After reading this post and it started me thinking. I feel very comfortable talking about anything and everything no matter what it is. Im not sure I would have been comfortable talking to my first male counselor about my Sidney side and my female feelings.

    Of course I dont have any close male friends and have always found it easier to talk to females.

  9. #9
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    Alice ,
    My first therapist was male but that was over twenty years ago and thinking has moved on , he was expensive but also crap at his job !!

    My last therapists were both female but it shouldn't make any difference if they can perform their job well , perhaps I do open up more to women .

  10. #10
    Gold Member Alice Torn's Avatar
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    I find it much easier to open up to women. I was not close to my father, and it was war between us. I was much closer to my mother, and that is one reason. Also, i was abused by boys and men.

  11. #11
    Platinum Member Crissy 107's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Patience View Post
    Why should the therapist's gender be a factor?
    To me if I were to see a therapist I would definitely prefer a woman, I just feel she would be easier to talk with.
    Crissy

  12. #12
    Junior Member Meeshell's Avatar
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    Hi Alice,
    The only therapist I've ever seen was a male. It was this year. I am closeted, per say,and I don't particularly desire to be out to family, friends, and people I generally associate with, however, I don't live in fear of being outed. I had no problem opening up to him about my situation. I felt the implied confidentiality of patient/therapist was good enough for me.
    I got a sort of, "So what's the problem?" vibe from him. He did help me with some insights into how and why for me personally, and some help with dealing with the stresses involved. Of course everybody's different, but, I think having a male's perspective, may have been helpful for me. I think I would be fine with a female also. It was just nice to talk to a objective person.

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    MeeShell
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  13. #13
    Gold Member Alice Torn's Avatar
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    Thanks Teresa and Meeshell for sharing your experiences.

  14. #14
    AKA Lexi sometimes_miss's Avatar
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    I saw male psychologists during my school years, but I never mentioned anything about crossdressing, gender or sexuality. Back then, it was often just a session where they used some manipulative wording in order to get the child to agree to work harder in school, probably so they could declare in their report that the session was successful in converting a poor student into a hard working student that would now make everyone else happy by sacrificing his own needs so that everyone else could be proud of how the poor kid's life reflected on themselves.
    Basically I admitted to being depressed, and lonely, because none of the girls I liked had any interest in me. Imagine my dismay, when my counselors and psychologists told me that what I was feeling was just 'puppy love', and that it wasn't important; that what I should be focusing on was my schoolwork, and trying to get into a good college. It was mind crushing to see that none of them cared at all about what was bothering me so much. All they wanted, was a little overachieving student they could be proud of. Nothing else.
    So much for male psychologists back then.
    Right now, I work with one very good male psychologist; the other two, well, stink. They seem to hate coming to see their patients, and the overwhelming feeling I get from them, is that their patients aren't willing to pull themselves up by the bootstraps to make themselves get better.
    Not all of the women are good, either. None are older than 50; most are middle aged.
    I don't know how much is due to burn out, maybe a lot. But the most caring ones seem to be young to middle aged women.
    Some causes of crossdressing you've probably never even considered: My TG biography at:http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/...=1#post1490560
    There's an addendum at post # 82 on that thread, too. It's about a ten minute read.
    Why don't we understand our desire to dress, behave and feel like a girl? Because from childhood, boys are told that the worst possible thing we can be, is a sissy. This feeling is so ingrained into our psyche, that we will suppress any thoughts that connect us to being or wanting to be feminine, even to the point of creating separate personalities to assign those female feelings into.

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    Silver Member LilSissyStevie's Avatar
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    When I was younger I had plenty of therapists of both sexes. However, I never underwent any counseling willingly so I never got much out of it. The difference between male and female therapists was that I would never talk to the males about anything beyond superficialities and the females I would try to get to feel sorry for me. I was hoping to get some of that "Oh, you poor baby you've had it so tough" kind of crap. Women seemed more likely to buy into my excuses for bad behavior. Once, when I was locked up a psychiatrist told me flat out that I was a latent homosexual. I never told him anything about CDing or my AGP fantasies so I thought he must be psychic since even I thought I might be gay. When I got out, I was still on probation and one of the conditions of release was that I go to weekly counseling at the County mental health clinic. I was assigned to this raven haired beauty just out of college. Her skirts were so short she couldn't sit down without showing her stocking tops. All I could do was study her body and maybe try some of my sob stories on her. She eventually caught on to my BS and dumped me onto one of her male colleagues. I don't remember anything about him. I had another male psychiatrist that I suddenly realized one day was gay and was grooming me. I wasn't sure until he started suggesting I meet him for "extra counseling" off the books and out of the office. I got rid of him but there was yet another shrink that thought I might be gay. I guess the point of this is that you get out of it what you put into it and the sex of the therapist shouldn't matter if you are aware of the sexual dynamics that might be in play between you and the therapist. Actually, they're the ones that are supposed to figure that out but they are human too. The best choice for me would have been a middle aged hetero guy if I could have been honest with him and willing to accept help. But it wasn't to be and it turned out to be a big waste of time. It was just a pit stop on my way to pitiful, incomprehensible demoralization.
    Last edited by LilSissyStevie; 11-06-2019 at 02:37 PM.

  16. #16
    Gold Member Alice Torn's Avatar
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    LSS, I can relate to your younger days in school. After i graduated HS, i was a very troubled angry torn soul. My parents sent me to a community college to learn mechanics, but i was too emotionally messed up to stick with quit, after one day. i just did not know what the heck i wanted to do. i was extremely unhappy and miserable. i finally got a paint and chemicals factory job, where the fumes got me high all day, and i had 'chemical fumes hangovers" after work. It was toxic, and decades later, it was closed down by the EPA. My whole life has been just survival and damage control. I finally joined the military for a short time. I go to VA therapists now, all female. I start with a new one next week. I will see how it goes. The last one was totally supportive with my dressing, but seemed to push SRS and sex change on me. I still need my guy side,and enjoy doing guy things, but have a strong fem part of me, and fantasy of being a women part time. I know how men can feel threatened by CDers, and their masculinity threatened, if they see an attractive CDer. I have fear of a male therapist not versed in gender issues, who may be repulsed and angered by me discussing it. If a male therapist is educated in it, maybe not so much. I opened up to a former minister, who is a grief counselor now, and he is 2000 miles away. He is very compassionate.

  17. #17
    Senior Member Ceera's Avatar
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    One of the two therapists I met with to secure my approval letters for transition surgery was male. No different than dealing with the other, who was female.

    I have also had medical doctors of both genders, even before I committed to transitioning. They knew I under dressed, and had no issues with it.
    Last edited by Ceera; 11-06-2019 at 02:48 PM.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Patience View Post
    Why should the therapist's gender be a factor?
    This goes back to the thread about disliking or being uncomfortable around men. I would never be comfortable enough around a man to talk about any of my issues much less cross dressing

  19. #19
    Silver Member LilSissyStevie's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Alice Torn View Post
    The last one was totally supportive with my dressing, but seemed to push SRS and sex change on me.
    One of the unfortunate side effects of trans awareness among that profession is that some of them think that any gender non-conformance inevitably leads to transition. If I were inclined to seek therapy nowadays I would be hesitant to mention it for that reason. Never mind the fact that I don't see it as a problem in my case. I doubt that any male therapist is going to be repulsed or threatened by your CDing, more likely you'll get a cheerleader for transition.

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    A had a number of sessions with a male therapist with LGTBQ experience. I originally met him at the local PFLAG organization, and I decided to contact him for some visits. I wanted an opinion on where I fit into the "spectrum". After 4 or 5 sessions, he thought I was "gender fluid", and saw little reason for us to continue meeting, unless there were other things I wanted to discuss.

  21. #21
    Member Nyla F's Avatar
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    I have gone to a male counselor. I was nervous at first talking about being a crossdresser, but he was very professional, never made me feel uncomfortable, except the normal uncomfortable parts of counseling involving being honest with oneself.

    I also had a female couples counselor once and also had to talk about the crossdressing then. That was more uncomfortable because of having to work out issues with my wife. So the male counselor was easier to open up to, but probably just because it was just the two of us.
    Last edited by Nyla F; 12-05-2019 at 09:40 PM.

  22. #22
    🙊🙈🙉 Patience's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by AmandaSophy View Post
    This goes back to the thread about disliking or being uncomfortable around men. I would never be comfortable enough around a man to talk about any of my issues much less cross dressing
    That, then, would be the root of the problem, imo, and what really needs to be addressed.

    All points concerning female therapists are well taken and convinvcing, but there’s no getting around the fact that there is a bias at play here and it somewhat undermines the rational arguments. Not that I want to change anything.

    Folks should get the assistance they need from whoever makes them the most comfortable, for whatever reason. This is a complicated issue and there is no simple answer, but there’s also bias here. It can’t be denied.
    When haters hate, I celebrate!

  23. #23
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    It isn't just being male, but their age that may also be a factor.

    In more recent times men in medicine and mental health have been trained to have a better, for lack of a better term, "bedside manner". They are generally trained to listen more and be more empathetic than doctors trained, say, 50 years ago. Having dealt with both male doctors and therapists, I would be much more open to a younger male doctor/therapist than an older one. I remember one older therapist I dealt with briefly who was once a psychiatric nurse in the military. I did not get along with him at all. Not that he was not competent professionally, but I am a pretty sensitive person and we did not work well together.

  24. #24
    Aspiring Shopaholic BTWimRobin's Avatar
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    I am more comfortable in the company of women so I choose a female therapist.
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  25. #25
    Senior Member April Rose's Avatar
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    Alice, I'm not sure what the VA rules are regarding therapy. Do they allow you to choose between candidates, or are you stuck with who they give you? If you are mainly in need of work on your gender issues, you'll want someone trained in that area. If working out your issues with men is your priority I can see why choosing a male therapist might be helpful.

    I am so sorry your experiences with men have been so negative. There are kind, decent, rational caring men out there. I have personally benefited from the kindness and friendship of several of them. In hope at some point, you get to experience this as well.
    I am a vessel of the goddess. Let me express my calling to a feminine life through nurturing love and relatedness.

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