I see that many, including me, have seen female therapists. have any ever talked to a man therapist concerning CDing or marriage issues with Cding?
I see that many, including me, have seen female therapists. have any ever talked to a man therapist concerning CDing or marriage issues with Cding?
Why should the therapist's gender be a factor?
When haters hate, I celebrate!
I will say, that for me, I would be a lot more cautious and nervous. I have seen a female therapist, but, there is a gut feeling, about seeing a guy, for some reason. When out dressed up, i always have been a bit more nervous around men, than GGs. Maybe it is because many men have a different and threatened reaction to a guy dressed as a woman. I have only told two men that i dress.
I am going to a new therapist at the VA next week, another woman. Part of me thinks i need to see a male therapist. It would help me to overcome my fear of men knowing about my Alice side. Thanks Kim for sharing.
I never needed a therapist myself. I thoroughly researched my condition (CD), Decided I was NOT Homosexual, kept it well enough and comfortably hidden, and really did not have any problems. I likely know more about it than any Therapist anyway.
Speaking for myself, of course. And why would I want to give up a FUN thing?
To me if I were to see a therapist I would definitely prefer a woman, I just feel she would be easier to talk with.Originally Posted by Patience
Crissy
I use to see a therapist and both were female, I was just more comfortable talking with a female. I guess it could be personal preference.
I would say Patience is right as long as they are versed in gender therapy.
The only therapist I ever spoke with about my crossdressing was a GM my parents sent me to when I was a very confused teenager. From them I learned what a fetish was and I latched onto that explanation. Even as young as I was, I could sense that being a "weirdo" was somehow more acceptable than being transgender.
It's just a fetish... That became my big lie... To myself most of all.
I see not many of you are posting. That makes me think that very few have seen a male therapist.
Alice,
I would not choose a male therapist for the same reasons that others have stated. I am more comfortable with women and if I'm not comfortable, I'm not going to be that open. I'm sure there are plenty of wonderful, male therapists, but I don't think they are for me.
Robin
I'm just trying to find a decent melody
A song that I can sing in my own company
U2
I?ve always gone to female therapists and psychologists. I?ve switched to female MDs for general practice as I feel more at ease around them. I?ve have good and bad therapists in the mix. One was inexperienced with TGs, one was what I?d call a TG Nazi and basically told me early on what my future was going to be -?You?re going to move out, you?re going to get divorced, you will start hormones, and you will get a man.? That was too strong for me at that time, and even now. My current therapist is laid back and conveniently close to me in west Houston and is experienced with gender issues.
I would never unpack my bags to any man. Too many helped pack them in the first place that I would NEVER trust some male with my mind and emotions.
Interesting question. Ive only seen two counselors. One male who I saw after my divorce from my first wife 30 years ago. Nothing CD related, felt comfortable with him and bared my soul to him.
The second, female, I started seeing three or so years ago for CD issues and again felt comfortable and told ALL.
After reading this post and it started me thinking. I feel very comfortable talking about anything and everything no matter what it is. Im not sure I would have been comfortable talking to my first male counselor about my Sidney side and my female feelings.
Of course I dont have any close male friends and have always found it easier to talk to females.
Alice ,
My first therapist was male but that was over twenty years ago and thinking has moved on , he was expensive but also crap at his job !!
My last therapists were both female but it shouldn't make any difference if they can perform their job well , perhaps I do open up more to women .
I find it much easier to open up to women. I was not close to my father, and it was war between us. I was much closer to my mother, and that is one reason. Also, i was abused by boys and men.
Hi Alice,
The only therapist I've ever seen was a male. It was this year. I am closeted, per say,and I don't particularly desire to be out to family, friends, and people I generally associate with, however, I don't live in fear of being outed. I had no problem opening up to him about my situation. I felt the implied confidentiality of patient/therapist was good enough for me.
I got a sort of, "So what's the problem?" vibe from him. He did help me with some insights into how and why for me personally, and some help with dealing with the stresses involved. Of course everybody's different, but, I think having a male's perspective, may have been helpful for me. I think I would be fine with a female also. It was just nice to talk to a objective person.
Hugs
MeeShell
I'm not a woman trapped in a man's body.
"not that there's anything wrong with that"-George CostanzaI just feel pretty in pink
Thanks Teresa and Meeshell for sharing your experiences.
I saw male psychologists during my school years, but I never mentioned anything about crossdressing, gender or sexuality. Back then, it was often just a session where they used some manipulative wording in order to get the child to agree to work harder in school, probably so they could declare in their report that the session was successful in converting a poor student into a hard working student that would now make everyone else happy by sacrificing his own needs so that everyone else could be proud of how the poor kid's life reflected on themselves.
Basically I admitted to being depressed, and lonely, because none of the girls I liked had any interest in me. Imagine my dismay, when my counselors and psychologists told me that what I was feeling was just 'puppy love', and that it wasn't important; that what I should be focusing on was my schoolwork, and trying to get into a good college. It was mind crushing to see that none of them cared at all about what was bothering me so much. All they wanted, was a little overachieving student they could be proud of. Nothing else.
So much for male psychologists back then.
Right now, I work with one very good male psychologist; the other two, well, stink. They seem to hate coming to see their patients, and the overwhelming feeling I get from them, is that their patients aren't willing to pull themselves up by the bootstraps to make themselves get better.
Not all of the women are good, either. None are older than 50; most are middle aged.
I don't know how much is due to burn out, maybe a lot. But the most caring ones seem to be young to middle aged women.
Some causes of crossdressing you've probably never even considered: My TG biography at:http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/...=1#post1490560
There's an addendum at post # 82 on that thread, too. It's about a ten minute read.
Why don't we understand our desire to dress, behave and feel like a girl? Because from childhood, boys are told that the worst possible thing we can be, is a sissy. This feeling is so ingrained into our psyche, that we will suppress any thoughts that connect us to being or wanting to be feminine, even to the point of creating separate personalities to assign those female feelings into.
When I was younger I had plenty of therapists of both sexes. However, I never underwent any counseling willingly so I never got much out of it. The difference between male and female therapists was that I would never talk to the males about anything beyond superficialities and the females I would try to get to feel sorry for me. I was hoping to get some of that "Oh, you poor baby you've had it so tough" kind of crap. Women seemed more likely to buy into my excuses for bad behavior. Once, when I was locked up a psychiatrist told me flat out that I was a latent homosexual. I never told him anything about CDing or my AGP fantasies so I thought he must be psychic since even I thought I might be gay. When I got out, I was still on probation and one of the conditions of release was that I go to weekly counseling at the County mental health clinic. I was assigned to this raven haired beauty just out of college. Her skirts were so short she couldn't sit down without showing her stocking tops. All I could do was study her body and maybe try some of my sob stories on her. She eventually caught on to my BS and dumped me onto one of her male colleagues. I don't remember anything about him. I had another male psychiatrist that I suddenly realized one day was gay and was grooming me. I wasn't sure until he started suggesting I meet him for "extra counseling" off the books and out of the office. I got rid of him but there was yet another shrink that thought I might be gay. I guess the point of this is that you get out of it what you put into it and the sex of the therapist shouldn't matter if you are aware of the sexual dynamics that might be in play between you and the therapist. Actually, they're the ones that are supposed to figure that out but they are human too. The best choice for me would have been a middle aged hetero guy if I could have been honest with him and willing to accept help. But it wasn't to be and it turned out to be a big waste of time. It was just a pit stop on my way to pitiful, incomprehensible demoralization.
Last edited by LilSissyStevie; 11-06-2019 at 02:37 PM.
LSS, I can relate to your younger days in school. After i graduated HS, i was a very troubled angry torn soul. My parents sent me to a community college to learn mechanics, but i was too emotionally messed up to stick with quit, after one day. i just did not know what the heck i wanted to do. i was extremely unhappy and miserable. i finally got a paint and chemicals factory job, where the fumes got me high all day, and i had 'chemical fumes hangovers" after work. It was toxic, and decades later, it was closed down by the EPA. My whole life has been just survival and damage control. I finally joined the military for a short time. I go to VA therapists now, all female. I start with a new one next week. I will see how it goes. The last one was totally supportive with my dressing, but seemed to push SRS and sex change on me. I still need my guy side,and enjoy doing guy things, but have a strong fem part of me, and fantasy of being a women part time. I know how men can feel threatened by CDers, and their masculinity threatened, if they see an attractive CDer. I have fear of a male therapist not versed in gender issues, who may be repulsed and angered by me discussing it. If a male therapist is educated in it, maybe not so much. I opened up to a former minister, who is a grief counselor now, and he is 2000 miles away. He is very compassionate.
One of the unfortunate side effects of trans awareness among that profession is that some of them think that any gender non-conformance inevitably leads to transition. If I were inclined to seek therapy nowadays I would be hesitant to mention it for that reason. Never mind the fact that I don't see it as a problem in my case. I doubt that any male therapist is going to be repulsed or threatened by your CDing, more likely you'll get a cheerleader for transition.
A had a number of sessions with a male therapist with LGTBQ experience. I originally met him at the local PFLAG organization, and I decided to contact him for some visits. I wanted an opinion on where I fit into the "spectrum". After 4 or 5 sessions, he thought I was "gender fluid", and saw little reason for us to continue meeting, unless there were other things I wanted to discuss.
I saw a male psychiatrist at 22. Nice guy and a little helpful maybe but not really. In my early 30's I went to several psychologists. The sessions were not all about gender but my struggles with gender and sex played a big role in my loneliness, depression and anger and so were certainly part of the discussion/process. I tried several women psychologists and a couple men. Most were pretty worthless. They would want to be comforting which felt good for a moment but was totally useless over time. I was a tough patient now that I think about it (30-35 years later). I would look for their weaknesses and challenge what they do to see their reaction. This was not thought out ahead but, I guess, was part to my psychological process. Unfortunately I was very good at attacking so, if they were not up on their game, it did not go well. I also would express my deep sense of hopelessness and depression which I think scared a couple of them - I'd watch their reaction closely to see if they were up to the challenge. In short, I was not easy and most of the counselors I saw were woefully deficient.
The good news is not everyone stunk. I did see two psychologists who were very good. One was a male and one a female. Note, both had PhDs from good programs and I think that additional training gave them more tools to handle the crap I'd throw at them. So my bias is to recommend well trained psychologists, as opposed to Master level counselors. If you are seriously suicidal then you might go see a psychiatrist to get some drugs to get you over the hump. Also, please keep in mind that their is a difference between seeing a male or female psychologist, not because of them, but because YOU are going to react differently. If there were no discernible difference in your reaction to a male or female therapist then I'd say they are not doing their job very well.
One of the two therapists I met with to secure my approval letters for transition surgery was male. No different than dealing with the other, who was female.
I have also had medical doctors of both genders, even before I committed to transitioning. They knew I under dressed, and had no issues with it.
Last edited by Ceera; 11-06-2019 at 02:48 PM.
I have seen a male therapist and discussed my CD'ing with him. I was going to see him for some other reasons, and crossdressing just worked its way into the conversation. I don't remember exactly what he said, but I remember it put me at peace with that part of myself. I think it was partially telling an older man (whom one would fear the most ridicule from), and partially the way he responded that helped me come to terms with it.
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