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Thread: Have any of you ever seen a MALE THERAPIST about CDing?

  1. #26
    Gold Member Alice Torn's Avatar
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    April Rose. I have had and still do have at least one male friend. He is gay, and less judgmental than the other guy friends i have had. i did not come out to any other guy friends i have had,about my dressing , other than a lawyer friend i did some work for. He was not harsh about it, but not too happy about it either. I always thought he might be gay. So, very few if any guys i know now, will I tell about my CDing.

  2. #27
    Platinum Blonde member Ressie's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Patience View Post
    All points concerning female therapists are well taken and convinvcing, but there?s no getting around the fact that there is a bias at play here and it somewhat undermines the rational arguments.
    Everyone discriminates every day don't they? You choose what you want to eat for lunch, who you sleep with, your favorite kind of music etc. I choose not to see a therapist at all.
    "You're the only one to see the changes you take yourself through", Stevie Wonder

  3. #28
    Senior Member SaraLin's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by April Rose View Post
    Alice, I'm not sure what the VA rules are regarding therapy. Do they allow you to choose between candidates, or are you stuck with who they give you?
    I don't know about therapists. I haven't tried them with VA (yet?)
    I WAS given the option when I was signing up for my primary care doctor. I was asked "Is it OK if we set you up with a female doctor?" I was OK with that.
    At another time, I asked to be switched to another doctor - and they did.
    I'd assume the same would be true with therapists.


    Now to answer the OP. Over the years, I have had both male and female therapists and I have been OK with working with all of them.
    I'd have to say that I was a bit more comfortable with one of the female therapists, but the acceptance I felt from the males was more affirming.
    If that makes any sense.
    Last edited by SaraLin; 11-08-2019 at 06:24 AM. Reason: spelling error

  4. #29
    Resident Polymath MarinaTwelve200's Avatar
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    I never needed a therapist myself. I thoroughly researched my condition (CD), Decided I was NOT Homosexual, kept it well enough and comfortably hidden, and really did not have any problems. I likely know more about it than any Therapist anyway.

    Speaking for myself, of course. And why would I want to give up a FUN thing?

  5. #30
    Member Robin-in-TX's Avatar
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    Alice,

    I would not choose a male therapist for the same reasons that others have stated. I am more comfortable with women and if I'm not comfortable, I'm not going to be that open. I'm sure there are plenty of wonderful, male therapists, but I don't think they are for me.

    Robin
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    A song that I can sing in my own company

    U2

  6. #31
    Member Charla's Avatar
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    I?ve always gone to female therapists and psychologists. I?ve switched to female MDs for general practice as I feel more at ease around them. I?ve have good and bad therapists in the mix. One was inexperienced with TGs, one was what I?d call a TG Nazi and basically told me early on what my future was going to be -?You?re going to move out, you?re going to get divorced, you will start hormones, and you will get a man.? That was too strong for me at that time, and even now. My current therapist is laid back and conveniently close to me in west Houston and is experienced with gender issues.

  7. #32
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ressie View Post
    I choose not to see a therapist at all.
    I have to say I am with Ressie on this one. As I said I was sent to several therapists during my teen years and I do not recall any therapy ever making me feeling better about myself.

  8. #33
    Gold Member Alice Torn's Avatar
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    To be very honest, i have other mental and emotional health issues besides CD. I also am very alone, and just want the company and someone to talk with about things other than the weather.

  9. #34
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    I saw a male psychiatrist at 22. Nice guy and a little helpful maybe but not really. In my early 30's I went to several psychologists. The sessions were not all about gender but my struggles with gender and sex played a big role in my loneliness, depression and anger and so were certainly part of the discussion/process. I tried several women psychologists and a couple men. Most were pretty worthless. They would want to be comforting which felt good for a moment but was totally useless over time. I was a tough patient now that I think about it (30-35 years later). I would look for their weaknesses and challenge what they do to see their reaction. This was not thought out ahead but, I guess, was part to my psychological process. Unfortunately I was very good at attacking so, if they were not up on their game, it did not go well. I also would express my deep sense of hopelessness and depression which I think scared a couple of them - I'd watch their reaction closely to see if they were up to the challenge. In short, I was not easy and most of the counselors I saw were woefully deficient.

    The good news is not everyone stunk. I did see two psychologists who were very good. One was a male and one a female. Note, both had PhDs from good programs and I think that additional training gave them more tools to handle the crap I'd throw at them. So my bias is to recommend well trained psychologists, as opposed to Master level counselors. If you are seriously suicidal then you might go see a psychiatrist to get some drugs to get you over the hump. Also, please keep in mind that their is a difference between seeing a male or female psychologist, not because of them, but because YOU are going to react differently. If there were no discernible difference in your reaction to a male or female therapist then I'd say they are not doing their job very well.

  10. #35
    🙊🙈🙉 Patience's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ressie View Post
    Everyone discriminates every day don't they? You choose what you want to eat for lunch, who you sleep with, your favorite kind of music etc. I choose not to see a therapist at all.
    I know what you?re trying to get across, but your examples are unfortunately not equivalent. To wit:

    1. One may choose what to eat for lunch, with the understanding that too much of a single thing is not healthy in the long term, so the best option for the average person is to have a balanced diet, with the exception of individual food intolerances, which are caused by physical, not psychological factors.
    2. Sexual preference is a personal thing as well. Many of us are willing to experiment and seem to consider male attention as some kind of turn on. Could this be part of the problem?
    3. There are people who enjoy all kinds of music. Just not at the same time. People who know Music realize no single genre can provide the full gamut of emotions we are able to feel as human beings and therefore there is much to be gained from taking advantage of the positive aspects each genre has to offer. If you think about it, people who only like one kind of music are deliberately limiting themselves and not doing themselves any favors.


    The choice to see a therapist or not, as I see it, is up to the individual. Could that principle be extended to make some kind of equivalency between that and choosing not to eat, choosing to be sexually abstinent and choosing to never listen to music? Of course not.
    When haters hate, I celebrate!

  11. #36
    Platinum Blonde member Ressie's Avatar
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    So where is this bias that you speak of? I don't see it that way.
    "You're the only one to see the changes you take yourself through", Stevie Wonder

  12. #37
    Aspiring Member Sabrina133's Avatar
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    The first therapist i saw was male and i was in my early 20s. I kind of picked him out of the phone book because of his hours - he was available on saturdays and in Austin (I was living in Kileen TX about 90 minutes away). As I was still very much in the closet at the time and i couldnt see him on weekdays, it fit the bill. While sympathetic, he didnt have much experience with LGBTQ issues. He provided a soundning board but didnt really help me work out issues.

    My next two therapsits were female to include my current counsellor. Both are very experienced trans issues.

    I dont think its an issue of gender as much as exprience.

  13. #38
    Member Leonora's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Patience View Post
    Why should the therapist's gender be a factor?
    I use to see a therapist and both were female, I was just more comfortable talking with a female. I guess it could be personal preference.

  14. #39
    New Member Amelia13's Avatar
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    I have seen a male therapist and discussed my CD'ing with him. I was going to see him for some other reasons, and crossdressing just worked its way into the conversation. I don't remember exactly what he said, but I remember it put me at peace with that part of myself. I think it was partially telling an older man (whom one would fear the most ridicule from), and partially the way he responded that helped me come to terms with it.

  15. #40
    happy to be her Sarah Doepner's Avatar
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    My therapist is a gay male with lots of experience in supporting the trans community. The therapist's gender is less of an issue than their training and experience dealing with the issues we bring to the session. He has been great for me and I've been seeing him off and on for over 3 years now with nothing but openness and honesty on both sides.
    Sarah
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  16. #41
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    My wife and I saw a male therapist for a short time, and it was to address the issue of my CDing, or more accurately, about our inability to have meaningful discussions around the issue. He was very professional, treating my dressing as neither a positive or negative. To him, it was no more than an issue within our marriage that made communication difficult between the two of us. He offered no opinions about whether I should or should not wear female clothing. He referred only to my "gender expression" in neutral terms in the same way one might refer to "right handedness" versus "left handedness"

    BTW, I think he was straight because I seem to recall him mentioning his own wife and children.
    True professionals in any discipline are able to leave their own personal feelings out of the conversation.
    Last edited by suzanne; 12-05-2019 at 12:09 PM.

  17. #42
    Aspiring Member Star01's Avatar
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    If a vote was taken as to who would benefit the most from therapy based on past trauma I'd probably be in the running. I grew up in the 50's and 60's when therapy was looked on with suspicion and ended up losing mother, step mother, newborn half brother and father in an approximately four year span starting in 1962. I married young (just a few years after the aforementioned trauma) and did see my wife's therapist one time in the 80's then got talked into seeing one briefly myself. At that time the sessions did not touch on crossdressing and I didn't like him so I stopped going before gaining any momentum. My gut feeling must have been right because I thought he was creepy and a few years later his name popped up on the news due to accusations of taking advantage of female patients.

    Crossdressing aside I feel like I have picked myself up by the boot straps after trauma in what many considered impossible circumstances as a teenager, raised a family and sucked it up and dealt with whatever came. Not saying that is right or wrong but that is the typical way that my farm family immigrant roots dictated I should handle things. I'm sure many of you were there back in the day and know the stigma with therapy back then and understand how someone with that kind of upbringing might opt to tough it out.

    Consequently, now I could probably be classified as a mental basket case reclusive retired unfulfilled crossdresser that probably could use a few sessions but I'm not sure how or if my medicare supplemental allows it. That is something I need to take a look at because even my wife has suggested that therapy might help resolve the underlying angst I have 24/7. I'm sure that this life long tangled web is what is causing the angst.

  18. #43
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    For my gender issues I have a female therapist, but when it came time to consider HRT she referred me to a male therapist better attuned to WPATH standards to get my letter, which he provided after only one session, since I had been regularly followed for over a year already. I am still waiting on the HRT... damned socialized medicine, it has its advantages, but since it's non-urgent I'm on a waiting list to see an endo. I might have to go private if I'm not seen soon.

    The male therapist was fine, BTW.

  19. #44
    Member FrannGurl's Avatar
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    Several years ago I had a female therapist. After a few sessions I found her very easy to talk to. I think I would feel uneasy with a male therapist

  20. #45
    Gold Member Alice Torn's Avatar
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    I would really need to get to know a male therapist, before I could feel safe, or at ease enough to tell one about my dressing thing/

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