Results 1 to 15 of 15

Thread: Being Irrational?

  1. #1
    Member April Rose's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2017
    Location
    Massachusetts
    Posts
    255

    Being Irrational?

    I have stated before, in other posts, that I am in something of a caregiver role with my wife. her issues, which are ongoing and too complex to go into here, have left her incapable of doing a lot of things, to the point where she can't go out on her own, and I have to help her wash her hair, bathe, etc.

    This has put me in the position of being the homemaker, in the traditional sense. The shopping, cooking, cleaning and laundry all fall to me. We are fortunate that this didn't happen until we'd both retired. It might have put us in a tough spot.

    But now that it has happened, I have adjusted to it as a comfortable routine. I don't complain because I really don't feel put upon.

    In fact, I have somewhat the opposite problem. because I am home every day taking care of things, I dress every day, sans wig or makeup. I have become comfortable with what might be considered a conventionally feminine lifestyle.

    Therein lies the problem. The pleasure i take in being able to dress as a woman every day sometimes leaves me with a small but nagging feeling of guilt. It is a feeling that I am not doing enough to push her to recovery, because I am too content with being a housewife.

    It is illogical, I know, but it is hard to shake.

    During the rest of the time I'm pretty grateful that I get to lead as feminine a life as I do, despite limitations.

    I'm not even sure why I'm posting this. Just venting, I guess. You folks always seem to be good at talking sense into other people; why not me?
    Last edited by April Rose; 11-06-2019 at 11:29 PM. Reason: punctuation
    I am a vessel of the goddess. Let me express my calling to a feminine life through nurturing love and relatedness.

  2. #2
    Yeah Ok like whatever Tracii G's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2008
    Location
    Between here and there but mostly here close to the donuts.
    Posts
    21,415
    No reason to feel guilty really.
    What guilt are you feeling please expound on that a little it might help to get that off your chest.
    Head Executive Chief of the Dept of Redundancy Dept.

  3. #3
    Weirdest woman ever! docrobbysherry's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2007
    Location
    Orange County, Calif.
    Posts
    20,526
    April, I won't tell u not to feel guilty. But, I will say not 1 in a 100 would do what your doing without resentment!

    U r a special person and your love and devotion r quite rare. In many ways u and your SO r quite lucky!
    U can't keep doing the same things over and over and expect to enjoy life to the max. When u try new things, even if they r out of your comfort zone, u may experience new excitement and growth that u never expected.

    Challenge yourself and pursue your passions! When your life clock runs out, you'll have few or NO REGRETS!

  4. #4
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Oct 2010
    Location
    Western Washington
    Posts
    10,398
    I went back and read your thread/post where your wife encouraged you to answer the doorbell dressed. I don't know what constitutes being "dressed," but, if your wife has encouraged you then the fact of being attired as a woman should not make feel guilty. If your wife is recovering from an illness or injury you should be shouldering as much of the family load as possible. However, you should be encouraging her to progress in her therapy. My wife had an operation this year and her physician told her not to pickup anything over twenty pounds for a year. Several years ago my wife had triple negative breast cancer with chemotherapy, surgery, and radiation. That sapped her strength. There's a world of difference in helping a person through a period of recovery and keeping them from progressing. Ask your wife and her physician what her limitations are. If her recovery routine calls for leaving your home, then make sure she gets out of the house.

    I too would be content to be a homemaker. My wife always says she is not a "housewife" as she is NOT married to a house. En drab or when I am able to be en femme I do many of the domestic chores willingly. It would be a bonus if my wife told me to doll up a la June Cleaver, but, it shall not come to pass.

  5. #5
    Silver Member Helen_Highwater's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2010
    Location
    Midlands UK
    Posts
    4,613
    April,

    I can see why you might feel somewhat guilty. You're gaining from your SO's misfortunes but you need to remember those misfortunes are not of your making. If you will, it's the silver lining on an otherwise dark cloud.

    Your SO appears more than comfortable with your dressing. It's possibly her way of saying thank you for all that you're doing for her.

    Set your guilty feelings to one side. Embrace the good while dealing with the bad of the current situation.

    You're doing a good job in a difficult situation. Feel pride in how you're coping.

  6. #6
    Platinum Member kimdl93's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2010
    Location
    Almost heaven, but not West Virginia
    Posts
    20,369
    Glad you got that needless guilt off your chest. Everything you do helps your wife, directly or indirectly. The fact that you cheerfully get things done around the home and help her with activities of daily living is a huge contribution. Your contentment is no hindrance to her recovery, its a tremendous help.

    Easy come, easy go;
    Easy left me long ago...

  7. #7
    Member April Rose's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2017
    Location
    Massachusetts
    Posts
    255
    Thanks, everyone for your kind words and sensible advice.

    Tracii, suffice to say that, between the two of us, my wife is definitely the more stubborn. Sometimes I get exhausted trying to push the medically approved regimen.
    I am a vessel of the goddess. Let me express my calling to a feminine life through nurturing love and relatedness.

  8. #8
    Yeah Ok like whatever Tracii G's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2008
    Location
    Between here and there but mostly here close to the donuts.
    Posts
    21,415
    OK thanks for some clarification.
    I think you are doing a wonderful job to help her in her situation.
    Head Executive Chief of the Dept of Redundancy Dept.

  9. #9
    Curmudgeon Member donnalee's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2008
    Posts
    2,023
    Whatever you need to do to cope with your situation, do that. I was a caregiver for the last 8 years of my SO's life and did so willingly, but it is indeed stressful and you need to pay attention to your own health, both mental and physical, as well.
    Last edited by donnalee; 11-08-2019 at 02:25 AM.
    ALWAYS plan for the worst, then you can be pleasantly surprised if something else happens!

    "The important thing about the bear is not how well she dances, but that she dances at all." - Old Russian Proverb (with a gender change)

  10. #10
    Silver Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2016
    Location
    Orange County, California
    Posts
    2,494
    You mentioned, "push her to recovery." Is her physical challenge something that she CAN recover from if you were more proactive? Or not. To make you feel more comfortable, put on some lipstick.

  11. #11
    Platinum Member Teresa's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2013
    Location
    UK
    Posts
    10,525
    April,
    The important point is the dressing makes you feel happy and content , without the strees we can function much better . The role reversal isn't to every woman's taste , my wife didn't like it at first but she hated the domestic chores besides she was out working and earning a living , eventually she appreciated coming home to a meal on the table , a clean and tidy house and a lovely well tended garden . I'm so glad I wasn't dissuaded because now I live alone I can take good care of myself .
    The real me ,no going back.

  12. #12
    Aspiring Member Maid_Marion's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2018
    Posts
    656
    Hi April Rose,

    I've had to do all that, and more.

    Being caregiver is hard. You should do whatever is reasonable to relieve the stress. I think your wife agrees that dressing is a reasonable stress relief.

    Marion

  13. #13
    Gold Member alwayshave's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2011
    Location
    Washington, DC
    Posts
    6,810
    April, No reason t feel guilty. I wish I could dress everyday.
    Please call me Jamie, I always_have crossdressed, I always will, "alwayshave".

  14. #14
    Silver Member CynthiaD's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2011
    Location
    Texas
    Posts
    2,414
    You can always find something to feel guilty about if you try hard enough. Next time you feel the urge to feel guilty, do it up right. Really beat yourself up. But only for five minutes. Then say to yourself, “To heck with that!” And spend the rest of the day feeling pleased with yourself. Works for me.

  15. #15
    Member April Rose's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2017
    Location
    Massachusetts
    Posts
    255
    Both funny and wise, Cynthia! funny and wise
    I am a vessel of the goddess. Let me express my calling to a feminine life through nurturing love and relatedness.

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  


Check out these other hot web properties:
Catholic Personals | Jewish Personals | Millionaire Personals | Unsigned Artists | Crossdressing Relationship
BBW Personals | Latino Personals | Black Personals | Crossdresser Chat | Crossdressing QA
Biker Personals | CD Relationship | Crossdressing Dating | FTM Relationship | Dating | TG Relationship


The crossdressing community is one that needs to stick together and continue to be there for each other for whatever one needs.
We are always trying to improve the forum to better serve the crossdresser in all of us.

Browse Crossdressers By State