I don't crossdress for fun or thrills. I do it to feel normal. Fun and thrills are riding a motorcycle, driving a sports car, or maybe going to an amusement park with big roller coasters. Basically, I'm an adrenaline junkie, and enjoy going fast, or having the sensation of going fast. When I can't go out, flight sims do the trick.
Some causes of crossdressing you've probably never even considered: My TG biography at:http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/...=1#post1490560
There's an addendum at post # 82 on that thread, too. It's about a ten minute read.
Why don't we understand our desire to dress, behave and feel like a girl? Because from childhood, boys are told that the worst possible thing we can be, is a sissy. This feeling is so ingrained into our psyche, that we will suppress any thoughts that connect us to being or wanting to be feminine, even to the point of creating separate personalities to assign those female feelings into.
I have been meaning to make a post about some of the adrenaline junkie stuff I have done (including launching planes off a carrier and auto racing photography) and what connection those things had to my crossdressing persona. Looking back I have always been the smallish weak guy with small hands who wasn't good at sports and would rather sit and chat with the women than a bunch of guys. In retrospect I feel like I have spent most of my adult life attempting to put a punctuation mark on my manliness which when you cut through the clutter indicates that I feel inadequate in that role which is absolutely true. I am still stealth with my dressing but the additional time I have now being retired has me thinking about dressing all the time and climbing the walls because I can't.
I wear a bra and panties 24/7, for over 8 years now. And I have never been caught yet.
Rader
Closeted for 45 years, so please take any advice I might offer with a massive dose of reality.
Julia xo
What do closeted crossdressers do for fun?
Why, they crossdress, of course!
When haters hate, I celebrate!
I dress at home almost 24/7. Now that is cold here in New York I sometimes wear pantyhose always pant and a bra with forms under my coat. standing and talking to someone with all this on is such a rush.
Angie
I had that talk in the mid 80's so that coming out to my SO ship sailed a long time ago. I'm locked into a decades old agreement that is not open for renegotiation. DADT and her not wanting to discuss it or see me dressed is the resulting arrangement that has been in place ever since. I shave and clear coat my fingernails (red secretly applied to toenails) but she has gotten used to that and even bought me my clear polish that I tell her I'm using to prevent nails from splitting. During that time I have dressed and purged a couple times and have currently been back to dressing for approximately seven years. There are likely many on this forum that had the talk years ago and are locked into some type of non-negotiable agreement and hesitate to revisit them out of fear of a worse agreement or having to deal with a major meltdown.
Last edited by Star01; 11-22-2019 at 12:40 PM.
I'm in the same boat as Star. My wife and I had "The Talk" in the mid 1980's when it became absolutely clear she was not comfortable at all with my cross dressing. Up until the time when she found my vivid red Vanity Fair bra (daughter yanked it out of my armoire bottom draw) there was "bedroom play" with lingerie. Over the years she has found an article of clothing which I failed to put away or water balloons in the sink that I failed to pop and dispose of. She has found my browser open to this site. No snide comments. Nothing. Nadda. Nil. It can drive a guy to drink when the elephant in the room is avoided. Maybe an argument can be made that I am subconsciously trying to get caught. If I am, it isn't working. I wonder what her reaction would be if she did come home unexpectedly to find me all dolled up from head to toe, wig to heels?
That probably explains the open beer that is sitting in front of me at noon because it can cause some stress being restricted at home. In my case I have friends that I visit and get dressed up and sit around like we're auditioning for the neighborhood bridge club or something.
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At first glance DADT and having to hide my dressing at home sounds like it would be an impossible situation but in my case it's not as bad as it might sound. Star fits neatly into an extra large hiking style backpack and makes frequent visits to friends who share her interests. Star sleeps in a separate room on another level of the the home and gets dressed and quietly takes a few photos every now and then. Could it be better? That is an unknown that comes with risks and I am thinking about revisiting our agreement but am giving it a lot of time and careful consideration before deciding if, when and how I want to go forward with it.
Getting caught is not exciting for me at all. I do dress for excitement (sexual) and it also relaxes me at the same time if that makes sense. I have terrible anxiety and it's one of the things that allows me to relax.