Using the restroom while dressed.

[Kimberly A.]

Hey y'all. :-) I did read a thread regarding this issue, but I have a question..... In my situation, where I'm a M2F cross-dresser and as I said in my first post, I know that I look so masculine even dressed, I don't think that anyone would believe I was a woman. So, in a couple of weekends when I go home again, I plan to go out dressed and go out of town. Of course, I will most likely need to use the restroom. So, being a guy who looks as masculine as I do, what do I do when I need to use the restroom? Go into the ladies' room and hope no one notices? I could really use some advice on this. Thanks! :-)

[Majella St Gerard]

Tough call, without a photo, but I've seen some VERY masculine looking women. I'd say as long as you're presenting WELL, then go to the Ladies Room. Act like a Lady.

[Jodie_Lynn]

Use the restroom that matches your presentation.

Scary? damnbetcha! Scarier than using the men's room? Not so much.

Be aware of your surroundings, and when entering the loo, act like you belong. There is nothing creepier, and alarm-bell ringing, than someone acting like a thief, or worse, a guilty perv, when going into the Ladies room.

[Maid_Marion]

In Connecticut gender expression is a protected class under the sexual harassment laws. Retaliation is also another protected class.

[Karmen]

I try not to use a bathroom when I go out dressed, but if I really have to pee, I always use ladies room. It's still better than going to a men's room dressed as a woman, even it's obvious in my case, that I'm a man with makeup, wearing women's clothes. I never had a bad experience using ladies room. I received a strange look or a heard a giggle sometimes, but nothing worse than that.

[CynthiaD]

In Texas, where I live, it is illegal for a man to enter the lady’s room without being invited. (Whatever that means.) Even though our recent “stupid law” was defeated, it was already illegal for a genetic male to enter the lady’s room. The “stupid law” was just political posturing.

In my area, there are a number of places with gender-neutral bathrooms. There are others with single-user bathrooms. There are other places where the lady’s room is multi-user, but usually deserted. When I need to use the lady’s room, I do the following in this order.

1. Go home.
2. Go to a gender neutral bathroom. (Including family restrooms.)
3. Go to a single user bathroom if there is no line.
4. Go to a deserted multi-user lady’s room.
5. Go to a non-deserted multi-user lady’s room. (In A Target store, if possible.)

In a multi-user facility, I do my business as quickly as possible, wash my hands with soap, and get out as quickly as possible. I don’t look at or interact with other people. The idea is to seem as non-threatening as possible.

I’ve never had a problem.

[Kimberly A.]

Majella, thanks! Actually, I do have a profile picture and I'm not sure why it doesn't show up on my posts like the rest of you..... Maybe it has something to do with me being so new to the forum, Idk. LOL However, I did post a picture of me in my very first post titled, "I'm new!" in the Members Introduction section so if you want to see that, it's there. LOL

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Jodie_Lynn, I totally understand that and thank you for your advice. Me, I am not a perv and I wouldn't enter the ladies' room just to be trying to catch of glimpse of something I ought not to be trying to look at. LOL..... Not that you're saying I am a perv. Anyway of course, it will take a LOT of courage for me to enter the ladies' room, unless I can find one that only has room for one person it and it locks from the inside, then that won't really be a big deal. LOL

[Jodie_Lynn]

LOL Kimberly, I'm glad you took my post the way it was intended! I was NOT implying you are a perv!!!

But at some point in your journeys, you are going to "really need to go!", and you are going to have to girl up, and do what needs to be done.

And trust me, it ain't all that big of a deal. Good luck hun!

[Kimberly A.]

LOL Oh absolutely, I took your reply the way it was intended. You're not wrong at all, when the time comes and I have to do my business, I'll have to put on my big girl panties and go! LOL And thanks again! :-) Also of course, I couldn't help but notice you used the term "loo" and that got me to wondering, are you originally from Australia?

[Tracii G]

Hunt for a single use or family friendly restroom. Problem solved.
If you have a beard well then use the mens restroom.
I usually go for the unisex restrooms because they are single use mostly.
Regular multi person restrooms have stalls and they are a bit on the tight side for me.
I really don't like those big double toilet paper thingys when the are so close to the toilet.
Really makes it difficult to maneuver.

[JenniferMBlack]

I too am a fan of the family restroom. No chance of anyone flipping out. But if I look like a girl then I will go to the ladies room before the mens room. Once I was directed to the ladies room by a security guard, bit I am I'm Las Vegas.

[Aunt Kelly]

The unisex is always easier, but usually not an option in most venues, so...
If your presentation is age and venue appropriate, you are halfway there. "Don't act creepy" is technically correct and easy to say, but hard as hell to pull of the first time or two. Decorum is different in the ladies. A smile, with eye contact, goes a long way. Going with a friend who's been there before will help too, with both confidence and camouflage, if you will. Two ladies going in together is common, even two TG ladies is more normal than one.
Poise and confidence...

[Tracii G]

Aunt Kelly nailed it right there I agree completely.

[hosekid]

If you are like me, a M2F CD and identify as male, just a crossdressing male, you could use the men's room. I will use the womens room when I know that it is empty and I can go in and out quickly. I don't want to cause anyone to be uncomfortable in there. I will use the mens room whenever I damn well choose, because I am a man no matter how im dressed. If it makes the guys in there uncomfortable then oh well. If they decide to turn violent then I guess they are either gonna go to jail for beating up a crossdresser, or get their ass beat down, then go to jail for attempting to beat up a crossdresser. I will use the family restrooms too if there is one close by. A lot of people dont understand that it is none of their business what gender I am. They can assume all they want, but im not really under any obligation to prove it to anyone short of a spouse or doctor. But a random person on the street really has no need to know. It's funny that people have a big issue with CD's using the same bathroom as a woman/girl, but no one mentions pervs that like little boys having unfettered access to the mens room.

[Helen_Highwater]

Kimberly,

It is scary especially the first time so here's a suggestion. If you haven't already done so, go shopping enfemme and try something on in store obviously using the ladies changing room.

It seems universal theses days that changing rooms are a collection of individual cubicles. Gone is the day when things were more open plan or half lenght louvre doors. Again act with confidence, walk in and if there's an attendant simply ask to try this on please. You'll be shown to a cubicle, no issues.

Hopefully that will give you a bit more confidence.

As the others have said, walk in with confidence, pick a cubicle, and remember to sit. You're presenting as a female, emulate what females do.

One of the best things a newbie can do is observe. Watch how women behave. Mannerisms, walk, how they carry a handbag, getting these things right moves you to the point where it becomes less apparent that you're a male.

Remember, if it walks like a duck, quacks like a duck and looks like a duck then it's a duck.

[Davina Katherine]

Hi Kimberly,

You don't say in your post if your going with someone. But if you could go out with a girlfriend, then she could stand guard for you. That's what my wife did on our first outing. It was reassuring to know she was there to "defend" me!

Jessie Mae

[Angela Marie]

I'm 5ft 6 about 135-140 and I pass reasonably well. I've never had a problem using the ladies room but I always keep my guard up. I have to laugh when I hear people talking about trans people using the women's restroom and all the supposedly nefarious things that they may do. I want to get in and out as fast as possible and i'm sure many of you feel the same way. The thought "what if I get made and someone complains" is always in the back of my mind.

[Teresa]

Kimberly,
If fully dressed with makeup and wig use the ladies , I no longer worry about it but at first tried to find a quite time , the point is if you can go straight into a cubicle that's fine after just wash your hands as normal , most women will probably ignore you .

I must admit sometime ago I was playing safe and waiting to use a disabled toilet during our Xmas party , one of the GGs grabbed me by my arm and dragged me into the ladies saying everyone thinks you're a woman for goodness sake come in and get on with it !!

[Kimberly A.]

There are so many of you who replied to my original post here, so I decided to make a reply to all instead of replying to each individually..... It's a lot faster. LOL
Anyway, thank you all SO much for all of the advice, I will listen and take into consideration every bit of it.
A couple of you though, brought up that if I have a beard, use the men's room..... Of course that's good advice, but I've always shaved clean, so having a beard is not an issue. LOL
Everyone here so far has been so nice and supportive..... This is what I needed and I very much appreciate all of you! :-)

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JessieMae, I won't be going with anyone, I will be alone.

[Joan58]

Never had a problem using the girls room,, even in full male mode at a convenience store where it seemed the occupant of the men's room was not coming out soon. I just asked the clerk if it was ok to use the lady's. She just replied of course it is, Honey.

[Cheryl T]

I always use the ladies room when I'm out and dressed.
As was said, just go in, answer natures call, wash your hands and leave. Don't linger and check your makeup and brush your hair and fuss (unless you are very passable). In and out and there should be no issue.
If you feel you don't present that well then you can always use the men's room and just have the men assume you are gay or something.

If available a Unisex restroom is the best option.

Personally I have never had a bad experience in the ladies room and actually have had a couple of refreshing encounters, but that's my experience. It took a bit to become relaxed using the restroom but now it's just as normal as any other time. Sometimes I have to catch myself as I gravitate to the ladies room and have to check my appearance.

[char GG]

Please make sure you are aware whether or not there is a line waiting for the ladies room. WAIT in the line. Don?t be oblivious and just walk up to a stall. I?ve watched a nasty reaction to a CDer cutting the line.

Men typically don?t have a line. But, often times in a busy venue, there is a line for the ladies.

Take care and have fun.

[Stephanie47]

Kimberly, you mentioned in your question that you are "going home." It has not been mentioned, but, where is home? There are different laws in different states concerning gender expression and gender identification. In Washington State the anti discrimination laws include gender expression which covers cross dressers. Of course, having the law on one's side does not offer protection from violence. Hate crime legislation comes into play after there was a hate crime. My local municipality has passed a local law which makes every single occupancy restroom gender neutral and signage is required to that effect. No more men's room or ladies' room. I would think if you are in an adult venue and presenting as a woman, then there should not be any dust ups when using the ladies' room. You're already visible to the community. Personally, I would not run into the public library which is loaded with young kids and use the restroom. That sort of venue may solicit some push back from parents.

[Micki_Finn]

A lot of it is going to come down to WHERE you’re going to be. Most places out here in CA, most people wouldn’t bat an eye at you using either restroom. In some of the more conservative areas of the country I know some people are still getting aggressively confronted about bathroom use. So basically use your best judgement, be aware of your surroundings and geography, and try to not sink too many liquids lol. I generally try to avoid using the restroom when I’m out dressed, but that’s because when you have to deal with tights, panties, 3 layers of hose, and pads, plus however I may be strapped in to my outerwear, using the restroom is quite an ordeal.

[Kimberly A.]

Oh yes, I totally understand, Micki..... I'm from Mississippi and yeah, it's a more conservative state where LGBT or CDing isn't the most accepted thing in the world.
But DANG, THREE layers of hose?! I can stand MAYBE 2, but I only wear one pair at a time. LOL However, I'm sure that's comfortable for you, but doesn't really sound like it.
But yeah, most of the advice I've gotten in this thread is to use the restroom corresponding to the gender I am dressed as..... So, I'll either hopefully find a one-toilet ladies' room or a unisex restroom. LOL

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I totally agree, Roberta and thanks!

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Stephanie, first of all, my home is in the state of Mississippi..... I do not the laws concerning whether or not crossdressers are allowed to use the ladies' room. Secondly yeah, I agree I wouldn't go into a place like a library and use the ladies' room there. Or maybe not even McDonald's, but I plan on going to a mall and shopping around, then probably eating in the food court, not necessarily in that order, but you get my point. LOL