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Thread: Using the restroom while dressed.

  1. #1
    Junior Member Kimberly A.'s Avatar
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    Using the restroom while dressed.

    Hey y'all. :-) I did read a thread regarding this issue, but I have a question..... In my situation, where I'm a M2F cross-dresser and as I said in my first post, I know that I look so masculine even dressed, I don't think that anyone would believe I was a woman. So, in a couple of weekends when I go home again, I plan to go out dressed and go out of town. Of course, I will most likely need to use the restroom. So, being a guy who looks as masculine as I do, what do I do when I need to use the restroom? Go into the ladies' room and hope no one notices? I could really use some advice on this. Thanks! :-)

  2. #2
    Senior Member Majella St Gerard's Avatar
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    Tough call, without a photo, but I've seen some VERY masculine looking women. I'd say as long as you're presenting WELL, then go to the Ladies Room. Act like a Lady.

  3. #3
    Girl about Town Jodie_Lynn's Avatar
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    Use the restroom that matches your presentation.

    Scary? damnbetcha! Scarier than using the men's room? Not so much.

    Be aware of your surroundings, and when entering the loo, act like you belong. There is nothing creepier, and alarm-bell ringing, than someone acting like a thief, or worse, a guilty perv, when going into the Ladies room.
    Before you can love another, you must first like yourself

    I Aim To Misbehave

    Labels belong on BOXES, not PEOPLE!

  4. #4
    Junior Member Kimberly A.'s Avatar
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    Majella, thanks! Actually, I do have a profile picture and I'm not sure why it doesn't show up on my posts like the rest of you..... Maybe it has something to do with me being so new to the forum, Idk. LOL However, I did post a picture of me in my very first post titled, "I'm new!" in the Members Introduction section so if you want to see that, it's there. LOL

    [SIZE=1]- - - Updated - - -[/SIZE]

    Jodie_Lynn, I totally understand that and thank you for your advice. Me, I am not a perv and I wouldn't enter the ladies' room just to be trying to catch of glimpse of something I ought not to be trying to look at. LOL..... Not that you're saying I am a perv. Anyway of course, it will take a LOT of courage for me to enter the ladies' room, unless I can find one that only has room for one person it and it locks from the inside, then that won't really be a big deal. LOL

  5. #5
    Girl about Town Jodie_Lynn's Avatar
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    LOL Kimberly, I'm glad you took my post the way it was intended! I was NOT implying you are a perv!!!

    But at some point in your journeys, you are going to "really need to go!", and you are going to have to girl up, and do what needs to be done.

    And trust me, it ain't all that big of a deal. Good luck hun!
    Before you can love another, you must first like yourself

    I Aim To Misbehave

    Labels belong on BOXES, not PEOPLE!

  6. #6
    Junior Member Kimberly A.'s Avatar
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    LOL Oh absolutely, I took your reply the way it was intended. You're not wrong at all, when the time comes and I have to do my business, I'll have to put on my big girl panties and go! LOL And thanks again! :-) Also of course, I couldn't help but notice you used the term "loo" and that got me to wondering, are you originally from Australia?

  7. #7
    Yeah Ok like whatever Tracii G's Avatar
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    Hunt for a single use or family friendly restroom. Problem solved.
    If you have a beard well then use the mens restroom.
    I usually go for the unisex restrooms because they are single use mostly.
    Regular multi person restrooms have stalls and they are a bit on the tight side for me.
    I really don't like those big double toilet paper thingys when the are so close to the toilet.
    Really makes it difficult to maneuver.
    Last edited by Tracii G; 11-11-2019 at 08:29 PM.
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  8. #8
    Silver Member Sometimes Steffi's Avatar
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    I see your profile pic, and you look like a girl to me.

    That being so, use the girls room, sit with feet forward, touch up makeup quickly. don't stare.

    I always use the ladies room, but I'm 5'9", 150 lbs.
    Hi, I'm Steffi and I'm a crossdresser... And I accept and celebrate both sides of me. Or, maybe I'm gender fluid.

    Gender fluid (adj.) - Describes a person whose gender identity is not fixed. A person who is gender fluid may always feel like a mix of the two traditional genders, but may feel [more] like one gender some days, and [more like] another gender other days.

    Ref: https://www.lgbthealtheducation.org/wp-content/uploads/LGBT-Glossary_March2016.pdf

  9. #9
    Platinum Blonde member Ressie's Avatar
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    Tracii beat me to it. You might have to make some phone calls to find out where unisex bathrooms are.
    "You're the only one to see the changes you take yourself through", Stevie Wonder

  10. #10
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    I too am a fan of the family restroom. No chance of anyone flipping out. But if I look like a girl then I will go to the ladies room before the mens room. Once I was directed to the ladies room by a security guard, bit I am I'm Las Vegas.

  11. #11
    Seasoned Member Rhonda Darling's Avatar
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    Kimberly:

    Try the app “Refuge Restrooms” and see if it has anything to offer in your area.

    Also, I too see your profile photo — on your profile page. You need to upload a separate avatar photo that will appear when you post messages.

    I agree that unless you are sporting facial hair, use the restroom matching your presentation and own it. BUTT (pun intended), ALWAYS sit, don’t stand, feet facing stall door, and don’t “man-spread”

    Enjoy your time out.

    Rhonda
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    Learning to be the best woman I can, one blush at a time.
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    . . . and now, On With The Show!

  12. #12
    Weirdest woman ever! docrobbysherry's Avatar
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    When in doubt? I ask someone who works there first!

    Of course, I live out west. So, I'm not real concerned about some nut case coming after me in either rest room!
    U can't keep doing the same things over and over and expect to enjoy life to the max. When u try new things, even if they r out of your comfort zone, u may experience new excitement and growth that u never expected.

    Challenge yourself and pursue your passions! When your life clock runs out, you'll have few or NO REGRETS!

  13. #13
    Silver Member Aunt Kelly's Avatar
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    The unisex is always easier, but usually not an option in most venues, so...
    If your presentation is age and venue appropriate, you are halfway there. "Don't act creepy" is technically correct and easy to say, but hard as hell to pull of the first time or two. Decorum is different in the ladies. A smile, with eye contact, goes a long way. Going with a friend who's been there before will help too, with both confidence and camouflage, if you will. Two ladies going in together is common, even two TG ladies is more normal than one.
    Poise and confidence...

  14. #14
    Yeah Ok like whatever Tracii G's Avatar
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    Aunt Kelly nailed it right there I agree completely.
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  15. #15
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    If you are like me, a M2F CD and identify as male, just a crossdressing male, you could use the men's room. I will use the womens room when I know that it is empty and I can go in and out quickly. I don't want to cause anyone to be uncomfortable in there. I will use the mens room whenever I damn well choose, because I am a man no matter how im dressed. If it makes the guys in there uncomfortable then oh well. If they decide to turn violent then I guess they are either gonna go to jail for beating up a crossdresser, or get their ass beat down, then go to jail for attempting to beat up a crossdresser. I will use the family restrooms too if there is one close by. A lot of people dont understand that it is none of their business what gender I am. They can assume all they want, but im not really under any obligation to prove it to anyone short of a spouse or doctor. But a random person on the street really has no need to know. It's funny that people have a big issue with CD's using the same bathroom as a woman/girl, but no one mentions pervs that like little boys having unfettered access to the mens room.

  16. #16
    Silver Member Helen_Highwater's Avatar
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    Kimberly,

    It is scary especially the first time so here's a suggestion. If you haven't already done so, go shopping enfemme and try something on in store obviously using the ladies changing room.

    It seems universal theses days that changing rooms are a collection of individual cubicles. Gone is the day when things were more open plan or half lenght louvre doors. Again act with confidence, walk in and if there's an attendant simply ask to try this on please. You'll be shown to a cubicle, no issues.

    Hopefully that will give you a bit more confidence.

    As the others have said, walk in with confidence, pick a cubicle, and remember to sit. You're presenting as a female, emulate what females do.

    One of the best things a newbie can do is observe. Watch how women behave. Mannerisms, walk, how they carry a handbag, getting these things right moves you to the point where it becomes less apparent that you're a male.

    Remember, if it walks like a duck, quacks like a duck and looks like a duck then it's a duck.

  17. #17
    Member Jessie Mae's Avatar
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    Hi Kimberly,

    You don't say in your post if your going with someone. But if you could go out with a girlfriend, then she could stand guard for you. That's what my wife did on our first outing. It was reassuring to know she was there to "defend" me!

    Jessie Mae
    Two penguins are standing on an ice floe.
    The first penguin says, "You look like you're wearing a tuxedo."
    And the second penguin says, "What makes you think I'm not?"

  18. #18
    Aspiring Member Angela1954's Avatar
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    I'm 5ft 6 about 135-140 and I pass reasonably well. I've never had a problem using the ladies room but I always keep my guard up. I have to laugh when I hear people talking about trans people using the women's restroom and all the supposedly nefarious things that they may do. I want to get in and out as fast as possible and i'm sure many of you feel the same way. The thought "what if I get made and someone complains" is always in the back of my mind.

  19. #19
    Platinum Member Teresa's Avatar
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    Kimberly,
    If fully dressed with makeup and wig use the ladies , I no longer worry about it but at first tried to find a quite time , the point is if you can go straight into a cubicle that's fine after just wash your hands as normal , most women will probably ignore you .

    I must admit sometime ago I was playing safe and waiting to use a disabled toilet during our Xmas party , one of the GGs grabbed me by my arm and dragged me into the ladies saying everyone thinks you're a woman for goodness sake come in and get on with it !!
    The real me ,no going back.

  20. #20
    Junior Member Kimberly A.'s Avatar
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    There are so many of you who replied to my original post here, so I decided to make a reply to all instead of replying to each individually..... It's a lot faster. LOL
    Anyway, thank you all SO much for all of the advice, I will listen and take into consideration every bit of it.
    A couple of you though, brought up that if I have a beard, use the men's room..... Of course that's good advice, but I've always shaved clean, so having a beard is not an issue. LOL
    Everyone here so far has been so nice and supportive..... This is what I needed and I very much appreciate all of you! :-)

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    JessieMae, I won't be going with anyone, I will be alone.

  21. #21
    Member Joan58's Avatar
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    Never had a problem using the girls room,, even in full male mode at a convenience store where it seemed the occupant of the men's room was not coming out soon. I just asked the clerk if it was ok to use the lady's. She just replied of course it is, Honey.
    Joan58

  22. #22
    Exploring NEPA now Cheryl T's Avatar
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    I always use the ladies room when I'm out and dressed.
    As was said, just go in, answer natures call, wash your hands and leave. Don't linger and check your makeup and brush your hair and fuss (unless you are very passable). In and out and there should be no issue.
    If you feel you don't present that well then you can always use the men's room and just have the men assume you are gay or something.

    If available a Unisex restroom is the best option.

    Personally I have never had a bad experience in the ladies room and actually have had a couple of refreshing encounters, but that's my experience. It took a bit to become relaxed using the restroom but now it's just as normal as any other time. Sometimes I have to catch myself as I gravitate to the ladies room and have to check my appearance.
    Can you see the REAL Me?

  23. #23
    Super Moderator char GG's Avatar
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    Please make sure you are aware whether or not there is a line waiting for the ladies room. WAIT in the line. Don?t be oblivious and just walk up to a stall. I?ve watched a nasty reaction to a CDer cutting the line.

    Men typically don?t have a line. But, often times in a busy venue, there is a line for the ladies.

    Take care and have fun.
    Last edited by char GG; 11-12-2019 at 11:15 AM.

  24. #24
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    Kimberly, you mentioned in your question that you are "going home." It has not been mentioned, but, where is home? There are different laws in different states concerning gender expression and gender identification. In Washington State the anti discrimination laws include gender expression which covers cross dressers. Of course, having the law on one's side does not offer protection from violence. Hate crime legislation comes into play after there was a hate crime. My local municipality has passed a local law which makes every single occupancy restroom gender neutral and signage is required to that effect. No more men's room or ladies' room. I would think if you are in an adult venue and presenting as a woman, then there should not be any dust ups when using the ladies' room. You're already visible to the community. Personally, I would not run into the public library which is loaded with young kids and use the restroom. That sort of venue may solicit some push back from parents.
    Last edited by Stephanie47; 11-14-2019 at 02:28 AM.

  25. #25
    Silver Member Micki_Finn's Avatar
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    A lot of it is going to come down to WHERE you’re going to be. Most places out here in CA, most people wouldn’t bat an eye at you using either restroom. In some of the more conservative areas of the country I know some people are still getting aggressively confronted about bathroom use. So basically use your best judgement, be aware of your surroundings and geography, and try to not sink too many liquids lol. I generally try to avoid using the restroom when I’m out dressed, but that’s because when you have to deal with tights, panties, 3 layers of hose, and pads, plus however I may be strapped in to my outerwear, using the restroom is quite an ordeal.

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