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Thread: Using the restroom while dressed.

  1. #26
    Seňora Member Robertacd's Avatar
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    It's simple to me...

    Presenting as a woman, use the ladies room.

    Presenting as a man (or MIAD for those who do) use the men's room.

    In all cases common sense applies for your own safety and respect for others.

  2. #27
    Junior Member Kimberly A.'s Avatar
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    Oh yes, I totally understand, Micki..... I'm from Mississippi and yeah, it's a more conservative state where LGBT or CDing isn't the most accepted thing in the world.
    But DANG, THREE layers of hose?! I can stand MAYBE 2, but I only wear one pair at a time. LOL However, I'm sure that's comfortable for you, but doesn't really sound like it.
    But yeah, most of the advice I've gotten in this thread is to use the restroom corresponding to the gender I am dressed as..... So, I'll either hopefully find a one-toilet ladies' room or a unisex restroom. LOL

    [SIZE=1]- - - Updated - - -[/SIZE]

    I totally agree, Roberta and thanks!

    [SIZE=1]- - - Updated - - -[/SIZE]

    Stephanie, first of all, my home is in the state of Mississippi..... I do not the laws concerning whether or not crossdressers are allowed to use the ladies' room. Secondly yeah, I agree I wouldn't go into a place like a library and use the ladies' room there. Or maybe not even McDonald's, but I plan on going to a mall and shopping around, then probably eating in the food court, not necessarily in that order, but you get my point. LOL

  3. #28
    Aspiring Member Maid_Marion's Avatar
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    In Connecticut gender expression is a protected class under the sexual harassment laws. Retaliation is also another protected class.

  4. #29
    Silver Member Aunt Kelly's Avatar
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    Let us keep in mind that using the restroom is not a crime. The things that the bathroom bill idiots would have their voters be afraid of are already crimes. No transgender person has been successfully prosecuted for such a crime, ever!

  5. #30
    Member Karmen's Avatar
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    I try not to use a bathroom when I go out dressed, but if I really have to pee, I always use ladies room. It's still better than going to a men's room dressed as a woman, even it's obvious in my case, that I'm a man with makeup, wearing women's clothes. I never had a bad experience using ladies room. I received a strange look or a heard a giggle sometimes, but nothing worse than that.

  6. #31
    Silver Member CynthiaD's Avatar
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    In Texas, where I live, it is illegal for a man to enter the lady’s room without being invited. (Whatever that means.) Even though our recent “stupid law” was defeated, it was already illegal for a genetic male to enter the lady’s room. The “stupid law” was just political posturing.

    In my area, there are a number of places with gender-neutral bathrooms. There are others with single-user bathrooms. There are other places where the lady’s room is multi-user, but usually deserted. When I need to use the lady’s room, I do the following in this order.

    1. Go home.
    2. Go to a gender neutral bathroom. (Including family restrooms.)
    3. Go to a single user bathroom if there is no line.
    4. Go to a deserted multi-user lady’s room.
    5. Go to a non-deserted multi-user lady’s room. (In A Target store, if possible.)

    In a multi-user facility, I do my business as quickly as possible, wash my hands with soap, and get out as quickly as possible. I don’t look at or interact with other people. The idea is to seem as non-threatening as possible.

    I’ve never had a problem.

  7. #32
    Girl about Town Jodie_Lynn's Avatar
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    Once I was in a restaurant, with a male friend, and halfway through the meal, nature made herself imperative, so I asked the waitress where the restrooms were, and she said "The ladies room is right over there". And then told my companion that the men's rooms were "over there" and pointed to the other side of the restaurant. It made me feel very comfortable and at ease.

    I may have related this before, if so, I apologize. Once, after exiting the stall, I went to wash my hands. There was a tiny older woman doing the same. I could see her, in the mirror, giving me the eye up and down, and I thought "uh oh, here it comes..."

    Finally she looks at me and asks, "how tall are you?" I smiled and said 6 feet, the heels make me look taller."
    She then sighed and said I wish I could have some of your height" with a smile.
    I laughed and said "I'd gladly give it to you if I could!"

    Another time, in a QuikChek restroom, at the sinks, another woman eyed me up and down, then asked "Where did you get those boots? I love them!" And we chatted about shoes for something like 15 minutes.

    The best advice I can give, is to be confident, but cautious. I don't initiate conversations, but when approached, I always smile and respond.

    So far ( knock wood ) I haven't had a negative encounter, but the possibility is always on my mind.
    Before you can love another, you must first like yourself

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  8. #33
    Gold Member Alice Torn's Avatar
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    close to 7 foot on heels here. i willnot use a multi use ladies room. A one use locking ladies room, i have used in guy mode, many times, when the need was too much to wait for the guy to leave the mens single use room/ I have not been out in public in over 2 yrs, and try to go do business before going out
    .
    IT TAKES A REAL DRESS TO WEAR A MAN.

  9. #34
    Silver Member Micki_Finn's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kimberly A. View Post
    Oh yes, I totally understand, Micki..... I'm from Mississippi and yeah, it's a more conservative state where LGBT or CDing isn't the most accepted thing in the world.
    But DANG, THREE layers of hose?! I can stand MAYBE 2, but I only wear one pair at a time. LOL However, I'm sure that's comfortable for you, but doesn't really sound like it.
    It’s not UNcomfotable, and on cold nights in a short skirt it’s a godsend. But yeah that’s the best way to smooth out homemade hip pads.

  10. #35
    Silver Member Aunt Kelly's Avatar
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    We're not talking about "a man" using the ladies' room, but the only Texas law I know of prohibits going into the facility provided for the opposite gender "for the purpose of creating a disturbance". Judge Fry was pretty clear that "powdering one's nose" does not meet that definition during a presentation on such things to a Hoston Tri Ess chapter a few years ago.

  11. #36
    Silver Member CynthiaD's Avatar
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    You might be right, Aunt Kelly.

    I?m no expert, but my comments were based on an actual case 5 or10 years ago at the Austin public library, concerning a transsexual living as a woman during her life test. She was arrested merely for using the lady?s room, even though she had asked permission and had believed that permission had been granted. There may be a difference between publicly owned facilities and private. The whole case may have been thrown out. I don?t know. Better safe than sorry.

  12. #37
    Junior Member Kimberly A.'s Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Micki_Finn View Post
    It’s not UNcomfotable, and on cold nights in a short skirt it’s a godsend. But yeah that’s the best way to smooth out homemade hip pads.
    Oh yes, I can totally understand that, Micki..... I ordered some hip and thigh pads from Amazon, they come with an underwear thing with pockets, but I really don't want to use that. I'll have to experiment with that and see how it'll look.
    Last edited by Kimberly A.; 11-15-2019 at 12:46 PM.

  13. #38
    Member JessieMae's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jodie_Lynn View Post

    I may have related this before, if so, I apologize. Once, after exiting the stall, I went to wash my hands. There was a tiny older woman doing the same. I could see her, in the mirror, giving me the eye up and down, and I thought "uh oh, here it comes..."

    Finally she looks at me and asks, "how tall are you?" I smiled and said 6 feet, the heels make me look taller."
    She then sighed and said I wish I could have some of your height" with a smile.
    I laughed and said "I'd gladly give it to you if I could!"

    Another time, in a QuikChek restroom, at the sinks, another woman eyed me up and down, then asked "Where did you get those boots? I love them!" And we chatted about shoes for something like 15 minutes.

    The best advice I can give, is to be confident, but cautious. I don't initiate conversations, but when approached, I always smile and respond.

    So far ( knock wood ) I haven't had a negative encounter, but the possibility is always on my mind.
    Jodie Lynn, have you developed a more feminine voice? I have not, and fear speaking would do more harm than good.
    That adds to my reluctance to using a multi-use restroom.

    Jessie Mae
    So many cry-baby hearts to be broken

  14. #39
    Exploring NEPA now Cheryl T's Avatar
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    I've always felt that I'd rather risk the ire of a woman in the ladies room than the wrath of a homophobe in the men's room.
    Better to ask forgiveness than pay a hospital bill....lol
    Can you see the REAL Me?

  15. #40
    Vespa Vixen AngelaYVR's Avatar
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    Here in Canada there is a federal law that states you can use the bathroom that is most suitable for you (or however it is worded). Even so, I must gird my loins when queuing in a busy ladies room! And weirdly, despite never being challenged myself, I have a female acquaintance who is also 6 feet tall and a little androgynous looking who has been told she is in the wrong bathroom. Generally though, just look like you are supposed to be there and it will be fine.

  16. #41
    Seňora Member Robertacd's Avatar
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    What do you even mean by "sitting on the toilet the way a woman would"???

    What makes you think that a woman would sit any different than a man on a toilet?

    My wife sits just like I do. Legs slightly spread and relaxed.

    BTW. Woman are also LOUD when they pee. Why do you think little girls "tinkle"? I sometimes try to aim my stream so it hits the water when I am sitting, in an effort to sound like a GG, but it still doesn't sound the same.
    Last edited by Robertacd; 11-15-2019 at 07:39 PM.

  17. #42
    Junior Member Kimberly A.'s Avatar
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    Robertacd, when I said "sitting on the toilet the way a woman would", of course, I had never observed a woman on the toilet before..... Not even my ex-wife when I was married. So, that's why I Google'd pictures to see how women sit on the toilet so that way, if by some small possibility I have to go into a stall in the ladies' room and there are other women in there and the stall doesn't provide the most privacy in the world, (like you can see between the door of the stall and where the door closes), and a woman just happens to catch a glimpse of me, I could be prepared.

    Also, I had no idea that when women pee it's loud...? Other than my mother, she lived with me in my house for a while, some years ago and the bathroom had thin walls and I could hear her. I thought, DANG, that sounds like a man peeing! LOL

    But thank you for your advice, if women sit on the toilet in much the same manner as men do, then I have nothing to worry about. :-)

  18. #43
    Senior Member Glenda58's Avatar
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    I've always used the ladies room in and out touch up makeup and gone. No problems
    GLENDA
    I FEEL LIKE A WOMAN

  19. #44
    Junior Member Kimberly A.'s Avatar
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    Glenda, that's cool and an encouragement, tbh. Lol Thanks :-)

    [SIZE=1]- - - Updated - - -[/SIZE]

    First of all everyone, thank you all SO much for answering my question! As I've said, I will listen to y'alls advice and take everything into consideration..... Now with that said, when I've needed to use the restroom at truck stops, I have been practicing sitting on the toilet the way a woman would. I also Google'd some images to see how women sit on the toilet. Now from all of the pics I've seen, women sit on the toilet, pretty much with their knees together and feet spread out, kinda looking like a triangle shape...... Best way I know how to describe it. So, that's how I've been practicing sitting on the toilet and needless to say, it was quite painful on my thighs. Is that how women normally sit on the toilet?

  20. #45
    Rhonda Thomasina Sissy_in_pink's Avatar
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    I use the disable toilet where possible and there is no one waiting for it or if there is none or a queue waiting for it I will use the Ladies as long as there is also no queue if so I go find one that is less popular. I've been to a few concerts and just have to wait in the queue and hope no one wants to strike up a conversation.
    Rhonda Thomasina

  21. #46
    Girl about Town Jodie_Lynn's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by JessieMae View Post
    Jodie Lynn, have you developed a more feminine voice? I have not, and fear speaking would do more harm than good.
    That adds to my reluctance to using a multi-use restroom.

    Jessie Mae
    I'm not sure if it is more feminine, but I do soften my tones and raise the octaves a bit. IDK how convincing it is, since judging one's own voice is so difficult.

    In reality though, one shouldn't fear that it is one's voice that will give them away. From what I have seen, unless you are 20-something or younger, and blessed with a petite frame, you are going to be clocked.

    Whether it is your height, or your broad shoulders, prominent Adams apple, your gait, or your nervousness, most people aren't fooled by our clever disguises.

    That's why I am convinced that confidence is the key. Not confidence that you "pass", but confidence in your right to express yourself, and that you belong.

    No matter where you are, restroom, restaurant, market, or mall; if you ACT like the dog that just stole the chicken dinner, you WILL be noticed.

    IF, however, you act as if you belong, and don't do anything pervy or weird, you won't have any problems.

    And, as an aside to another's comments: YES women can pee loudly. And pass gas, LOUDLY, when they are in the sacred Holy-of-Holies, the ladies room.
    Before you can love another, you must first like yourself

    I Aim To Misbehave

    Labels belong on BOXES, not PEOPLE!

  22. #47
    Junior Member Kimberly A.'s Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jodie_Lynn View Post
    I'm not sure if it is more feminine, but I do soften my tones and raise the octaves a bit. IDK how convincing it is, since judging one's own voice is so difficult.

    In reality though, one shouldn't fear that it is one's voice that will give them away. From what I have seen, unless you are 20-something or younger, and blessed with a petite frame, you are going to be clocked.

    Whether it is your height, or your broad shoulders, prominent Adams apple, your gait, or your nervousness, most people aren't fooled by our clever disguises.

    That's why I am convinced that confidence is the key. Not confidence that you "pass", but confidence in your right to express yourself, and that you belong.

    No matter where you are, restroom, restaurant, market, or mall; if you ACT like the dog that just stole the chicken dinner, you WILL be noticed.

    IF, however, you act as if you belong, and don't do anything pervy or weird, you won't have any problems.

    And, as an aside to another's comments: YES women can pee loudly. And pass gas, LOUDLY, when they are in the sacred Holy-of-Holies, the ladies room.
    Oh, I know women can pass gas loudly..... I was married for 10 years! ROFL

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