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Thread: A bold step for me and no big deal for most of you

  1. #1
    Junior Member Star01's Avatar
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    A bold step for me and no big deal for most of you

    I got dressed up at a friend's house and had him take some photos this past weekend and used one to create the Avatar that appears next to my comments. For me to post photos of myself dressed on this board is a bold step and it gives me a basic idea of what it must be like to go out in public. The closest I have gotten to going outside while dressed was to stand in the garage and open the garage door to let a friend in without being seen one time last year.

    The past week has seen several small milestones. Finding some of my favorite garter top stockings that fit, getting better at eyeliner and spending time dressed with a friend. Another small victory was finding a shade of red/pink lipstick that hides my beard shadow when applied under foundation. I also purchased another cheap wig from a costume store and decided that next time I'm taking it up a notch and getting a better quality wig. The costume store wigs are adequate for my DADT truncated dressing sessions of the past but aren't very realistic looking and I'm obsessed with improving my look. Going out dressed could be the goal that's lurking in the back of my mind but my look isn't where I want it. A serious commitment to dieting is something that's long overdue and very difficult to do in my late 60's but based on my photo collection from the early 2000's when I was 30# lighter it would help a great deal towards blending in.

    Sorry if I'm rambling on without much direction but I just felt like posting something about my tiny victory and future goals.

  2. #2
    Junior Member CayleeMarie's Avatar
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    Every milestone is important because it's your milestone! Every step forward builds confidence for the next step. Glad you are having such wonderful experiences!

  3. #3
    Junior Member Star01's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by CayleeMarie View Post
    Every milestone is important because it's your milestone! Every step forward builds confidence for the next step. Glad you are having such wonderful experiences!
    Thank you. I have been around long enough to know that there are ups, downs and all arounds and the fog may lift or descend even lower in the valley of my angst. My earliest memory of being fascinated with the idea of being a woman came before puberty from an unlikely source. I'd put it sometime in the late 50's I used to get every issue of Superman comics. In one issue Superman or maybe it was a Superboy comic depicted him as running into some kind of strange kryptonite (might have been the pink variety) that turned him into Supergirl. The captions of his thoughts had him thinking about the changes to his body and the accompanying sensations. That simple little cartoon started the ball rolling that I acted on when finding my stepmother's clothes in the attic after her passing and trying something on many days after school when I had some latch key time. I have much to say and I'm retired with cold weather setting in so forgive me in advance for frequent posts while I'm in this unsettled frame of mind. No serious issues that anyone should be worried about, in fact to the contrary they should be happy for me because a Star has been reborn. Even sitting here in these guy sweats the feeling of my smooth legs and knowing I have painted toenails are constant reminders. My former long hair thinned out too much on top to look good long but my ear piercings are back and open for business again.

    Seriously, when a person is retired and has time on their hands and something like this hits it can easily become an all day every day obsession so somebody scold me if they see that I'm active on here all day until things settle down.

  4. #4
    Silver Member Micki_Finn's Avatar
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    Like I’ve said before, dressing isn’t a race or a competition. You’re allowed to progress at your own rate, or not at all if you choose. It’s a big deal to let other people see you dressed, and an even bigger deal to open yourself up to possible criticism from strangers. I’m proud of you for taking a step that was frightening to you.congrats!

  5. #5
    Junior Member Star01's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Micki_Finn View Post
    Like I?ve said before, dressing isn?t a race or a competition. You?re allowed to progress at your own rate, or not at all if you choose. It?s a big deal to let other people see you dressed, and an even bigger deal to open yourself up to possible criticism from strangers. I?m proud of you for taking a step that was frightening to you.congrats!
    Thank you, I might need an occasional slap to gather my common sense once in a while. I'd estimate the first time I wore any women's clothing as being around 1964 and have been up and down this roller coaster many times. This current incarnation is looking to be more serious and likely something that was bound to come out at some point in my life. By the way, you look fantastic with your hair and makeup.

  6. #6
    Weirdest woman ever! docrobbysherry's Avatar
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    Star, losing weight for health and activity reasons should be enuff. Losing weight to look better in your fem clothes is a whole other thing. And, is not really necessary!

    I have countless T friends who go out all the time. And, their 30+ extra pounds doesn't make them look any less fem. Just less attractive!

    To that end, they make corsets and girdles which help hide male spare tires!
    U can't keep doing the same things over and over and expect to enjoy life to the max. When u try new things, even if they r out of your comfort zone, u may experience new excitement and growth that u never expected.

    Challenge yourself and pursue your passions! When your life clock runs out, you'll have few or NO REGRETS!

  7. #7
    Junior Member Star01's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by docrobbysherry View Post
    Star, losing weight for health and activity reasons should be enuff. Losing weight to look better in your fem clothes is a whole other thing. And, is not really necessary!

    I have countless T friends who go out all the time. And, their 30+ extra pounds doesn't make them look any less fem. Just less attractive!

    To that end, they make corsets and girdles which help hide male spare tires!
    I'm close to your age and have yo yo dieted many times so I know that the balance between perfection and self acceptance must be maintained as well so thanks for pointing that out. I have some twenty year old photos of myself all dressed up with my formerly long hair, makeup and earrings when I was much thinner. They are a constant incentive to try to get motivated and drop a few pounds so that will always be in my thoughts in spite of my lack of willpower to put my wish into action.

  8. #8
    3dxchat User JuliaGirl's Avatar
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    Bravo sweetie! I know exactly that feeling of happiness and nervousness submitting and posting an avatar picture (and also never having ventured outside). I have a makeup session scheduled for January and I intend to post more from that evening. Great step forward.
    Julia xo

  9. #9
    Beach Babe Michaelasfun's Avatar
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    Good on you! The first steps are the hardest whether it’s this, or a new exercise program
    Michaela


    When you choose not to decide, you still have made a choice. - Rush
    Facebook- Michaela Featherstone

  10. #10
    stone free mykell's Avatar
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    hi star, going at your own pace is sage advise....corsets have inherent health risks at prime ages, i have but it only collects dust at this point, i have been watching my diet and exorcise to help make myself healthier so i can continue to dress longer.

    congratz on your achievement....
    ....Mykell
    i dressed like a girl and i liked it! crossdressing...theirs an app for that those who deny freedom deserve it not for themselves
    NOBODY gets a pass to blow out someone else's candle in order to make theyre's shine brighter

  11. #11
    Senior Member Jean 103's Avatar
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    There is no need to apologise for being you. It is what makes you well you.

    Besides your relationship your biggest obstacle is fear.

    It takes time, the picture is nice but you have already made one of the biggest steps you can make, you have a friend.

    It sounds like you already know about losing weight , getting down to an ideal Weight for you is a good thing, but don't let it stop you from enjoying your life.

  12. #12
    Silver Member Crissy 107's Avatar
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    Congrats on a very nice achievement, I can understand you being so happy.
    Crissy

  13. #13
    Goddess-In-Training Macey's Avatar
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    No, no. It IS a big deal! Congrats, hun! So good to wake up to wonderful news
    Too much mascara is almost enough.

    Contact me on MeWe mewe.com/i/maceyg

  14. #14
    Silver Member Helen_Highwater's Avatar
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    Every journey of 1000 miles starts with those first steps. It's a learning experience, getting to know yourself and like taking up a musical instrument takes practice.

    Investing in a decent wig is something that can have huge benefits. It took me years of going out and about to get the courage to shop for a wig in person. I'm sure many will echo that it's one of the best things we can do.

    Being able to see yourself in different styles was for me an eye opener. Trying on a shorter style revealed a torally different me much to my pleasant surprise.

    It seems to me you're making good steady progress. Go at your own pace, it's your journey.

  15. #15
    Aspiring Shopaholic BTWimRobin's Avatar
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    Hi Star,

    This whole dressing thing is like running a marathon. The important thing to remember is to keep moving forward at a pace that's right for you. Congrats on attaining some goals. Loosing some weight and taking better care of yourself is always a win. Enjoy your journey.
    - Robin

  16. #16
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    I'm a little older than you. Having been raised in an age or time period when men and boys who wore women's clothing were scorned I can easily understand dressing can be progressive. It took a long time to buy my first wig. I bought a brunette wig one Halloween and another at a different Halloween. It did take some guts on my part to actually buy a regular wig and not a Goodwill type Halloween only wig. The same with all the different clothes. I think you'll find it becomes easier and easier to expand your wardrobe. Appearing in public is a different matter.

    If you want to get out from behind the garage door do it in baby steps. Don't head off to the mall to strut your stuff. I started out taking drives through a nearby neighborhood. Then I progressed to getting out of the car to retrieve one of those free newspapers or mail a letter or return a library book in the night return slot. Nothing really adventurous although each time I would park my car further and further away from my objective. I have progressed to taking evening walks in a safe residential neighborhood. If it is raining I find using an umbrella will offer some ability to conceal my male facial feature and to some extent my six foot height.

    As to your weight. Losing weight in itself is good for general health; diabetes and cardio.

    Also, welcome to the world of a retiree. I do log onto this site several times a day. I also peruse ebay and retail sites looking for great buys on women's clothing. I also watch Youtube videos. I also do not ignore the ordinary chores of maintaining a house. I figure if I went to work for eight to ten hours a day I earned a couple of hours perusing the internet. Heck, my retire wife does the same thing with her free time.

  17. #17
    Junior Member Star01's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Stephanie47 View Post
    I'm a little older than you. Having been raised in an age or time period when men and boys who wore women's clothing were scorned I can easily understand dressing can be progressive. It took a long time to buy my first wig. I bought a brunette wig one Halloween and another at a different Halloween. It did take some guts on my part to actually buy a regular wig and not a Goodwill type Halloween only wig. The same with all the different clothes. I think you'll find it becomes easier and easier to expand your wardrobe. Appearing in public is a different matter.

    If you want to get out from behind the garage door do it in baby steps. Don't head off to the mall to strut your stuff. I started out taking drives through a nearby neighborhood. Then I progressed to getting out of the car to retrieve one of those free newspapers or mail a letter or return a library book in the night return slot. Nothing really adventurous although each time I would park my car further and further away from my objective. I have progressed to taking evening walks in a safe residential neighborhood. If it is raining I find using an umbrella will offer some ability to conceal my male facial feature and to some extent my six foot height.

    As to your weight. Losing weight in itself is good for general health; diabetes and cardio.

    Also, welcome to the world of a retiree. I do log onto this site several times a day. I also peruse ebay and retail sites looking for great buys on women's clothing. I also watch Youtube videos. I also do not ignore the ordinary chores of maintaining a house. I figure if I went to work for eight to ten hours a day I earned a couple of hours perusing the internet. Heck, my retire wife does the same thing with her free time.
    Thank you for the encouraging words. It's kind of odd being new at something at 68 as I have dressed for decades but upping the ante is new and uncharted territory. So far I'm DADT going through all of this angst in private so by extension shopping is another difficult thing. As far as going out walking or driving that would be kind of complicated right now. I live next to a walking path but I'm liable to see neighbors and even relatives from down the road are a possibility so that is not happening. Driving anywhere would be sketchy, my wife drives the good car daily and I drive an old rusty van used for hauling compost and building materials. Going anywhere in that thing dressed or just being able to get out there and get in it dressed without neighbors seeing me would be a challenge assuming I was home alone and could even attempt it. The neighbor next door once tried out for an NFL team and various other around here I wouldn't want seeing me at this point. Basically for me to go out dressed will require upping my game on my part to look more acceptable and having the talk with my wife, something I'm thinking about but not really read to do just yet.

    I was pretty caught up in this feeling before I started posting about it so in that respect this time is different as in the past I wouldn't have made these posts. That's all I know for sure right now is that this time is different so I'm along for the ride and have no idea where this bus is heading.

  18. #18
    Weirdest woman ever! docrobbysherry's Avatar
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    Star, I'm a closet dresser. I go out a lot, but NEVER in or near my home town!
    I often drive out of our condo complex in daylite. I'm never sure when neighbors will be out front and I'll pass them by just a few feet away. What I do is: wear shades to hide my makeup and a jacket over my top or dress. I wear a baseball cap and put my wig on at my destination!

    I'm 76 and weigh 25 pounds less than when I began dressing out of the blue in my 50's. I got serious about Sherry's figure when I began going out 12+ years ago. I promptly quit my gym, (muscles aren't fem), and made gradual diet changes over the next year. Small changes I could live with add up over time. Like wine instead of beer. No snacking between meals. No food after 9 PM. Dinners of lean meat, veggies, and salad only. Diets don't work. Remember, if u lose just a couple of pounds a week, you're going in the rite direction!
    U can't keep doing the same things over and over and expect to enjoy life to the max. When u try new things, even if they r out of your comfort zone, u may experience new excitement and growth that u never expected.

    Challenge yourself and pursue your passions! When your life clock runs out, you'll have few or NO REGRETS!

  19. #19
    I bitch because I care. Patience's Avatar
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    I am happy that you're moving along and becoming more confident, but other than the experience of being seen by others while dressed, posting an avatar on a website and being out dressed are two completely different propositions.

    It's funny how coming to terms with one's dressing makes one more conscious of one's self-image. I think that's common across the board.
    Forgive me for having the irritatingly feminine trait of wanting to improve the people that I like.

    ... and though she feels as if she's in a play, she is anyway.

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