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Thread: Slightly uncomfortable moment and updates

  1. #1
    Member Robin-in-TX's Avatar
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    Slightly uncomfortable moment and updates

    Hi

    I work for the Air Force and they allow us to take 3 hours of work time per week for physical fitness. I go to the gym for the last hour of the day, 3 days a week and change in my office. I'm the legal support for a separate organization and work in their building to give better support. Seven weeks ago I began transitioning. The hair is gone from my body and I am on HRT, which I will discuss below.

    Anyway, more than half the people at work are women. Three were sitting outside of my office at the reception desk. When I came out of the office and turned to put my in/out sign to "out", one of them said at substantial volume, "nice legs!" Then she repeated it at the same volume. I'm someone that does not normally like personal attention and this was not welcome. People in the hallway and the other women sitting there then looked right at my nicely shaved legs. I said something like, "we take our blessings where we can get them and I got these at the gym." She retires next month. Then I turned and walked away, knowing that they were all looking at my legs.

    Now this is a small thing. It is also something that she should not have done. Commenting on other's bodies is inappropriate in the workplace and commenting on the attorneys body when you are barely an acquaintance is bizarre. The other two ladies looked uncomfortable. Of course, she doesn't care. When you are one month from retirement, you can do what you want for the most part if you work for the government.

    I think I need to get over people noticing changes in me. More are coming and I need to toughen up. (I do have nice legs though.)

    Now for update: I'm in my sixth week of hormones and my breasts are growing faster than I expected, much faster. I don't have the budding. I know what that feels like, I had it in my early teens. I remember worrying if I was going to grow full on breasts. It stopped though. I did have to take a year off sports because I could not wear shoulder pads. Anything hitting my chest was just so painful.

    So, what is happening is they are a little achy and are definitely filling out. I have a bra that I bought a few months ago that did not fit. It has soft cups and I did not fill them at all. When wearing it, you could tell. I put it on yesterday and while not filling it completely it is smooth under my clothes. I cannot flatten them out. They are about a 40B/42A right now. There is 3.5 inches between my under bust and bust measurements. Everyday they seem a little bigger and I'm wearing larger workout shirts and a camisole under my work shirts. Also, my nipples are poking out and the seatbelt rubs against the right one. I had a 2 year transition plan, my breasts seem to be operating on a different timeline.

    Anyone else experienced anything similar? If this is in the wrong forum, could you move it to the proper forum? Thank you.

    Robin
    Last edited by Nigella; 11-13-2019 at 11:57 AM. Reason: Please remember the TS forum is gender neutral
    I'm just trying to find a decent melody
    A song that I can sing in my own company

    U2

  2. #2
    The 100th sheep GaleWarning's Avatar
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    Hi Robin

    As males, we have learned, sometimes the hard way, that many women take exception to men passing comments on their appearance.
    On the other hand, women seem to take pride in any favourable comment made by another woman.

    Physical changes such as you have described are chemically controlled, and you have little say in the way they occur.
    On the other hand, mental changes in attitude are entirely yours to bring about and control.

    IMHO, part of the transition process ought to be about rethinking your previous attitudes, pre-conceptions and prejudices concerning women.
    I think you ought to have been pleased to note and accept the good comment your colleague made.

    If you have nice legs, flaunt them!

  3. #3
    Aspiring Member
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    In my transition, I can get a better handle on being a woman. Not only are the clothes prettier but the attitudes are much better. I try to complement a woman on her appearance. I know how hard she works at looking presentable and I love to see the smioe light up thei face

  4. #4
    Gold Member Lana Mae's Avatar
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    Robin, maybe I am reading this wrong but that woman gave you a compliment and you got offended! Lighten up!
    Second, we have no control on where the HT is going to take us! It will do whatever it is going to do! As I have noted before, my endo says five years to reach full results! This is puberty all over again! LOL
    Hugs Lana Mae
    Life is worth living!
    "Foxy lady! You look so good!!" Jimi Hendrix

  5. #5
    Member Robin-in-TX's Avatar
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    Thank you all for your comments. Lana Mae, I think you might be reading it wrong. While loudly drawing attention to someone's physical characteristic in the workplace is actually wrong and I pointed it out here, I don't think she was ridiculing me for it. I'm more criticizing myself for not having thick enough skin. I think it was a compliment as I do have nice legs, I'm too self conscious about everything having to do with me and always have been. I'm in good shape, although losing muscle tone at an incredible rate. I have to learn to accept that people are going to notice things about me and might comment, negatively or positively.

    I am excited to see breasts and have cleavage, but it is just so much faster than I expected. Still, if anyone has had similar results, I would love to hear from you and how you approached it. Thank you all again.
    I'm just trying to find a decent melody
    A song that I can sing in my own company

    U2

  6. #6
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    Quote Originally Posted by GaleWarning View Post
    ...

    As males, ...
    Seriously, in the TS forum?

    EDITED

    Please do not quote or respond to this post, you can do that here
    Last edited by Nigella; 11-14-2019 at 11:18 AM.
    Listen carefully to what is said, quite often you can hear what is not being said

    The joy of correcting a mistake can bring pain to another

  7. #7
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    Robin,
    I'm so pleased it's going well for you , it sounds as if your rapid progress is catching you out but the good news is the hormones are successfully doing their job , I hope it continues to progress well .

    As for the remark about your legs , I've commented on this before but I have noticed women don't on the whole comment about other women's figures apart from they do appear to like nice legs and openly say so . I have had this happen several times even my daughter said I had better legs than her and I've always considered she has a good figure .

    Taking a different viewpoint at least you aren't getting hurtful and derogatory remarks .

  8. #8
    Aspiring Member Eemz's Avatar
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    > Commenting on other's bodies is inappropriate in the workplace,

    Absolutely Robin and it’s important to remember that. You don’t need to toughen up; it’s simply inappropriate to make public comments about somebody else’s body at work, that’s all. It doesn’t matter what sex or gender anybody was.

    But people will start to notice that you are changing LOL. They’re not blind or stupid so you definitely will have to get over that . They are entitled to notice, just not to make a fuss about it at work.
    Last edited by Eemz; 11-18-2019 at 04:59 AM.

  9. #9
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    Just wondering. Are the staff a part of your transition? Meaning, are they aware of what's going on or have you always been a woman to them?

  10. #10
    Member Robin-in-TX's Avatar
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    Dallasmann, I have not always been a woman to them and they are not currently part of my transition.

    Robin
    I'm just trying to find a decent melody
    A song that I can sing in my own company

    U2

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