I always had mostly girls as friends in high school as I enjoyed being around them more than guys. I had my one or two close guy friends to do things with (fishing, four wheeling, etc.), but outside of that, it was girls. No one ever knew I dressed, and I only dressed a few times per month or so.
I started dressing in high school, I don't remember the exact age or year. I didn't fully dress until well into my late 20s or so. I started with panties and those silky anti-static slips. I just loved the soft fabrics against my skin. I felt a calm, soothing feeling in these clothes. It was not so much a sexual thing for me, but rather a coping mechanism I believe.
I was talking with my therapist this week which is why I mentioned the coping above. My therapist asked me if there was anything traumatic during the time i started dressing. Absolutely yes. I grew up in a household where there was constant fighting between everyone in my family, culminating with my parents divorcing between my freshman and sophomore years of high school. My father always told me that I was no dammmm good throughout my childhood.
All that being said, I believe I found dressing as an escape from the life stresses I was dealing with. It was in those brief moments where I was dressed, that I could mentally check out/forget about everything else going on. The fabrics were soothing against my skin, caiming came over me, and I felt so safe and secure in those moments.
I can't wait to see where therapy takes me, what my relationship with my SO grows into, and how I can learn to be a better me for her and us.
