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Thread: Why cross dress or present as a woman?

  1. #1
    Carole carhill2mn's Avatar
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    Why cross dress or present as a woman?

    A common question asked of people like me/us is why do you cross dress or present as a woman.

    I am sure that the answers will vary a lot among us. For me, there are several parts to my answer.

    I like how I look when presenting as a woman.
    I like how the clothes feel.
    I like how many choices of skirts, blouses, tops, dresses are available to me.
    I like pretty shoes. Unfortunately, balance problems have greatly limited my choices. No more high heels..bummer!
    I like to wear earrings, bracelets, necklaces that are pretty.
    I like to wear panty hose, panties, bras, slips.
    I like how makeup and wigs improve my appearance.
    I like how people treat me when interacting with me presenting as a woman.

    The short answer is that I like everything about presenting as a woman!
    Hugs, Carole

  2. #2
    Sallee Sallee's Avatar
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    those are the correct answers. but just "I enjoy and like it" should do too
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]Sallee

  3. #3
    Member April Rose's Avatar
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    The clothes reaffirm feelings of femininity that I already have.
    I am a vessel of the goddess. Let me express my calling to a feminine life through nurturing love and relatedness.

  4. #4
    Silver Member Micki_Finn's Avatar
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    I do it for the money :P

  5. #5
    Member Julie Slowinski's Avatar
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    As a part-time Princess, what else would I wear?
    Oh! you Pretty Things ... Don't you know you're driving your Mamas and Papas insane ... Let me make it plain ... You gotta make way for the Homo Superior - David Bowie, 1971

    Pinkfest Chicago Sept 24-29, 2019 https://www.crossdressers.com/forums/showthread.php?264693-Pinkfest-Chicago-September-24-29-2019&p=4360644&highlight=#post4360644

  6. #6
    Senior Member Jean 103's Avatar
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    Do people actually ask you that question?

    I can't remember anyone asking me why?

    I have been out for a while and talked to a lot of people. Maybe it is because they assume that I like being the the way I am, and they would be right.

  7. #7
    Platinum Member
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    My honest answer is I don't know why I cross dress or present as a woman. Your list encompasses all the feelings experienced when wearing women's clothing. It really does not answer the big "Why!" Decades ago when my wife and I had "The Talk" initially it did not go well. I uttered something about my feminine side. She blew her top off. Something about "When you can have a baby you can talk about your feminine side." I realize her retort was based on ignorance. She has become educated, especially with all the LGBT rights issues over the years. However, she did have a point. I had to offer her the truth as I know it. "I do not know why I do what I do!" That's it a nutshell.

    It may be easier to understand that some individuals are "born in the wrong body." But, what of a person who feels totally at ease sliding back and forth; presenting as a decent looking guy and as a well groomed mature woman? Perplexing to say the least. Your list has the outward appearances of wearing women's clothing. Along with the outward appearances there is also the adoption of mannerisms. When attired as a woman I sit with my knees together and not splayed apart. When I pick up something off a lower shelf I squat and do not bend over, making sure I do not show my panties or the tops of my stockings. When getting in and out of a car with a dress on I sit and then swivel my body into position. When I sit in a dress I smooth the back of the dress when I sit down so it is not rumbled under by bottom. The male gait is left behind. My pace is slower. The hand gently wisps away a stray hair that's in my face. There is no longer any sexual component to wearing women's clothing. Even when I reflect back to those teenage years when there was a sexual component didn't teenage girls explore their sexuality? It takes a long long time for a man to shed the self loathing and doubts of who he is and is not.

    It's definitely not a hobby. I do agree, I like everything about presenting as a woman. I still don't know why I do what I do.

  8. #8
    Member Brenda Freeman's Avatar
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    I do like how I look and it makes me happy. I have grown my hair out and am looking more like me dressed or not, but when I wear the womens clothes and add make up I am feeling my best. I do not ask why anymore it just works for me.

  9. #9
    Platinum Member kimdl93's Avatar
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    All of those are good answers for why, on a conscious level, any of might choose to present as a woman. If someone is seeking the causal why, its impossible to say. I do not know why presenting as a woman makes me feel good, normal or in-synch....but it does.

    Easy come, easy go;
    Easy left me long ago...

  10. #10
    Platinum Member Teresa's Avatar
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    Carole,
    None of that would happen if something inside wasn't driving it , I was born with a female trait so the question is why do I need to do all the points and more on your list ? It's not enough to say what drives us we need to show how we feel , some say it's not about the clothes but they inform people there is an inner need that has to be expressed .

    Maybe it should be turned round to ask why you hate dressing in male mode , why does it feel wrong to some of us ?

    To me now to dress in male mode is like CDing , I prefer to wear the items on your list because it feels right , I feel comfortable and at ease , my enjoyment now is going out in tbe RW as Teresa .
    The real me ,no going back.

  11. #11
    Carole carhill2mn's Avatar
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    Thanks to all of you for your responses. They are further proof that there are no simple "one size fits all" answers. I agree that there is something inside of us that pushes us to pursue our desires. For many it is a very strong desire as we often take some risky chances. There is also strong evidence that the desires rarely, if ever, go away. Each person has to figure out how to manage their situation.
    Hugs, Carole

  12. #12
    Junior Member Kimberly A.'s Avatar
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    I honestly don't think there is any wrong or right answer for why we crossdress….. We all have our various, different reasons, some are very similar and some are different. For me, I posted why I crossdress, but I do think that perhaps it's who I'm supposed to be. And carhill, like you, the clothes feel very good to me. I've worn pantyhose my entire life, I have experimented with CDing in the past, but never to this extent. And I think now I'm beginning to discover how strong my feminine side is. I have told myself that I am a man, I'm a straight man and I do NOT have a feminine side, but I was lying to myself. And when I do dress, I feel free, I feel more like myself and I feel happier. I'll be honest though, CDing has been a fantasy of mine for a very long time and now, since I've gone out once for a brief period of time fully dressed, I want to do it more and more. The feeling I felt when I stepped out my door dressed as Kimberly, was like I said, very freeing. I now feel like I don't have to hide it from the public eye anymore and I can wear whatever I choose to wear, feel good about it and have fun with it. I love presenting as a woman and I can't WAIT to do it again. I plan on going out of town next weekend, fully dressed, going shopping and probably out to eat. Now granted, I will be by myself but I'm good with that.

  13. #13
    Gold Member Alice Torn's Avatar
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    I am with Stephanie47. I like being a nice looking guy, and being a nice looking lady, and do not totally know why. I do not like ALL clothing designed for women, though. I like only certain classic dresses, skirts, tops, heels, pantyhose, pearls, broaches, earrings, bracelets,wigs, girdles. I do not like thongs at all, or many modern fashions.
    Last edited by Alice Torn; 11-16-2019 at 10:10 PM.
    IT TAKES A REAL DRESS TO WEAR A MAN.

  14. #14
    Member Kelli_cd's Avatar
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    Panties and bras make me feel pretty.

  15. #15
    Princess Candice candykowal's Avatar
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    Call it a mid life crisis but I do enjoy reminiscing about my youth when I lived as a girl for a lot of years.
    So I dress to relive those growing years!
    I was coddled and doe-ted on as a ill premee baby by a Mother whose last child was another boy.
    Hormone therapy over my child years changed my body and my breast grew before most girl of my age.
    It all allowed me to explore my feminine side gradually...with subliminal help.
    My femme wardrobe won out and I started getting counseling to transition.

    So for me, it was how I was raised, but never truly realized.

  16. #16
    Aspiring Shopaholic BTWimRobin's Avatar
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    I don't have any idea why I crossdress. It just feels right.
    - Robin

  17. #17
    Curmudgeon Member donnalee's Avatar
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    Why?
    Why not!
    ALWAYS plan for the worst, then you can be pleasantly surprised if something else happens!

    "The important thing about the bear is not how well she dances, but that she dances at all." - Old Russian Proverb (with a gender change)

  18. #18
    Aspiring Member GretchenM's Avatar
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    I think there are as many reasons as there are people who do this. To me, it is an individualistic thing. That said, it is a behavior and as the behavioral geneticists will tell us, all behavior is rooted in genetics. The question is how much genetics is involved? It appears to me that can range from a lot (Teresa, myself, and many others) but for others the genetic influence is pretty well hidden yet still there. Then there are the subconscious influences which may or may not be strongly influenced by genetics. And then there are those like Candy where it is clearly an organic cause. Which is right? In my opinion, they are all right. The almost unintelligible complexities of gender identity genetics probably involving over 3,500 genes in one way or another creates this incredible diversity. I don't think, under those circumstances, there is anything like a "Normal". There is just variation. But birds of a feather flock together, even if their feathers are different and variable.

    That said, environment also plays a huge role that turns on and turns off various genes or influences the amount that they play in the behavior. Environment is a big modifier of the basic behavior.

    For me, the desire or even need at times comes from something very deep in me which is a sign that the source is, to a large degree, neurological and probably in those half dozen structures in the mid brain that are genetically and/or environmentally configured to operate a bit more like they do in a female. Not completely, but a bit. Gender identity and our sense of self has only minor to moderate links to the far simpler system that defines sex and sexuality. Sense of self is perhaps the most important and fundamental driver of the conscious organism's high degree of awareness of self in the context of the organism's environment. We really know very little about what goes on, but we probably have the tip of the iceberg figured out. Sadly, I don't think we are even down to waterline yet and then there is all of that part of the berg that is below the waterline.

    All that said, it comes down to one thing. For whatever reason we do it, for goodness sake enjoy it. You are unique and a little special, but there is little or nothing wrong with you. The naysayers just don't understand or want to understand the complexity of this behavior, in part, because the gender = sex and visa versa is simple, direct, traditional, and common. Therefore it must be right. Sorry, the science says it ain't that simple.

  19. #19
    Gold Member Alice Torn's Avatar
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    Carole, Great thread. Thank you. I am with you on the things you like. Gretchen, well said. Great post.
    IT TAKES A REAL DRESS TO WEAR A MAN.

  20. #20
    Resident Polymath MarinaTwelve200's Avatar
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    Cross-Dressing is a compulsion people engage in for a variety of reasons, some obvious and others not so. A transsexual or Homosexual may identify with the opposite sex and thus cross dress (although a "crossdresser", proper, is usually considered a heterosexual). There is in some cases a direct or nearly so, "turn on factor" in the Fetish sense for some from the clothing's association with women or even the simple texture of the fabric itself. There is also a Humiliation/Sado-masochistic factor in other cases that turns some on. There is often an "escapist" theme for others--as in "taking a vacation" from one's own self, even if for only a few hours. for either or both the "high" one may get from "tripping taboos" and getting away with it, or to be able to "entirely relax" or "De-stress" as "another person" away from one's own personal responsibilities , or from "manhood" itself.----I likely missed a couple, but as we can see Cross-Dressing is a technique used by many (especially Males) to address a variety of Psychological concerns or induce deeper "relaxation" or "pleasures".

    Of course, some might say " there are as many reasons for crossdressing as there are crossdressers". I disagree, but there are indeed still quite a variety of them AND their combinations. One may start out CDing for one reason, and later find another, even more fun reason, or both.------I started out as a fetish thing in my adolescent years, and now I am an escapist CD who uses it to relax and relieve stress---and also have fun.

  21. #21
    AKA Lexi sometimes_miss's Avatar
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    Dressing in female clothes relieves the GID.
    Some causes of crossdressing you've probably never even considered: My TG biography at:http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/...=1#post1490560
    There's an addendum at post # 82 on that thread, too. It's about a ten minute read.
    Why don't we understand our desire to dress, behave and feel like a girl? Because from childhood, boys are told that the worst possible thing we can be, is a sissy. This feeling is so ingrained into our psyche, that we will suppress any thoughts that connect us to being or wanting to be feminine, even to the point of creating separate personalities to assign those female feelings into.

  22. #22
    Rural T Girl Teri Ray's Avatar
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    While I agree with every feeling Carole expressed in this thread I also agree with many others that I do not understand why I get these feelings. My desire to dress as a woman remains the biggest conundrum of my life. The "why" we desire to dress enfemme is the $64,000 question that gets asked over and over and never becomes clear. Like Carole I now believe that the best we can do is reach a point in our life where the "why I do this" question becomes less significant and we just accept the desire as a part of who we are and accept our desire and stop feeling guilty for it. Not easy to do but I believe the right thing.

    Thanks for this thread. I find it is helpful to hear that I am not alone in this desire and understand that others deal with the same thoughts. This is why I visit this site.
    Teri Ray Rural Idaho Girl.

  23. #23
    Platinum Blonde member Ressie's Avatar
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    I do it for the attention.
    "You're the only one to see the changes you take yourself through", Stevie Wonder

  24. #24
    Senior Member Majella St Gerard's Avatar
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    When anyone asks me why I crossdress, I say because I like to, it makes me feel good. It's my hobby.

  25. #25
    Weirdest woman ever! docrobbysherry's Avatar
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    What else can a 75+ y/o man do besides becoming a 30 something woman that's as excellerating and erotic?
    U can't keep doing the same things over and over and expect to enjoy life to the max. When u try new things, even if they r out of your comfort zone, u may experience new excitement and growth that u never expected.

    Challenge yourself and pursue your passions! When your life clock runs out, you'll have few or NO REGRETS!

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