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Thread: Is she right?

  1. #26
    Life is more fun in heels Genifer Teal's Avatar
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    Forget society and norms. Read it as: she's uncomfortable with you looking like that. Do the right thing based on that.

  2. #27
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    welcome to womanhood. Woman are always that with each other. Even my wife is. In reality I do try to dress my age, and appropriate for what Im doing.

  3. #28
    Senior Member Tracy Irving's Avatar
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    Your wife is of the opinion that you wearing that particular sweater is not a good idea. Maybe she is helping you, maybe it makes her uncomfortable. The motivation doesn't matter. Listen to her.

    When my wife and I are out shopping for clothing for me she has the final say. And, if it is something she would wear (likes a lot), it doesn't go in the cart. Luckily, there is a large variety of women's clothing to choose from and we generally find something we can agree on.

  4. #29
    Exploring NEPA now Cheryl T's Avatar
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    Depends.
    If you have the fugure for it then why not?
    Just make sure you are not deluding yourself. I know I had a few outfits I think look fabulous, but then I take a picture or the wife comments and I see what others see and go "what was I thinking"?
    I don't wear women's clothes, I wear MY clothes !

  5. #30
    Super Moderator char GG's Avatar
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    My guess is that your wife may wonder what your intent is by wearing a sweater that is obviously tight.

    Again, I am guessing that she may be trying to help you. Sometimes SO?s can see the reactions (good,bad, indifferent) behind your back.

  6. #31
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    Angela,
    If you have the figure for it why not wear them , they are your clothes . I have a GG friend who keeps telling me to wear looser clothes , I don't like sloppy sweaters and Tshirts , I guess we had to wear them so much in male mode , at the moment I have the figure so why not , it's a style I prefer .

    Is it a case of your wife overreacting or is it she doesn't have the same figure as you ? The other point is do you tell your wife what she can and can't wear ? Most of us don't sp what is so different for us ?

    To me the small picture looks fine , I don't get it about wearing something tight is only to attract guys , I wear tight fitting Tshirts with a neat cardigan over and slim fit jeans for my painting class , no one thinks I'm trying to pick up a guy .
    Last edited by Teresa; 11-18-2019 at 02:20 PM.

  7. #32
    Silver Member Aunt Kelly's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Majella St Gerard View Post
    I don't go for that "dress your age crap"....
    Not everyone is a fetish dresser, looking to live their school-girl-**** fantasy. Even fewer shoud, for various reasons even attempt it. So referring to advice to the contrary as "crap" strikes me as, well... crap. If a 60-something crossdresser wants to go out wearing pink wig, plaid miniskirt, white thigh hi's and Mary Jane's, more power to him, but let's not pretend that it's anything other than what it is.

  8. #33
    Girliegirl Jillian Faith's Avatar
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    After looking at the picture I think the sweater is too short to wear with leggings. I think it's fine to go with a skirt or jeans. I would look for a tunic length sweater when wearing tights.
    Jill

  9. #34
    Senior Member Jean 103's Avatar
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    Wow,

    I didn't see any mentioned of a side show or pride event

    Did you get that from the outfit shown?

    It's not my taste, but I won't call it fetish dressing.

    I would change your outfit a bit. To a cute top under a longer loose fitting cardigan. I think you would be more in step with current fashion.

  10. #35
    Silver Member Pumped's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Aunt Kelly View Post
    Not everyone is a fetish dresser, looking to live their school-girl-**** fantasy. Even fewer shoud, for various reasons even attempt it. So referring to advice to the contrary as "crap" strikes me as, well... crap. If a 60-something crossdresser wants to go out wearing pink wig, plaid miniskirt, white thigh hi's and Mary Jane's, more power to him, but let's not pretend that it's anything other than what it is.
    There is a fairly large grey area between wearing pink wig and a school girl skirt in public and something short, tight and in style. Most women I see in their later years think tennis shoes, jeans and a sweat shirt is high fashion.

    If you have the body for it wear it!

  11. #36
    Another fine dress AngelaYVR's Avatar
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    The area is not even grey. If the only options are embarrassing school girl outfit and dowdy old lady clothes somebody needs to get out more.

  12. #37
    Female Illusionist! docrobbysherry's Avatar
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    Angela, thanks for posting a pic of the actual outfit so we can comment on realty. Not just shooting in the dark!

    I don't live anywhere near NY. Out west, women don't go out in tites often. But, when they do they wear a skirt or shorts, too.

    I don't see any issue with your outfit being too tite. But, I rarely see women with no hips sporting breasts that big and perky! Maybe if u switched to a smaller size forms or added some hip/butt pads you'd look more presentable to your SO?
    U can't keep doing the same things over and over and expect to enjoy life to the max. When u try new things, even if they r out of your comfort zone, u may experience new excitement and growth that u never expected.

    Challenge yourself and pursue your passions! When your life clock runs out, you'll have few or NO REGRETS!

  13. #38
    Gold Member Sometimes Steffi's Avatar
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    Angela

    My wife doesn't want to see me dressed, so she can't object to what I wear. I always dress younger than my age, but I think that I can get away with it.

    I'm about your age (66) and I'm 5'9" and 150 lbs. I think that's pretty respectable.

    Last Saturday, I felt like wearing a black, faux-leather mini skirt, with boots, cable knit tights and a pink fuzzy top. The first comment I got was from a GG who looked older than me but was probably younger than me. Sh said, "I wish that I could still wear something like that."

    I got another comment later that day from a 20 something GG. she said, "That skirt looks wonderful on you."

    Is a faux leather mini skirt too young for me? By a unanimous vote of 2 - 0, the answer is "No."

    Do want makes you feel good. i do.
    Hi, I'm Steffi and I'm a crossdresser... And I accept and celebrate both sides of me. Or, maybe I'm gender fluid.

  14. #39
    Silver Member Majella St Gerard's Avatar
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    I say, if you look good in it wear it. Now some people obviously have no style, you can't help that. I wear things that are flattering to my figure and appropriate for the venue I will be in.
    Wearing a skintight dress with a big belly is not my style.
    Age has nothing to do with it.
    Some people want to look like grandma, not me.
    Some people cover their body in a latex body suit and a mask.
    Rant over.

  15. #40
    GG ReineD's Avatar
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    I have the same attitude as your wife!

    Even if a woman near or past retirement age is fortunate enough to have the same body as a 25-yr-old in good shape (which is rare), I think it looks odd for her to dress the same way she would in her younger, child-bearing years, when she would be fully justified in dressing to attract a male. You don't want to give the impression you are a faded beauty queen, trying too hard to hang on to youth. Besides, younger men wouldn't look twice at a retirement age woman no matter how she is dressed. I admire women who age gracefully. They know and are proud of who they are and what they've learned and accomplished in life and they no longer feel the need to overdo the makeup and show off the wares as if they are actively trying to seduce men.

    I like to illustrate my points with images if I can and so I have in mind two examples from films, of faded older women trying to look young - and they look quite tragic. There is way too much contrast in how they try to appear and their actual age, and the combination is jarring. You might even say they make laughing stocks of themselves. In the movie Zorba The Greek (one of my favorite movies of all time), there is an aging actress Madame Hortense, played by Lila Kedrova. And then in Whatever Happened to Baby Jane, there is another aging star, Baby Jane (played by Bette Davis).

    I know that my examples are characters in older, black and white movies, but in my opinion, any older woman wearing snug sweaters produces a similar effect, depending on how snug is the sweater. If your wife said something then it might be too snug. Or maybe not long enough. She knows.

    Quote Originally Posted by Tracii G View Post
    I will go out on a limb here maybe your wife knows it looks good on you and doesn't want you to get attention hence the suggestion to wear something baggy.
    When your wife tells you something there is most always an ulterior motive in what she says.
    I don't know if you two were planning on having a girls night out in public or something but most women want to be the center of attention if other women are present.
    OMG Tracii, you must think we are all petty, jealous creatures! I have tons of female friends and not one of us want to be the center of attention, ever, especially in the age group we're talking about here. Granted, in a group of very young women who are all trying to attract men, there might be some competition. Or if a woman's marriage is not secure and she's at a party, worrying that her husband might be attracted to another woman, then she might try her best to be more attractive than the other woman. But I don't think this is Angela's wife's situation?

    Quote Originally Posted by AngelaYVR View Post
    Personally, I think leggings shouldn?t even exist
    LOL I agree, but that's because a lot of people don't know how to wear leggings AND be stylish, which necessitates knowing how to balance things properly. The idea is to show off one thing at a time, in this case, legs. Not legs and the butt and boobs all at once. This is way too much. Leggings can look great in the fall with tall boots if the sweater is long enough, and IMO they look especially stylish with a big scarf. I found an article on this with lots of pictures.

    https://www.brightontheday.com/sweat...with-leggings/
    Last edited by ReineD; 11-19-2019 at 05:24 AM. Reason: Added last response
    Reine

  16. #41
    Member CayleeMarie's Avatar
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    Wow so many observations... so here?s my two cents worth too. Here?s what works for my wife and me. We are both on the top side of 50 and skinny jeans leggings, leggings, form fitting tops work for us. She has, over the last 14 months, lost a lot of weight and no longer wants to hide the ?fat girl? that she used to be. When shopping for me, she usually encourages clothes that are more form fitting.

    As noted by others when wearing leggings, the top should generally cover at least most of the butt more like a tunic top. That sweater would be fine with a pair of skinny jeans though.

    Keep in mind too, that while she may be okay with your dressing, subconsciously few women want to be upstaged by their hotter husbands. Ultimately you have to find what works for you in the context of your relationship. Leggings and form fitting sweaters and tops are less age restrictive if you have the figure for it.

  17. #42
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    Hi Angela , Discretion is the better part of Valor. >Orchid .oOOo.
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  18. #43
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    The fact that your wife is accepting of your affinity for going out dressed is a tell tale sign that she is someone you should listen to. Just because you feel 18 doesn't mean you are. What you are is an incredibly fortunate person to have an understanding wife.

  19. #44
    Silver Member Aunt Kelly's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by AngelaYVR View Post
    The area is not even grey. If the only options are embarrassing school girl outfit and dowdy old lady clothes somebody needs to get out more.
    It's actually nothing but gray. If you want to wear that Lolita look to the mailbox or the mall, fine. Just be realistic enough to own it... and the ridicule that is likely to follow.
    I am an old lady, but no one would describe my wardrobe as dowdy, nor do I draw undue attention to myself. You know. Kinda like almost every other woman my age. We wouldn't be caught dead wearing that schoolgirl outfit in public, but calling us dowdy borders on ridiculous.

  20. #45
    Senior Member Angela Marie's Avatar
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    I want to thank everyone for their comments. It did help crystalize my decision. I think I am going to tone it down a bit; perhaps with leggings and a longer sweater.

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