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Thread: was I a hypocrite?

  1. #26
    Senior Member April Rose's Avatar
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    I think it would be a mistake to come out due to altruism. Issues like ours are personal enough that a person is entitled to keep their secrets unless they NEED to tell them. In the United states, it is a constitutional right. The 4th amendment provides for us to be secure in our persons.
    I am a vessel of the goddess. Let me express my calling to a feminine life through nurturing love and relatedness.

  2. #27
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    Aunt Kelly ,
    No it's not about me but you won't let that go , as I keep saying my point is many of the fears are in our heads not in reality , that doesn't just apply to me , many of the postings hear echo that view . Revealing the truth in reality is often not as bad as we imagine , again is it so wrong to help others and offer encouragement if they have doubts .

    Please stop using these terms when they often relate to some of your comments and replies , this thread mentions hypocrite don't fall into the same trap yourself .
    Last edited by Teresa; 11-20-2019 at 11:14 AM.

  3. #28
    Silver Member Aunt Kelly's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Teresa View Post
    Aunt Kelly ,
    No it's not about me but you won't let that go...
    Apparently, it is. Let's review...
    Is it really necessary to consider protecting ourselves no matter what label we choose to use , the fear is often ill founded...
    Not only is the discussion not about lablels, at all, you are dead wrong about it not being necessary for some people to "protect themselves". Not everyone is able to be "nearly full time" in their "new home town", and it is completely unhelpful to compare them to yourself as you did... in the very same sentence.
    ...I really haven't had a problem with revealing the whole truth...
    Jacques is not a hypocrite. He is under no obligation whatsoever to be like you, or me, or anyone else here.
    Calling bigotry an "opinion" is like calling arsenic a "flavor".

  4. #29
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    If one is a private dresser (not fulltime), it is best to leave your crossdressing out of the workplace. It won't get you any additional benefits, but could be used against you in some form or another.

    Call me really cynical, but voluntary accommodations a business makes for various groups is ultimately done in the company's own interests. There are probably not many non-transitioning crossdressers among their employees or desired employee pools. There are also no diversity quotas or other external pressure to hire crossdressers. Telling them you dress outside of work would have not convinced them to do anything special for crossdressers, and could open you up to problems (you know, the old saying that what you don't say can't hurt you.)
    Last edited by Vickie_CDTV; 11-23-2019 at 06:43 PM.

  5. #30
    Member DeeDeeB's Avatar
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    First of all, I applaud you for your career helping to enhance equality at your workplace, as well as your employers for supporting that effort. I tried by best to level the field at my former employment with some success but was generally at odds with management in my efforts. As to hypocrisy for not coming out, I don't think so. Maybe you could have come out since you worked in an accepting environment, but if you weren't ready then the timing probably wasn't right for you. Anyhow, best not to dwell on what might have been and go forward to what will be.
    Best,
    Deandra

  6. #31
    Aspiring Member jacques's Avatar
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    hello all,
    many thanks for all your kind comments,
    luv J

  7. #32
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    The short answer is "no." You were not a hypocrite. The question that needs to be answered is whether or not you refused to act upon a legitimate grievance another person may have had and needed to be addressed. I believe there is a difference between men and women transitioning and a man who is a cross dresser. What could you have done that you did not do for male to female cross dressers? Would there have been a "Cross Dressing Awareness Month?" My state (Washington State) has a law covering "gender expression" which is believed to cover cross dressers from discrimination, yet, I have not read any news reports of issues with men wearing women's clothing in the work place if it was not covered by a male transitioning to a woman. I agree with the vast majority that there would have been nothing gained to "out" yourself if there was no compelling to do so. Just list all the negative consequences of doing so.

  8. #33
    Aspiring Member jacques's Avatar
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    hello Stephanie,
    I think that if there had been a "crossdressing awareness day" at work I would have liked to take part or even supported a Trans Acceptance Day because it would hopefully help others, not to say "look at me".
    I did volunteer to come out about my unseen disability by being videoed talking about it - the project was dropped though.
    luv J

  9. #34
    Member BettyMorgan's Avatar
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    There are two ways to look at this.

    1. You could have come out in order to assist other people to come out. You could have created an environment for non-binary, trans people, etc to feel more safe to come out at work knowing they'd have your support. Leading by example, in a way.
    2. You were an ally to so many people by advocating for their needs in the workplace. Coming out as a specifically as a crossdresser did not in any way deter from that advocacy! Don't for a minute think you failed anyone or were hypocritical because from your work you did as an equality and diversity rep, you represented marginalized groups. No one can't ask for more. Thank you for contributing to a positive, inclusive environment.
    They/Them
    I love dressing as a woman.

  10. #35
    New Member Sarah Handy's Avatar
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    Depending I want to come out but fear of what people might think or say. You did help all of us with what you did so I would say no big deal that you did not come out.

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