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Thread: A Crosssdresser Salsa Dancer?

  1. #1
    Junior Member Lovely Rose's Avatar
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    A Crosssdresser Salsa Dancer?

    Hello everyone

    It's been a really long time since I posted here, I miss expressing!

    For past 14 months I've been learning to dance Salsa. As some of you may know, Salsa is a partner dance; there is a leader (Typically the male) and a follower (Typically the female). I am learning Salsa as a leader. I really wish I could wear a sexy dress and attend those weekly social dance parties as Rose, but this is impossible.

    In my community, crossdressing and changing the default gender roles is a taboo and is very much frowned upon. So I have zero chance to crossdress and enjoy my hobby the way I love.

    I do hope one day I will live in an accepting community where I can be Rose and re-learn Salsa as a follower. I really do.

    My best wishes to you all
    Something that feels so right can't be wrong. No matter what others may think.

  2. #2
    Member LydiaL's Avatar
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    Rose, hope you realize your dream someday.

    I had at one time fantasized about presenting as a lady flamenco dancer. Not going to happen now, could not fit into one of those skinny waist-ed dresses! And the legs and ankle would never hold up to the "stomping".

  3. #3
    Aspiring Member Eemz's Avatar
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    I hear ya. I would looove to do that too. I took Lindy Hop lessons as lead once upon a time with a (now) ex, and I guess I could still lead as a woman but I'd really love to learn the follow part.

    A friend is very into it and she said her teacher used to teach the follow part to (usually gay) men but she had to stop because the "regular" men kept dropping out because they were already so paranoid people would think they were "gay" for taking dance lessons that if anyone heard there were "gays" dancing the women's part they would never live it down. It was totally a business decision in the end for her, she said I can't keep the place going with no male leads, the women will just go elsewhere.

  4. #4
    Seňora Member Robertacd's Avatar
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    My wife and I took Swing Dancing lessons years ago... But they didn't take

    It was doomed to fail as I am rhythm impaired and she can't be lead...

    We are going to try again one of these days but both of us in dresses and she will be leading.

  5. #5
    Senior Member Jean 103's Avatar
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    Hope that you get your wish someday.

    I wish I could dance like that. I know it would be no problem for me to take lessons if I wanted. It's just I have like two left feet. There is just no way I could learn more or less execute all those steps, oh and backwards?

    Oh in heels too.

    Either way it's great that you are taking lessons, good for you.
    Last edited by Jean 103; 11-21-2019 at 12:51 AM.

  6. #6
    Weirdest woman ever! docrobbysherry's Avatar
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    Many of us have the same fantasy, Rose!

    I hope someday u find your dancing prince, too!
    P1160528 (640x639).jpg
    U can't keep doing the same things over and over and expect to enjoy life to the max. When u try new things, even if they r out of your comfort zone, u may experience new excitement and growth that u never expected.

    Challenge yourself and pursue your passions! When your life clock runs out, you'll have few or NO REGRETS!

  7. #7
    Brass Member Patience's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lovely Rose View Post
    It's been a really long time since I posted here, I miss expressing!
    Breast pump for the lady...

    Seriously, I'm reminded of a film I think I saw on YouTube about a man who loved to crossdress as, if memory serves, a tango dancer. A lady neighbor from across the street finds out his secret and comes to his home dressed as a man and they dance the tango as their preseted genders. And there were some dinosaurs, but I may be remembering that part wrong.

    Now I want to see it again. I’ll post it if I find it.
    ...and though she feels as if she is in a play, she is anyway...

  8. #8
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    I hope you are able to realize your dream of being a follower, in any clothing by choices you choose.

    I have always wanted to learn to dance salsa, Latin, ballroom, swing... I have always wanted to be the leader though. Hoping my SO get out there to learn in the next few months.
    ---

    Sasha

  9. #9
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    You actually gave a solution to your problem, but it involves hard work. Doesn?t everything worthwhile? I travel far enough away to make encountering someone from my small community unlikely. I have danced the female part in ethnic female clothing, rhythm challenged as I am, with a male partner in appropriate ethnic clothing, in a distant city. My biggest problems are paying for it and, if combined with business travel, packing the clothing and timing it well.

    I just returned from a city 650 km away. It cost about 800 US dollars total to make the trip. I timed it for a public ethnic celebration with lots of dancing, music, and good food. My Bavarian nationality exactly matches the ethnic nationality of the Oktoberfest celebration, so looking the femme part comes more easily.

    I have not tried dance clubs yet, but one of my employees has. He is particularly good at this. He knows all the dance clubs within several hundred km and almost effortlessly, he finds great opportunities in a new city. Your dream is possible but realizing it will be expensive hard work. For me, it is worth it.

  10. #10
    Silver Member Sometimes Steffi's Avatar
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    I've actually taken a belly dancing class en homme.
    Hi, I'm Steffi and I'm a crossdresser... And I accept and celebrate both sides of me. Or, maybe I'm gender fluid.

    Gender fluid (adj.) - Describes a person whose gender identity is not fixed. A person who is gender fluid may always feel like a mix of the two traditional genders, but may feel [more] like one gender some days, and [more like] another gender other days.

    Ref: https://www.lgbthealtheducation.org/wp-content/uploads/LGBT-Glossary_March2016.pdf

  11. #11
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sometimes Steffi View Post
    I've actually taken a belly dancing class en homme.
    How did that go? Will you continue?

  12. #12
    Brass Member Patience's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sometimes Steffi View Post
    I've actually taken a belly dancing class en homme.
    Wouldn’t the term en homme be for crossdressing females presenting as male, though?

    Still searching for that video...
    ...and though she feels as if she is in a play, she is anyway...

  13. #13
    Silver Member Sometimes Steffi's Avatar
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    I took a couple of belly dance classes surreptitiously at a local community center, I say surreptitiously, because my wife thought I was at my regular yoga class. I say en homme, because I just went in sweats for the class rather than a traditional belly dance costume, although I sometimes borrowed a "hip skirt" with coins from one of the GGs

    The first time there was about 10 GGs plus me; the second time, there was a second guy.

    I never realized why it was called belly dancing until I took the class. The basic technique is to undulate your hips without moving your torso or your legs. It's quite a core workout. There are also a lot of asymmetric moves where one arm goes up and the other arm goes down, kind of like patting your head with one hand and rubbing your belly with the other.

    I hd a lot of fun. Some GGs barely talked to me and others were kind of interested in guy who wanted to belly dance.

    I stopped going because the schedule changed and I couldn't make the class.

    There was also a time when I asked about taking hulu dances. The instructor told me that the boy dance moves were different from the girl moves, and the class was for the girl moves only. I didn't have the muffins to tell her that I wanted to learn the girl moves.
    Hi, I'm Steffi and I'm a crossdresser... And I accept and celebrate both sides of me. Or, maybe I'm gender fluid.

    Gender fluid (adj.) - Describes a person whose gender identity is not fixed. A person who is gender fluid may always feel like a mix of the two traditional genders, but may feel [more] like one gender some days, and [more like] another gender other days.

    Ref: https://www.lgbthealtheducation.org/wp-content/uploads/LGBT-Glossary_March2016.pdf

  14. #14
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    Rose, this will be a long detailed answer because dancing (along with martial arts) is my main hobby and I spend a lot of money, time, and effort because I take it seriously. Hopefully you'll read through the whole thing.

    Some background first. I have been dancing Salsa for over 15 years because it was the first dance I learned formally. The first 2 years I danced mainly as a leader. After that, I started learning both leader and follower roles. In the first few years, I would go out and dance Salsa socially (not just lessons but at a club) at least once, and sometimes even three times, a week. However, this was always in male mode and I never followed. I would say it took at least 5 years before I went to the clubs as a female and danced in the follower's role. I still danced (and continue to do so) with woman as a leader because I enjoy doing both. I have also led men who wanted to follow, although this is quite rare.

    When I went to the clubs as a girl it was actually pretty annoying because unless I went with friends or recognized people there I would have to wait a while before being asked to dance. Once everyone saw me dance and realized that I am a high-level dancer I would then be asked by guys at least three or four times in a row after that. This pattern almost always plays out at clubs and it frankly got irritating. I got tired of having to "prove" myself everytime before being asked to dance as a follower by a guy. Even though people are more enlightened nowadays, partner dancing is still pretty gendered (even in the progressive Bay Area) and guys are leary of dancing with the trans girl.

    Nowadays, I don't dance Salsa that often because I prefer to dance other styles. If I do actually go out Salsa dancing it will be at a Salsa social which is different from the clubs. The Salsa socials always have the highest level dancers and people there just want to dance, not hookup. I definitely get asked to dance more at these.

    Since learning Salsa I have branched out to many other partner and solo dance forms. I lean more towards the trans rather than CD side of the spectrum so I always take classes and dance socially dressed as a female. No matter what style of dance it is I always learn both roles.

    My advice to you (if you really want to do this) is to take learning the follower's role seriously. Don't have the mindset of wanting to dance Salsa like a girl. Instead, learn to actually follow and keep the idea of gender out of it in the beginning. If you jump straight into things like hand styling without having a strong fundamental skills you are going to look like an idiot. You would be doing the dance equivalent of just playing dress up. Frankly, don't try to live this out as just a fantasy because that is obnoxious. The reason I say this so harshly is because I dance a lot and I am pointing out bluntly how people are going to react. Although I never refuse anyone a dance if they ask (except if they have acted like a jerk to me before) I do not usually like dancing with a MIAD or others who present non-binary. The reason why is they are usually HORRIBLE dancers. They don't actually follow and just end up doing their own thing because they think they are free spirits or whatever. I can tell they don't take any formal dance classes and it's an awful experience dancing with them.

    If you go out to Salsa clubs as a female you really need to be a solid dancer. You will be judged a lot more harshly because guys don't want to dance with the "tranny". If someone is brave enough to give you a chance and you dance badly then everyone will be avoiding you completely and will even make sure they are not standing near you for the rest of the night because they are afraid you might ask them to lead you. Even GGs who are terrible dancers will likely be asked again because drunk guys will be trying to hit on her.

    I have to reiterate again that if you want to live this out as just some fantasy....then't don't! Take it seriously and try to do this because you want to actually become a good follower. Guys definitely don't want to be involved in some CDs "icky" dream scenario. Save that for some photoshoot. Or go out to a club where people are just dancing unstructured without partners if you just want to experience dancing as a girl.

    Rose, I was going to end this post with some specific dance advice and how to approach classes but I don't know if you read through this reply or not. If you want me to, let me know.

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