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Thread: Question!

  1. #1
    Gold Member Lana Mae's Avatar
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    Question!

    Asked my son how he and his wife would deal with the grandchildren if they came here and I was dressed as Lana Mae! He said they would deal with it when it happened and that they try to be honest and open with their kids! (He also said it was something he learned from his parents! I noted, humbly!) What are your feelings on this? Come on! No answer is wrong! Hugs Lana Mae
    Life is worth living!
    "Foxy lady! You look so good!!" Jimi Hendrix

  2. #2
    Super Moderator Jeri Ann's Avatar
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    It sounds like you did a good job raising your son.

    Unless you plan to continue going back and forth, there is only one option if you are truly Lana Mae.

    Making a big deal out of it would seem to communicate that there is something wrong with you or what you do.

    Open, honest, positive, matter of fact is the way it should go IMHO.

    It will be ok.

  3. #3
    Isn't Life Grand? AllieSF's Avatar
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    Jeri said it perfectly.. You be and do you!

  4. #4
    Member Dorit's Avatar
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    My experience with grandchildren is that it is extremely easy for them when they are young. As Jeri Ann said, you be you and they will naturally accept you if they are not being taught otherwise or picking up negativity from their parents. By the way, I have 10 grandchildren so I have a bit of experience with this!

  5. #5
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    My daughter told my two young grandsons and showed them a picture of me as Natalie before they saw me in person. They thought that is was great and have been telling everyone that their grandad is a girl!
    Mine were pretty blas? about the whole thing, but the younger one has complimented my nails 😊

  6. #6
    Call me Pam pamela7's Avatar
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    round here it is no big deal, my kids accept me, so do their partners, and if they have kids, i'll just be a normal part of their life. if this trend continues, eventually there will be no forum need, for we and society more widely will have done our jobs. xx
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dJFyz73MRcg
    I used to believe this, now I'm in the company of many tiggers. A tigger does not wonder why she is a tigger, she just is a tigger.

    thanks to krististeph: tigger = TG'er .. T-I-GG-er

  7. #7
    Little Mrs. Snarky! Nadine Spirit's Avatar
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    I have no children - but my sister's kids found out about me being transgender when they were about 10 and 4. My sister has had open discussions with them about who I am since I opened up to her about 2 years ago. Since then they have been nothing but fabulous!

  8. #8
    Gold Member Lana Mae's Avatar
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    Jeri Ann: That is mostly how I felt about it!
    Allie: I am me every day! LOL
    Dorit: Thanks for sharing that!
    Natalie: That reminds me, need to do my nails again! LOL
    Pamela: I wish it would be so but I would miss all of you!
    Nadine: Mine are 5 and 1 years old!
    A cute aside: On our visit, my daughter was taking pictures of my grandson at a park! The park had boards with a painted on dragon, knight and princess and my grandson posed for all of them without hesitation! (Visiting as it was my grandson's birthday!)
    Thanks so much ladies for your advise and sharing your experiences!
    Hugs Lana Mae
    Life is worth living!
    "Foxy lady! You look so good!!" Jimi Hendrix

  9. #9
    Platinum Member Teresa's Avatar
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    Lana,
    I have feet in two camps , my daughter and her famliy fully accept me , in fact I've been invited for Xmas as Teresa so it will be the second year I've spent Xmas with them .

    My son and his famliy choose not to see me . My feelings are my son is taking the easy route and letting his wife and my wife dictate those terms to him , at some point I would love to get a one-one meeting to discover what he honestly feels . Time will tell so I'm just sitting back to see how it pans out , my feelings are my two young grandsons will come across TG issues at school first hand so I'll let others explain that one to them .

    Sorry to recall a funny story but I was meeting up with my daughter so was buying provisions in the supermarket , it was father's day. While waiting at the meat counter for some ham to be sliced my mobile phone rang , it was my son asking if I was decently dressed because he was only ten minutes away with my present . So while on the phone I leant over and asked the salesgirl if I was decently dressed ? She smiled and replied you look decent enough to me , my son heard the conversation and told me I know what he meant . In ten minutes I couldn't have travelled home and changed to meet them so he chose to leave the present on the doorstep , my wife was furious with me, she said I did it deliberately to avoid them , my only question was , " who was avoiding who ?? "

    My feelings are it will happen in good time , I'm not going to change now , I don't see much of my son and grandsons anyway , with or without the TG issues , he only rings when he wants to borrow my tools . I do joke with him at times that one day he will inherit all of them so at somepoint I will stack them all neatly on his front doorstep when I've finally done with them all .

    Lana , I'm sure you're getting to the point as I have when you step back and scratch your head and ask , " Where's the problem ?"
    The real me ,no going back.

  10. #10
    Aspiring Member Eemz's Avatar
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    My youngest brother's sons are 8 and 10 so I talked to the parents and essentially said this is where my life is, but I will totally leave it to you to decide how and when to introduce the lads to the new world order. In the end they met me at a family celebration, I think some other nephew's 21st birthday. It was perfect because the focus was so not on me, it was a noisy party, and I could see them watching the adults for a lead in how to handle this new thing. The adults were well used to me by now and paying no attention to me at all, so after a few minutes I could see the lads decide, ok, this is clearly ok then. And that was that.

  11. #11
    Platinum Member Teresa's Avatar
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    Eemz,
    Family celebrations are the the tricky one , the last biggy for me was my mother's 90th birthday most of them knew my situation but I had to do it in male mode , I feel I must respect her wishes on only wanting to see the son she gave birth to ( her words not mine ) . The twist was some who know and have seen me as Teresa hardly spoke to me , one GG said she felt too upset knowing I was suffering inside the others now prefer not to see me in male mode . I only expected lack of acceptance but not this situation where they prefer the female me .

    I'm not complaining however the whole situation is better than I expected , no one said it was going to be perfect .

    Pamela,
    I guess that's the final outcome , the forum has done it's job like others they move on .
    Last edited by Teresa; 11-27-2019 at 03:19 PM.
    The real me ,no going back.

  12. #12
    happy to be her Sarah Charles's Avatar
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    My kids have all seen me presenting as Sarah and have had discussions with their older kids. Each of them have assured me that I'm welcome to be myself around them and their kids anytime. I'm not quite ready to go full time, but if I get on my tip toes there is something on the horizon that looks like that moment. It seems I'm the only one concerned about how the grands will respond, but it's nice to know going forward that it's something their parents don't believe will be a problem for them and shouldn't be one for me.
    Sarah
    Being transgender isn't a lifestyle choice. How you deal with it is.
    http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100001872677630

  13. #13
    Member Anne K's Avatar
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    Lana Mae, in many ways, it is a far different world than what we grew up in. In my most of my life, there wasn't even words or dialogue about our journey. I suspect most of us flew under the radar confused, not really comprehending how we felt. My daughter (30yo) works at an after school program in a Boston suburb. One of the instructors is a FtM trans and they have one young student who is clearly a FtM trans. They are treated with respect and love. Frankly, it's no big deal to the kids or the other teachers. My daughter was telling me that the teachers educate the kids, not scold and punish them. So, I believe that under the guidance of your children, your grandchildren will accept you and one day admire you for your courage. Especially, if they see you as a role model for their transition! You never know.....

  14. #14
    Aspiring Member Eemz's Avatar
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    I have several nieces & nephews in their teens and 20s and they and all of their friends are totally fine with the whole thing. They don't understand why all those "old people" are making such a big deal of it.

  15. #15
    Silver Member Aunt Kelly's Avatar
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    Their response tells me all I need to know, that you are accepted and loved by your family, and they know y'all will find a way.😊

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