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Thread: Purging

  1. #1
    Gold Member Crissy 107's Avatar
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    Aug 2018
    Maryland, USA


    Have you ever purged or not? I have purged at least twice but that was before sites like this, what a waist of some good things not to mention the money involved.

  2. #2
    3dxchat User JuliaGirl's Avatar
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    Aug 2019
    Southern Ontario
    Purged several times during the past 40+ years . Stopped purging a decade or more ago though .. waste of money, only so much room as a closeted dresser to safely store things, and finally fully happily accepting that I am who I am.
    Last edited by JuliaGirl; 12-01-2019 at 11:14 PM.
    Closeted for 45 years, so please take any advice I might offer with a massive dose of reality.
    Julia xo

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Apr 2011
    Crissy, I have purged too often. I so regret it. My new strategy is...put it in storage. Ihe urge goes away but it always comes back
    Last edited by Kendra Sue; 12-02-2019 at 12:38 PM.

  4. #4
    Member Kimberly A.'s Avatar
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    Nov 2019
    Kosciusko, MS
    Julia, I can totally relate..... About being a closet CDer and only having so much room to hide the feminine stuff. See, I'm an over-the-road truck driver, my dad lives not too far from me and while I'm gone, especially during the winter, he'll drop by my house to check on things and turn on the heaters for me. I gave him a key to my house a while back. Now, while I do go out in public dressed, my family doesn't have a clue that I'm a CDer and if I have it my way, they'll NEVER know. If they found out, especially my dad being as judgmental and bigoted as he is, he would call me that dreaded "F" word, (I won't repeat it here) and he may even disown me..... Anyway, like I said I can relate.
    I may be crazy, but I'm BURIED in your memory!

  5. #5
    Sort of a n00b Pixie_94's Avatar
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    Aug 2017
    Costa Rica
    At least 3 times and I'm only 25.

  6. #6
    I accept myself as is Gillian Gigs's Avatar
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    Feb 2011
    Central Alberta, Canada
    I have purged more than once, I don't remember how many times. The last time was in the spring of 2001, and within 6 months, I was on the way to replacing the purged items. I swore that I would never purge again, if not for any other reason than the money wasted. Even my wife has admonished me for the waste of money spent. Now it's easy to become a packrat, not throwing anything out. For me purging was one of the signs of me not accepting myself.
    I like myself, regardless of the packaging that I may come in! It's what is on the inside of the package that counts!

  7. #7
    Member CayleeMarie's Avatar
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    Oct 2019
    Ruralish, N Georgia
    Me too, me too! I would guess that I have purged maybe 5 or 6 times. What a terrible waste of money and ridding myself of some things I wish I still had. Really I think that the worst part of the purging nightmare was the desperate emotional state that I was in when I purged thinking that it would make everything better. Fortunately I have the love and understanding of an amazing wife who accepts this part of me and has forbidden me to purge like that without talking it through with her first. Also, I have a much greater sense of self acceptance now too... I fully embrace that aspect of myself without shame.

  8. #8
    Silver Member
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    May 2016
    Yes I have, the most recent time being about ten years ago. It wasn't due to self loathing or a lack of self acceptance though. At that time I had met someone (a wonderful woman who I eventually married) and I felt no need to dress so I thought I was "over" the crossdressing thing. Since I no longer had any need for any of those things I got rid of them. I didn't understand that crossdressing is a lifelong journey. I know better now and the only way I'll get rid of any of my stuff now is if something no longer fits or I don't like the style anymore.

  9. #9
    Junior Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2011
    Purged many of times, until I came came to the realization that I could not stop, and acceptance of myself as such, then no more purging.
    Now more just getting rid of clothes I don't wear very often. As closeted myself, I intermix my clothes in the closet as best I can, so nothing really stands out.

  10. #10
    Aspiring Member GretchenM's Avatar
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    Dec 2016
    Denver, Colorado
    Crissy, I never really had all that much stuff or that much invested. Yet I purged. For the most part it was an act of self disgust. Common back in my younger years when I denied it and yet couldn't actually stop it for that long. I wanted nothing to do with. Kind of symbolic as well - throwing away your old self with a desire to be a new person without this trait. Didn't work; rarely does. Never again. If I get to that point I will pack it up and store it away in a corner of the basement.

    I suspect most of us go through these periods where that part of us seems to be much more of a burden than it is worth. And I suspect from a psychological point of view there are a lot of different reasons. Sometimes that part of us just up and "leaves." Maybe self disgust; maybe no more supportive feelings from inside; maybe a whole bunch of things.

    We like to think that as conscious beings we are in control and we are aware of every decision that we seem to make. But consciousness is just the tip of the iceberg - it is the final result of all the complex things that go on in the subconscious mind. Decisions are actually made there and a memo is sent to the conscious brain regarding what it is supposed to implement based on the decision. As the neuroscientists say, "There is no such thing as a conscious decision." Everything is decided after millions of calculations are performed in various parts of the brain. The conscious mind is the last to find out. The mystery really is a question of how does the brain do that? Nobody knows the answer to that.

    That said, the conscious brain can influence the subconscious with messages as to what the preferences are with regard to its point of view. Sometimes, it appears that those preferences are incorporated in the subconscious thinking and what comes back as the decision includes those preferences. The subconscious brain is not always very rational like the conscious brain, so some arguments can arise that we experience as indecision. A good approach to dealing with that is set it all aside and let your brain work it out when it isn't doing a whole lot of other things - like when you are asleep. Thus, perhaps the final decision might appear in a dream, but it may be muddied with other memory sorting things the brain is doing. Dreams that are remembered might be symbolic representations of important decisions that are just not stated very clearly.

    My advice? When the purge urge hits, store it, don't discard anything. Discarding it all may actually work to provide a void that is refilled with the same feelings that cause a return of the behavior. Purging is often a highly emotional action and that is remembered. To regain stability the feelings and need may return later. Nobody really knows how all this works. The brain knows though; it is just not telling our consciousness how it does what it does. Why would it hide the total truth? Maybe it is too complex for our conscious mind to understand - after all that is the newest part of the brain and, in terms of evolution, is still kind of experimental.

  11. #11
    Miss Judy Judy-Somthing's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2015
    I regret purging some of the items I loved.
    "This is ME" I am not CRAZY, I'm just a GUY who likes dresses!
    Since allot of men dress up in woman's clothing that makes it a manly thing to do!
    Much more fun than fishing.
    I do construction like house building and I love CD-ing, what's the difference?

  12. #12
    Aspiring Member
    Join Date
    Apr 2016
    I have only purged once. It was 15 years ago when I got married and vowed never to dress again (that work out, not). If I purge again it will be to make room for new stuff.

  13. #13
    Banned Spammer
    Join Date
    Aug 2008
    Between here and there but mostly here close to the donuts.
    Only to get rid of stuff I don't wear anymore to free up room in my closets.

  14. #14
    Girliegirl Jillian Faith's Avatar
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    May 2010
    I purged once while going thru a bad divorce now I'm with Traci G I...Only to get rid of stuff I don't wear anymore to free up room in my closets.

  15. #15
    Aspiring Member
    Join Date
    Mar 2005
    Sad to say : Yes, I have purged and I've regretted doing so.

    Before I met my g/f (now wife), I had an awesome collection of women's clothing. From vintage swimsuits to 80's style aerobic type wear, all gone. One of my favourite swimsuits back then was a neon coloured u back zippered front suit. Unfortunately, it has been so many years I cannot remember the brand name of that suit so I have no way of even looking it up online. I also miss the aerobic type wear too, spandex body suits and leggings. Even though those can be found now, because it is vintage the price is exorbitant.

    When my g/f and I moved in together, I started up my CDing again, and I started buying women's clothing again but hiding it around the house. I had a beautiful black Undercover Wear night gown, it was long, and it fit like a glove. I eventually had to purge the whole collection for fear she would find out.

    Now that I have come out to her as a CDer, the only purging I do now is items that I have not worn in ages or no longer fit. Those items I do not miss when purged.

  16. #16
    Goddess-In-Training Macey's Avatar
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    Oct 2018
    United States, East Coast
    Geez Crissy, I saw this thread title and your name as the author and got nervous!

    *whew* glad you're just starting a topic and not purging!
    Too much mascara is almost enough.

    Contact me on MeWe

  17. #17
    Senior Member Pumped's Avatar
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    Aug 2013
    I had a bad purge when my wife first discovered my dressing. I had a pair of cute sandals and a pair of stiletto heel, knee high, Nine West boots that fit perfedty that I tossed. A have not been able to replace them.

  18. #18
    Exploring NEPA now Cheryl T's Avatar
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    Feb 2006
    Yes, of course I have!
    It's something of a rite of passage it seems.

    When I was younger I would accumulate a wardrobe and be happy for months. Dressing when I could and then hiding everything in shame. It would peak with a purge, many purges actually. I lost so many lovely things over time by purging and wasted so much money.
    I haven't done that now in about 20 years since I accepted this part of myself and especially not since I came out to my wife and gained her acceptance. Now my things hang in the closet where I once hid.
    No more purging...that will be done by my heirs when I pass.
    Wear what makes you feel Confident !

  19. #19
    Member Felicia M's Avatar
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    Jul 2018
    Greater Boston, MA
    Two small purges when I was young and then a major purge in my late 30's. Such an incredible waste.
    I have been circling for a thousand years,
    and I still don?t know if I am a falcon, or a storm,
    or a great song.

    Rainer Maria Rilke

  20. #20
    Member Kelli_cd's Avatar
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    Jun 2018
    North Texas
    I purged many times. And like Macey said above, I almost panicked when I saw Crissy started this topic.

    The most recent (and last - I will not purge again) was about 3 years ago. As had happened previously I regretted the loss of items I could not replace. With the decision to never purge again came the decision to treat myself better because I deserve it and I'm worth it. Now, I buy myself nicer things and have more appreciation for what I have and who I am.

  21. #21
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Oct 2010
    Western Washington
    I fall into the pack rat category. The only femme clothes I have gotten rid of that were not worn out were dresses which did not fit. It took awhile to figure out women's sizes and styles. So maybe about twelve dresses went to Goodwill back in the 1980's. I should preen my wardrobe. When I first buying lingerie I wore a size 38 slip. Now I'm into size 42 or 44 with dresses in the 16-18 or XL range. I have too much that falls into the vintage category (1980's).

    I got over the self loathing and disgust before actually starting to buy dresses and shoes and hosiery and wigs and ............ This site is of great value for myself. It keeps my head on straight realizing I am not alone in this world.

  22. #22
    Join Date
    Nov 2005
    I had a BF throw me out of his apartment and he purged a lot of my clothes into the trash.

    I never purged my clothes and stuff, what would I wear?

    I did try and purge out of living but, well, that didn't work, I'm still here.
    Hiding in my room, safe within my womb.
    I touch no one and no one touches me.-S&G

  23. #23
    Aspiring Member Angela1954's Avatar
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    Feb 2015
    Purged twice. The last time 2 years ago; even though my wife know about my crossdressing and was supportive. It was an act of disgust. Illogical but real nonetheless. I got rid of so many nice clothes both times. Never again. I will never deny this part of me. As an aside as a runner I have a great collection of leggings. Those were always safe lol.

  24. #24
    Member Star01's Avatar
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    Aug 2018
    I have purged several times over the years most recently in the mid 2000's and started dressing again (slowly) this most recent time around 2012. I had a six year smoking relapse that made it easy to keep the weight off from around 2000-2005 but purged after a 2004 car accident threw me off my game. There weren't any serious injuries but I had neck surgery in 2001 from a previous accident and was experiencing a lot of back discomfort due to getting jostled around. The second accident coincided with one of the kids moving back in with her fiance and two kids. There was a time prior to that during the early 00's when I had long hair and was slim so that despite my limited wardrobe I looked pretty good and could have easily been passable with a few makeup and clothing tips. Anyways, the 2004 wreck and resulting lack of privacy put everything on hold until 2012 when my wife went out of town and I took a vacation day which found me spending some Star time.

    As I said, I had been down the purchase and purge road a few times and decided I would take it slow this time. I'm slowly building up a wardrobe and makeup and do not plan on purging this time as I feel like I'm in it for the duration. With retirement and more opportunities to dress it's no surprise that the desire came back.

    My goal now is to collect nice things and improve my overall look so that my next avatar will look more passable and age appropriate. There is a lot of work to do but the plan is no more purging.
    Last edited by Star01; 12-01-2019 at 12:08 PM.

  25. #25
    Gold Member Alice Torn's Avatar
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    Apr 2006
    Midwest U.S.
    In self disgust, and near suicide, I purged just over 2 yrs ago 99% and took eight bags and containers to a large charity store. I said i would try hard to never dress again. Months later, bought a few more dresses , hose, and a pair of heels and a cheap wig. I regret it now, as those great dresses, shoes, wigs, skirts, jewelry, purses, are now gone. I even went back to the store, and looked for some, but never did find anything i gave away. Many of those dresses, i had alterations done on, and zippers put on. Lots of money invested.

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