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Thread: Purging

  1. #51
    Aspiring Member
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    I have purged many times. After I accepted myself and won partial acceptance from my wife (DADT) I have stopped purging. Although, now I need to thin out the herd as I can actually say I have too much. I've sold some of my clothes at rethread stores that buy used clothes.

    As someone else has mentioned, I think the best thing to do is to box it up and put away - not throw the stuff away - because the urge almost always comes back.

  2. #52
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    Nope not once have I purged. I still have a skirt my sister didn't want any more and I took. It is nothing special except my mother made it for her just before I started dressing and she disposed of it shortly after.

  3. #53
    Princess Candice candykowal's Avatar
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    I so wish I never purged all my clothes and pictures of my past when I got engaged to my current wife 25+ years ago.
    Especially the pictures...from age 13 to 30, all my Candice Kowal pictures were tossed, before the internet defined social media and our current digitized society of pictorial history.
    Only a few survived through past girl friends and from my high school and college year books.
    My mother liked to take pictures of me with my first dress, beauty salon cut and curl (under a bee hive dryer), presenting in public on the bus, train, downtown window shopping, or in the old Buick on my way to Buster Brown for my first Mary Janes girl shoes. In my room listening to records with curlers in my hair, painting my nails at my vanity, and hugging a Barbie at Christmas.
    Standing by my first Mustang in an outfit from Sears like Marsha Brady wore on the TV show and so many more memories...all gone...as if I can't say they ever happened because the proof is gone.
    So depressing for me as I try to reminisce and relive some of those days as I am passing my mid life *sigh*....don't ever purge...just try to hide it good for future reference.

  4. #54
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    I had one complete purge in 2004. Wife had found out in 2001 when she found my collection in boxes in the basement during a move. She was barely accepting at first and then it went to Def Con 1. I got rid of everying..put all my stuff into probably 8 large garbage bags and took it to the dump. Went into a deep depression and years of individual and joint therapy. After the counselor said there was nothing more she could do for us, I told my wife I was done working on the relationship. Finally in 2010, I decided that I was only hurting myself since crossdressing was part of who I was. Fast foward 9 years and I am out of space to store everything. My collection is probably 10 times larger than it ever was. I only have some photos of the heels that I got rid of. I miss many of the dresses that I used to own (Fredericks, Victoria Secrets, Cache, etc). Purging didn't get rid of my crossdressing. It just buried it for a while. Now in DADT relationship. I just wish I could have the basement with clothes rod and have all of my collection displayed. I could easily start up a small botique with my collection.

  5. #55
    closet dresser Melissa73's Avatar
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    i myself have purged and regretted it multiple of times. However that said, my best purge came in 2012. I purged all my mens underwear, and socks in favor of womens panties and socks. No regrets! i kept 1 pair mens underwear just in case of doctor appts. but i hardly see them but 1 time a year

  6. #56
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    My biggest loss that was incurred from one of my purges was a pair of gray, suede, calf-length, Marco Sarto boots. I have never able to find that pair again. I will forever mourn them.

  7. #57
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    LOL I am about to purge right after Christmas! It's not going to be a 100% purge. I am going to sell a lot of the stuff that I don't wear anymore. I have got well over 100 dresses, and I cant count the shoes and probably 400 pairs of pantyhose. (I buy discount bulk when I can) Need room for things I will actually wear and enjoy.

  8. #58
    Silver Member Leslie Mary S's Avatar
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    I don't purge, I rotate and replace as the fashions I like change and suit me.
    Leslie Mary Shy
    A Southern Belle.

    "For a lump of coal to become a diamond, it takes a lot of pressure, heat, and time."
    "The question is, can I, as a lump of poor coal, survive that heat, pressure, and time."

  9. #59
    Senior Member BrendaPDX's Avatar
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    Purged? Yep, me too. More than once? Yep me too. Totally regretted it? Yep me too.

  10. #60
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    I have purged so many times it is a joke. I have not purged for many years now and when I think of the vintage lingerie I thrown out stupidly. As a little study I toted the cost of similar items that I had and this amounted to over ?3000. Therefore no more purging ever I can't afford it

  11. #61
    Life is more fun in heels Genifer Teal's Avatar
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    My words are simple, and probably repeated here. Pack it away. You'll be back.

  12. #62
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    hosekid - let us know where you are selling so we can take a look. Impressive pantyhose collection...

  13. #63
    Aspiring Member Pumped's Avatar
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    One time, when my wife was not impressed with my dressing I tossed a bunch of clothing. The one thing I miss was a pair of Nine West leather knee high stiletto heel boots. I had bought then new for something like 75% off. The fit like a glove and were very comfortable. I have never been able to replace them and get a similar style and fit. Knowing what I know now I should have hidden them away somewhere until she cooled off. Today I have about 15 pairs of high heels that I wear with her all the time.

  14. #64
    Member MiniRock's Avatar
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    Yes once, very early on. I never had any shame but my children's mother did. So I tried to appease her but of course failed. Lost a mini skirt I liked and a Basque. I hadn't really got started at the time so no great loss.

  15. #65
    Aspiring Member abbiedrake's Avatar
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    I'm so over purging, Crissy.
    I spent 46 years doing it and it was my refusal to do it again that lead to me confronting Lee. And in the two years since I've only got rid of stuff that doesn't fit or that was from that awkward phase in my girl adolescence where I was finding my style.

    Repeat after me... Never again.

    [SIZE=1]- - - Updated - - -[/SIZE]

    Quote Originally Posted by candykowal View Post
    I so wish I never purged all my clothes and pictures of my past when I got engaged to my current wife 25+ years ago.
    Especially the pictures...from age 13 to 30, all my Candice Kowal pictures were tossed, before the internet defined social media and our current digitized society of pictorial history.
    Only a few survived through past girl friends and from my high school and college year books.
    My mother liked to take pictures of me with my first dress, beauty salon cut and curl (under a bee hive dryer), presenting in public on the bus, train, downtown window shopping, or in the old Buick on my way to Buster Brown for my first Mary Janes girl shoes. In my room listening to records with curlers in my hair, painting my nails at my vanity, and hugging a Barbie at Christmas.
    Standing by my first Mustang in an outfit from Sears like Marsha Brady wore on the TV show and so many more memories...all gone...as if I can't say they ever happened because the proof is gone.
    So depressing for me as I try to reminisce and relive some of those days as I am passing my mid life *sigh*....don't ever purge...just try to hide it good for future reference.
    Christ that's grim, Candy. Hope all your futures are rosy.

  16. #66
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    Once and only once. At age 25 when I needed to concentrate on my schoolwork. It cost me my first outfit that I wore in public. The total was less than a hundred US dollars. I am such a cheap @$$ that even with that small loss, the pain made me vow never to do that again. And I never did.

    Now I have the opposite problem. My closet needs some serious maintenance. Stuff that does not fit and stuff that I acquired while early in the process of developing my style, it really should go. As a serious cheap @$$, I find that maintenance difficult to do.

  17. #67
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    When I was in my early teens and the difficulties that go with that for some of us, I didn?t have many femme clothes but got rid of them, feeling was so bad not to have my things that I promised myself never again, way too tough

  18. #68
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    Add me to to the list. I have purged a few times and regretted it soon after. I have tossed far too many things that I spent a lot of time and effort acquiring. I long ago decided not to do it again, except for things that are too worn out or makeup that is way past its useful life. That said, I am running out of closet space!

  19. #69
    Girl at Heart stefcd1's Avatar
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    The last and final time I purged was back in 2013 when I met a gal I ended up marrying and promised myself that I would put my female side away for good. After it became obvious she was only after what retirement money and she couldn't get access to it, we divorced. Now I have been building up my wardrobe with nicer dresses, heels, wigs, etc. as I have started living as a transwoman about 40% of the time. Never ever ever will I purge again!

  20. #70
    Silver Member Crissy 107's Avatar
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    Thanks everyone for all the replies on purging. This is such a terrible wasteful thing that many of us have done. I do not know anyone who has purged and later thought it was still a good idea.
    Cleaning out your closet of old worn out things is not the same as purging.
    Crissy

  21. #71
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    Quote Originally Posted by Eemz View Post
    The biggest regret was that I threw out a teddy bear I had had since I was a child. I?m still upset about that after writing it just now.
    I came across him under the bed during my worst ever purge and he fell victim to the same ?you?re a grown man? crap. I can replace the shoes and stuff but not him.
    I came back to read the responses about purging. It is so sad that so many have endured so much pain trying to purge ourselves of a part of who we are. Femz, you are not alone. When I was a little boy I had the greatest stuffed elephant. Of course, he was grey. The bottom of his feet was red. The inside of his ears was red. My mother decided I was "too old" for stuffed animals. She convinced me it was time to get rid of him. We walked to the apartment building garbage chute. In his went. I balled and balled. She tried to fish him out, but, to no available. He ended up being cremated. I think I was scarred for life. Years later I formed the opinion because of that incident and others my mother was the "Greatest Bitch" that ever lived. I was so happy when that evil bitch passed away. Long live my "Perfuming" as I called him.

    Our daughter has her childhood "baby doll" as she called her favorite doll. That doll went off to college with her after high school. I remember when we went for family pictures and the photographer said "Baby Doll" was too ugly to be in the picture. Another "bitch" in the making. Of course "Baby Doll" is in the pictures.

    I think I am a stubborn Dutchman. Even after almost fifty years of life I think I'd purge my wife before I purge who I am.

  22. #72
    Aspiring Member Pumped's Avatar
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    Steph, I bet you wish you still had that elephant.

    It is funny the things we keep. I have a stuffed gorilla holding a banana that was from a friend of mine and given to my daughter when she was born. My daughter had no attachment to it and one day she was cleaning her room and she was going to toss it. I asked if i could have it and I got a funny look. My daughter turned thirty years old last fall. The gorilla sits on a shelf in my home office. The friend has long since passed away. I can't explain why I keep it.

  23. #73
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    I have in the past when living with Families, now I do not I wear them to the ground then throw it out.
    Live Today as if it is your last day

  24. #74
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    Quote Originally Posted by Pumped View Post
    Steph, I bet you wish you still had that elephant..
    Yep, Pumped (#72). I wish I still had my friend. Our niece has a lamb that looked like a dog had chewed it up royally. Stuffing yanked from it. Tattered. Dirty. My wife and I bought her the exact lamb on ebay. That old beat up lamb still sits on the shelf above her bed. The new lamb is just another toy. You just cannot substitute a new friend for an old buddy.

  25. #75
    Silver Member Sometimes Steffi's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Stephanie47 View Post
    I fall into the pack rat category. The only femme clothes I have gotten rid of that were not worn out were dresses which did not fit. It took awhile to figure out women's sizes and styles. So maybe about twelve dresses went to Goodwill back in the 1980's. I should preen my wardrobe. When I first buying lingerie I wore a size 38 slip. Now I'm into size 42 or 44 with dresses in the 16-18 or XL range. I have too much that falls into the vintage category (1980's).

    I got over the self loathing and disgust before actually starting to buy dresses and shoes and hosiery and wigs and ............ This site is of great value for myself. It keeps my head on straight realizing I am not alone in this world.
    I am also a packrat and my packrat personality overwhelmed my self loathing. I never purged.
    Hi, I'm Steffi and I'm a crossdresser... And I accept and celebrate both sides of me. Or, maybe I'm gender fluid.

    Gender fluid (adj.) - Describes a person whose gender identity is not fixed. A person who is gender fluid may always feel like a mix of the two traditional genders, but may feel [more] like one gender some days, and [more like] another gender other days.

    Ref: https://www.lgbthealtheducation.org/wp-content/uploads/LGBT-Glossary_March2016.pdf

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