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Thread: For those who are hesitant, but still want to.....

  1. #26
    Junior Member Kimberly A.'s Avatar
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    You are very welcome, Ashanti! :-) See, I have rather large hands as well, but I believe that doesn't keep me from being at least somewhat passable. Lol And yes, take baby steps at first and see what happens.
    I may be crazy, but I'm BURIED in your memory!

  2. #27
    New Member mandysmiles's Avatar
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    Kimberly, your post was the final push that sent me out into the world for the first time today. Thank you! I was pretty much ready for it but this thread was last one i read and finally just went for it. The stars aligned for me today I guess. I went to the local outlet mall aroud lunchtime today, it wasn't crazy busy but walked by a couple hundred people. I went into several stores and browsed like any other day, except I had the freedom to browse for preferred clothing and shoes. I'm pretty sure I blended really well except when I had to talk to people. I need some kind of voice changing technology. It was also cold out so I was able to cover up my giant adams apple that would otherwise be a dead giveaway. It was a great day but I didn't want to push my luck so I went home after a couple hours.

  3. #28
    Yeah Ok like whatever Tracii G's Avatar
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    Thats awesome Mandy.
    Not much sense in changing your voice too much because you don't want to sound like Mickey Mouse.
    Try talking softer in your regular voice.
    Head Executive Chief of the Dept of Redundancy Dept.
    Expert plumpologist

  4. #29
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    Find a seasoned sister who will mentor you in what you do and not do femininly. HOW? Posts and threads often show locations. If some are near you, (or maybe an over-night) PM them and ask for their big sister mentoring help. You will not be so nervous when you go out with another person.

  5. #30
    Junior Member Kimberly A.'s Avatar
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    AWESOME, Mandy! It sounds like you had a great time and you're very welcome! :-) The first time I went out dressed, I hadn't even joined this forum yet..... I just wanted to do it and see how it felt and how I liked it. And you know what??? It felt GREAT and I LOVE doing it! I didn't spend much time my first time out, either. When I got home though, I Googled crossdressing forums and found this one, so I read a few posts as a guest, then I decided to join, tell my story in my introductory post and well, it's like they say..... The rest is history! LOL But either way, I'm glad you decided to take that first step and venture out en femme and I'm glad that my post was what gave you the encouragement to do so..... HUGE congrats to ya! :-)
    I may be crazy, but I'm BURIED in your memory!

  6. #31
    Silver Member Helen_Highwater's Avatar
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    Mandy,

    Feels good don't it! Really pleased for you. You did just the right thing, went somewhere with people about and did what folks do.

    Finding a voice is something that will come with time. As Tracii says, "Not much sense in changing your voice too much because you don't want to sound like Mickey Mouse." While dressed I once met a speech therapist socially and she said the big mistake most CD'ers make is sounding like the Bee Gees. She went on to say raise your pitch only slightly. Sing Do-ray-mi starting at your normal pitch. Speaking with your pitch at ray or mi, no higher, is more akin to what most GG's use. Beyond that it's more about how you speak, inflection, phrasing as well as mannerisms and eye contact. GG's engage more. Every interaction is a mini conversation.

    Man: "Have you got the time please?" "It's one o'clock". "Thanks".

    GG: "Excuse me my dear but do you have the time please?" "Oh yes, of course, it's one o'clock". "Thank you so much", "Oh not at all, it's no bother"

    Get the picture?
    Who dares wears Get in, get out without being noticed

  7. #32
    Senior Member Jean 103's Avatar
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    It's nice that you are enjoying this part of your life.

    You could stay here like many do, there are many reasons, that's just life.

    Or you may find you want more, this is were the big problems start, or not, it would depend on your current relationships.

    If you do manage to get through all this, make friends, live openly, you'll find that it is not about passing , but being accepted as this is just you and how you are. I don't expect many will ever get here or understand what it is like.

    That is living life where everyone expects you to be dressed all the time. So things are flipped and you don't want people to see you in guy mode.

    I live in CA where I grew up. There is no where I will not go, at least in the day time.

    Have fun, enjoy, and be careful what you wish for.

  8. #33
    Member RachelB.'s Avatar
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    My personal experience is once you leave the house it will be hard to stay at home. Be careful and aware of your surroundings and you should be fine.

  9. #34
    Member jessicabf's Avatar
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    The thoughts and advice on voice is big on my mind. I haven?t gone out dressed yet. But planning to. My SO is more ready than me. She started planning a day in Vegas, and wanted to include her sister. Even do a wedding. I got cold feet. But still want to work up to it. Now we are planning the outfit, and location. Maybe two days at a hotel away from house (avoid running into people we know). Then spend the day out dressed. She giggled that people will think she is gay. I just answered that if I can pass that well, I?ll call it success! Lol.
    But seriously, beyond visual passing, I worry about the voice.
    Jessica BF

  10. #35
    Aspiring Member TheHiddenMe's Avatar
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    From Columbia, you have two choices, Kansas City or St. Louis. I can certainly recommend St. Louis, and have been out there frequently.

    I have a guy voice and I'm somewhat reluctant to talk but it hasn't been an issue. I assume that if someone is close enough to talk to me, they are likely to assume I'm a guy anyway (or trans).

    You will have your wife with you. She can do the talking if you have any interactions with other people.

    The main time I am reluctant to talk has been on the few occasions I've been in a bathroom with one of my GG friends (friends I have made after I starting going out). They will start talking to me while in another stall and I generally don't answer. Afterwards, I will explain I don't want to talk because I don't want another woman to hear a male's voice in the bathroom. My GG friends are just so used to my male voice they just treat me as a woman.

    Your wife is supportive. You know you want to do this. Book a room in St. Louis, visit the Galleria, hit the Nordstrom or Macy's (or both), have lunch or dinner at the Cheesecake Factory, and you will be fine.

  11. #36
    Resident Polymath MarinaTwelve200's Avatar
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    I would suggest FIRST going out on Halloween. (or Mardi Gras if they celebrate it near by) if only for your own comfort, as you will have both the experience of being out in public and a ready, justifiable "EXCUSE" should you be questioned or accosted for your costume choice.

    Most likely, NO ONE will question or make an issue of it anyway, if you play it cool and don't advertise that you are a guy. This realization will make it MUCH more easier to go out when it is NOT Halloween, and you will have had experience. Indeed, having a REAL excuse you can use like Halloween, or a Womanless beauty contest, etc. is perhaps the psychological edge you need to start going out in public

    ---Think of it like an inflatable water toy you used to cling to when you first ventured into the WATER. It made you comfortable and allowed you to go in without fear.--Once you realized you were not gonna sink like a rock and drown, and had some more experience the water, you found you didn't need the water toy at all, any more to go swimming.

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