Only my wife knows... and the pets we have had. As for my wife we have gone through the total spectrum. Total secrecy, to DADT, to not minding seeing Danielle, to every permutation in between, to the current situation where we can talk about most Danielle things and she will ask how a Danielle day went but does not want to see Danielle. But even with open discussion sometimes the unexpected negative reaction occurs. The other day I was telling her I had bought several new wigs and she was quite upset about the money I spend on Danielle stuff. I calmly tried to to explain yearly it was less than she spends on her hobbies but it was one of those times that rational discussion was not going to cut through her emotional reaction.