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Thread: All these years.............

  1. #1
    There's that smile! CarlaWestin's Avatar
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    All these years.............

    ..........and I've never told any of my siblings or immediate family anything about my activity.
    I can only speculate what was thrown around during divorce long ago.

    Accepted by family? Any confidant siblings? A parent?
    I've waited so long for this time. Makeup is so frustrating. Shaking hands and I look so old. This was a mistake.
    My new maid's outfit is cute. Sure fits tight.
    And then I step into the bedroom and in the mirror, I see a beautiful woman looking back at me.
    Smile, Honey! You look fabulous!

  2. #2
    Female Illusionist! docrobbysherry's Avatar
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    I had to tell my adult daughter when she moved back in or she would have caught me!

    Otherwise? They wouldn't know!
    U can't keep doing the same things over and over and expect to enjoy life to the max. When u try new things, even if they r out of your comfort zone, u may experience new excitement and growth that u never expected.

    Challenge yourself and pursue your passions! When your life clock runs out, you'll have few or NO REGRETS!

  3. #3
    Gold Member
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    Only my late Wife knew of my dressing. I bet when I die, there will be a lot of head scratching and wondering.
    O' Well, I won't be around to notice anything.
    Rader

  4. #4
    Another fine dress AngelaYVR's Avatar
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    I told my mum years ago in case I ever ended up under a bus. I told my daughter this summer because she's finished school and was ready to find out about this important part of my life. Not much of a chance I will tell my brothers.

  5. #5
    AKA Lexi sometimes_miss's Avatar
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    Nope, no success story here. My ex wife blackmailed me during the divorce, said if I didn't give her everything, she's out me to my family, friends and co-workers. Knowing her as I thought I did, I wanted to head her off, and at least let my family know from my own mouth rather than hers. My mother was shocked, and remained in denial for the rest of her life. My sister looked horrified, as I also disclosed that I was molested by her childhood's best friend's older brother. She still avoids contact with me. After those two failures, I didn't tell anyone else. I gave my wife everything she asked for. AFAIK, she held up her end of the agreement.
    Rather than risk the whole 'He's a freak!' fiasco, I first disclosed that I had been sexually abused as a child. Of course, thanks to our lovely news media having previously screwed up the logic, and instead of telling that child molesters had almost always been abused themselves, they make the news more juicy by saying that children who are molested are more likely to become child molesters themselves. The few friends I told, gradually removed me from their lives. Nope, I stopped telling anyone about my problems.
    Some causes of crossdressing you've probably never even considered: My TG biography at:http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/...=1#post1490560
    There's an addendum at post # 82 on that thread, too. It's about a ten minute read.
    Why don't we understand our desire to dress, behave and feel like a girl? Because from childhood, boys are told that the worst possible thing we can be, is a sissy. This feeling is so ingrained into our psyche, that we will suppress any thoughts that connect us to being or wanting to be feminine, even to the point of creating separate personalities to assign those female feelings into.

  6. #6
    Silver Member Elizabeth G's Avatar
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    My wife has known for several years now. She's not thrilled but she works with me on it. I told both of my brothers in the last few months and in both cases it went very well. I also told both of my adult children and have had no problems there either. The only immediate family member who I have not told is my father and I'm hesitant to do so. He is quite old and is also old school. First off I don't think he would get it. I think it would knock him for a loop. I would not expect him to be very accepting.
    Last edited by Elizabeth G; 12-05-2019 at 11:04 AM.

  7. #7
    Miss Judy Judy-Somthing's Avatar
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    I was out to all my friends and family in my teens but my wife to be didn't like it so I went "INTO THE CLOSET" ARRRRRRRR!
    After I found this web-site 2-1/2 years ago I started to like who I am rather than hating being a CD-er.
    I told the wife about me like to dress, it went bad for over a year.
    My daughter was bumming that my SO and I were arguing quite a bit and asked why! I told her about my dressing, she said "SO" and then drove over to my son's house and told him,
    He said "what's wrong with that"
    "This is ME" I am not CRAZY, I'm just a GUY who likes dresses!
    Since allot of men dress up in woman's clothing that makes it a manly thing to do!
    Much more fun than fishing.
    I do construction like house building and I love CD-ing, what's the difference?

  8. #8
    Gold Member bridget thronton's Avatar
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    My wife and adult children were told by me along with their spouses - no problems with any of them

  9. #9
    Silver Member Micki_Finn's Avatar
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    Yeah, my family knows. They are supportive.

  10. #10
    Member Ashanti's Avatar
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    I just told my younger sister about my CDing about six months ago. She is very accepting of the fact. I regret not telling her about it sooner, maybe not in the childhood years, but when we were all adults. As a matter of fact, today I received great tips from her regarding make up and foundations.
    I crossdress to express my feminine side

  11. #11
    Aspiring Member Michelle Crossfire's Avatar
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    Both my parents have passed away. I never mentioned a thing to them. My sisters are not intelligent enough to understand and are quite hypocritical, so there is no chance I will ever mention anything to them. I don't see my daughter thanks to the ineptness of family court. My current wife is the only family member who knows, who supports me, as I have mentioned on more than one occasion on this site. Her family knows nothing, and I am not changing that.
    [B][I]Call me Michelle: doll:

  12. #12
    Member CayleeMarie's Avatar
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    As for me, my wife knows and is very accepting and supportive. The only other people who know is a couple whom I have known for a very long time who support my Caylee time in their home. I would love to tell my oldest stepdaughter who is MTF trans, because I think she is the only one in my circle who would truly get it. Otherwise no one else knows, mostly because my wife is terrified of the potential negative judgment that will befall me if anyone else knew.

  13. #13
    Aspiring Shopaholic BTWimRobin's Avatar
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    My wife is the only person I've told. She's okay with it but I think she's hoping it would go away.. I have an elderly aunt who I take care of. I've been thinking about coming out to her. I don't think she would be the least bit surprised. As a kid growing up I was always in her things.
    - Robin


    Because life is too short not to.

    It's ironic ... I finally found a group of guys I fit in with. Funny how they all enjoy being one of the girls.

    Wife: Why do you fold your panties? Me: I don't like my panties in a wad!

  14. #14
    Junior Member
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    Just long term X-G/F knew about my dressing, she marginally tolerated, but honestly never felt like was fully allowed to express that part of myself with her, might be part of the reason she is an X; when you can't really be yourself. Fortunate enough my wife who knows is accepting and doesn't mind when the Jenn part of me expresses. But just an at home thing for me, so it hasn't developed some of the other challenges and decision points that I know many have or have to work(ed) through.

  15. #15
    Silver Member Sandi Beech's Avatar
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    Carla, for me, there is no chance of telling any family members. I know them well and it would go badly. As for my wife, she has only busted me for owning items like pantyhose. Just having one pair in the drawer would land me in the doghouse for a week. I can not imagine what she would do if she found my current stash. Anyhow, looks like you have a birthday coming up according to your profile so happy B-day in advance.

    Sandi

  16. #16
    Aspiring Member
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    My wife knows and is supportive, but still doesn't want to see me dressed. My sister knows and we have been out shopping and lunch together. I have been helping her through some personal issues over the last year so has just gave me some cosmetics. She will call sometimes and we will do some online shopping together.
    Sara

  17. #17
    Senior Member GretchenM's Avatar
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    A lot of my family knows, but I do not feel rejection from anyone except one sister in law who is very conservative and doesn't accept much of anything that isn't consistent with stereotypical and traditional behavior. One sister in law and my youngest daughter, who is a therapist, are the most accepting. My wife is tolerant but not really very supportive. But nobody has seen Gretchen in her full plumage, but they have seen enough of preference for feminine colors in men's clothing and the occasional women's T or sweatshirt that are quite plain to get the picture. It's OK. Not fully what I would prefer but acceptable.

  18. #18
    There's that smile! CarlaWestin's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by docrobbysherry View Post
    I had to tell my adult daughter when she moved back in or she would have caught me!

    Otherwise? They wouldn't know!
    Geez! I forgot that I've told my fabulous Daughter a couple of years ago. Totally accepting and she wants to meet Carla someday.
    Bonus: it completely cheezed off the ex. Yawn!
    I've waited so long for this time. Makeup is so frustrating. Shaking hands and I look so old. This was a mistake.
    My new maid's outfit is cute. Sure fits tight.
    And then I step into the bedroom and in the mirror, I see a beautiful woman looking back at me.
    Smile, Honey! You look fabulous!

  19. #19
    Platinum Member alwayshave's Avatar
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    Carla, I have stated here before, my mother is aware.
    Please call me Jamie, I always_have crossdressed, I always will, "alwayshave".

  20. #20
    Yendis Sidney's Avatar
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    My wife knows of my crossdressing and is accepting. Also I have told our two adult daughters who are happy and accepting of my fem side. I have also come out to two male friends who have been very accepting and actually encouraging. LOL, one admitted he had a fem side and that his wife knows and is very supportive. He and I have lunch about once a week but have not seen each other enfem, only pictures. I dont broadcast my Sidney side however the few I have told love me for all of me.

  21. #21
    Danielle cdinmd206's Avatar
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    I have not told any of my family about my CDing. The ex wife knew I loved wearing lingerie before we were married and loved it when we were both wearing stockings, garter belt, panties and heels. She tolerated it when I said I would like to fully dress and go out out sometime. At first she would go out with me and then later on preferred to stay at home. After the daughter left for college and I tried dressing at home I could see she really did not like it so I stopped. The daughter may suspect I do but has never asked. If she does I will be honest with her. I have a very good female friend who I may come out to in the near future.

  22. #22
    Senior Member April Rose's Avatar
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    I told my wife before we were married. It has varied over time, often due to unrelated factors, but for the most part she has been supportive. I dress every day at home, but don't go out, per her request. She recently told me she was grateful to have a man in a dress who loved her rather than someone more masculine who was abusive.

    I came out to my son when he was 22. He was fine with it. It turned out he had known since he was 14. Since my wife and I had been "hippie" types, he was sure there was pot in the house and he went through the whole house looking for it. There wasn't any. We hadn't smoked it in years. What he did find was my diaries. Oops.

    My older brother walked in on me while I was cooking dinner in a skirt. Again, ok with it.

    I didn't feel it was right for my wife to have to be in the closet with me, so I told her she was free to talk our situation over with anyone she felt comfortable sharing it with. the first person she told was her sister. Turned out she already knew as well. It seems I'd confided with her years before when I was loaded. We used to party a lot in the old days.

    Others know as well, to the extent that really, I have no control over it whatsoever. It's all good, it has seldom been brought up unless by me. The few conversations I've had about it have been reassuring.

    A transitioned Sister once told me: "If they liked you before, they'll like you after. If they didn't like you before they won't like you after." I think that is true for CD's as well.
    I am a vessel of the goddess. Let me express my calling to a feminine life through nurturing love and relatedness.

  23. #23
    happy to be her Sarah Doepner's Avatar
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    My parents and only sibling died well before I was ready to come out and I don't think they knew beyond me being caught a couple of times in my early teens.

    After about 25 years of marriage my wife found out, partially thorough me being surprised but probably more because I needed to tell her. After a week of anxiety while she did her research, she decided much of what she loved about me was represented in my embrace of femininity. That was it for years until she passed away and I was effectively returned to the closet. I didn't like that and a few years later I sat my adult daughter down and told her. She said "We were wondering when you were going to tell us." Long before my wife knew it seems my middle son had found links on the family computer that outed me. They never said a word until I brought it up and have been fine.

    Since then I started sharing it very selectively except for the day a grand-nephew stopped in unexpectedly and found me, so I explained to him and he was good with it. No problem except his grandfather, my brother-in-law is very homophobic/transphobic and has a drinking temper. So I told his older sister and a couple others on that side of the family to build some strategic allies for when he finds out. In the last 18 months I started hormones and now I'm out to most of my closest friends, all with support and even a few jokes here and there. There are some former co-workers who I've come out to and even though we were employed in Law Enforcement, there has been nothing there but support. It's becoming a secret the way there are secret "Hidden Mickys" around Disneyland. The only negative is the reluctance to tell my brother-in-law and the older he gets and the worse his health becomes, the less of an issue he becomes.
    Sarah
    Being transgender isn't a lifestyle choice. How you deal with it is.

  24. #24
    Banned Read only
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    Carla,
    I recently posted a thread titled , " The whole World and it's neighbour knows " that's how it appears to be now . My wife reeled off a list of people who knew around my old home town , I must admit for once it felt OK to be told this because she could no longer make me feel ashamed or guilty , she is now learning how to deal with it . I know it will never feel normal to her as it does for me but it's not my problem anymore my life has permanently changed there is no going back to the way it was .

  25. #25
    Carole carhill2mn's Avatar
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    My wife knew that I liked to wear women's clothes, etc. She also knew that I liked to go out and present as a woman. Her acceptance varied over the years from sort-of, to that is terrible, to DADT, to OMG no, to acceptance again.

    When we told our daughters and husbands that we were getting a divorce she told them that I liked to wear women's clothes. They really did not care. They were much more upset about the divorce. This really ticked off my wife!
    Hugs, Carole

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