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Thread: Closest to ever being caught ... closeted panic!

  1. #1
    3dxchat User JuliaGirl's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2019
    Southern Ontario

    Closest to ever being caught ... closeted panic!

    So this morning my wife heads out for what is supposed to be at least three-four hours out of the house and I think ... I have some new clothes that still need tags removed and why not dress? I thought about lipstick but the close shave and new breastplate was enough. Pants and a new blouse first, then into a lovely new black wrap dress. All the trimmings of course ... heels, hose, underwear, long dark wig ... and you know what's coming ...

    About 90 minutes gone and I'm up in the finished attic and I think ... "Shit, was that the garage door opening?" Glance out the front window and see the tail end of her car pulling into the garage.

    Now, I have jumped out of planes, and thrown live grenades, but this moment? Sheer, adrenaline surge of utter full-on "holy F!#^" panic and I rip everything off, hear the door to the house open and the "Hiya, I'm home!", cram it back into whatever box is open (stuff sorted by different boxes), jump into drab clothes, shove boxes into discrete corner (usually much better hidden) ... and hear steps coming up. Made sure to hop up and greet and keep her downstairs and chat and finnally, after an hour, get three minutes to re-hide my boxes (still unsorted and crammed) into the nook.

    Note in the AM? Fold and straighten the crammed in stuff.

    Just damn. Never, ever been that panicked or close to being discovered. It was not a fun few minutes that.

    But remain closeted. Sigh.
    Closeted for 45 years, so please take any advice I might offer with a massive dose of reality.
    Julia xo

  2. #2
    Lady By Choice Leslie Langford's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2008
    near Toronto, Ontario, Canada
    LOL! - Been there, done that, got the T-shirt...err...camisole

    You are far from alone. I think many of us here could give Harry Houdini (or is that Superman/Clark Kent?) a run for his money...

  3. #3
    Girl about Town Jodie_Lynn's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2005
    Catskill, NY
    JuliaGirl, and all others in your situation. I feel so sorry for you, that you have to hide a major portion of who you are.

    I was there, situations change, I am better for the losses and the changes.

    Good luck, but I have to say that the hammer is gonna drop some day, and it won't be pretty.
    Before you can love another, you must first like yourself

    I Aim To Misbehave

    Labels belong on BOXES, not PEOPLE!

  4. #4
    Silver Member Crissy 107's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2018
    Virginia USA
    Julia, Damn, I can feel your panic. Fortunately I have never been there but can totally understand.

  5. #5
    New Member
    Join Date
    Jun 2019
    USA, East Coast
    Bless your heart.

  6. #6
    Aspiring Member
    Join Date
    Nov 2007
    The OC
    It's time to come clean. It's just a matter of time--you WILL eventually get caught, and it won't be a pretty aftermath.
    I am one of the lucky ones who has an understanding and supportive wife who let's me dress when ever I want for as long or short of a period I need.

  7. #7
    Senior Member Kay J's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2018
    Southern Wisconsin
    When i came out to my wife she said why did i have to tell her that i said i though it would be better then her walking in on me some day she said you are right that really be a shocker thx for telling me! We are in a dadt situation but she does give me Kay time!

  8. #8
    Silver Member Elizabeth G's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2016
    New England
    Yup, over been in similar situations and it's no fun at all. Eventually I was caught (I wasn't caught dressed but my wife found a bra in my car) and it was awful. That was several years ago and to this day wer are still working through things but I'm thankful that she now knows and I don't have to worry about something like that happening again.
    It's just the clothes... isn't it?

  9. #9
    Gold Member alwayshave's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2011
    Washington, DC
    Julia, Never had this issue. I told my wife before we moved in together, so no hiding from her. With my ex-wife I kept my stuff with her old stuff and never had an issue. I only dressed when I knew she was hours away.
    Please call me Jamie, I always_have crossdressed, I always will, "alwayshave".

  10. #10
    50's Housewife Wannabe Madilyn A.'s Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2010
    I know that feeling all too well. My children have stopped by unannounced more times than I care to remember. Sheer panic.......!!!
    Believe in the impossible dream, dreams do come true !!!


  11. #11
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Oct 2010
    Western Washington
    Yep, Except for the security chain on the apartment door my father and mother would have caught me wearing my mother's sun dress. I was seventeen. It was 1954. My ass would have been beaten to a pulp. I can't remember the exact month, but, I graduated high school that year. My ass would have been kicked out the door. My parents were not accepting of homosexuals, and, back then any boy/man who wore women's clothing was deemed to be a homosexual.

    I went back and reread your post about your son "coming out" and transitioning to a woman. I think you really have to consider the possibility there may be a genetic predisposition in your family for transgender issues. A counselor I see for war related PTSD issues is of the opinion each man and woman has some degree of dna of the opposite sex. It is greater in some than others. You may be limited or comfortable with emulating a woman on occasion while your son has greater needs.
    Last edited by Stephanie47; 11-18-2019 at 11:53 AM.

  12. #12
    Silver Member Sometimes Steffi's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2008
    Nation's Capital
    I thought I was kind of past that, until today.

    I'm in a DADT relationship. My wife knows, and even lets Steffi go out and about, but she doesn't want to see Steffi. But, if she did see Steffi, she'd be angry but it would be a conventional war and not go nuclear. She was out today for a few hours, and I was just planning of trying on a few dresses that I picked up at a clothing swap.

    I was in the dining room working on my computer, but I was underdressed in a bra and C cup forms. I hear the door open and can't figure how my wife managed to get home so fast. It wasn't my wife, but my daughter, and there was no place to hide. I just leaned into my computer and hoped she didn't notice anything "unusual" before she went downstairs to her bedroom. As soon as she went down stairs, I hurried upstairs and removed my forms.

    My daughter doesn't know that I CD. She works split shifts and has a 2-hour break in the morning. She usually stays in the break room at work, but she decided to come home today. If she saw anything and talks to my wife about it, there will be hell to pay. It will go nuclear.
    Last edited by Sometimes Steffi; 11-18-2019 at 10:02 PM.
    Hi, I'm Steffi and I'm a crossdresser... And I accept and celebrate both sides of me. Or, maybe I'm gender fluid.

    Gender fluid (adj.) - Describes a person whose gender identity is not fixed. A person who is gender fluid may always feel like a mix of the two traditional genders, but may feel [more] like one gender some days, and [more like] another gender other days.


  13. #13
    Shoes, a woman's passion! debbeelee1's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2007
    She probably figured something was up! I'm a lucky one with an accepting and encouraging SO.

    I friend of mine was a closeted CDer until she fell asleep on the couch fully dressed and her SO came home from work early! After a lot of "splainin", it worked out well for her. Her SO was more upset because she hid her CDing from her.
    Hugs and kisses,

  14. #14
    New Member Sarah Handy's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2019
    Houston Texas
    I had it happen today I was dressed I had a person coming to repair some Sheetrock and I was told he would come by at lunch he showed up 2 hours early. He rang the door bell I jumped up and started pull off clothes as fast as I could I was faster than Superman.

  15. #15
    Miss Judy Judy-Somthing's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2015
    So cool, at least you got your Cardio!
    "This is ME" I am not CRAZY, I'm just a GUY who likes dresses!
    Since allot of men dress up in woman's clothing that makes it a manly thing to do!
    Much more fun than fishing.
    I do construction like house building and I love CD-ing, what's the difference?

  16. #16
    Member FrannGurl's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2016
    I've done this too in a similar situation.

    Some others here had a few good points, but what I can add to it is this...

    I kept it from my wife for years, and thought I was smart, yet I always had guilt about it.

    I was caught by my wife and divorced pretty quickly over it.

    Some on here have wives that accept it, even if it's a DADT situation. I wasn't so lucky. I also found that I liked men a little more than women, but that was just me. I'd say if you are hetero and love your wife, find a way to tell her...Maybe ease into it casually to guage her reaction but find a way to tell her to avoid the heartache I went through...Just my opinion. Hugs

  17. #17
    Member Territx's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2016
    Houston, TX
    I sooooo understand that situation, though mine was kind of different -- a little eyeliner was left on and she noticed that my eyes were dark. Went and scrubbed my face! Now, I admit that I have told her before, years ago (before I got into fully dressing again), and she was not encouraging and so those conversations have never been brought up again. Her attitude was to comment that her father would never do something like that and she could not picture him doing so. I totally understand her reasoning and position -- heck, it is not like I "picked" this as my life interest. So, basically, she dated and married "my twin", when I later started exploring my "female side", it was just better to let the issue slide. I assume at some point, I will just "stop", purge, and enjoy my pictures and the internet experiences of others. I know that is not the ideal solution, but this is "life" and there are no perfect answers for most of us.
    I am what I am and also what I am not!

  18. #18
    Join Date
    Mar 2017
    And that is why I have decided ankle strap heels are not a great idea, unless I KNOW I will not be interrupted (and that is very rare).

    I bought sme silver ankle strapped heels. I had a Saturday morning t myself. A friend said he might come by but would call first. I called him a few times but no answer. I slipped on some stockings and tried them on. Not 2 minutes later, I hear the screen door and the door knob. Luckily I had double checked it. He had another friend with him and lunch. I ushered them into the other part of the house and grabbed a garbage bag from the utility room which is right by my office/computer/dressing room. Grabbed shoes and sto keep ngs out of f the bathroom and threw them in the bag and then the closet. Told them and had to finished cleaning the bathroom.

    Next thng I k ow he comes through the door to talk and tell me left his phone at home. I convinced him to go eat. I start looking around and i had left a skirt rolled up on my desk.
    Last edited by Hollibelle; 12-12-2019 at 07:57 PM.

  19. #19
    Member Star01's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2018
    Stop it please! You all are freaking me out. I'm going to a family lake home for a couple days and nights this weekend to patch a hole in the drywall. I am planning on spending both evenings en femme looking out the window at the moonlit snow covered lake. You've got me scared that a relative will stop by unexpectedly and I'm going to have to do a Superman impersonation.

  20. #20
    Join Date
    Nov 2005
    Julie, it's sad that you and some others here have to live this way. I feel sorry for.
    Hiding in my room, safe within my womb.
    I touch no one and no one touches me.-S&G

  21. #21
    Member Kimberly A.'s Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2019
    Kosciusko, MS
    Ah, now I understand why you really can't go out dressed, Julia..... I did not know that you were married until I read this. I do apologize for trying to pressure you into going out dressed...? However, have you ever tried talking to your wife about your dressing? I know that if she is like most other wives, she will not accept or understand it. But also, there are CD'ers on this forum, as you know who have very supportive and accepting wives.
    I may be crazy, but I'm BURIED in your memory!

  22. #22
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Jul 2006
    Syracuse, NY
    Lucky you didn't have a heart attack.

  23. #23
    Gold Member Helen_Highwater's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2010
    Midlands UK

    The closest I ever came ended up with me dressed on one side of a door and my SO on the other with me holding the door shut. Thankfully it was during the run in to Christmas and I told here she couldn't come in, not unless she wanted to see her Christmas present early. Thankfully she went away and I had a few moments to change. Had she insisted then I guess that would have been a Christmas present to remember.

    Funny thing is as I sit here typing in the small bedroom that was my office when I worked from home I heard my SO coming up the stairs and had to do a quick switch over to Excel so she couldn't see what I was doing. Oh what a tangled web we weave.

    I must admit that coming out does hold a certain allure. The notion of being free to dress is so appealing. Trouble is the outcome is by no means certain and ending up in a DADT relationship could be just as constricting and have real negative complications for the marriage.
    Who dares wears Get in, get out without being noticed

  24. #24
    Member Dana3's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2012
    Hindsight being 20/20 and at 62, I can look back and see that I should have never married.

    A child of the late 50's ~ 60's, I was ALMOST caught by my Dad, while wearing my Sisters Bra and panties.

    A couple of times by my 1st wife

    I "fessed" up to the 1st Wife. Things quickly went South from there, as she basically strung me a long, while she went "Husband Shopping"

    A long time, lived with Girlfriend. In my inept effort to "explain" at the dawn of the Internet, I basically convinced her (In her mind) that I was TS vs your everyday CD'r

    Current wife? I told her before we got together.
    Again the day before we got married and have breached the subject.

    Have gone from it's "No Big Deal", " I'm not going to divorce you because your a cross dresser" to:

    "What you do on your own time and privately isn't on me. Privately meaning just you."


    "What you do in private is your business....I don't have to know."


    "I need a man"

    Her health is declining, so I don't push the issue.

    I own nothing feminine. I don't dress on any level. I live through reading here and reading ~ surfing the internet.

  25. #25
    Member Sandi Beech's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2019
    Southeast US
    Julia I can relate for sure. One time I thought I was home alone for the afternoon. I was dressed in a bunch of black lingerie with thigh highs on. One of my kids pops in the house like 2 hours early from school and was already in the house before I noticed.. I ducked into my bedroom before I was seen and instinctively jumped into the shower, clothes on. I just made out like I was taking a shower assuming no one would want to go in. That was a number of years ago but I was really panicked to the core.


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