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Thread: I took a quiz yesterday and the results weren?t a surprise but now what?

  1. #1
    Member Star01's Avatar
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    I took a quiz yesterday and the results weren?t a surprise but now what?

    I took an online test yesterday on another CD/TG site. I let down my "manliness shield" and answered the questions openly and honestly as suggested in the instructions. There were several times I had to stop and ask myself who?s answer I was selecting, my manliness shield side or my true feelings side. For example, it asked something to the effect of "do you sometimes cry for no reason while watching movies?" Yes I do, my wife laughs at me when I do that because I'm more emotional than she is when I watch movies but my manliness shield answer would have downplayed and neutered it so as not to give an accurate result. In the past I?d have probably lied to myself and answered no so that I wouldn?t be forced by the results to contemplate any changes.

    The test results specified that I am considered a "late onset transexual" and that I have a "strong degree of dysphoria" and that I could be considered a candidate for HRT as a treatment option. Before the more experienced caution me to stand back, take a deep breath and cool my jets I?ll save you the trouble by making it clear that I do take this very seriously and am taking an analytical and cautious approach as I do with all of life's important decisions. I do appreciate all of your experience and helpful comments though.

    I realize that a quiz on a website is not the definitive answer to my angst but it's as if all of the pieces are falling in place and leaving me with more questions. As a result of my test results I searched for therapists and found a woman who is highly regarded in the areas of childhood trauma and gender dysphoria and she accepts my insurance. My wife has encouraged me to go to counseling in the past for my angst so seeing as trauma is one of this therapist?s specialties I can use the angst and reinventing myself a year and a half after retirement as my reasons for going. That should buy me some time to go to a few sessions to understand myself and hopefully unpack and sort things out enough to start developing a plan for the future, something my angst has prevented. As I mentioned in other threads, I came up during a time when therapy was called a ?shrink? and only the weak used their services so this is another big step for me.

    I don?t have an appointment setup and will probably wait until after the holidays but I am sending her a message and getting some information on payment and appointment availability.

  2. #2
    Seňora Member Robertacd's Avatar
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    The problem with these types of quizzes is you really have to answer them honestly not "like a girl" or "like a guy" would.

    It's too easy to get the answer you want to hear, it may make you feel good, but it is not necessarily the right answer.

    So my response to "Now what?, is to ignore this and move on.

    Seek professional help if you are having issues with yourself.
    Last edited by Robertacd; 12-10-2019 at 09:34 AM.

  3. #3
    Member Star01's Avatar
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    I thought that I made it clear that I'm trusting but verifying by getting some therapy soon so yes, that is what I'm going to do. Also I agree with you regarding online tests but I still need to get some insight and I won't repeat the timeline about my traumatic childhood but that is a large part of this as well. The only thing I know going in is that therapy won't cure me from dressing but might help shed some light on what path I should take. I didn't purposely answer questions in such a way to skew the results, I simply dropped my shield and spoke from the heart with no gender in mind. It didn't answer any questions, just made me want to talk to somebody without jumping to any conclusions.
    Last edited by Star01; 12-09-2019 at 03:49 PM.

  4. #4
    Silver Member Micki_Finn's Avatar
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    Online quizzes should all carry a caveat of “for entertainment purposes only”. In my opinion, if you need a test to tell you that you’re trans, you’re probably not. It’s even more disturbing that this online quiz is recommending treatment options. That’s a giant red flag to me, and a good indication that said quiz was probably NOT written by a mental health professional. Good on you for seeking therapy. You just need to try to get those quiz results out of your head, as something like that can cause confirmation bias. Just be open and honest with your therapist and let them do the diagnosis.

  5. #5
    Member Star01's Avatar
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    I'm sure that you would be familiar with the website but I've been around long enough to know that I should trust but verify. I had some other things I'd like to cover in therapy and my wife has been after me to try if for years so the test relates specifically to my crossdressing but is not the only thing I'm concerned about. Instead of referring to it as a test a more accurate description might have been questionnaire. It was referred to as the COGIATI on the website and they did make it clear that it was a guideline and people should refer to a therapist for any actual diagnosis. They did not prescribe specific treatments but merely categorized into various categories and listed what the common treatments are for people who fall into each.

    But a healthy bit of skepticism is always useful on the web. Or as the joke goes "it must be true, I saw it on the internet".
    Last edited by Star01; 12-09-2019 at 04:35 PM.

  6. #6
    Member Jessie Mae's Avatar
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    Star, when I first read your post, I had a good suspension of the website. I found that site and took that test as well.

    I'll admit, it the promises made about the test, and its results were very intriguing.

    When I did some research on the author, I deleted my results and bookmarks for that site.
    There seems to be considerable negatives regarding the author and her/his background and, dare I say, agenda.

    The validity of the test questions is also questionable.

    I can't remember any other specifics.
    Two penguins are standing on an ice floe.
    The first penguin says, "You look like you're wearing a tuxedo."
    And the second penguin says, "What makes you think I'm not?"

  7. #7
    Silver Member Micki_Finn's Avatar
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    COGIATI is trash. You might want to look into it more.

  8. #8
    Member Star01's Avatar
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    Thanks, COGIATI is an unfamiliar term that I didn't stop to research but still thought it might be interesting to go through the test and see where it ranked me. There are other reasons besides my crossdressing that I was thinking about trying therapy for so those are still my main motivations but my dressing definitely has to be a part of the composite whole that is me. I am going to follow through on it and see if I can't figure some things out and take the appropriate action if necessary.

  9. #9
    Silver Member giuseppina's Avatar
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    Hello Star

    Most, if not all, online tests have no clinical value. In other words, the results are nonsense until proven otherwise. The one question you posted looks a lot like stereotyping to me.

    I didn't do a search of your previous posts. One of the questions you can expect is along the lines of escapism from your troubled past. That, by itself, is a big red flag to me. I'm not a qualified therapist, but it seems to me the childhood trauma is best resolved before doing much with the transgenderism beyond accepting yourself as you are. I fully realise this is a lot easier said than done.

    I had a difficult childhood as well; I told my psychiatrist that a sex change is probably asking for trouble in my case. I've seen some material about the psychology of M2F transsexuals; the key stuff wasn't happening.

    JessieMae, you may want to completely clear your browser data: history, cookies, cache, and everything else.
    Cheers
    Giuseppina

  10. #10
    Silver Member Aunt Kelly's Avatar
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    Professional help is indicated. You have little to lose, and will likely gain a much better understanding of yourself if you approach the process with openness and honesty.
    Good on you for taking those first steps.
    "Being honest may not get you a lot of friends, but it will always get you the right ones."
    -- John Lennon

    https://groups.io/g/gno-houston

  11. #11
    Member Star01's Avatar
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    Thanks for all of your input, I'm taking all of your suggestions and observations to heart.

  12. #12
    Yeah Ok like whatever Tracii G's Avatar
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    Don't fall prey to online tests and take them as verbatim. They are very broad for a reason so people can read what they want out of them.
    I see so many young trans people fall victim to them and make life choices that aren't good choices.
    I have warned so many 20 something trans about this but they always tell me I am wrong and that I don't know what I am talking about.
    Pretty funny because I have known I was trans longer than most of them have been alive.
    I won't argue with them because kids need to make mistakes in order to learn from them.
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  13. #13
    Weirdest woman ever! docrobbysherry's Avatar
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    Star, you've taken the rite next step in my opinion. Getting professional help. But, I'm concerned about your prejudice toward counselors!
    I grew up in the era of shrinks myself. But, our family knew a few when I was young and I was impressed with their character, intentions, and knowledge.

    Over the years I've been to a number of them and gotten good results when I was open and honest with them. This included my admitting I crossdressed. Altho I had just started, in my 50's. She asked if it was causing issues in my life? It wasn't. So, we immediately moved on to the issues which were!

    Keep an open mind and speak honestly with your therapist and u may be happily surprised at the results!
    U can't keep doing the same things over and over and expect to enjoy life to the max. When u try new things, even if they r out of your comfort zone, u may experience new excitement and growth that u never expected.

    Challenge yourself and pursue your passions! When your life clock runs out, you'll have few or NO REGRETS!

  14. #14
    Brass Member Patience's Avatar
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    I don’t think internet quizzes should be taken seriously. I once took a quiz on the net and in the end, the results said I had bell-shaped boobs!
    ...and though she feels as if she is in a play, she is anyway...

  15. #15
    Member HelpMe,Rhonda's Avatar
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    I tried it for a giggle, it didn't tell me to do anything I wouldn't do.

    Didn't realize there is supposed to be a difference in being able to locate sounds, is that real?

  16. #16
    Platinum Blonde member Ressie's Avatar
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    it asked something to the effect of "do you sometimes cry for no reason while watching movies?"
    No, there has to be a reason that people cry while watching a movie. Good movies (and other art forms) should evoke emotions from those watching. I see the premise of that question as incorrect, making the entire test questionable.
    "You're the only one to see the changes you take yourself through", Stevie Wonder

  17. #17
    Member Star01's Avatar
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    Thank you all for your concern and suggestions. I am the type of person who considers all the options and makes informed decisions and am not so naive that I would consider an online quiz a valid diagnosis. My oldest daughter is a big advocate of therapy and her and my wife have been urging me to try it knowing some of the things I have dealt with without seeking help. My crossdressing is a big piece of the puzzle that is me so it definitely has to be on the table along with everything else.

    I will keep this conversation in mind and make a post about my therapy after I've been going for a while. It will be interesting to compare the online test results to the actual direction the therapy takes me.
    Last edited by Star01; 12-10-2019 at 05:22 PM.

  18. #18
    Yeah Ok like whatever Tracii G's Avatar
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    Do let us know how the therapy goes.
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  19. #19
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    You are right that an online quiz is a suggestion, not a definitive answer. Your next move should be to a counselor to explore your feelings in greater scope and depth. It will.take time to tease out your feelings from your authentic self, rather than those answers your male self or female self think are appropriate. The job of a good counselor is to bring your own feelings into view, not put ideas into your head.

  20. #20
    Member Star01's Avatar
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    There has been more going on with me for years that I haven't mentioned on here. I know that it probably looks like I was dropped out of the sky a few weeks ago but I have been down this rabbit hole my whole adult life. It's time for me to do something for myself and get some insight into this as it has been on my mind 24/7. I hope I'm wrong and ya'll can say "I told you so" as it's really nothing a person would wish upon themselves. I'm not sitting here at 68 years old trying to manipulate results so I can convince a therapist of something that would throw my life into chaos.

  21. #21
    AKA Lexi sometimes_miss's Avatar
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    These quizzes are for people who already know what answer they want. It's pretty simple to figure out how to answer the questions to get the results you desire. So consciously or subconsciously, anyone can get the result they like.
    Some causes of crossdressing you've probably never even considered: My TG biography at:http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/...=1#post1490560
    There's an addendum at post # 82 on that thread, too. It's about a ten minute read.
    Why don't we understand our desire to dress, behave and feel like a girl? Because from childhood, boys are told that the worst possible thing we can be, is a sissy. This feeling is so ingrained into our psyche, that we will suppress any thoughts that connect us to being or wanting to be feminine, even to the point of creating separate personalities to assign those female feelings into.

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