I was recently accused by well-meaning and generally supportive people in my life of "running away" from my "issues", thinking transition would solve them through some sort of magical thinking. Harsh stuff, right? I've explained the concept of gender identity being determined and hard-wired in the womb and get an "Okay, I understand but. . ."
I'll be honest, there may be some truth to the accusation. There are things in my life I'd just as soon put in a box marked "Dave" and bury it someplace in the woods. But the dysphoria is real and dealing with gender identity in a proactive manner with presentation, hormones and possible surgeries is as responsible and realistic as anything else in my life. While attempting to satisfy the needs of gender identity, there is baggage associated with my life to this point that may, or may not, go away as I transition. And even if those issues fail to go away, I think my improved mental health and self image might make me a little stronger and better able to deal with them. I also explain in many of the examples used are issues unrelated to my my gender identity or expression and are being handled already. That argument quickly becomes one about how society deals with Transgender people and not about me. Round and round it goes.
So I'm back to data gathering. I'm making the effort to deal with what I see as misconceptions in the eyes of persons I care about and would prefer not to lose from my life. How much of your transition was the Pull of needing to be your target gender and how much was Push from all the stuff that had accumulated and seen to represent your gender assigned at birth? Was it even a consideration and if it was, might it represent reality or just their wish for us to feel guilty for something they could no longer control? I'm feeling like I'm allowing them to have too much influence on my life. Should I just understand the wisdom from "Field of Dreams", if I build it, they will come?
What am I missing? How can I identify anything that may be valid in their argument?
