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Thread: I want to tell my story to someone

  1. #1
    New Member
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    I want to tell my story to someone

    Hi all! I'm very new here. Closeted, straight crossdresser with a great wife and kids. I can't tell you how important it is that I remain closeted. My livelihood depends upon it.

    However, I'm looking for some people to help me figure out what's been going on in my mind and body my entire life. I have a need to meet with some other crossdressers in person and tell my story. I also have a need to present myself to others and just tell SOMEONE my story. I've never been able to tell it.

    I hope this isn't outside the acceptable boundaries of this forum, but I hope to meet up with some other crossdressers and/or accepting folks and just enjoy some time sharing. I'm going on a solo vacation in 29 Palms, CA on January 26 and would like to meet with someone and just talk, spill my guts to someone willing to listen. Is that you? I'm so tired of feeling so alone. Please let me know.

  2. #2
    Member Jasmine Jones NZ's Avatar
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    Hi Ashley,
    Firstly, welcome to the forum. I’m several thousand kilometres away so no good for meeting up but if you want you can message me on here.
    The great thing with this forum is that due that there are members all over the world so chances are there is someone close to you. Another great thing is that chances are there are many different people that have been through what you are going through therefore there is a lot of experience, advice and assistance you can draw upon.
    Best of luck.

  3. #3
    Silver Member Aunt Kelly's Avatar
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    Two words, sweetie. "Support Group"

  4. #4
    Senior Member michelleddg's Avatar
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    Hi Ashley,

    Welcome! You'll be about 2.5 hours from Los Angeles and 3 hours from Las Vegas. Can you take a bit of time and travel? Both cities have champions who can chat with you. Please share your time and travel flexibility and I'd be happy to provide specific leads. Hugs, Michelle

  5. #5
    its important mykell's Avatar
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    morning ashley, found this, https://pflag.org/chapter/pflag-riverside, had a contact number.

    this is a comfortable place for us to share and learn about ourselves, that said get to posting some ideas and when you have 10 posts you dashboard opens up and then you will have access to communicate with folks here.

    some friendly folks out in california, maybe someone would be willing to meet you,

    welcome to the group....
    ....Mykell
    i dressed like a girl and i liked it! crossdressing...theirs an app for that

  6. #6
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    Welcome I second finding a support group in your area.
    Don't assume there isn't one in you city or town because you have never heard of one.
    Chances are the is one and its been there for quite some time.
    You can spill your guts out there and make some friends.

  7. #7
    Senior Member GretchenM's Avatar
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    Welcome to the forum and one of the best places to spill your feelings out and get help and support from others.

    I know exactly what you are feeling and being able to talk to others and get ideas about what is going on with you is so very important. I think your idea of a get together with one person is a good one, but that is kind of limiting because we are all so different. Aunt Kelly's suggestion of a support group is about as good as it gets. Those groups usually have rules about keeping things private and within the group so as to to adversely affect someone else's desire to keep it all very private. That is where I started with my coming out in 2012 after a lifetime of doing just what you describe. I also went to therapy, but I think the support group was more helpful. The fact is in many types of therapy, using the two together is the most effective. And it is private and confidential.

    In a group you get to hear many different points of view, can freely present your thoughts and difficulties and get face to face help from many who have been there and done that. There are lots of us in California and perhaps someone from there can meet with you one on one. I'm in Colorado. In the meantime, keep posting here, get to 10 posts and your the blinders will be removed. You will find a whole new world here with welcoming people who can really help you along. But it is also up to you to reach out to the community of people like yourself who are often as "lonesome" as you are. Share, share, share. Learn, learn, learn.

  8. #8
    Silver Member Sandi Beech's Avatar
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    Hi Ashley, I am clear across the country, but just want to add that many of us can relate. It would not go well for me to attempt to dress around family or for anyone I work with to know. It does help talking about it to someone for sure.

    Sandi

  9. #9
    Silver Member Micki_Finn's Avatar
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    Your odds of finding someone to meet up with in 29 Palms is pretty slim. It’s basically a podunk town in the middle of nowhere. You might be able to find something in Palm Springs which isn’t too far away and has a vibrant LGBTQ scene. Or if you don’t mind driving a bit, LA is about 2 1/2-3 hours away.

  10. #10
    Gold Member Alice Torn's Avatar
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    Western males have been brainwashed into being stoic, quiet, macho football player type, not allowed to show feelings much. Girls are allowed to be anything they want. Males are "straightjacketed" in ways females are not. It is no wonder so many boys and men are ending their lives so much. And, no wonder, that so many are exploring feminine sides, dressing. Males, need to be allowed to be gentle, colorful, sensitive, too, and still be , and be considered real men, balanced. Some areas, there are no support groups. In your situation, you need to keep balanced, and not let the pink fog overwhelm you. Your commitment to your wife and offspring and their welfare comes before your desire to dress. We all have to learn that we are not the center of the universe, and life was not meant to be fun all the time. Trade offs, compromises, conflicts, and pain, are meant to build character in us. like it or not. Hang in there, easy does it.
    One day at a time. Therapy can help sometimes.
    Last edited by Alice Torn; 12-23-2019 at 11:12 AM.

  11. #11
    Member Victoria_Winters's Avatar
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    Hey. I live in the great white north of North Dakota. I know the feeling about having to be closeted to maintain your livelihood. If you ever want to talk or present you can shoot me a pm and maybe we can talk via Discord/Skype. May it be in person but we can still talk sorta face to face.

  12. #12
    Female Illusionist! docrobbysherry's Avatar
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    Ashley, u mite consider visiting one of the T girl gathering events around the country.

    I'm a closet dresser. But, have been attending T events in LA, Vegas, and other states. All miles from my home in the OC, SoCal. Never dress near home. But, I've met 100's of T's from all over the world the last 10 years!
    With no chance of being outed!

    Google: Viva WildSide and Diva Las Vegas for their 2020 schedules in Vegas! Come and party with the most fun girls u will ever meet!
    And, tell your story and listen to theirs!
    U can't keep doing the same things over and over and expect to enjoy life to the max. When u try new things, even if they r out of your comfort zone, u may experience new excitement and growth that u never expected.

    Challenge yourself and pursue your passions! When your life clock runs out, you'll have few or NO REGRETS!

  13. #13
    Gold Member
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    Welcome to the Forum;
    I live in Illinois, so I am a little far away to meet up.
    However, if you ever come to Chicago, well give me a shout.
    Rader

  14. #14
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    Welcome to your new home of great sisters. I also live in Orange County, CA. Are we close?
    If you are interested in attending Diva Las Vegas, let me know and I'll send you info.

  15. #15
    Senior Member mbmeen12's Avatar
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    First your not alone.....Great start by joining forum. It will be a fun ride with many emotional speed bumps.
    Escapism isn't necessarily bad, but is definitely unhealthy in the long term. While helpful in the short term, things will degrade over time. At some point, the escapee will have to face the issue. Things simply blowing over isn't really going to happen in many situations.

  16. #16
    🙊🙈🙉 Patience's Avatar
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    It is highly unfeminine to agree to meet strangers from the internet, not least of all those who ask to meet other strangers on their very first and only post.

    Getting in touch with a support group is a very good idea. Well worth it. Good luck.
    When haters hate, I celebrate!

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