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Thread: Best friend figured out I was a MtF crossdresser

  1. #1
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    Best friend figured out I was a MtF crossdresser

    My best friend in the past 3 years that I have been crossdressing had asked me if I was into it. I denied it each time, because I did not know how it would affect our friendship, this despite the fact that he said it was my life and he wouldn't think any different of me, as long as I did not hit on him.
    The conversation started when we were talking about going to Scarborough Renaissance Festival next year. I explained to him how I wanted to go and do something on my own, but my other friends did not want to separate when we went back in May. What did I want to do? I wanted to see about purchasing 1 of the ladies' outfits, primarily the princess outfit they had, and naturally I did not want my friends to know I was a crossdresser.
    Once again he asked if I liked to crossdress, and again I denied it. The next thing he told me sealed the deal.... He told me his brother, whom I had already known was gay, liked to crossdress too, and that he was actually trying to become a Drag Queen. After confirming that he was ok with someone being a crossdresser, I decided now was the time to tell him that I was indeed a crossdresser. Everything is working out fine, and he said he was ok with it as long as I do not go out with him dressed up. I asked him if he had suspicions about me earlier, and he said that he thought there was a decent possibility that I did crossdress. But he did not want to push the subject just in case he was wrong.
    As for my other friends, they are very good friends and we've been hanging out together a long time. But I know they will not accept something like this and that is ok with me, I respect everyone's opinions, so I will not be coming out to them.

  2. #2
    Girl about Town Jodie_Lynn's Avatar
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    I'm happy to hear that your friend is supportive, although not interested in being involved.

    As for your other friends, if they cannot accept you, warts and all (including CD-ing) are they truly your friends?
    Before you can love another, you must first like yourself

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  3. #3
    Senior Member Jean 103's Avatar
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    Well I guess it is your life, still how much does this mean to you?

    If they can't accept you or anyone else, are these really the kind of people you want as friends?


    I can understand your friend not wanting to be seen with you. It's a male - female thing. As two guys it's ok to hang out, your friends aren't likely to think anything of it. But as boy - girl it starts looking like a date. So your friend would have to be very secure with who he is. In a group situation there would be no association like that.

    As part of a group a person can show support without looking like he wants to date you.

    Again it is your life and I respect your choice to keep this private. Still you can't truly know how everyone would be without giving them a chance.

    I haven't found very many people I can't win over, sometimes it takes a little time. Yes even a group of red necks that hang out at one end of the bar. They think I'm brave for being and dressing how I do, so I have gained their respect. They have told me so many times. It's not bravery, it is lack of fear, as I don't see anything to be afraid of.

    Merry Christmas

    Love Jean

  4. #4
    Platinum Member Angie G's Avatar
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    At least you have one friend who knows.
    Angie

  5. #5
    Senior Member Tracy Irving's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by RainbowDash View Post
    My best friend in the past 3 years that I have been crossdressing had asked me if I was into it. I denied it each time
    Of all my friends that know nothing of my crossdressing, none of them have ever asked me if I am into crossdressing. Maybe they aren't very observant or maybe there is nothing to look for but, quite possibly, there is no reason for anyone to be observant of nothing to look for.

  6. #6
    Member MonicaPVD's Avatar
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    And then she remembered the word the Goddess of Pink Fog had spoken to her: "Before the rooster crows today, you will disown me three times."

    You told your buddy that you were looking forward to spending a considerable amount of money to purchase a woman's outfit with which to attend an escapist gathering. Your friend must be some kind of genius to have concluded so quickly that you are a crossdresser. 🙂

  7. #7
    Aspiring Member GretchenM's Avatar
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    Honesty from the start is actually the safest route. Unfortunately, it is not necessarily that easy to follow. Most of us have a long history of feeling shameful about what we do and some never escape that trap. Took me almost 60 years. But when it is out in the open your life changes. You may lose some friends who, well, maybe weren't such good friends, or just reject this behavior on principle. We are all different. The truth is that nobody should reject someone else just because they are "different." But humans are tribal and allegiances to ideologies reign very high in many people's lives. Looks like your friend is a good friend. If you are not a full time trans person or crossdresser I don't think one can or should expect friends to necessarily desire to see you in feminine mode. Friendship is a two way street and there are always boundaries. That can be too personal for some and beyond workable boundaries. It's OK. The world does not revolve around our needs and to maintain good relationships boundaries are important. As Robert Frost said, "Good fences make good neighbors."

  8. #8
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    Friends are not just people to hang out with. Friends are an asset. Life is much harder without friends, especially when times are tough... believe me I know. I wouldn't be so quick to encourage her to get rid of friends just because they happen not to be into her dressing. I am sure they have other things in common. If she was fulltime I could see issues but if it is just an occasional thing they don't have to be into her dressing.

  9. #9
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    These friends have been my friends for about 20 years now, and we share many things in common. They have said they think its weird for a man to dress like a woman, but that its his life. I respect that, and since I am in the closet, I will not be coming out to them. Even if I did come out of the closet, I would not hang out with them dressed up as a woman. The world is changing, and the world is becoming more accepting of us. But I will not end a friendship because of a difference of opinion, whether its crossdressing, politics, etc. My best friend and I basically have an understanding that things will go on as usual as they have the past 20 years, and that nothing has changed. I'm still the exact same person, I still like the same things I've always loved, and its that simple.

  10. #10
    Yeah Ok like whatever Tracii G's Avatar
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    It varies with the person friend or not when it comes to acceptance.
    I had old friends accept and some that were totally grossed out over my change as they call it even tho' I still have guy bits.
    Head Executive Chief of the Dept of Redundancy Dept.
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  11. #11
    Gold Member alwayshave's Avatar
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    RainbowDash, I cannot see my best friend ever accepting my crossdressing nor do I ever see divulging that information.
    Please call me Jamie, I always_have crossdressed, I always will, "alwayshave".

  12. #12
    Aspiring Member Sabrina133's Avatar
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    Rainbow - kind of makes me wonder how your friend suspected that you were CD. Have you ever asked him?

    Bree

  13. #13
    Silver Member Bobbi46's Avatar
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    I have lost a few friends with coming out but on the whole life is still good, one just has to take the rough with the smooth. A true friend will remain a true friend.
    I started life a lost man now I am a found woman

  14. #14
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    Hi RD , That is what you call a true friend for sure. >Orchid ..0)..
    Having my ears triple pierced is AWESOME, ~~......

    I can explain it to you, But I can't comprehend it for you !

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  15. #15
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    He has been a very good friend for 20 years. And he's been totally accepting of my crossdressing. Yesterday when we were walking around in the mall, we passed a shop that specializes in wedding gowns and other types of floor length dresses, the lowest price on these being somewhere around $300. I asked if he would mind if I went inside and looked around and he said no, but then changed my mind because we were catching a movie. So I decided I would do that another time.

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