There have always been a number of threads about shopping in male mode, going to a wig salon, shaving legs etc. but a couple of recent ones made me reflect on the advice given in those threads so here's my 2 or 3 cents worth.

I have always appreciated the advice I have received here but I think we always have to be aware, as in many things discussed here, the spectrum of people's comfort zones can be huge.

It's fine to say no one or the SAs care if you are buying women's clothes or to go ahead and shave your legs as no one will notice but it doesn't change the fact for some people they will find doing those things are outside their comfort zone and can be stressful.

From personal experience I know most SAs don't care if you are buying women's clothes but it is naive to think some of them are not suspicious. In a Winners store (similar to TJMaxx) I was shopping for some housewares years ago when I spotted a separate rack featuring some gorgeous royal blue Liz Claiborne cocktail dresses with a cute crinoline to make the skirt flare out. I couldn't resist and as I quickly pulled a size 16 off the rack a lady came over to me and said it was great seeing a man confident enough to look and but something like that for his wife. I still do not know if she was being honest or nicely trying to say I know it's for you and there's nothing wrong with that. Coincidentally when I took it to a young male SA he said something indicating he thought the dress was for me. I answered back no, but I think it's more your colour. So, even if a SA doesn't say something it doesn't mean they are not thinking it.

I have been in a wig salon and the SA did her best to relax me. I have bought high heel shoes at Payless. I have bought a bustier in a big department store at Christmas. I have shaved my legs and and arms many times. I have done the stealth shopping by using self checkout or putting cosmetics or pantyhose in a shopping cart with other items. I have gone dress shopping with my wife helping to pick out dresses and then her paying for them while I hovered nearby. I have done all of those things but it doesn't mean I have become comfortable with it or still don't find it stressful.

I guess what I am saying is it is easy to tell someone to "just do it" because you are comfortable doing it but you do have to respect that for individuals such as myself it is not always so easy.

Sorry for the soapbox speech,
Happy New Year
Danielle