Ya know, I don't particularly like hanging out with other crossdressers, it's not really my thing. I'd rather not share the attention. And forget about support groups and GNO get togethers. I know this sounds bad but I don't want to hang out with bad crossdressing. I'd rather hang out with just regular people in regular situations and places.
Just my opinion.
💋✌❤
Gerri
No its not bad its just what you prefer to do.
I gave up on the support group long ago because they were basically jerks if you didn't believe the same as they did.
Personally I don't want to be around a bunch of self serving narcissistic jack asses.
Same goes with Weight Watchers that group was so judgmental it wasn't funny.
Walked in and not even a hello but the moderator asked why are you here? I said the same reason you are looks like.
That quip didn't help any but I got my point across.
One of the ladies there laughed under her breath so we became friends right off. Even went out for ice cream after the meeting to celebrate.How is that for being a rebel ? lol
Regular people are so much easier to be around.
I am of the same mind. Except for my best friend who is also a CD, I avoid the same situations.
I get that. A number of my trans friends don't attend big get together in Vegas anymore because we take over everywhere we go!
I often go off by myself at these trans affairs so I can mix with GG's. Most of them r vacationing, there to have fun, and r curious and accepting of trans by themselves or with one or 2 others!
U can't keep doing the same things over and over and expect to enjoy life to the max. When u try new things, even if they r out of your comfort zone, u may experience new excitement and growth that u never expected.
Challenge yourself and pursue your passions! When your life clock runs out, you'll have few or NO REGRETS!
This is very much how I felt in relation to the support groups that I visited.Originally Posted by Tracii G
I know clubs have rules but support groups should maybe be a little different and 'members' should not be forced to act or dress a certain way (within reason) if they are not comfortable with that if indeed the prime function is support rather than something else.
However rather than cause friction I left the group which was a shame as some of the support given in the early days was very worthwhile.
I also acknowledge the effort involved in setting up and running a support group and that it must be challenging so respect the folks that give their time to do that.
Lots of Love Lilly xx
Not me in the avatar but the lovely Jenny Powell who I loved so much
My experience with TCNE has been very positive. There is a mix of people at all levels of the gender spectrum, and I have not noticed any one group trying to lord it over another. As with any group, there is internal politics, but there are enough seasoned reasonable people in the group to keep us aware that there is more that we share than there is that divides us.
Even though I am "just a crossdresser" I have formed friendships with transitioning and fully transitioned women, to the extent that we will occasionally meet and socialize outside of the club.
I am a vessel of the goddess. Let me express my calling to a feminine life through nurturing love and relatedness.
Allie, I specifically stated Crossdressers in my first sentence, If I meant Transgender I would have said that.
I apologize for missing that in your first sentence. However, my comments on disparaging others on this site still stand whether a crossdresser or anyone else.
Look, there are a lot of people that I really don't like how they look, including many cisgender people. I wouldn't want to associate with them. Just like what you said in your first post here. No problem.
However, always try to never talk down about them online or in any other way. I especially do not like it when people do it on a support site like this. That is the reason for my comments about that here.
Majella,
I feel it's a natural progression for some of us , going to social meetings and meeting others helps find ourselves and build confidence , we mustn't also forget for some it's their only outlet for a few brief hours . Maybe we shouldn't totally walk away as they still need support and help .
I'm not sure if I concern myself over sharing the attention and as for deciding what is " bad crossdressing " some people choose to be different , who can say which is right or wrong .
I'm not knocking your comments as I do agree with the sentiment , I feel at ease and comfortable just being in the RW , I do sometimes go out with a TS friend but it really is like two GGs doing some shopping and having a coffee .
Maybe it does touch on passability but I'm more inclined to say it's based on our acceptance level and what you want to represent ourselves as .
Last edited by Teresa; 12-29-2019 at 05:29 AM.
I know, I perfer to be the only transgender person in a room.
Being by yourself is different than being with even one other TG.
When I was first going out I wanted to find a TG friend to hangout with. This didn't happen, instead I made friends with GGs, the best thing that could have happened to me.
In the process I became Jean. I don't think of myself as being defined by gender. As my friends and I say I'm "just Jean".
As I represent female I follow society's and/or my friends (GGs) rules governing such. I'm more looking for my friends approval, this doesn't mean I follow them, on the contrary, I have my own style. Which if you think about it is just like most women.
I don't think of myself as being TG or defined by gender. I'm out and have developed my own set of rules to try and maintain my sanity.
By being with even one other TG person you are being defined by gender, that is why I perfer to be by myself.
Sorry if that sounds confusing, I want to be seen and treated as a woman, not a hyphenated person.
Last edited by Jean 103; 12-29-2019 at 07:19 AM.
Exactly !
It SURE is my hair ! I have the receipt and the box it came in !
I agree With Jean and Ro I am a lot like that too.
I have always preferred to do my own thing.
The support group I attended really helped me a lot in the beginning.
Then all the ultra tranny activists types took over.
Even one of the older ladies that started the group left because she didn't like the direction it was going.
Last edited by Tracii G; 12-29-2019 at 12:24 PM.
I can understand how you feel Majella, having attended a CD/TG conference myself and in my short time as a member of the TG community. Even though there is safety in numbers, going out in big groups actually draws more unwanted attention. Once we have our own style, ability, and the confidence to go out in public, we don't want to be held back by or thought of as just some guy in a dress.
Therein lies the beginning of the big rift in our community, and it only gets larger as we progress on our journey, specially when that journey leads us to TG/TS.
We all have to remember that we were all once that "ugly duckling" we are trying do distance ourselves from.
As for support groups... Well they are only as good as the people who attend. I go to a TG support group occasionally and they are a really nice group of people. I have to say they are often telling the same old stories and discussing the same old issues over and over again. Just like hereBut I am happy to have met every single one of these people, as I really like having trans friends
I think I can relate. I will have conversations with any friendly people in bars and clubs, but I mostly enjoy GG companionship. I just don?t run into that many CDs. I did spend one evening sitting with another CD in El Paso at the Touch Bar this year, but that was the only time. I have met some drag performers , but they typically come in just to perform instead of sitting at the bar and dancing with the patrons. I have a lot in common with others here and like to share experiences, but I would probably rather hang out with GGs instead of going to a CD only event.
Sandi
I am also a lone crossdresser. I had to do my learning and confidence building before this site came along, and found the old Trannyguide invaluable. I also phoned shops before going to try things on. Then the experience that changed my life. Only the second time I had gone out dressed in public was a short holiday in London, and I got my colours and style done as a woman. Huge confidence boost. And for me it is about the clothes, and this enabled me to move into a different league for presentation. I have had the occasional drink with a crossdresser and didn't take to them - we don't all come from the same place here and you are not automatically going to get on with someone just because you both crossdress. I prefer the company of women and have women friends I socialise with and exchange ideas with. I am a member of a couple of Facebook groups associated with the stylists I used and I am the only male member. These ladies give me wonderful advice and feedback. So why am I on here? I like the observations about crossdressers in society and I suppose there is an element of leading by example - I rarely give direct advice. I say what works for me in the hope that someone somewhere out there might find it of value. And sometimes those of us who do not identify as women feel less than welcome here. I actually find my ladies in the Facebook groups more tolerant and positive than some of the characters on here.
I guess we all have different definitions of "Bad cross dressing". There's a tendency to critique or praise each other's appearance. That's fine, but I'm not for setting rules on what other CDs should wear.
One thing about our support group is that other than CDing - we all come from different walks of life. There are good and bad points to this. After a few years I realize that others in the group have become good friends!
For the record, I've only gone out solo a couple of times and haven't been out much with other CDs either.
"You're the only one to see the changes you take yourself through", Stevie Wonder
My post refers to Crossdressers not people who are Transgendered. There is a difference, CD's "might " be under the Transgender umbrella but they are miles apart. All the Transgender people I know would hit the roof if you referred to them as a crossdresser.
As this is supposedly the crossdressing section of this crossdressing forum, I think it would be obvious that I was referring to Crossdressers. I personally stay off the Transgender section because I do not belong there. Why are there different sections then?
It's a two way street honey... Why do so many crossdressers hit the roof when you refer to them as transgender?
This is the problem with trying to adhere to labels, Crossdresser just like Transgender is an umbrella term that really covers anyone that enjoys wearing the clothing of the opposite gender for whatever reason, including being transgender.
Overall the problem with labels is we tend to use them to justify and differentiate ourselves from others we feel superior to.
Last edited by Robertacd; 12-31-2019 at 09:53 PM.
I've been dressing for as long as I can remember (30+ years?) and have flown solo pretty much for all that time. I've contacted a handful of other crossdressers over the years through Flickr, Facebook, Instagram but whenever I've gone out I've been on my own. I'm open to meeting up with other CD's but, due to my limited windows of dressing opportunities, its been difficult to coordinate. As for support groups, I never really felt the need to contact any but I can understand why others might need to. I've personally never been troubled or bothered by what I do except for the amount of money I've spent over the years <sigh>.
Majella,
It was not obvious that you were talking about crossdressers. This section is not exclusive to crossdressers only. It is the main general forum for the site where everyone can post on a wide variety of topics. If you want your posts to be specific to somebody under that transgender umbrella, then it is better to be more specific in your OP. As far as my comments go, they apply to everyone, including non trans people. We regularly get reminded by the admins/mods here to not disparage anyone for whatever reason. I feel the same way here and everywhere and was directing my comments to you based on your quoted comments above. I respect you and how you dress and enjoy your super short and sometimes wild outfits that you use when DJing. I mean nothing personal to you, except for those words that I quoted.
One more thing. I cut my baby teeth on this site 6 years before you joined up and it has helped me get to where I am at. I definitely know the differences and wide variation of the members and identification terminology on this site. I rarely hit the roof for anything and I have gone from beginning crossdresser to a full time transexual woman. I would guess that most transsexual women on this site would also not hit the roof either. Some from a few years ago might have a did a few times. They have moved on. Though I probably have encountered more out in the real world. Happy New Year ..... Allie
By bad crossdressing I mean, just slapping on an old costume wig, some horrible caftan a Halloween makeup job and call it crossdressing. Make a little effort. Take some pride in your appearance. Be better.
Last edited by char GG; 12-29-2019 at 07:35 PM. Reason: Per rule: Ridiculing members/non-members, or the manner in which they express themselves. This includes any complaint about t
I guess some of us just aren't trans enuff, r we!?
I have met with a number of, "Just throw on a dress, no wig, no forms, no make up", T's. As I recall? They were all lovely people!
U can't keep doing the same things over and over and expect to enjoy life to the max. When u try new things, even if they r out of your comfort zone, u may experience new excitement and growth that u never expected.
Challenge yourself and pursue your passions! When your life clock runs out, you'll have few or NO REGRETS!
Being Trans and being a crossdresser are two different thingsI guess some of us just aren't trans enuff, r we!?
I have met with a number of, "Just throw on a dress, no wig, no forms, no make up", T's. As I recall? They were all lovely people!
Not always. You could be both like me. Most here would likely think of me as T-whatever, but technically I'm a CD.
You could also be one without being the other.
Well... Sure but in my case being a Crossdresser was just a lie I told everyone including myself because I didn't want to be Transgender.
People have come up with all kinds of reasons why they CD. But I honestly believe that if you weren't trans, you would have never had the original urge to CD and then continue to act on it.
Last edited by Robertacd; 12-31-2019 at 09:28 PM.
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