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Thread: 2019 tick tock.

  1. #1
    Silver Member Helen_Highwater's Avatar
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    2019 tick tock.

    So, how's your year been? Any milestones, ticked any boxes, achieved any goals?

    For me I can?t think of anything momentous. Yes I?ve made certain advances but they've been more about refining things I've done in years past. I now have a firm image of my style, of how I want to present to the world. Nothing radical has changed; it?s just that I know what works and what doesn't in terms of presenting as a woman of my age. If anything I?ve broadened my scope as opposed to narrowing it. I saw what mature ladies could wear and not look out of place as long as boundaries weren't pushed to hard.

    My confidence has grown but in a subtle way. I had no problems with being out and about, interacting with SA's or members of the public. Happy using public transport, dining out, shopping, going to the cinema. The only way I can put it is I'm that bit less self-conscious. It's more "me", the person and not someone pretending to be someone else. I suppose a tangible indication of this is that I went out in the day in modest heels, not worried by me being that little bit taller. The look surpassed that.

    I was lucky in that I've met even more members of the forum this year. That is always something to celebrate and hopefully I'll either renew acquaintances and or make new ones in the year to come.

    One mini step forward was creating a femme identity at an online retailer and then using click and collect in store. In might not seem much but having all the paperwork, the emails, all the things needed to collect the items in person in a femme name for me added to my identity. Looking forward hopefully this coming year I'll obtain a debit or credit card in the same name. I hope you can understand but I feel it's a way of showing that Helen exists in her own right free of a drab existence, not reliant on "his" plastic, a hard identity all can see, something tangible, and a legal presence.

    Other pluses are being able to put on my makeup in 20 or so minutes and not the hour plus it used to take, and for it to be much more suitably done. Well I think so.

    One thing I have noticed since my 7 days away in November is that I've started to tuck much more. If in the past I was dressed I?d tuck but for the majority of drab time no. Whether it's partially down to underdressing in thick tights with the advent of the colder weather or a desire to connect to my femme side more I'm unsure. I do know that being tucked has become as natural as not to the point I'm unaware of which state I'm in.

    Goals for the coming year? Well of course, lose weight. Firstly, as I get older, to aid my general health but also to improve my overall presentation. Thankfully I'm not that heavy but it won't hurt to lose a few pounds. Also now being so much more comfortable with being out dressed I want to do it and present as well as I possibly can. I want to be one of those who folks say of, "She's looking good for her age"

    Beyond that getting out and about a bit more would be nice but that would involve major domestic change and while it's more possible than before it's still not something I've made a firm commitment to address.

    So, how's your year been? Any milestones, ticked any boxes, achieved any goals, plans?
    Last edited by Helen_Highwater; 12-29-2019 at 12:11 PM.
    Who dares wears Get in, get out without being noticed

  2. #2
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    My year has progressed in a negative way. My wife and I are in a "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" marriage. She has not uttered a word in decades. She fully retired this school year. She had been working part time which meant full days whenever she wanted. Sort of cherry picking the jobs as they became available. That afforded me an entire day to be en femme and do the "June Cleaver" domestic chore thing; washing, ironing, vacuuming, changing linens on the beds, baking, meal preparation, etc. Now? She has volunteered to babysit of grandchild over night at our daughter's home which is 35 miles away. She has volunteered an overnight stay for New Year's Eve which will give me Stephanie time. She did this once in the fall. In the past, including this year, she has gone to visit an out of state cousin for a week or more. I reported on that in the spring. It was great to have more than a full week of 24/7 time. Her cousin seems to be progressing downward with the beginning stages of Alzheimer's disease. It looks as if those trips will decrease in length or stop in their entirety.

    I'm sure I am not the only retiree who will experience diminished opportunity of personal time.

  3. #3
    Platinum Member Teresa's Avatar
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    Helen,
    It's just been a natural progression of being out in the RW , so many know now the problems get less and less . The high point is possibly rejoining my art group as Teresa and making inroads back into my old home town . Meeting people that knew me in male mode is possibly the hardest part but so far no real problems .

    As for 2020 I'd like to travel more, my bucket list still has a cruise as Teresa to tick off .

    I started using a femme name faily quickly back in 2019 , not only with retailers but also my GP, blood donations and Specsavers for glasses and hearing aids .

    I also agree knowing the right amount of makeup and learning to apply it in a few minutes is almost a necessity .
    The real me ,no going back.

  4. #4
    Member Lilly Diadem's Avatar
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    2019 has been interesting.

    I am a self confessed serial CD but admission that I am unable to change my feelings or needs has always been tough.
    After managing to temper the urge to dress for some months the annual 'Black Dog' came a little later this year but when it did finally come the fog was very thick and didn't clear.

    This year the same as the last few years I've had the full support of my Wife to work through the fog and out of the other side but where we have become clearer is the willingness to accept dressing as part of my life so that famine and feast becomes a thing of the past; I guess it has always been my denial of this part of me that has kept the cyclical nature of binge dressing then abstinence going.

    Regular dressing is now encouraged, my legs are kept shaven and with my toe nails receive a gel coat every couple of weeks with my finger nails painted when possible and practical - an unexpected benefit of your Wife being a trained beauty therapist but not practising for the day job.

    Despite a no wig or make up agreement I have been handed a (new) lipstick today that matches my very pink finger nails and I had a douse of JPG perfume last night which I was told smelt nice on me so things are moving in a strange direction at the moment with the wearing of jewellery when dressed also encouraged.

    Clothes shopping is not the trial it once was where shopping for new items is relaxed and we will happily pick through the racks at charity/goodwill shopping looking for bargains for each other.

    Would be good if 2020 could bring more of the same and as I near my half century milestone I'd like to think that I can get my head around it all and integrate it into my life rather than separate it as a shadow self that I deny; that way my next 50 years can be more fun in a very loving and caring relationship with no more dress stress
    Lots of Love Lilly xx

    Not me in the avatar but the lovely Jenny Powell who I loved so much

  5. #5
    Junior Member Tania's Avatar
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    2019 will be memorable for me as well. My wife has known for 30 years, but I never did the ?full meal deal? in front of her per her wishes. This fall, I inquired if padding and a wig would be acceptable in the privacy of our home. I am closeted to the outside world anyway. Without hesitation, she said it was fine.

    To continue, we made a trip to the coast. I told her that I wanted to to have a nice dinner enfemme with her in the beachfront condo we rented, with makeup as well. Once again, she agreed without hesitation. It was a wonderful, relaxed evening I will remember forever, both dressed to the nines. A memorable milestone. We talked a lot more about my dressing and the trials and tribulations throughout the years, self acceptance, etc. I think my blood pressure is down 10 points at least! Much more comfortable in my own skin these days.

    I am very fortunate compared to some, and I am very appreciative. What will 2020 bring? Who knows, but I am very thankful for what I have, and I love my wife more than ever for obvious reasons.
    Last edited by Tania; 12-29-2019 at 02:21 PM.

  6. #6
    Platinum Member kimdl93's Avatar
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    This was a chaotic year for me, both personally and professionally. I ended up retiring a bit earlier than I had planned, which was fine. I am out to pretty much all my former colleagues...a byproduct of the chaos, but all in all a positive one. The only downside to being out is that I am some 1200 miles north of those colleagues. Personally, the greatest accomplishment has probably been finally soloing and completing my cross country flights towards my private pilot license.

    Other than those major milestones, its been a year of adjustment to retirement, the pleasure of living in the beautiful north woods of Minnesota and being accessible to my kids and extended family for the first time in nearly 20 years.

    Next year I hope to travel on a commercial flight as a woman and spend some extended time visiting friends...without bringing along any male disguises.

    Easy come, easy go;
    Easy left me long ago...

  7. #7
    Gold Member Diane Smith's Avatar
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    I retired in August. This has given me more time, but less money, to enhance my wardrobe and skills and be out and about as Diane. The only day to day change most would notice is that I'm now wearing nail polish and a little bit bolder lip color full time, including in male mode (which is slowly fading away, actually). Hoping for the possibility of more outings in 2020.

    - Diane

  8. #8
    Aspiring Member Angela1954's Avatar
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    A few months ago, with encouragement from my wife, I decided to see a counselor regarding my gender issues. I'm not transitioning by any means; I simply wanted to talk to a trained, objective professional. Once I did that a level of stress and guilt that I had with regard to my dressing became much less pronounced. I am more comfortable with my feminine side and looking forward to continued growth.

  9. #9
    Aspiring Member GracieRose's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Helen_Highwater View Post
    So, how's your year been? Any milestones, ticked any boxes, achieved any goals?
    My first thought is nothing significant.
    However, upon reflection, it's been a number of small steps in a positive direction.
    I have been getting out about once a week or so, to do general shopping, dressed like any other woman my age. And other than one snide remark, I've noticed no unusual reactions or comments or looks (perhaps I'm not paying attention).
    I have enough female clothes to choose an appropriate outfit for shopping any time of the year. I even found a winter jacket on sale to wear in the cold without borrowing one from my wife.
    I have a wig that, I think, looks good on me, and recently bought another in the same color and similar style for backup.
    I've been wearing a pair of women's sneakers fairly regularly in guy mode (a almost neutral pair from my wife that she found uncomfortable and was going to throw away). One of my walking buddies noticed (I think his wife actually was the one that noticed) and I said that I hated to see a perfectly good pair thrown out (they know that I am "thrifty"). I got no pushback or hassle from anyone about it. (They may have some thoughts about what is going on, but no one has mentioned anything.)
    All in all it appears that I'm making progress, slowly but surely.
    -peace
    -Gracie

  10. #10
    Aspiring Member Maid_Marion's Avatar
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    Exercising to look good in a crop top and short shorts. And wearing those clothes in public places.
    I'e been wearing women's shoes for so long I just noticed the pink accents on the pair I bought this summer.
    Wearing 2" shoes with 2" heels at work. Letting my hair grow out another six inches.

    Marion

  11. #11
    Aspiring Member GretchenM's Avatar
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    2019 was the year of health crisis after health crisis. So, not so much fun, but I managed to get a little fun in now and then. Fiftieth anniversary in March but celebrated later in Durango, Colorado. It was a good 3 days with my wife who came from Albuquerque and I from Denver. A family (mother's side) get together in July in western Colorado. Managed to do a lot of rehabilitating beds in my large flower gardens (more of a botanic garden - I am a botanist, afterall).

    Healthwise really bad. Diabetes diagnosis in January then prostate cancer diagnosis in May. A battle on both fronts. But it all ended well. I defeated diabetes in less than a year and it was severe. Probably defeated the cancer. Hopefully 2020 will be better but these health issues sometimes have a tendency to snowball. One thing goes haywire and then something else happens. But successfully beating two big ones provides a lot of courage if I have to face something else.

    Gretchen vanished for a month and a half when the testosterone suppression was making that hormone plunge to near zero. But interestingly, she came back after the hormone leveled off. She has been pretty strong ever since. Personally, I prefer life without testosterone as I am constantly more stable and gentle and it brings out the feminine a good deal more than when the hormone was more or less normal. In mid-February it should start coming back as the suppression drug (Elegard) wears off. Takes 14 to 16 weeks to fully recover. I really hope I am one of those where it doesn't come back or comes back at a lower level than before. I am enjoying my Gretchen time so much more and seems far more natural now.

    Happy New Year to all. And I wish all of you a happy and successful 2020 without a lot of crazy pink fog time and lots of acceptance of the person you are. You are all so beautiful.

  12. #12
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    We celebrated our 60th wedding anniversary in June. Still in DADT though!

  13. #13
    Member Victoria_Winters's Avatar
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    2019 has been one of the worst years in my life. Happy this year is over. It has marked the death of two friends, someone in my family, my mother almost died, and wife divorcing me amongst other things as well.

    On the good side I have learned how to apply makeup, expanded my wardrobe, and have decided to go to a drag show with the hopes of being a performer one day. Going tomorrow if this blasted snow stops. It?s knee deep out side!

  14. #14
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    Hi Helen , My year didn't start out very well Christmas Eve 2018 myWife went to the ER with pneumonia
    and had a massive heart attack that night and spent 6 days in the hospital and had 5 bypasses and a long 5 month recovery.


    She has fully recovered now and has more ambition than she has had for the last couple years.


    We bought a new Motorhome in September and w are going to do a lot of traveling this year. >Orchid ..OO..
    Having my ears triple pierced is AWESOME, ~~......

    I can explain it to you, But I can't comprehend it for you !

    If at first you don't succeed, Then Skydiving isn't for you.

    Be careful what you wish for, Once you ring a bell , you just can't Un-Ring it !! !!

  15. #15
    Silver Member Helen_Highwater's Avatar
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    So reading your replies it's pleasing to gauge that for the main part it's been a year of positives. Ill health has sadly effected some but the outcomes have been again generally positive.

    The more time I spend her reading about the lives of others the more I've begun to realise just what a force for good this site is. I see it helping so many move forward, gaining ever greater confidence. True many take baby steps but very few are backwards or even just marching on the spot.
    Who dares wears Get in, get out without being noticed

  16. #16
    Member Brandiaztv's Avatar
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    2019 For me at least with respect to my dressing it was a good year, I had several trips where I got to dress, and had fun on most of them.

    I have been seeing my therapist for over a year now, she has been very helpful & supportive, and helped me work through a couple of non-crossdressing related issues too. I am much more accepting of my crossdressing, so much so that I now consider myself trans even if I can't act on it.

    My 2019 resolutions:

    To dress more, even if I need a couple (or several) away trips of my own?
    I got out several times this past year, including three (work) week long trips, got to dress & take pics on all three.

    To get better with my makeup
    Work in progress, I'm getting better, still have issues with false eyelashes?

    To smile in my pictures
    Been doing fabulous on this one, I'm so happy when dressed that smiling is easy!

    To lose some weight
    Went from 162 to 154 to 158?

    My bicycling goal was 3000 miles this year
    Hit 3000 on Sunday 12/29!

    To go out at least once dressed up in daylight
    Went outside twice in the daytime, both very short walks at the hotel I was staying at at the time, I have gone out to my work truck dressed up too. Been on several long walks at night?

    To meet w/ other local TG/CD people at least once
    Didn't make this one, working on it, there are a couple of local groups on fetlife that have meet & greet type meetups, NOT sex parties.

    To soften my wife's stance on all things transgender
    Tried with baby steps, no success so far...

    MY CHALLENGES:

    I want to be Brandi, but am afraid of the choices that will require, but I will have to choose if I do not want to continually hide who I am. I know this and it is a major source of stress in my life. I have a wife I truly love?

    Clothes & 'Stuff' - I have so much stuff that I do not know where to put it. Last year at this time, three wigs, now seven, I have over twice the clothes I had, five pair of shoes, etc... I need to find a place to hide it all.
    ...Damsel in distress.
    Not exactly natural, Stunning none the less...

    (As Girls Go by Suzanne Vega)

  17. #17
    Aspiring Member kayegirl's Avatar
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    Well apart from some health issues at the start of the year, now thankfully resolved, it has been a year with some firsts for me. I travelled en femme by public transport, a local bus then train journey into Leeds, plus of course the return trip. Perhaps not such a big thing except that I used to be the driver of the local bus service, and know all of the current drivers as well as many of the passengers.
    Also made a visit to the theatre in full femme mode, and had a wonderful time.
    Then this Christmas, my wife who is fully aware of Kaye, but doesn't want to take an active part, gave me some new makeup, and to her more importantly, some makeup removal cleansers and pads. Little steps and gradual progress.
    Kaye

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