Still crossdresing bu in another way

[anouk]

It?s been a long time since I?ve written here and a lot of things have happened during it. I still crossdress but only when I have to act a man which makes me feel awkward ? luckily I have to it only in some cases in a year. The rest of my time I live totally as Anouk.

I also crossname: I have my female name as my fourth official name which has been possible since the beginning of the last year in Finland.
So my life has turned totally female. I work as Anouk, I go to gym as Anouk, I do bellydance in a female group, I have my ID cards with my female face and so on.

So how has it worked? The answer is in fabulous way! All my colleagues and students have taken it ok, very few a bit confused and most of them very easygoing. The astonishing thing has been I?ve taken so totally female in the environments where I have not been a known person. In spite of my not so female face and definitely male voice I have had difficulties in explaining I?m still a man when it has been needed. It seems people define your gender, then lock it in their mind and adjust ?anomalies? to that locked picture.

So my two last years I?ve been as Anouk 24/7 have been the happiest in my life.

To know more about my life you can go here:

http://anukatariina2.blogspot.com/

[Teresa]

Anouk,
It's so good to read your decisions are working out for you . I can agree with so much , the first feeling like CDing as a man . The second is openly adopting a femme name , I still have some work to do on ID cards as Teresa . I still feel acceptance come from within and being confident and comfortable with it . I'm amazed how quickly people forget what the man looked like , some are telling me now they do prefer me as Teresa , some if fact won't speak to me in male mode . I have gained more friends than I've lost , sometimes it's possibly a good thing to challenge some people , they have to look inside themselves and deal with their own problems as to why they can't accept you .

OK I also admit the man does have to surface sometimes , after so many years of supression I'm now happier than I've been in a long time , people do respond to that .

[phili]

That is so interesting- that people just understand you as a female! Wonderful- I am glad for you.

[GretchenM]

That is an interesting and seems to be a bit of a unique approach. There are many, many ways to crack the gender nut and find an approach that fits who you are and desire to be that person. It takes a lot of experimenting and trial and error, but in time we each often find a way that works really well for us as individuals. Congratulations on finding the correct equation for you. Finding the proper fit can be difficult and can take a good deal of time, but when you reach that point you just know that at least for now that formula produces considerable happiness. But do also be aware that things can change, sometimes a little and sometimes a lot. When the happiness declines examine it all carefully and see what shift might increase the compatibility between your sense of self and the expression of that self. This is more of a journey through a varied landscape than reaching the perfect pasture and staying there. Often, perfect pastures are only perfect for awhile. Keep in touch with your inner self and adapt to its messages and changes.