Hello all,
I?m located in the UK and need to buy some of my own clothes. I can?t keep trying the few items that fit from the wife.
So my question is how do you all go about buying clothes?
I don?t think ordering online is possible as the wife is home most days so would get the delivery and can?t really explain it away.
I?m thinking hitting a shop early and going to the changing room, but concerned about the attendant and a guy taking women?s clothes in.
Amazon has lockers where you can have your items delivered. Very discreet, very convenient. I'm eagerly awaiting the three bras I ordered yesterday.
Last edited by DAVIDA; 03-01-2020 at 07:32 PM. Reason: Quoting the OP isn't needed.
Hi Denice,
Hope the bras arrive soon and are to your liking.
I did see an amazon box at a petrol station the other day, can’t remember where it was now though. The concern I have with that is getting the wrong sizes and the returns and reordering loop.
We were out shopping and went through the ladies section for her and I spotted quite a few items I liked. Does anyone have experience shopping as a man for ladies clothes? If I act confident maybe the attendant will be less awkward?
Fullerton, I have gone to a department store in male mode, picked out dresses and taken them to the men's changing room.
Please call me Jamie, I always_have crossdressed, I always will, "alwayshave".
I use a cloth tape measure to sort through stuff on the rack. If you have been wearing your wife's clothes you should have a good idea what to measure. Usually the shoulders.
I nearly never try on clothes and always shop in man mode. I measure the chest and waist in clothing items. Then, the shoulders and hips r never an issue for me!
Originally Posted by Maid_Marion
U can't keep doing the same things over and over and expect to enjoy life to the max. When u try new things, even if they r out of your comfort zone, u may experience new excitement and growth that u never expected.
Challenge yourself and pursue your passions! When your life clock runs out, you'll have few or NO REGRETS!
Agree with Maid_Marion.While I don't usually use a cloth tape, my wife uses one a lot. Both of us know our sizes. We also take things home and try on. We like it because we can take our time. But, we live in an area with a lot of shopping.
I buy all my clothes in person. Most people will take your money, they really don't care. Just be friendly, do not act creepy and own up to the fact the clothes are for you. I have found most SAs will have fun picking stuff out with you.
Have fun!
Sara
Welcome to our little community.
Shopping for women's clothing is no big deal. Walk into a store, ask a SA for help, tell her you are shopping for yourself.
Have fun!
- Robin
Because life is too short not to.
It's ironic ... I finally found a group of guys I fit in with. Funny how they all enjoy being one of the girls.
Wife: Why do you fold your panties? Me: I don't like my panties in a wad!
I haven't shopped for women's clothes at the big department stores, but they are very accepting. Keep in mind that they are there to make money and not to judge people. If you are a possible buyer they will help you and be very nice about it. If they are not they could lose their job.
I have shopped in thrift stores. I sometimes got a bit of an evil eye from an occasional person, but most just ignored me. The check out people might smile and give me a bit of a look, but it was a friendly look. Sometimes you can tell they are thinking unaccepting thoughts, but what does it matter? You will be gone in a couple of minutes. Never had problems with a dressing room.
The garment that doesn't fit that comes in mail order is a problem and often a big hassle. A few won't take it back if you have tried it on - that is really crazy. So, unless I have previously found success with a mail order company (like Woman Within) with reliable sizes I now kind of shy away from mail order. My worst luck has been with Amazon, but it isn't their fault. The fact is that standardization in women's clothing hardly exists, especially with small, medium, large, etc. sizing. It is the way the manufacturer/seller operates. But you can have better luck with number sizing - like 12, 14, etc. Once you figure out what size you wear. There is still a problem at times because the cut may be different. Women tend to be more narrow in the shoulders which means a 16 may fit everywhere except the shoulders which is more like a straight jacket. But a 16 from another manufacturer may fit perfectly. Men's clothes also have that problem sometimes. Women have the same problem we have because we are not all shaped the same. So, what it comes down to is mail order can be risky and a hassle if it doesn't fit. The best is just go in to a store; if you see something you like go to a dressing room and try it on. Most stores won't give you trouble, but they may keep a close eye on you. That's OK. Just behave yourself, act natural and it will go fine.
I see you are in the UK. So am I. I shop for women's clothes regularly and I try them on in women's changing rooms. I always ask first. It is years since I encountered a problem, if you call a polite refusal a problem. I shop at department stores, chains and independent boutiques. Only once in hundreds of shops have I been asked to use the male fitting room in a department store - and that store has now closed (Hourstons in Ayr). Shops like Phase Eight, Hobbs and Debenhams are completely used to men shopping for themselves. I don't know how much shop staff judge the customer's behaviour - but if you are very nervous you might come across as creepy so RELAX and smile. If it helps you, ring the store before hand, but it really will be fine without that. I recently got a bra fitting at a Debenhams in one of the smaller Scottish cities. I was dressed as a man, and the bra fitter said that fitting men was part of a normal day.
Find a thrift store, find a few items and try them on if they fit read the size on the tag and thats your size.
Remember the sizes vary from maker to maker sometimes and if made in China the sizes are all over the place.
What I am trying to say is you can toss away a size chart because they are not all that accurate.
Never assume anything will fit right because we are talking they are clothes made for women and you have the body of a man.
Last edited by Tracii G; 01-02-2020 at 08:20 AM.
I email or called up a few stores and let them know I am a Male interested in buying a few items for myself in my case Bras, Panties, Slips Camisoles, Pantyhose and if I can try them on to get a comfortable fit and I really like Nylon and spandex full brief or Hi cut Panties. I got a few response and I hit the stores, at first it was hard but as I go more and more it got easier, now I know a few store Owners and I go try on things I like and I buy, that simple, good luck on your Journey. So far I shopped at Wolford, Nordstrom. Saks that are the big stores and twice at Victoria Secret, I like Triump, I go there a lot. and a few small Lingerie stores around Toronto. have to be a little brave and the Ladies will gladly help you out, it's a Business.
Live Today as if it is your last day
Thank you for all the advice.
One other thing, do you go to the men?s or women?s changing rooms?
I see Jamie (alwayshave) said take to men?s. The shop I?m thinking of has men?s underground and the ladies on the ground (skirts/tops) and upper (lingerie). Im after items from both ladies floors.
Some delivery services will deliver to a local shop or fuel station. I know Hermes and DPD certainly do.
Certain stores even have a click and collect and if you're worried about clothes on, you could return items that don't fit just make sure you keep the tags on.
Wow! Two different floors to master the courage to buy and try on clothing. The only recommendation I have is to do a lot of research on line as to the correct size for your body type, height and weight. I am tall (six foot). I have found I need to stay away from dresses that have a defined waist because those dresses are usually made for the average woman who is five foot six or so. Those dresses would end up showing a waist that looks akin to the way some old men yank their pants/waist up to their nipple line. Ugh! So, I choose dresses without a defined waist; wraps, sheaths, empire waists. I do agree using a cloth measuring tapes is very helpful. If you have measured the length from the nape of your neck to the hem of a dress that fits you nicely you can measure in store without trying on way too many dresses and rejecting them. Most on line retailers give a lot of information because, as with JC Penny, not all the dresses are available in stores. Some are on line only. However, many times with proper inventory control the on line site will list the stores where the dress and its size is available. That will minimize trying on too many dresses.
Some stores do not allow taking garments from one floor to another in order to reduce shoplifting. Lingerie is fairly straight forward. You just have to adjust for the fact men and women are built differently. Most size charts for women's panties give hip measurements while guy's briefs are sized at the waist. Trial and error should give you the right fit for panties. Bra band size is fairly straight forward, but, then you have to be realistic as to what cup size is for you. The best time to shop for lingerie is around gift giving time; Christmas, Valentine's Day, Easter, Mother's Day when it comes to building up courage.
One big issue for stealth buying is hiding the purchase and the delivery. Buying in person with cash is easy. Throw down the money and you're done. On line it comes down to using plastic. The family credit card may raise questions. All the local retailers sell gift cards for just about every clothing/department store. Figure out what the on line purchase will cost and buy the appropriate dollar/pound gift card. You may not use all the money on the card, but, the small overage can be used later. Many retailers offer drop offs to minimize "porch pirate" theft. I just ordered from Amazon and I was offered a locker at my local grocery store. Kohl's stores offer free Amazon return drop off sites. I suspect Kohl's figures, if it can get you into the store, you may buy something.
I've shopped for myself and my wife. On several occasions I have gotten the 'stink eye' from a more mature (age wise, not intelligence) saleswoman who thinks men should not wear or even buy women's clothing. Most however have been helpful when it comes to sizing. I live in Washington State where the law prevents discrimination based on gender identity and gender expression. Most retailers know that and have trained their personnel appropriately. You may be able to establish a relationship with a particular sales person who will assist you every time you shop. One upscale retailer's sales personnel actually maintains a client list.
The first time buying in person is apprehensive, but, it does get easier. And, since you and your wife are similar in size, if any neighbor or busy body encounters you, you can easily say it's for your wife. I was six foot and 175 pounds, and, my wife was five foot two and 110 pounds. No mistake when I shopped for her. Me? Well, it was frightening at first. Good luck.
If you want skinny jeans you may want to try jeggings, which are either leggings made to look like jeans or jeans made out of stretchy fabric. Either way, jeggings more likely fit.
Last edited by Maid_Marion; 03-02-2020 at 12:43 PM.
As many have already mentioned, do as much research as you can into making sure what size female clothing fits you. I've lost count of the number of items I've ordered online thinking they'd fit only to find they're woefully too small. Shoulder width and sleeve length are my biggest challenges. As far as where to shop, I do it mostly online now but in the pre-internet days I braved places like Macys and Nordstrom. I even bought a matching leather skirt and jacket in a leather store once and just told the salespeople that I was getting them for my wife. Honestly, they don't care as long as they make a sale. Think of the number of people they deal with every day. Amazon Prime is great as they deliver to those dropboxes that are popping up everywhere. And returning the item is done the same way. eBay is great for getting cheap(er) stuff but returning can be a pain.
Do you work somewhere where packages could be delivered? I get most of my orders delivered to work and if there are any questions from co-workers I just tell them my wife and I had problems with packages getting stolen from our doorstep.
My shopping fear is being seen by someone that knows me. Shopping in other towns takes that fear away. It was nearly 40 years ago I bought my first bra & panty set. That was over 1000 miles from my hometown!
I take risks now days and shop in my area since it's very rare to run into anyone I know.
"You're the only one to see the changes you take yourself through", Stevie Wonder
I did the 'womens' fitting room right before Christmas, I did ask, but the store was virtually empty as it was special 7 AM holiday opening. I do also kinda understand how annoying and creepy men can be so it's easy to see how GG could be uncomfortable seeing me in a more crowded time.
It was indeed a situation where the 'womens' clothing was on a separate floor.
The only issue for me was how I hadn't shopped in person in decades and how addicting it could get.
Oh, and at the end the SA said something along the lines you read here all the time about being happy to take my money, when directing me to a register where he'd ring me up.
Last edited by HelpMe,Rhonda; 01-06-2020 at 06:06 AM.
I can only speak for the UK. In theory, it's quite simple, you go in shops, you find what you like, you try it on, if it fits, happy days you buy it, if it doesn't, then you hand it back and try the next thing. The only thing holding you back from doing this is you. Yes, it can be a big thing to get over. It was for me. But now, I'm fine with it. The people in the shops, every shop I go in are fine with it. I don't come anywhere near passing. You're just another person wanting to try something on to see if it fits. As for which changing room to use? Simple, you go in the one that matches how you're dressed, not what you're trying on. These days I only go out and about wearing women's clothes, so natutally, I always use the women's changing rooms. If needs be, if I want my partner to let me know if something is good or not, then I'll even walk out in the shop to see what she thinks. The one thing that we all have to get over is being seen the first time. It's like jumping in cold water, horrid at first but you soon get used to it.
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Yes, get to know your size. I can take a skirt from a hanger and just by feeling the width of it I can tell if it will fit or not. Knowing your size is an essential skill to learn.
Some good advice from these fun women...except I found Macy's has directed me twice to the womens fitting room despite my drab presentation.
Perhaps they SAs wanted to make it easier to process the clothes you didn't like. Unwanted dresses belong just outside the women's fitting room, not the men's.
Last edited by Maid_Marion; 03-05-2020 at 06:13 AM.
I'm sure that shopping and trying on clothes is a bit different in the UK. In fact, here in the US it's not the same for all stores. I've gone into women's changing rooms and men's.
Shopping during hours or days of the week with less shoppers is a good idea. I like it when there's hardly anyone in a store because there's less risk of running into someone that knows me.
Using a tape measure is a good method but trying on is best, especially in thrift stores that don't allow returns. If a SA or anyone else says anything about me trying one women's clothes, I just say, "I know". No reason to go into a big explanation.
I've heard that Amazon has a free return shipping program if you become a Prime member.
"You're the only one to see the changes you take yourself through", Stevie Wonder
I get free returns using Amazon prime (sometimes I buy 2 or 3 different sizes and return what does not fit using free shipping ootions) - I have shopped in women's stores as a male and asked to try things on (usually dresses) and never been told no
