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Thread: Buying/ Trying Clothes

  1. #1
    New Member Fullerton's Avatar
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    Buying/ Trying Clothes

    Hello all,

    I?m located in the UK and need to buy some of my own clothes. I can?t keep trying the few items that fit from the wife.

    So my question is how do you all go about buying clothes?
    I don?t think ordering online is possible as the wife is home most days so would get the delivery and can?t really explain it away.
    I?m thinking hitting a shop early and going to the changing room, but concerned about the attendant and a guy taking women?s clothes in.

  2. #2
    Junior Member Denice's Avatar
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    Amazon has lockers where you can have your items delivered. Very discreet, very convenient. I'm eagerly awaiting the three bras I ordered yesterday.
    Last edited by DAVIDA; 03-01-2020 at 07:32 PM. Reason: Quoting the OP isn't needed.

  3. #3
    New Member Fullerton's Avatar
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    Hi Denice,
    Hope the bras arrive soon and are to your liking.

    I did see an amazon box at a petrol station the other day, can’t remember where it was now though. The concern I have with that is getting the wrong sizes and the returns and reordering loop.

    We were out shopping and went through the ladies section for her and I spotted quite a few items I liked. Does anyone have experience shopping as a man for ladies clothes? If I act confident maybe the attendant will be less awkward?

  4. #4
    Gold Member alwayshave's Avatar
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    Fullerton, I have gone to a department store in male mode, picked out dresses and taken them to the men's changing room.
    Please call me Jamie, I always_have crossdressed, I always will, "alwayshave".

  5. #5
    Aspiring Member Maid_Marion's Avatar
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    I use a cloth tape measure to sort through stuff on the rack. If you have been wearing your wife's clothes you should have a good idea what to measure. Usually the shoulders.

  6. #6
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    I buy all my clothes in person. Most people will take your money, they really don't care. Just be friendly, do not act creepy and own up to the fact the clothes are for you. I have found most SAs will have fun picking stuff out with you.
    Have fun!
    Sara

  7. #7
    Aspiring Shopaholic BTWimRobin's Avatar
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    Welcome to our little community.

    Shopping for women's clothing is no big deal. Walk into a store, ask a SA for help, tell her you are shopping for yourself.

    Have fun!
    - Robin


    Because life is too short not to.

  8. #8
    Aspiring Member GretchenM's Avatar
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    I haven't shopped for women's clothes at the big department stores, but they are very accepting. Keep in mind that they are there to make money and not to judge people. If you are a possible buyer they will help you and be very nice about it. If they are not they could lose their job.

    I have shopped in thrift stores. I sometimes got a bit of an evil eye from an occasional person, but most just ignored me. The check out people might smile and give me a bit of a look, but it was a friendly look. Sometimes you can tell they are thinking unaccepting thoughts, but what does it matter? You will be gone in a couple of minutes. Never had problems with a dressing room.

    The garment that doesn't fit that comes in mail order is a problem and often a big hassle. A few won't take it back if you have tried it on - that is really crazy. So, unless I have previously found success with a mail order company (like Woman Within) with reliable sizes I now kind of shy away from mail order. My worst luck has been with Amazon, but it isn't their fault. The fact is that standardization in women's clothing hardly exists, especially with small, medium, large, etc. sizing. It is the way the manufacturer/seller operates. But you can have better luck with number sizing - like 12, 14, etc. Once you figure out what size you wear. There is still a problem at times because the cut may be different. Women tend to be more narrow in the shoulders which means a 16 may fit everywhere except the shoulders which is more like a straight jacket. But a 16 from another manufacturer may fit perfectly. Men's clothes also have that problem sometimes. Women have the same problem we have because we are not all shaped the same. So, what it comes down to is mail order can be risky and a hassle if it doesn't fit. The best is just go in to a store; if you see something you like go to a dressing room and try it on. Most stores won't give you trouble, but they may keep a close eye on you. That's OK. Just behave yourself, act natural and it will go fine.

  9. #9
    New Member Fullerton's Avatar
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    Thank you for all the advice.
    One other thing, do you go to the men?s or women?s changing rooms?
    I see Jamie (alwayshave) said take to men?s. The shop I?m thinking of has men?s underground and the ladies on the ground (skirts/tops) and upper (lingerie). Im after items from both ladies floors.

  10. #10
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    I see you are in the UK. So am I. I shop for women's clothes regularly and I try them on in women's changing rooms. I always ask first. It is years since I encountered a problem, if you call a polite refusal a problem. I shop at department stores, chains and independent boutiques. Only once in hundreds of shops have I been asked to use the male fitting room in a department store - and that store has now closed (Hourstons in Ayr). Shops like Phase Eight, Hobbs and Debenhams are completely used to men shopping for themselves. I don't know how much shop staff judge the customer's behaviour - but if you are very nervous you might come across as creepy so RELAX and smile. If it helps you, ring the store before hand, but it really will be fine without that. I recently got a bra fitting at a Debenhams in one of the smaller Scottish cities. I was dressed as a man, and the bra fitter said that fitting men was part of a normal day.

  11. #11
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    Some delivery services will deliver to a local shop or fuel station. I know Hermes and DPD certainly do.
    Certain stores even have a click and collect and if you're worried about clothes on, you could return items that don't fit just make sure you keep the tags on.

  12. #12
    Yeah Ok like whatever Tracii G's Avatar
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    Find a thrift store, find a few items and try them on if they fit read the size on the tag and thats your size.
    Remember the sizes vary from maker to maker sometimes and if made in China the sizes are all over the place.
    What I am trying to say is you can toss away a size chart because they are not all that accurate.
    Never assume anything will fit right because we are talking they are clothes made for women and you have the body of a man.
    Last edited by Tracii G; 01-02-2020 at 08:20 AM.
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  13. #13
    Platinum Blonde member Ressie's Avatar
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    I'm sure that shopping and trying on clothes is a bit different in the UK. In fact, here in the US it's not the same for all stores. I've gone into women's changing rooms and men's.

    Shopping during hours or days of the week with less shoppers is a good idea. I like it when there's hardly anyone in a store because there's less risk of running into someone that knows me.

    Using a tape measure is a good method but trying on is best, especially in thrift stores that don't allow returns. If a SA or anyone else says anything about me trying one women's clothes, I just say, "I know". No reason to go into a big explanation.

    I've heard that Amazon has a free return shipping program if you become a Prime member.
    "You're the only one to see the changes you take yourself through", Stevie Wonder

  14. #14
    Gold Member bridget thronton's Avatar
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    I get free returns using Amazon prime (sometimes I buy 2 or 3 different sizes and return what does not fit using free shipping ootions) - I have shopped in women's stores as a male and asked to try things on (usually dresses) and never been told no

  15. #15
    Twisted Sister Patience's Avatar
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    I make most of my purchases in-store, whether I’m crossdressed or not. I also have a PO box where I can have more personal things sent.
    ...and though she feels as if she is in a play, she is anyway...

  16. #16
    Senior Member Tracy Irving's Avatar
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    Thrift stores have a wide variety of styles and sizes that are constantly changing. You may even find some clothing that is new, with the tags on. Most of the stores near me have a row of unisex fitting rooms that are unlocked. I never had a problem giving someone else my money when I found an item that I wanted to take home.

  17. #17
    Silver Member JenniferR771's Avatar
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    Ressie is right. Shop at unbusy times.
    Remember retail stores are under major pressure to not lose money. Competition from online sellers is intense. These days you will get great service.
    Remember, many of the sales assistants are on commission. They will be quick to help you buy something.

  18. #18
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    Sara66 is so right on, I won't even try to add to what she said.

    I won't say that it's easy to get started. But I will say that the end result is worth the trouble of breaking through whatever is blocking you.
    Last edited by suzanne; 01-02-2020 at 02:54 PM.

  19. #19
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    I buy the vast majority of my women's clothes exactly the same way I buy men's clothes.

    I go to a store that sells the clothes I want.

    I take the clothes that I like off the rack and into the fitting room to try them on.

    Then I purchase the clothing that fits well and looks good on me.

    I have never been told that I was not welcome to shop for, try on, or purchase woman's clothing in any store. (DRAG or DRAB) any time day or night, I have never done that "call ahead and ask if it's okay for me to shop there" B.S. either. My money is a good as anyone else's and in today's economy brick and mortar stores will do just about anything to get customers in the door.

    Now that I have a good idea of what sizes I can wear I do buy things online, but I prefer shopping in person so I can try things on first.
    Last edited by Robertacd; 01-02-2020 at 12:07 PM.

  20. #20
    Member Lilly Diadem's Avatar
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    In the UK shops like M&S and Next will give the facility to allow you to order online then collect in store.
    M&S orders are packed in boxes or black bags so no-one knows what is inside when either delivered or collected.

    Charity shops are great way to start your collection in as you can try a few items at relatively low cost.
    Lots of Love Lilly xx

    Not me in the avatar but the lovely Jenny Powell who I loved so much

  21. #21
    Platinum Member Teresa's Avatar
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    Fullerton,
    It maybe easier to start with shopping away from home in charity shops , most really don't mind who buys the items and at least it isn't costing a fortune . The important point is know your size and try and stick to it , otherwise you will just go around in circles and not buy anything . As you build confidence you can try venturing into retail shops , I find Matalan very user friendly and their prices are great . The dress in my avatar is from their Soon range and was in the sale rack at ?12.50 , I went to a birthday meal with some friends in it .
    The real me ,no going back.

  22. #22
    Gold Member Helen_Highwater's Avatar
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    Fullerton,

    In the past I've used Very to shop online. They use Collect+ as one delivery option. Over the years I've found their sizing to be pretty consistent so once I found what fitted I was able to get correctly sized items most times.

    Top tip: Find a skirt, blouse/top and a dress that you like. based on your wife's sizing (say she's a 14) order 3 of each, a 12, a 14, and a 16. Find which fits you best and simply send the others back, free. For a lot of us we're likely to be a size bigger in dresses than skirts due to shoulder sizes.

    Next do a similar service, both do Tall ranges and shoes and boots up to UK size 9. Another option is Amazon Prime, again you can get things delivered free to local drop points.
    Who dares wears Get in, get out without being noticed

  23. #23
    Senior Member Kay J's Avatar
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    Hi Fullerton You girls that live in the UK correct me if i'am wrong but from i see and hear the uk is a lot more accepted then the states so just go in and ask for help if they give you grief just walk away you will never see then again! The key is to put on a smile be polite and own it!

  24. #24
    Yeah Ok like whatever Tracii G's Avatar
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    99% of the time shopping in either mode has not been a problem as far as the stores themselves only one gave me a problem and that was Victoria's Secret and I will never go back in there ever again.
    What I see here is you are the problem you are too scared of someone seeing you actually holding womens clothes in public.
    Thats normal really and its something you need to get over.
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  25. #25
    New Member Fullerton's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tracii G View Post
    What I see here is you are the problem you are too scared of someone seeing you actually holding womens clothes in public.
    Thats normal really and its something you need to get over.
    Yes I agree the mental side is a big problem for me and that I have always been very concerned about what people think of me is the route of it.

    Thanks all for the wonderful information and suggestions, I suppose the only thing to do now is be brave.
    At the end at least I should have a size to gauge off, the wife’s ones that i do wear are a squash and squeeze.

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