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  1. #1
    Member Sandi Beech's Avatar
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    Question for people who are not "out" to friends and family

    Hi all,. I am just curious about something. For those of you who have not made friends and family aware of your dressing, do you post pictures here anyhow? It seems kind of risky. I am just wondering if any of you dress in secret, but post pictures regardless despite the potential risk.

    Anyhow, just curious.

    Sandi

  2. #2
    Senior Member Tracy Irving's Avatar
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    Very little risk. If friends or family find there way to this site, discover my backside photograph and figure out it is me, more power to them. Probability is close to zero.

  3. #3
    🌕🌖🌗🌘🌑🌒🌓🌔🌕 Patience's Avatar
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    Some of my friends and most of my co-workers are aware of my dressing. Most of my friends and family are not.

    Basically, I do post pics but keep the identities separate. Folks IRL don't know about my posts here and vice versa. It seems to work.
    ...throw off those chains of Reason and your prison disappears...

  4. #4
    Daviana Kristine Jessie Mae's Avatar
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    My wife and two adult daughters know and I've come out to two co-worker friends (trusted). I post pictures that clearly show my face.
    Maybe I'm playing with fire.
    Please call me Daviana

  5. #5
    Silver Member Maria 60's Avatar
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    I posted a while ago of my new shoes or some clothing I bought but never showed my face. After all it's a small world and when I made the choice of staying in the closet, one can't take chances. My wife always tells me if I plan on going any further the next step would be to tell the children before they find out on there own. I don't post any photos of myself dressed and take the chance.

  6. #6
    Member FrannGurl's Avatar
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    Much of my family knows, as well as several friends of mine who are mostly female. I could really care less anymore who knows or not. For the ones that did find out about me accidently, only one wasn't cool with it ( at least that's my thought since I don't hear much from him anymore) For someone you know to go through pictures on here and pick you out sounds unlikely...Unless they happen to be a crossdresser or trans themselves.

  7. #7
    Resident Polymath MarinaTwelve200's Avatar
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    Yes, I DO post pics. I have no fears because I am completely unrecognizable when I am CDing. Not only Female but male "Characters" too Just to play around with different makeup effects is fun and challenging. Being un recognizable is part of the FUN of it all. I have a very versatile face.
    Attached Images Attached Images

  8. #8
    Lady By Choice Leslie Langford's Avatar
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    I'm out to my wife, a counselor, and my adult children (barely), and I have posted pics here in the past, but never in "boy" mode...why take the chance? Consequently, I don't worry about being "outed"...I keep my two identities completely separate...separate on-line accounts, email addresses, and social media etc., and so far (fingers crossed!) the two have never intersected.

    The way I see it, if someone ever did discover me here and connected the dots, I doubt they would ever confront me about it. After all, what would they be doing on this site and poking around here? Like me, they'd have "...some 'splainin' to do, Lucy!"

  9. #9
    New Member Fullerton's Avatar
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    Interesting as I had the same question.
    I came to the conclusion the photo section requires 10posts to open
    Anyone on here who identifies you is going to be in the same situation.

    I think it’s possibly safe to post on here and would just keep the face out and have a plain background to add another layer

  10. #10
    Seňora Member
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    Before I was out I figured if anyone I know saw my pictures here and outed me they would be outing themselves too so...

    After almost 20 years on this site and nobody has "accidentally stumbled across it" yet.
    Last edited by Robertacd; 01-05-2020 at 11:32 PM.

  11. #11
    🌕🌖🌗🌘🌑🌒🌓🌔🌕 Patience's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Fullerton View Post
    I came to the conclusion the photo section requires 10posts to open
    That's as may be, but avatars are always visible to all users and guests.
    ...throw off those chains of Reason and your prison disappears...

  12. #12
    Gold Member
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    NO, I have no pictures here, for the reason that someone just might stumble on to this site.
    Rader

  13. #13
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    None of my family or friends know. Just my wife. I first started posting pictures back in the dark ages on a MySpace page and then shut that down and moved to Facebook. I also began posting on Flickr but shut that down after a while. I opened an Instagram account about a year ago but switched to private when a couple of former co-workers of mine began following me. That was WAAAY too much of a coincidence! The Instagram page has since reopened and those co-workers blocked but I guess they could easily create a new account themselves and try following me again. I'm at a point now though where I don't think I'd be bothered if someone I knew started following me again. Life's too short. Screw 'em!

  14. #14
    Platinum Member
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    I do not post pictures because I really do not have the skill or the equipment. My wife knows I like to wear women's clothing, but, to what extent I do not know. She approaches my cross dressing like an ostrich....head firmly in the sand. She did come upon this site open with my login showing. All she said was I should be more careful, intimating somebody could come across the open browser.

    I think someone would have some inclination a person is a cross dresser and then start searching sites for clues. If someone took the time and perused all the postings of Stephanie47 I'm fairly sure I have posted enough information that a person who knows me will figure it out. No picture needed. If one has the inclination and the time peruse this site without logining into the site and see how much information who can glean about yourself. There are a lot of posts about trips on specific weekends to certain locations and venues. If someone really cared they'll find. A wife? Just install a keystroke program and it's all easy.

  15. #15
    Aspiring Member Lacey New's Avatar
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    I have posted a few but never a shot of my face or anything too risqu?. Also, any pictures were taken with a camera that is not internet capable.

  16. #16
    Platinum Member Teresa's Avatar
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    Sandi,
    Please don't forget when you post pictures on the forum it's not just family and friends who may come across them , you also visible to much of the English speaking World . I did find that quite scary when I used my first avatar .

    I admit I took those risks but now it's doesn't concern me too much apart from pictures can be lifted .

    As for people outing themselves by poking around this forum , some people may only visit to discover more about the problems they and their male partner face , lets not forget it is a help forum .
    Last edited by Teresa; 01-06-2020 at 05:26 AM.
    The real me ,no going back.

  17. #17
    Gold Member Helen_Highwater's Avatar
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    Sandi,

    Would they recognise you? If you look at the "Boy Vs Girl" posts the differences can be striking. It's amazing the difference a wig and a bit of slap can make to how you look.

    A couple of years ago I attended a social group meeting at which there were changing facilities. Towards the end of the night I glanced at the changing room door and saw two men walking out. My first thought was, "Where the hell did they come from?" for just a few moments later the realisation to sink in that ten minutes before I'd been sat talking to their femme selves. Had I not seen them exit the changing room and later passed them in the street I doubt I'd have recognised them.

    There are also posts here of folks walking past family members in the street and going totally un-noticed. Don't fret it too much. It's one of those little gremlins that sit on our shoulder whispering about the mob being out to get you.
    Who dares wears Get in, get out without being noticed

  18. #18
    Platinum Member Teresa's Avatar
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    Sandi,
    I have to totally agree with Helen , I've met people who knew me in male mode back in my old home town and I really have had to spell it out to them before the penny has dropped . I've never done a " Boy Vs Girl " picture and don't intend to , very few of my social groups and no one on the forum has seen me in male mode and that's the way I prefer it , I don't see the point , I'm hoping eventually I may never have to do it at all .

    Cheryl,
    I have had that happen to me on one occasion . I was in a costume shop in drab and the SA who knew all about me asked if I wanted to buy a jacket a customer had never collected after some repair work . I was trying it on when a good friend and her daughter saw me , she asked what I was doing wearing a women's jacket , I simply told her I was TG and was born like it . She then said , " I can't wait to tell A .. ( husband ) " The SA stepped in and simply said , " Is that being fair ? " and shook her head . That was about 4 years ago , in a conversation recently my wife was in conversation with her and she then told her how long she'd known about my dressing , all water under the bridge now because I'm not concerned what they think .
    Last edited by Teresa; 01-06-2020 at 12:13 PM.
    The real me ,no going back.

  19. #19
    Continuing the journey Tina Davis's Avatar
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    I have no issue posting photos of me here, even though I am not out to my family. They do not know the extent of my wardrobe or anything about this site, so I don't believe that anyone who knows the male me would recognize me from pictures here. I did post one "Boy vs. Girl" picture, but it's one of hundreds in the 67-page thread, so I'm pretty sure no one will find it.

    Everyone has their own comfort level with pictures, and there is always a risk that a picture will be reused somewhere else. But the chances of someone connecting that picture to your male self are really small, unless you have something in the picture that uniquely identifies you. And even then, it's unlikely. So post away in the Photo section, and use your good judgment in this public section.

  20. #20
    Lady By Choice Leslie Langford's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Teresa View Post
    Sandi,
    I have to totally agree with Helen , I've met people who knew me in male mode back in my old home town and I really have had to spell it out to them before the penny has dropped . I've never done a " Boy Vs Girl " picture and don't intend to , very few of my social groups and no one on the forum has seen me in male mode and that's the way I prefer it , I don't see the point , I'm hoping eventually I may never have to do it at all .

    Cheryl,
    I have had that happen to me on one occasion . I was in a costume shop in drab and the SA who knew all about me asked if I wanted to buy a jacket a customer had never collected after some repair work . I was trying it on when a good friend and her daughter saw me , she asked what I was doing wearing a women's jacket , I simply told her I was TG and was born like it . She then said , " I can't wait to tell A .. ( husband ) " The SA stepped in and simply said , " Is that being fair ? " and shook her head . That was about 4 years ago , in a conversation recently my wife was in conversation with her and she then told her how long she'd known about my dressing , all water under the bridge now because I'm not concerned what they think .
    A very timely cautionary note about what can happen unexpectedly in the Real World, Teresa. "I can't wait to tell A"... Seriously??? God bless those busybodies...NOT!

    Your "friend" may well have known about Teresa over the last 4 years, but the salient point here is whether or not she heeded the SA's admonishment or conversely, if her "need" to immediately spread this juicy piece of gossip about you and bring her husband (and potentially, others) into the loop prevailed instead.

  21. #21
    Member HelpMe,Rhonda's Avatar
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    Not too many here, but on Flickr I do. Seems like the only people that look at them are people like us and 'admirers' or 'chasers' or whatever name you want to call them. I block the latter as fast as I can. I'm not sure how anyone would randomly happen upon the pics unless they were in the one category or the other.

  22. #22
    Junior Member Lacey86's Avatar
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    I haven't posted pics but I post on the forums. I haven't had time to dress or take pictures in forever but I don't think I'm cute dressed so I don't think even if I did take pictures that I'd ever be brave enough to post them. I'm out to my wife, and was out to a therapist a few years ago. That's about it. Wife doesn't mind if I do it without her but won't participate.

  23. #23
    Aspiring Member mbmeen12's Avatar
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    I put an emoji on my face ONLY because I need a job vs wanting one. Employers will google!

    Not only that, any pic you post is likely to be used other than its original intent....
    HRT 8th week....

  24. #24
    Exploring NEPA now Cheryl T's Avatar
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    Yes I post here and I am not out to family and friends.
    When I first decided I needed to meet others and wanted to attend a support group meeting my wife was hesitant for that reason, "what if we meet someone we know at the meeting?"
    Well, what if we did? I replied.
    Will they go running to all of our friends and say "guess who we met at the crossdressers meeting Saturday". I don't think so and if they did then they out themselves as well. And if the friends turned their backs, then they weren't really friends now were they?
    I don't think my friends and family will come here looking.

  25. #25
    Member Marianne S's Avatar
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    What an interesting question, Sandi! Scanning through the responses, I immediately "clicked" with what MarinaTwelve200 said: namely, that "being unrecognizable is part of the FUN of it all!"

    Speaking for myself, I have no fear of being recognized here. I can't help thinking of a colleague I used to work with, a world class expert on computer security, who spoke (among other things) of the concept he called "security by obscurity." If we're obscure enough, there's very little risk of anybody recognizing us. And I reckon there's very little chance of anybody we know coming to this site in the first place! Even if they do, there's still only a low probability of their spotting and recognizing anyone's avatar. (Fullerton's observation about having to register and post to get access to the "photos" section is well taken.) Unless, that is, they're crossdressers themselves--in which case they may have a secret they want to hide as well! Imagine them saying to our mutual friends: "Guess who I saw on a Web site the other day! It's called 'crossdressers dot com'" and the friends asking "Well, George, what were you doing on a site like that in the first place?" If they had the same secret some of us share, I suspect they will not be willing to draw attention to what they found!

    But here's the big laugh! My little avatar--I have a big eight by ten framed photograph of that same picture standing openly on the square oak-and-glass coffee table in my living room, right next to a similarly framed photograph of myself and my (sadly late) wife taken many years ago. Needless to say, I look very different in both pictures! Apart from the dress and makeup and blonde hair as Marianne, with sunglasses, in the "couple" picture I have my natural brown hair and dark framed eyeglasses, before I adopted contact lenses. Oddly enough, nobody yet has ever asked "Who is the blonde woman in that photo?" I guess they just assume it's a family member. And even if they did wonder, I defy them to identify the blonde as the guy in the "couple" photograph! If they ever did ask, I plan to tell them "That's our very good friend Marianne, pictured on the deck ontside our home when we used to live in Massachusetts." If they ever did guess, I could always tell them I dressed up "for a lark," but I'll bet no-one ever guesses.

    As Marina said, that's "part of the fun of it all." What a giggle!
    Last edited by Marianne S; 01-07-2020 at 06:09 PM.

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