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Thread: Question for people who are not "out" to friends and family

  1. #1
    Member Sandi Beech's Avatar
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    Question for people who are not "out" to friends and family

    Hi all,. I am just curious about something. For those of you who have not made friends and family aware of your dressing, do you post pictures here anyhow? It seems kind of risky. I am just wondering if any of you dress in secret, but post pictures regardless despite the potential risk.

    Anyhow, just curious.

    Sandi

  2. #2
    Senior Member Tracy Irving's Avatar
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    Very little risk. If friends or family find there way to this site, discover my backside photograph and figure out it is me, more power to them. Probability is close to zero.

  3. #3
    Silver Member Maria 60's Avatar
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    I posted a while ago of my new shoes or some clothing I bought but never showed my face. After all it's a small world and when I made the choice of staying in the closet, one can't take chances. My wife always tells me if I plan on going any further the next step would be to tell the children before they find out on there own. I don't post any photos of myself dressed and take the chance.

  4. #4
    🌹💋🌹🌺💋🎀❤️🎀💋🌺🌹💋🌹 Patience's Avatar
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    Some of my friends and most of my co-workers are aware of my dressing. Most of my friends and family are not.

    Basically, I do post pics but keep the identities separate. Folks IRL don't know about my posts here and vice versa. It seems to work.
    ...and though she feels as if she is in a play, she is anyway...

  5. #5
    Daviana Kristine Jessie Mae's Avatar
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    My wife and two adult daughters know and I've come out to two co-worker friends (trusted). I post pictures that clearly show my face.
    Maybe I'm playing with fire.
    Please call me Daviana

  6. #6
    Member FrannGurl's Avatar
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    Much of my family knows, as well as several friends of mine who are mostly female. I could really care less anymore who knows or not. For the ones that did find out about me accidently, only one wasn't cool with it ( at least that's my thought since I don't hear much from him anymore) For someone you know to go through pictures on here and pick you out sounds unlikely...Unless they happen to be a crossdresser or trans themselves.

  7. #7
    Resident Polymath MarinaTwelve200's Avatar
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    Yes, I DO post pics. I have no fears because I am completely unrecognizable when I am CDing. Not only Female but male "Characters" too Just to play around with different makeup effects is fun and challenging. Being un recognizable is part of the FUN of it all. I have a very versatile face.
    Attached Images Attached Images

  8. #8
    Lady By Choice Leslie Langford's Avatar
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    I'm out to my wife, a counselor, and my adult children (barely), and I have posted pics here in the past, but never in "boy" mode...why take the chance? Consequently, I don't worry about being "outed"...I keep my two identities completely separate...separate on-line accounts, email addresses, and social media etc., and so far (fingers crossed!) the two have never intersected.

    The way I see it, if someone ever did discover me here and connected the dots, I doubt they would ever confront me about it. After all, what would they be doing on this site and poking around here? Like me, they'd have "...some 'splainin' to do, Lucy!"

  9. #9
    New Member Fullerton's Avatar
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    Interesting as I had the same question.
    I came to the conclusion the photo section requires 10posts to open
    Anyone on here who identifies you is going to be in the same situation.

    I think it’s possibly safe to post on here and would just keep the face out and have a plain background to add another layer

  10. #10
    Seňora Member
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    Before I was out I figured if anyone I know saw my pictures here and outed me they would be outing themselves too so...

    After almost 20 years on this site and nobody has "accidentally stumbled across it" yet.
    Last edited by Robertacd; 01-05-2020 at 11:32 PM.

  11. #11
    🌹💋🌹🌺💋🎀❤️🎀💋🌺🌹💋🌹 Patience's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Fullerton View Post
    I came to the conclusion the photo section requires 10posts to open
    That's as may be, but avatars are always visible to all users and guests.
    ...and though she feels as if she is in a play, she is anyway...

  12. #12
    Gold Member
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    NO, I have no pictures here, for the reason that someone just might stumble on to this site.
    Rader

  13. #13
    Member Soriya's Avatar
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    I worried about the same thing when I first came here Sandi but once I took a few pictures being fully dressed I noticed I look completely different. In fact my profile picture to the right was the pic that changed my mind. I snapped it from my webcam and couldn't tell it was me.

  14. #14
    Silver Member Meghan4now's Avatar
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    Well Sandi, this is a perennial question. I'm somewhat out, but that really shouldn't have too much influence in the decision.

    1. If you don't want caught, you probably shouldn't do it. Alternatively, if you do it, be ready to own it. Like every other important life decision.
    2. There is security here, but it's like a lock on a door. It helps honest people stay honest. If someone really wants to find the goods on you, they will. So refer back to #1.
    3. Randomly discovering you here would require the other party to be interested in this sight and you. That's as questionable as your participation. You found me where? Why were YOU trolling that sight, hmmmm?
    4. So what? Really, once your caught, what happens? Ruin you world? Wreck your relationship? Seriously, if your world sucks so much that being caught as a CD is totally devistating, do you really want to live that life? Back to #1 and own it.
    5. Finally, the problem with lies or subterfuge is that it's a ton of work covering your tracks. Eventually you forget and make a mistake. If you have nothing to hide, this isn't a problem. Refer back to #1.
    Last edited by Meghan4now; 01-05-2020 at 08:31 PM.
    Put on a Happy Face.

  15. #15
    Aspiring Member TheHiddenMe's Avatar
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    My wife knows I dress and go out, other friends and family don't.

    Until 3 1/2 years ago, I wouldn't even write a post here, much less post a picture.

    Then I decided what did I have to lose, so I started posting comments and posting pictures. I figured if someone who knew the boy me found me on a crossdressing forum probably had their own reasons to stay quiet.

    Then I got over the fear of going out dressed. I've been out over 100 times since then (a little over 3 years ago).

    Now I write guest posts on a public blog (thanks Kandi) on my times out, like my post of today...

    https://kandis328772669.wordpress.co...with-michelle/

    So no, I'm not worried.

    However, my wife doesn't know I post here, much less on Kandi's Land. But she will never be on here, nor how would she find me on Kandi's Land. And again, if someone found me, why would they be looking on a crossdressing blog?

  16. #16
    Senior Member Glenda58's Avatar
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    Yes I post pics here and Flickr. Once my wife came up behind me with my pic up and wanted to you who that was. I just don't care anymore who knows.
    GLENDA
    I FEEL LIKE A WOMAN

  17. #17
    Junior Member
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    Pics aren't the only way to be outted

    This site outted me as they so "thoughtfully" send me a an email wishing me a happy birthday which my wife happened to see when I asked her to look at another email! Great, my wife now knows I have an identity on this sight as well as my screen name. Needless to say I rarely post anything on this site due to this breach of privacy.
    Last edited by Terrylynn; 01-05-2020 at 11:13 PM. Reason: Spelling

  18. #18
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    None of my family or friends know. Just my wife. I first started posting pictures back in the dark ages on a MySpace page and then shut that down and moved to Facebook. I also began posting on Flickr but shut that down after a while. I opened an Instagram account about a year ago but switched to private when a couple of former co-workers of mine began following me. That was WAAAY too much of a coincidence! The Instagram page has since reopened and those co-workers blocked but I guess they could easily create a new account themselves and try following me again. I'm at a point now though where I don't think I'd be bothered if someone I knew started following me again. Life's too short. Screw 'em!

  19. #19
    🌹💋🌹🌺💋🎀❤️🎀💋🌺🌹💋🌹 Patience's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Terrylynn View Post
    This site outted me as they so "thoughtfully" send me a an email wishing me a happy birthday which my wife happened to see when I asked her to look at another email! Great, my wife now knows I have an identity on this sight as well as my screen name. Needless to say I rarely post anything on this site due to this breach of privacy.
    Sorry you were outed by getting an email from this site, Terrylynn, but nobody told you to set up your account using that particular email address. Also, you probably received a confirmation code at the same address when you activated your account, so you knew there was a chance you could get an email from this site at that address anytime.

    Forums like this generate such messages electronically and the site administrators cannot guess or be responsible for the coices of individual users. There are many valid criticisms that can be made of this site, but I regret to say that your inadvertent outing was entirely your fault. Sorry.

    I set up a dedicated email for my fabulous fem self. Had you done the same, you would not have outed yourself. Sorry. I suggest you do it now, even if the cat is out of the bag in your case.

    Maybe your story will serve as a warning to others.
    Last edited by Patience; 01-06-2020 at 11:06 AM. Reason: I am not telling.
    ...and though she feels as if she is in a play, she is anyway...

  20. #20
    Platinum Member
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    I do not post pictures because I really do not have the skill or the equipment. My wife knows I like to wear women's clothing, but, to what extent I do not know. She approaches my cross dressing like an ostrich....head firmly in the sand. She did come upon this site open with my login showing. All she said was I should be more careful, intimating somebody could come across the open browser.

    I think someone would have some inclination a person is a cross dresser and then start searching sites for clues. If someone took the time and perused all the postings of Stephanie47 I'm fairly sure I have posted enough information that a person who knows me will figure it out. No picture needed. If one has the inclination and the time peruse this site without logining into the site and see how much information who can glean about yourself. There are a lot of posts about trips on specific weekends to certain locations and venues. If someone really cared they'll find. A wife? Just install a keystroke program and it's all easy.

  21. #21
    Platinum Member Teresa's Avatar
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    Sandi,
    Please don't forget when you post pictures on the forum it's not just family and friends who may come across them , you also visible to much of the English speaking World . I did find that quite scary when I used my first avatar .

    I admit I took those risks but now it's doesn't concern me too much apart from pictures can be lifted .

    As for people outing themselves by poking around this forum , some people may only visit to discover more about the problems they and their male partner face , lets not forget it is a help forum .
    Last edited by Teresa; 01-06-2020 at 05:26 AM.
    The real me ,no going back.

  22. #22
    Gold Member Helen_Highwater's Avatar
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    Sandi,

    Would they recognise you? If you look at the "Boy Vs Girl" posts the differences can be striking. It's amazing the difference a wig and a bit of slap can make to how you look.

    A couple of years ago I attended a social group meeting at which there were changing facilities. Towards the end of the night I glanced at the changing room door and saw two men walking out. My first thought was, "Where the hell did they come from?" for just a few moments later the realisation to sink in that ten minutes before I'd been sat talking to their femme selves. Had I not seen them exit the changing room and later passed them in the street I doubt I'd have recognised them.

    There are also posts here of folks walking past family members in the street and going totally un-noticed. Don't fret it too much. It's one of those little gremlins that sit on our shoulder whispering about the mob being out to get you.
    Who dares wears Get in, get out without being noticed

  23. #23
    Member HelpMe,Rhonda's Avatar
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    Not too many here, but on Flickr I do. Seems like the only people that look at them are people like us and 'admirers' or 'chasers' or whatever name you want to call them. I block the latter as fast as I can. I'm not sure how anyone would randomly happen upon the pics unless they were in the one category or the other.

  24. #24
    Junior Member Lacey86's Avatar
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    I haven't posted pics but I post on the forums. I haven't had time to dress or take pictures in forever but I don't think I'm cute dressed so I don't think even if I did take pictures that I'd ever be brave enough to post them. I'm out to my wife, and was out to a therapist a few years ago. That's about it. Wife doesn't mind if I do it without her but won't participate.

  25. #25
    Aspiring Member mbmeen12's Avatar
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    I put an emoji on my face ONLY because I need a job vs wanting one. Employers will google!

    Not only that, any pic you post is likely to be used other than its original intent....
    HRT 6th week....

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