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Thread: Is Gender Fluid the new Crossdressing?

  1. #26
    Gold Member alwayshave's Avatar
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    Vicky, I'm not gender fluid in my dressing. I'm either dressed as guy, my default, or fully female in a dress, stockings and heels. So for me, there is not in between.
    Please call me Jamie, I always_have crossdressed, I always will, "alwayshave".

  2. #27
    Aspiring Member GretchenM's Avatar
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    Labels, labels, labels. We use them for everything, mostly because Western languages tend to be based on objects rather than concepts as some Eastern languages are. Classifying people in terms of gender is really difficult. It appears to me that is because we associate gender with tangible appearance and presentation rather the performance of various traits and characteristics. Appearance is very tangible; for traits and characteristics you need to know much more about the person. I think we get the whole thing mixed up with expectations that tend to be cherry picked to fit our defined concept of gender, which is mostly superficial rather than based on internal feelings. As a result we tend to come up with classifications that are based on pretty superficial concepts that tend to be highly generalized. But we often think they represent reality - they don't. The classification groups are handy for conversation, but they may be completely inconsistent with the whole package which is mostly internal and personal.

    The whole thing, in my view as a biologist, is far, far more complex than the linear constructs that we use on a daily basis. Gender is multidimensional and therefore nearly impossible to define with precision and consistency. To me fluid means flowing and excludes jumping. But flowing of what? To me it is inner feelings and a changeable sense of self. Clothes do not define gender but rather express the current mode of inner feelings. So it all comes down to what each individual feels inside in their sense of self. That sense is produced in the brain and is based on the structure of the brain which is roughly defined by genetics and then modified by experience as it influences the plasticity of the brain. So, using this concept, each person will be different which is useful for evolutionary purposes. Unfortunately, we don't think in those terms and as a result we resort to categorizing based on specific criteria. That is not a problem until we start thinking the categories constitute the reality.

    I consider myself gender fluid and believe that is a mild to middle range transgender and is characterized by undifferentiated inner feelings with regard to self gender identity. But if a person professes that they just enjoy dressing in women's clothes with an internal sense that they are actually still male/masculine then they do not view themselves as transgender. I that is the case I respect that rather than trying to force their identity into a pigeon hole based solely on their appearance while knowing little or nothing about their more personal sense of self. They are just different from most people. No big deal. They are being true to themselves and not a rigid social standard and that is almost always a good thing.

  3. #28
    Platinum Blonde member Ressie's Avatar
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    Crossdresser - is a noun. Anyone that puts on garments associated with the opposite sex could be labeled a cross dresser.

    Gender fluid - is an adjective (describes an attribute).

    One could be both, either or neither couldn't they?
    "You're the only one to see the changes you take yourself through", Stevie Wonder

  4. #29
    Silver Member JenniferR771's Avatar
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    Good point, Ressie.
    So on your driver's license, therefore you could check both boxes or neither box. Likewise for your library card.
    "It is personal."
    "My anatomy tends left, but my hormones levels are to the right. So I am both."

  5. #30
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    All I know is I wear Brassieres, I am Male, I am not attracted to Men, never been with a Man and loves Women underwear, puzzle solved.

  6. #31
    Exploring NEPA now Cheryl T's Avatar
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    No, I don't feel it's the new CD'ing.
    I also feel that it part of the reason that the general public has so much difficulty accepting us and the transgender community. There are just so many different boxes that people want to tick off to be unique it confuses everyone.
    It was so much simpler when I was a teen. There were Transvestites, Drag Queens and Transsexuals. Now I need a personal psychoanalyst, personal trainer, personal style adviser and so on just to fit me into some category that tells someone else who I am. I've been trying to figure out myself for nearly 6 decades, how can I know now with all these choices??
    Can you see the REAL Me?

  7. #32
    Sort of a n00b Pixie_94's Avatar
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    I don't even understand any of that and it isn't a common factor, I guess, so it's likely it doesn't count

  8. #33
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    I will add to your confusion. There is also gender non conforming. Which means dosen't conform to the gender norms. You can literally use 10 different labels and all be correct in some way to be just one person. If you are fine being a crossdresser and feel that fits who you are use it. If not then figure out what fits you and use that. In the trans community there is no right or wrong way to be who or what you are. Outside of that, even with the LGB community that might not apply.
    We were discussing this in our group last week and one of the girls said she may be just a crossdresser as a relative had brought that up. Our facilitator said crossdressers are welcome to if that is where you feel you fit. This is the nonbinary gender queer group. What I have found though is if you want to be there in any of the groups you are more then welcome to come and join in. This seams to be the morn in the trans community.

  9. #34
    Reality Check Krisi's Avatar
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    First of all, the "media" has too little actual news so they have to generate it. Don't take everything you see in the media seriously.

    Second, where does anyone come up with the "new crossdressing"? "Crossdressing" is a person of one sex, usually male, dressing in clothes normally intended for the other sex. For the most part, it's men dressing as women. It's pretty simple.
    Krisi

  10. #35
    Honesty Is Not A Sin Vicky_Scot's Avatar
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    Thank you all for your very informative and honest responses. x
    Don't Take Life To Serious, It's Only Temporary

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    It is often wrongly assumed that a person chooses to be transgender and one day decides they want to live the remainder of their life as transgender .This couldn't be further from the truth. Transgender is established sometime during pregnancy, probably in the first three months and certainly well before an individual is able to make a choice.

  11. #36
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    For myself I have to take the position that there may be two identities lurking within my gene pool. Over the years I have become accustom to doing things I want to do without labeling them or making some sort of identification. Perhaps I am liberated in the sense I feel I do not have to conform to societal norms and expectations. Over the years I have seen societal norms and expectations change; female doctors, male nurses, etc. Some politicians feel their own self interests are being attacked when others do not conform to their self identities. What are they afraid of?

  12. #37
    Aspiring Member jacques's Avatar
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    hello Vicky,
    "gender fluid" is not a new name for Crossdressers; but some crossdressers can be gender fluid.
    luv J

  13. #38
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    Hi, all. I guess I'm a little different as I am curious about the language used to describe groups of people, most specifically those of us who enjoy CD. Maybe it's my engineering schooling that has me studying processes, measure systems, and find a calculus to things. Perhaps it's me struggling to understand myself; to find some inner peace, which is still elusive. I guess I hope that the evolution and specificity in the language will help make it easier to talk with each other. Also to help others understand and develop comfort and compassion with our joyful endeavors.

    My perspective on the terms at hand: I have made peace with "transvestite" as, technically, it is accurate, and even through it had a negative connotation, a lot of progress has been made, and we've agreed to move on from that place. I still like CD. It too is accurate and seems to reflect a non-standard "choice" of clothing. Gender fluidity and non-binary may be accurate for some where feelings, emotions, self-image, and desires move beyond mere dress play.
    Last edited by Kathleen Ann Trees; 01-10-2020 at 10:50 PM. Reason: spelling

  14. #39
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    I miss the days when we were just the "TV/TS community", simple and easy.

  15. #40
    Member Star01's Avatar
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    When I read about using the proper pronoun the first thing that comes to mind are my struggles learning all that noun and verb stuff or whatever it's called. I can hold my own in conversation even having addressed large groups and I spent some time in Toastmasters. In spite of that I couldn't even describe what a pronoun is or what bearing the consulting the Greg's Reference Manual has on my gender issues and crossdressing.

    I just know that I'm me and that sometimes I feel a pink fog that makes me feel good but causes all kinds of logistical problems in my day to day life.

    What's the pronoun for that and what the hell is a pronoun anyways?

  16. #41
    Platinum Blonde member Ressie's Avatar
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    I know it's nearly impossible to remember middle school English class^

    It seems these newer descriptive categories have surfaced because many younger folks wanna pinpoint exactly what they are, i.e. "I'm GQ (genderqueer) female pansexual."

    Now that person fits into a special group of folks but each are individually unique. They really only have a few things in common.
    "You're the only one to see the changes you take yourself through", Stevie Wonder

  17. #42
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    Quote Originally Posted by Vickie_CDTV View Post
    I miss the days when we were just the "TV/TS community", simple and easy.
    I an remember when this board only had two main sections called "Male to Female Crossdressers" and "Female to Male Crossdressers".

    Now we spend our time trying to decide where we belong and who belongs there with us.

  18. #43
    maxi midi closets's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Robertacd View Post
    While I agree with you. Most CD's don't.

    I posted an image of a "transgender umbrella" that included crossdressers a while ago and crossdressers came out of the woodwork to claim they were not part of the TG umbrella and don't want to be lumped in with "those people"...
    interesting b/c some trans mtf use cd label as a slur. perhaps they are not happy that cds look female without identifying as one or whatever

    i personally think some cds are trans and to varying degrees

    i could consider myself gender fluid when it comes to clothes b/c i do mix in female pieces w my guy clothes

  19. #44
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    Quote Originally Posted by closets View Post
    interesting b/c some trans mtf use cd label as a slur. perhaps they are not happy that cds look female without identifying as one or whatever

    i personally think some cds are trans and to varying degrees
    From my own personal experience I believe crossdressers are transgender people in denial. You are right about it being used as a slur in some TG communities. I have heard the arguments against CD's and even more so MIAD's by TG people who believe CD's and MIAD's detract from them being taken seriously.

    BTW: I was a CD who has adamantly argued that I was not TG on this very board. Through the years I have realized that I was lying to myself most of all.
    Last edited by Robertacd; 01-27-2020 at 09:48 AM.

  20. #45
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    I don't believe you can get to trans without trying on a woman's dress so, yes, some crossdressers will ultimately go to trans.

    How weird would it be if you were running around earth in boy mode for years and years and then one day, come out as a woman?

  21. #46
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    Oh, but Rachel that is exactly what some people's story is. There is a TG person in my support group in her 40's that swears she never had the urge to CD or felt the slightest bit TG untill a few months ago. Then it hit like a ton of bricks and they are already talking hormones and transitioning.

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