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Thread: Is The Mobile Phone A Deterrent For Us?

  1. #26
    Platinum Member alwayshave's Avatar
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    Vicky, the world has changed and there are cameras everywhere. So while you are with people from your home town you run the risk they snap a photo and post to Facebook, you are be videoed constantly.
    Please call me Jamie, I always_have crossdressed, I always will, "alwayshave".

  2. #27
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    Once you step out your door, you can expect pictures or video to be taken of you. Go to a bank or ATM, you are on video. Go to a store, you are on video, Gas station, same thing. Some of the major cities have video cameras rolling 24/7, especially in high crime areas. And pf course, 95% of the population is walking around with a cell phone with picture taking capabilities.

    That said, if you are still recognizable as your male self while dressed as a female, you need to work on your look. A different wig perhaps, one that covers more of your face and is a different color than your natural hair. Better makeup skills, a better selection of clothing, etc. And if you dress to blend in, people aren't as likely to really examine you.

    The thing that may give you away is association. If you drive a unique car, folks may put two and two together. Same thing for being out with your wife. If folks know your wife, they may figure out that that tall blonde with her is actually you in drag.

    You have to decide if the risk is worth it, then do what you or your wife thinks is best.
    Krisi

  3. #28
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    Helen,
    I would say it is an infringement of privacy possibly bordering sexual abuse .

    If I can turn this one round , I was photographing a wedding , the groom , best man and ushers were all wearing kilts . During the reception with drinks flowing freely in the hotel grounds two of the bridesmaids crept up behind the groom and best man and took " UPKILT " pictures ! I'm not sure what the outcome was but it did raise some smiles at the time , I found it quite funny seeing the flash go off inside their kilts .

  4. #29
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    I agree with Krisi 100%.

  5. #30
    Senior Member kayegirl's Avatar
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    I also agree 100% with both Kristen and Tracii.
    Teresa , all I can say is that it was a good job that I or any of my Scots relatives were not at the wedding, or upkilted , otherwise those bridesmaids would have been travelling home with their phones in the same place that Helen suggests.
    Last edited by kayegirl; 01-10-2020 at 05:27 PM.

  6. #31
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    I don't personally find it a deterrent. But then I know I was in the video on the news during pride week here in Vegas, as well as several pictures for publications. Yes know and while everyone involved was given the opportunity to exclude themselves I opeted not to. I will add the was at the LGBTQ+ center so everyone was polite about it and always asked if they could do or take pictures.

  7. #32
    Gold Member Helen_Highwater's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Teresa View Post
    Helen,
    I would say it is an infringement of privacy possibly bordering sexual abuse .
    Teresa,

    I disagree, it crosses the border, it is a form of sexual abuse. Would you tolerate a man doing it to say a daughter of yours? I doubt it.



    Quote Originally Posted by Teresa View Post
    Helen,

    If I can turn this one round , I was photographing a wedding , the groom , best man and ushers were all wearing kilts . During the reception with drinks flowing freely in the hotel grounds two of the bridesmaids crept up behind the groom and best man and took " UPKILT " pictures ! I'm not sure what the outcome was but it did raise some smiles at the time , I found it quite funny seeing the flash go off inside their kilts .
    Yep I can see the funny side and as an example it does differ in that this is a group of people who know each other. If you want to find out just how unfunny it can get, go to Scotland and try it with a regular kilt wearer. I hear the Scottish NHS will look after you just fine.
    Who dares wears Get in, get out without being noticed

  8. #33
    Banned Read only Vicky_Scot's Avatar
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    Thank you all for your informative and honest responses x

  9. #34
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    I am a Washingtonian. Yes, there is now an "up skirt" law. There have been instances of men taking pictures of young kids at all sorts of venues without any parental permission. Nothing can be done about it. There is no expectation of privacy in public, especially at a news worthy event. However, there is common courtesy. If you're a tourist and you want to take a picture of an individual you should be asking for permission. When I was a Viet Nam Memorial (Wall) in Washington, D.C. with two platoon mates and wearing tee shirts and baseball caps of our infantry brigade a group of Japanese tourists asked if they could take pictures of us with the Memorial as a back drop. I suspect the three of us ended up on numerous Japanese Facebook pages. The group was cordial enough to ask for permission and not violate our privacy. As a person I have never taken pictures of anyone without their permission. Heck, when visiting in eastern Washington my wife and I asked the homeowner of the house my wife lived in sixty years ago if it was alright to take a picture of the house.

    Unfortunately, when you're out en femme expect the worst.

  10. #35
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    Stephanie47
    While I did not expect privacy at the event it was always extended to us. I am aware a news crew will normally just record what they feel fit. I dont know if this was at the request of the center or because we were in what is perceived as a safe space although it is public area. We were simply asked if it was ok to take pictures or film and if you were not comfortable with it you could move to another area. Personally I was not concerned and only elected not to be interviewed.

  11. #36
    Miss Judy Judy-Somthing's Avatar
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    Sometimes I worry about someone my wife knows sees me dress shopping.
    I also worry about getting into an accident close to the place where I buy most of my dresses which is far from anywhere I would be at that time of day!
    "This is ME" I am not CRAZY, I'm just a GUY who likes dresses!
    Since allot of men dress up in woman's clothing that makes it a manly thing to do!
    Much more fun than fishing.
    I do construction like house building and I love CD-ing, what's the difference?

  12. #37
    Sarah Adams Vintage4sarah's Avatar
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    You are so correct Krisi. I support your thoughts 100% also !
    Sarah Adams, mature girl from NH. My photos are on Flickr under vintage4sarah !

  13. #38
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    There is more to it than we tend to think about. Today with artificial intelligence (AI) your picture may be linked even if someone who does not know you and takes a picture. Most of the major social sites are already scanning and linking pictures. China is very strong in the capability.

  14. #39
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    I was thinking about this thread last night and there's one thing I want to add:

    If your dressing in public prompts people to whip out their camera or phone and take a photo of you, you're doing it wrong. Maybe you need to tone it down a bit. Lose the micro mini skirt and the stripper heels. Tone down the makeup and jewelry.

    If you don't want to be a target for photos, dress and act like the women around you even if that means a knee length skirt or dress and flats. Or jeans and a blouse.
    Krisi

  15. #40
    Another fine dress AngelaYVR's Avatar
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    Krisi, if you think a knee length skirt saves you from attracting attention then you might need a little more real world experience. And yes, let's shift the blame away from the cretins with the cameras and evolve to suit the lowest common denominator.

  16. #41
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    I've never been in a situation to be able to dress en femme, so have only been able to go the MIAD route. When I was in my 20's I would have a few occasions to drive a couple hours from home and dress feminine in short sexy skirt, pantyhose, short heeled but cute shoes or sometimes a black leotard and tan dance tights with a short crop t-shirt and ladies tennis shoes. While I did get looks it was before the proliferation of cell phones with cameras and social media, so only had to worry about what people saw while "in the act". Last year I went into a small department store in tan dance tights with black lycra volleyball shorts and waist length ladies athletic hoodie. Caught a kid trying his best to snap a pic of me but I managed to evade. I think I'll have to dial it back a bit going forward. Shame, enjoyed those outings from the past. So yes, sadly, cell phone cameras will force me to change my behavior.

  17. #42
    Member SHINY-J's Avatar
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    I think this may have been an issue 10-15 years ago. At that point, it was a perfect storm for a massive technology advance. It was then that just about everyone had finally gotten a mobile phone... phone technology had just advanced to the point that every phone had a camera and most of them had internet/WiFi capability which in turn meant that you could take pics and post to MySpace or Facebook... it was a new craze that people were discovering... at that point, it would be easy to have a picture of someone hit the internet and go worldwide quickly... simply because everyone on the entire planet wasn’t doing it at that time.

    Fast forward to the present and with Facebook, Instagram, Snapchat,kik, Flickr, etc... it’s beyond ridiculous how many pics are taken and uploaded every single second... there’s so much out there that it’s essentially impossible for a random, innocuous picture of someone to really get noticed.. you’d have to be doing and/or wearing something really outrageous for a picture to truly get “out there”. Add in that if they aren’t taking your picture with your consent, they’re probably at a distance and it isn’t going to be very clear and it would be really difficult to recognize you fully dressed en femme.

    Also, you are constantly on video... surveillance technology is so cheap and has advanced so much that it’s not just ATM’s, banks, and late night gas station cash registers with cameras... they absolutely everywhere. I worked in bars/clubs for years both in college and after.., there wasn’t a single one that didn’t have cameras set up covering every angle... the office I work at now has cameras all around both inside and out... every single building that’s near my office has cameras all around. Pretty much every store is going to have cameras in it... same with malls, movie theaters, etc.. parking garages and many parking lots have cameras,.., not to mention all of the cameras set up at stoplights and many busy intersections... also, don’t forget about how many people have dashcams set up in their cars ... I see them much more frequently these days.

    The fact is, one way or another, there’s going to be pics of you somewhere... they may not be up close drivers license photos, but somewhere, you’re on a video or picture in some capacity. The good news is that unless you’re doing something crazy or wearing something wild and outrageous, then it’ll probably be deleted or be buried away deep in someone’s phone that’ll never e uploaded and never see the light of day.
    Last edited by SHINY-J; 03-07-2020 at 12:12 PM.

  18. #43
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    In Scotland, the home of the kilt, it is illegal to upskirt. The law does not distinguish kilts from other skirts or mention the gender of the victim. When I go out fully dressed I dress very smartly in appropriate places and no one has ever photographed me with a mobile phone or camera - as far as I know. When I dress as a man in a skirt or dress I would expect it to happen more but it has not. Maybe Scots are just more tolerant and polite - a man in a skirt or a fully dressed crossdresser is just part of life not something to record and put on social media. It is not something I worry about. The only exception is the guy sitting at the entrance to the women's changing room playing with his phone. He is bored and might just take a picture of the guy carrying the dresses into or out of the changing room. I have only seen this once and simply waited until he had left.

  19. #44
    Isn't Life Grand? AllieSF's Avatar
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    As others have already said, when you are out, you are basically outing yourself, yes, hopefully to strangers that will never communicate anything about you back to someone who knows you. That being said, to make it safer for you, you need to consider location, location and location first and then how possible/probable it may be that you would run into someone who knows you and your wife. Then it boils down to is the enjoyment of the moment worth the risk. Good luck and enjoy.

  20. #45
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    Quote Originally Posted by Krisi View Post
    If your dressing in public prompts people to whip out their camera or phone and take a photo of you, you're doing it wrong. Maybe you need to tone it down a bit. Lose the micro mini skirt and the stripper heels. Tone down the makeup and jewelry.If you don't want to be a target for photos, dress and act like the women around you even if that means a knee length skirt or dress and flats. Or jeans and a blouse.
    It's not a matter of doing it wrong. You can do it totally womanly with a knee length dress, flats, simple makeup and run of the mill hair style/wig. It's the physical features that will draw attention. I'm six foot and 195 lbs. With all the "encouragement" on this site do you really think I would fly under the radar? Not hardly. Maybe, I should just "do it" and throw all caution to the wind, but, that will not stop somebody from taking a picture and posting it on some website or Facebook page. And, just hope the person does not take a shot of your car's license plate.

  21. #46
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    Earlier this week I was at a bridal salon trying on dresses. I tried on 12, with at least 3 pic taken of each one.
    In the background on the pics were numerous women and teens viewing dresses on themselves, as I.
    Each one was having some pics taken. I'm sure I'm in the background of a few of them.
    When out in public you have to own it.
    By the way, I only pass to a blind person from a very long distance.

  22. #47
    Senior Member faltenrock's Avatar
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    Big risk, I never let anyone take a picture of me dressed, only with my own mobile phone.
    My new flickr account has pictures to look at:

    https://www.flickr.com/people/bmw325it/

  23. #48
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    Quote Originally Posted by Vicky_Scot View Post
    Going on a break with my wife and said i wanted to spend some time as Vicky. she was ok with that but did make a valid point.

    There are people from our city whom we do not know going on the same trip and she brought up a valid point. If we meet someone
    from our home town and what if they decide to take a photo of us or me for their own comedy value or just to have a photo.

    Got me thinking that years ago we did not have to worry about snap happy people using their phones to take sneaky snaps and also the worry that
    30 seconds later it can be all over social media.

    So is this a new deterrent for us? x
    Yes, mobile phones can be a problem. Many years ago, most people did not carry cameras with them everywhere they went (including the bathroom). Smart phones have made everyone a photographer (skilled or not). And of course, these days, there are video cameras in stores, banks, ATMs gas stations, and in some cities, on every street corner. If you leave your home, dressed or not. you will be photographed.

    The issue is, Does it matter? Hopefully, when you get yourself all dolled up, you won't be recognizable. People may realize you are a man in woman's clothes but they won't say "Oh, that's Jim from our church." So out by yourself, away from your neighborhood, friends and co-workers, you're pretty safe.

    The problem is, if you are with your wife, if someone knows or recognizes your wife and sees you standing by her side, they may put two and two together and you've been outed. You should have this planned ahead of time, you being her friend, neighbor, cousin, whatever, but they may see through it. And photos are a bigger risk because you have no control over who sees them.

    In the end, you and your wife have to analyze the risk and make your own decision. Best of luck and enjoy your trip.
    Krisi

  24. #49
    Ah-May-Lee
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    When I use to go to night clubs in NYC back in the day, there were always guys with cameras. They worked for magazines and other stuff. I am on sites today looking at these photos that these guys took hoping to see me back then. I found some people I know but not me.

    The only problem today is someone taking a picture of me not ready for the camera. Sort of like how paparazzi take pics of actresses without make up. I wouldn't like a picture of me throwing up in some alley with my wig on backwards. And today, everyone is the paparazzi.
    In solitude where we are least alone. Byron

  25. #50
    Senior Member Angela Marie's Avatar
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    I am extremely cautious when I go out dressed; change of clothes, makeup remover, etc. But realistically at some point in time I will see someone I know. Maybe they won’t recognize me; but if they do I?m going to have to own it. The expression of my feminine side is important to me. If someone judges me simply on my gender expression; oh well.

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