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Thread: Combining male and female dressing styles

  1. #1
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    Combining male and female dressing styles

    I was wondering what other members thoughts are on blending ladies apparel (clothes, make up, shaving, accesories etc with male apparel.
    I ask this mostly because I am nervous about presenting as a passable lady in public, so I may wear woman's jeans, and a male T shirt, but also
    have my nails polished clear and my ears pierced. I'm sure we all have our comfort zones when it comes to dressing in public. I also love to converse with
    the ladies around me for opinions while in a department store while observing hair or skin products, which gives me a wonderful feminine feeling of being one of the girls . Though unfortunately my male side likes to remind me I'm not.
    I love the concept gender fluidity. Most woman where I live appear to be polite about men presenting as woman, and some are enthusiastic to show you
    how they dress. That's sort of where I am at right now, at 63 years of age.
    I find it interesting that I am a little dissapoinnted when the cashier calls me sir when I check out.
    Does anyone hear have similar feelings or thoughts on the subject?

  2. #2
    Member ShelbyDawn's Avatar
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    All the time every day.
    I suffer from terminal M.I.A.D. syndrome so have given up ever passing or even trying. Just not gonna happen.
    Still, I wear a bra and panties, women's jeans with male dress shirts with my Lucchese boots. as my standard daily attire.
    I wear tank tops for undershirts because I don't like the way sleeves bunch up under my arms pits and have found that women's tanks not only come in all sorts of pretty colors(that nobody sees but me) but are much softer fabric than men's.

    It's just how I dress.

    Point is, find your comfort zone, what works for you and go with it. As you feel the need, push the boundaries a little and see how it goes. We are designed to be in motion physically, mentally, spiritually and emotionally, so go and grow...


    Shelby

  3. #3
    Gold Member Helen_Highwater's Avatar
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    Trysha,

    Many here do mix and match their clothing and to some extent mainstream fashion has beaten us to the punch is as much as I see males dressed in skinny jeans that are little different to femme ones. Tee shirts and hoodies are fairly inter changeable to. A pair of white sneakers is, well a pair of white sneakers.

    "I ask this mostly because I am nervous about presenting as a passable lady in public" I'm one of many here who gave up on the idea of passing in public. Ain't goin' to happen. That doesn't stop me and many others from going out enfemme. That's not to say we don't do our best to look as good as we can. Pass I don't, blend in I can.

    "I also love to converse with the ladies around me for opinions while in a department store while observing hair or skin products, which gives me a wonderful feminine feeling of being one of the girls." I could be way way off the mark here but from my experience those around with whom you converse are likely to think you're a gay man. I get to chat to ladies while dressed all the time, many times it's they who initiate the conversation. They are however under no illusion that I'm a man of that I'm sure but they treat me too as one of the girls.

    Everyone has at some point been nervous about going out enfemme. The forum is littered with tales of first time out which almost universally describe the initial fear followed by the onset of calm to be further followed by sheer enjoyment and a desire for more.

    By all means go out in hybrid mode, if that's what you want to do I for one won't say you're wrong to do so. I do feel however that you're so close to reaching the point where with a little more work you could join those who go out and about enfemme. By all means do the baby steps, night time drive, fast food drive through, fuel the car, the short walk to the post box. All will build confidence and who knows one day......
    Who dares wears Get in, get out without being noticed

  4. #4
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    Hi Trysha,

    I also try and blend a few women items into my every day wardrobe; I have never even tried to pass as a woman - I have short hair, usually a short beard, skinny but definitely a masculine frame. So this method rules out skirts, dresses and crop tops of course but skinny jeans and blouses under unisex jumpers still means I can enjoy the benefits of feeling feminine. To some I guess I may present as gay... which is a terrible thing to say, I know plenty of gay men who look like every other man but thats society creating a stereotype.

    Whenever I think of gender fluidity I always think of Conchita, that Eurovision entry of a man wearing a dress, making no effort to pass but instead embracing both genders simultaneously. A few weeks ago I asked a similar question about the topic: and it was interesting to realise its the distinction between the genders that is the excitement of crossdressing so gender neutral clothing is maybe a bit... boring. As I stated in that thread, for me I have no desire to 'go the full distance' and transition so exploring womans clothing is always going to be limited for me but having that bit of grey area in the middle is what I take advantage of; black leggings with ladies trainers? no problem!

  5. #5
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    Thanks for all your nice replies. I will work on your suggestions.

  6. #6
    Senior Member Majella St Gerard's Avatar
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    You do you, but from experience I'd have to say that that style attracts a lot of attention.

  7. #7
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    I have done that for a good 11 years and its just normal now.
    Nobody cares if you mix your clothing between male and female if that is what you want to do.
    I'm not into skirts and dresses in my 50/50 mode but I will wear them if I am dressed 100% female.
    Not one to wear a dress or skirt in what would be my more male mode because doing things for shock value just is not my thing.
    Last edited by Tracii G; 01-11-2020 at 06:12 PM.

  8. #8
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    "I am a little disappointed when the cashier calls me sir when I check out."

    Don't you think the average cashier is going to be confused if you present in a blend of male and female clothing, especially if your physical features are obviously masculine? If you feel that is you, then do it.

  9. #9
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    ^^^This.

    That's why I don't blend male and female. I can get dolled up enough to be fairly frequently called "ma'am", but if I do anything to dilute my femininity, all bets are off.

    I am working on a more casual look because women don't always go around in skirts and dresses when going to the hardware store or buying groceries, but even then I am careful to wear only feminine things (jeans, tops), and accessorize. Plus wig and makeup. I haven't yet gone out "casual" because I'm still working on the look, but eventually I'll have to as I am on the cusp of decision whether to stop crossdressing... as a man and going full-time female, because it sounds like "DADT" in my case will become Divide Assets Divorce Trans-spouse.

    Let's face it girls, for us to be called "ma'am" requires a fair bit of work and a feminine presentation.

  10. #10
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    I do it daily. I now own more female jeans then male jeans and wear them pretty much every day. I have two pair of women’s booties and one pair of women’s boots, all of which clearly have feminine heels, that I wear out on a regular basis. I wear panties on a daily basis, I think the only thing that isn’t regularly female is my shirt. That is kind of hard to pass off in male mode, however I do have one or two that may work that I have not tried yet. As far as being noticed, I’ve had several women notice my boots, and recently had a lady on two occasions in the same store come by and simply stare at my boots. Other than that I’ve really not had any reaction at all. I do not wear a bra without forms so when presenting in male mode this would be completely contrary had I done that. I would not mind wearing a bra without forms but have yet to venture out to do that. Bottom line is I think if you keep everything close to the metal as far as neutral colors patterns etc., nobody’s really going to notice or care.

  11. #11
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    What do you expect the cashier to call you?
    You are a male wearing a mix of male and female clothes right?

  12. #12
    Exploring NEPA now Cheryl T's Avatar
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    I always blend my things together. Not much choice anymore since all my jeans are womens, most of my shoes too.
    Depending on what I'm doing and where I'm going I'll even add a little mascara and do my brows a bit before I go out.
    My nails always have clear polish at least, my ears have been double pierced for nearly 20 years and of course a touch of lip gloss helps.

  13. #13
    Junior Member JessicasRabbit's Avatar
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    For the past couple of years, my nails have been painted all different colors quite regularly. All comments have always been positive compliments; especially to one of my regular colors.
    In my daily wear, I have incorporated pink slowly and almost wear it daily now; especially hoodies. At first, it was, "On Wednesdays, we wear pink." It just kind of took off.
    My ears are both pierced. I wear a variety of small to medium hoops en drab.

  14. #14
    Member Bea_'s Avatar
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    the link expresses how I'd see my public presentation developing were I inclined to face the drama. The consideration of my family's feelings would keep me from following through with any of it. I have and like a beard. I also have a neanderthal unibrow to which I've always been attached. The wife loves the beard and brow.

    https://www.modemuth.de/d/intro.htm
    "To be loved but not known is comforting but superficial. To be known and not loved is our greatest fear. But to be fully known and truly loved is, well, a lot like being loved by God. It is what we need more than anything. It liberates us from pretense, humbles us out of our self-righteousness, and fortifies us for any difficulty life can throw at us." - Timothy Keller, The Meaning of Marriage

  15. #15
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    Because as I grew older I looked more masculine I gave up trying to look like a woman. I do dress in women's clothes full time except for rare occasions. I wear jeans, tops, blouses and of course panties and bras. My t-shirts are women's except for a few trophy been their shirts. Can people figure out that I'm wearing women's clothes? Yes! It gets my back rubbed by women. lol. I own it and have shopped with a lot of women when I purchased women's clothes.

  16. #16
    Aspiring Shopaholic BTWimRobin's Avatar
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    I've been going out on occasion in hybrid mode as well. Women's jeans, guy tops, panties and a cami. My nails are long, for a guy, and well manicured. I would like to add a nude polish the next time I go out.
    - Robin


    Because life is too short not to.

  17. #17
    Loving my femme side tifftg's Avatar
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    Trysha,

    Thanks for starting this thread and appreciate all the insights. I am 65 and usually either dress fully or not at all. I am finding myself wanting to drift to a more feminine style at times when I go out. I put on some skinny jeans yesterday to drop off and then shop at Goodwill. Toe in the water.

  18. #18
    Senior Member Asew's Avatar
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    I see myself as non-binary. For me this means picking and choosing the male aspects and female aspects I like. For example my appearance today has male aspects (Hawaiian red men's shirt, boxers, red men's flip flops, 3 days of stubble growth, no boobs) and female aspect (maxi jean skirt, bracelet, painted toenails, long hair). This is kind of my typical look for outings, usually a t-shirt instead of a button up if just staying at home. Sometimes I do male mode per the wife, and other times I go more femme such as a girls night out with out CDs.

    As such, I don't care if I am maam'ed or sir'ed, just as long as they don't seem rude about it. I know having both aspects can be confusing to strangers so understanding is the best policy.

  19. #19
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    I always know that unless I put the effort in I will always be seen as a man, but not being called Mam at the checkout counter just gave
    me a deep longing to hear those words. I found it interesting that being a biological man I desired so much to be acknowledged as a woman.
    I guess I better learn to live with that or work on my presentation alot more.

  20. #20
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    I guess I'm a M.I.A.D as well.

    I have no interest in bras, hair, make-up, etc.

    I've always wanted to mix skirts/tights with sweaters in guy mode.

    I've been able to find a lot of inspiration on fashion blogs and pinterest. I don't know the rules for posting links so Ill err on the side of caution and not.

    Maybe one day Ill find the courage.

  21. #21
    Senior Member Tracy Irving's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Trysha View Post
    I may wear woman's jeans, and a male T shirt
    Quote Originally Posted by Stephanie47 View Post
    Don't you think the average cashier is going to be confused if you present in a blend of male and female clothing
    I hope you aren't implying that a man (pretending to be a woman by) hiding his features behind makeup, a wig, women's clothing and other accessories is going to be less confusing to a cashier than seeing what is obviously a man in what might look like a pair of women's jeans. I give the general public way more credit than that.

    I regularly wear any combination of women's shoes, socks, sweat pants or blue jeans and shirts that are, to the casual observer, virtually identical to their male counterpart. Not one person has EVER confused me with a woman.

  22. #22
    Silver Member Micki_Finn's Avatar
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    Well, my thoughts are this: do whatever makes you happy. Blending men?s and women?s clothing is bad fashion, but most of the women here aren?t too concerned about that so if that?s you, go for it.

    The main problem with trying to combine is that they are made for two different body types, so if you pad out, your guy clothes will fit funny and if you don?t, your women?s clothes will fit funny.

    [SIZE=1]- - - Updated - - -[/SIZE]

    Quote Originally Posted by Tracy Irving View Post
    I hope you aren't implying that a man (pretending to be a woman by) hiding his features behind makeup, a wig, women's clothing and other accessories is going to be less confusing to a cashier than seeing what is obviously a man in what might look like a pair of women's jeans. I give the general public way more credit than that.

    I regularly wear any combination of women's shoes, socks, sweat pants or blue jeans and shirts that are, to the casual observer, virtually identical to their male counterpart. Not one person has EVER confused me with a woman.
    She was specifically referring to being misgendered by the clerk (see the quote) and she is 100% correct. If you dress half and half, you aren?t allowed to be disappointed when someone flips a coin and comes up with the wrong answer.

    By your own telling, you are wearing 100% women?s clothes (even if they are ?guy? styles) so it?s really not comparable to wearing half and half. You may think they?re indistinguishable from men?s versions, but they?re not.
    Last edited by Micki_Finn; 01-16-2020 at 05:07 PM.

  23. #23
    Senior Member Tracy Irving's Avatar
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    I always figure that the readers my writings are just as smart (if not smarter) as me. So, if I can figure this stuff out...

    Micki_Finn,
    Trysha wrote of many things. One of which you brought up to me in your first paragraph. As I did not comment on that sentence, I will ignore yours.

    I never wrote that I only wear 100% women's clothing. What I did write is that I wear any combination of women's clothing. That could be just sock or socks and shoes or shoes, jeans and a shirt or any other combination, including half and half.

    I also never wrote that the women's clothing I wear is indistinguishable from men's versions. I did write that a casual observer would see something virtually (but not completely) identical to a male version.

    I hope this clears things up for you.

  24. #24
    I do it all the time. I wear women's jeans, shorts and capris but usually with men's shirts. I wear ballet flats whenever I can, but other types of women's shoes as well including women's athletic shoes and Keds. It is just more comfortable.
    20190419_160238.jpg
    https://balletflatsformen.wordpress.com/

  25. #25
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    All my winter boots are men's. All my running shoes are women's. I do like many women's boot styles, but have never felt like buying any. My gym clothes are an interesting mix, both styles and colors.

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