Some observations and questions going into therapy

[Aunt Kelly]

It's difficult to think in terms of doing something for myself after haven "taken one for the team" by suppressing this part of myself for so long. One the one hand there is the need to be happy, on the other is the uncertainty and fear of the unknown.

There is good reason to be concerned when tackling gender identity issues. Let's face it, a diagnosis of gender dysphoria, and the prospect of an effective treatment regimen, can be daunting. Anyone not cognizant of that has not been paying attention here.
That said, you still want to get it sorted. The alternative is continued doubt, anxiety and suffering, and there is no reason to suffer that when you don't have to.