Hello everyone!
I honestly don't know how I forgot to even post anything about this before, but here it goes!
I can guess that anyone who sees anything about my previous threads can easily notice I had issues and needed psychological assistance to do something about the reoccurrent guilt, shame and even self-loathing.
In the end I saved up a decent quantity of money from a work I was doing and with some help I found a good therapist. I went to two sessions. The first one was more about my self-esteem (or lack of it), some measures to take when destructive thoughts come to me and a way to keep track of them. I didn't bring up anything about my crossdressing that time, but I told everything I have felt, even how at some points I considered more drastic courses of action.
The second session went about how to reinforce my self-esteem and after a while I was able to tell the therapist about my crossdressing and all the trouble it has meant to me at home. I was afraid to be honest, but after listening to me, she fortunately didn't see it as any sort of fetish (unlike someone at home) and took into account the details I told. After that, she even mentioned that it isn't a dysfunctional behaviour and that I'm actually in a dysfunctional enviroment for all the trouble I have gotten previously and having to try to supress it.
I haven't had any destructive thoughts anymore, just some occassional ones of purging the last of my stash, since I can't even go to a clothing store yet and I'm sick of having to wash only when no one else is at home, despite the help. But I haven't been to therapy after that second session. I don't know if it would make sense.