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Thread: Question about forum categories

  1. #1
    Member Star01's Avatar
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    Aug 2018

    Question about forum categories

    I hung around here lurking for quite a while before deciding to participate in the discussions a few months ago. During my lurking, reading and learning time I read posts in both the Crossdressing and Transgender sections and there are familiar names in both. As I mentioned a while ago I'm finding that dressing is a part of who I am but posts in the transgender section seem to resonate more with me. I'm old and wise enough to know that jumping to conclusions will only cause further confusion so I am limiting my posts to the crossdressing section until I get into therapy and sort things out. I suppose that if were to I post or reply in the transgender section it is dependent on what I believe about myself and not what anyone else thinks. Some posts limit responses to people who identify in specific ways so I am aware of that and I respect those guidelines along with limiting my posts to this section until I get a better grasp of who I am when all of the layers are pulled away.

    My question is probably closer to an observation but I presume that girls who post in both sections started out identifying as crossdressers until they understood themselves better. Am I correct in my observation? I'm in kind of a confusing place where feminizing myself in subtle ways, shaving, feminine manicure and clear polish and trimmed brows are more important to me than say for example wearing a bra and forms or going out in public en femme. The emphasis on going out kind of reminds me of way back in my early 20's when we'd smoke a certain herb. The phrase "let's show" aka smoke in public was a dare that sometimes defied logic and kind of reminds me of some of the posts on this forum that sometimes come across as advocate going out en femme as a necessary step regardless of circumstances.

    I'm retired and enjoy my home life and aside from my obsession with feminizing my appearance as much as possible to balance with my dadt I do not feel incomplete if my quick run to the hardware store to grab a part in the middle of a plumbing project puts the emphasis on quick and not how I'm dressed. Truth be told I am a home body who practically lives in sweats this time of the year. In my world going out to the club dressed to kill isn't exciting because I wouldn't go out on the town in drab either. I suppose most of my questions will be answered starting later this week at my first appointment so I'm not fishing for any speculation on where I fall in the CD/Transgender spectrum but simply an observation based on reading through old posts. I do know that I would do more dressing if my circumstances permitted but that is a whole other post.

    Anyways, back on point. Comments about posting in more than one section and what led some of you to do so.
    Last edited by Star01; 01-19-2020 at 01:02 PM.

  2. #2
    Platinum Member Teresa's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2013
    If you feel you need to ask a question in a particular section no one will stop you , maybe the mods may move it but unless you ask in the right section you may not get all the answers you need .

    I do agree about the Cding label , when I first joined the forum I really hadn't accepted it , that is the great thing about the forum we can find ourselves , I admit I was in a mess when I first joined .

    Your take on the need to go out in the RW is your view which you are entitled to , obviously it doesn't fit in with other people's needs . I separated from my wife to give me the opportunity to find myself and achieve a balance in my life , going full time was the only way . I admit it is one heck of a challenge but to me it was a logical step .

    Again best of luck with your first session , there really isn't anything to worry about , I'm sure you will have no regrets .
    Last edited by Teresa; 01-19-2020 at 01:06 PM.
    The real me , no going back.

  3. #3
    Banned Read only
    Join Date
    Sep 2016
    Phoenix, Arizona
    Hi Star,

    My immediate response is "don't be afraid to post anywhere as long as your observations seem relevant and helpful either to others or to yourself."

    I say this although you seem to be asking for comments from people who do post in both forums, which I never have; not that I can recall. (Incidentally I don't see any forum labeled "Transgender" here; I assume you're referring to the Transsexual forum.) But the question here is why shouldn't you post in the Transsexual forum? Why don't I post there? It's simply because I don't identify as "transsexual"! Perhaps I could post something relevant or helpful there. Perhaps I could gain additional insights about myself from reading that forum more regularly. Perhaps it's "my fault" for being just too plain lazy to do so, and perhaps I'm missing something by not doing so!

    However, if you personally feel that posts in the Transsexual forum "resonate more" with you, I would absolutely encourage you to post there and ask questions there. You don't have to jump to any conclusions about "where you belong" on the transgender spectrum. You may well gain more insights about yourself in addition to what you get from therapy.

  4. #4
    Silver Member Aunt Kelly's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2016
    Greater Houston
    You are astute in your observation, Star. There are several of us who participate in various sections of the forum. I contribute where I can, under the rules of those areas. The way you express your gender identity absolutely need not confine you to one such area. Where your questions and comments are "on topic" for a given area, they will be welcome. As you've pointed out, there is some crossover, especially in the CD section. There's a lot of... variety (for lack of a better term) there. I can speak only for myself when I that there was a time when I believed that it was the place I fit in best. Obviously, that's changed, but I still contribute where I can.

    Lastly, please forgive me, but your counseling appointment this week will almost certainly not answer "most of [your] questions". Coming to grips with things in counseling is a process. Stay with it and you'll get there. Courage and honesty will help things along, so just keep in mind that both you and your counselor want the same thing.

    Again, good luck to you.


    "Being honest may not get you a lot of friends, but it will always get you the right ones."
    -- John Lennon

  5. #5
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Oct 2010
    Western Washington
    I identify as a cross dresser. On occasion when the topic is appropriate I do post in the transsexual section. If my personal experience does not merit a comment, then I do not make a comment. The same applies to comments in the "Male to Female Crossdressing" section. If my personal experience is limited I just don't post. So, if the question is asked about an experience of a Male to Female Crossdresser "being with a man" I don't respond because I have not had that experience. I think common sense dictates.

  6. #6
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Nov 2004
    I am with Stephanie, if I understand the topic and have valid input I will comment in just about any section or thread. I actually do like helping people. I try to put topics I start in the section where it best belongs. Personally I identify as TG but as many being CD was part of my journey. So sometimes it's hard to decide where to post, specially when talking about going out. Stories not so much about what I was wearing but how I was accepted or felt are more for the TG section. Talking about my new boots or outfit are for the CD section.

  7. #7
    Member Star01's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2018
    Thank you for your responses that have answered my question about forum sections. One thing I note comparing my experiences to other forums I have participated in is that members of this site are much more helpful and forgiving than any other forum I have participated in which makes newcomers feel welcome.

  8. #8
    Senior Member Jean 103's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2013
    Central Coast, CA
    I post here because I feel more at home here. It is that simple.

    I have a question...... Once you are put in a box will your life be complete? Any different? and do you expect to stay in your box? for how long?

    I know it is very confusing at first, everyone is different with different wants, experiences, likes, situations. As soon as you to say if you are XYZ you belong here. There will be someone saying no I don't.

    As I said everyone is different, I'll give you an example. There is this TG support group that I have attended. If I had a TS problem I would go there for help. It as an awsome group, and I know that at least one of the members who has fully transitioned is on the other board. I know because she told me, we were talking after group one night.

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