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Thread: Titles

  1. #1
    Silver Member Leslie Mary S's Avatar
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    Titles

    When do we officially get the title as a Cross Dresser?
    --- Is it when you first put something feminine on?
    --- Is it when you start regularly wearing Feminine stuff?
    --- Is it when you realize that you are cross dressing?
    --- Is it when someone else says you are Cross Dressing?
    And lastly could it be;
    --- Is it when you, yourself, label yourself a Cross Dresser.
    Leslie Mary Shy
    A Southern Belle.

    "For a lump of coal to become a diamond, it takes a lot of pressure, heat, and time."
    "The question is, can I, as a lump of poor coal, survive that heat, pressure, and time."

  2. #2
    Silver Member Micki_Finn's Avatar
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    Technically the instant you put on clothes of the opposite gender, you are cross dressing. As for a crossdressER, if you take the definition as “One who wears [present tense] clothes of the opposite gender” then what you are looking at is either someone who is currently dressed, or one who as an ongoing situation wears clothes of the other gender. Everything else is you overthinking it since there isn’t really a clinical diagnosis of “crossdresser”.

  3. #3
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    For me there has to be more than just donning women's attire. A guy who dolls himself up for a Halloween party is not a cross dresser. A guy who wears women's panties is not a cross dresser. In my mind he has a fetish. In my mind there has to be some innate desire or need to emulate a woman. To appear as a woman. Personally, I do not like the term "hobby" being applied to a need to wear women's clothing. When I was going through inner conflict in the 1960's and 1970's I did not ascribe the term "hobby" to my desires. Although I have a preference for certain styles and looks (patterns, floral) those are choices as any natural woman will make to express themselves. I was not trying to "fool" myself by saying I was a male who had a "hobby" of wearing dresses. It is not the same as my stamp and coin collection or my collection of plastic model airplanes and helicopters.

    I would have to add to your list:

    ...Is it when you realize there is a female component to your inner self connected to the need to emulate a woman?

  4. #4
    Seňora Member Robertacd's Avatar
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    I think Mickii is technically correct and that is the best kind of correct.

    By building on what Stephanie said, I think once you start dressing repeatedly for whatever reason, then you are a crossdresser.

    Problem is, like Mickii said there is no clinical diagnosis of a crossdresser, crossdresser is an umbrella term like transgender, that covers lots of people who dress in the clothing of the opposite gender.

  5. #5
    Silver Member Crissy 107's Avatar
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    I think Micki has it correct. I do have a good friend who wears 80% clothes from the women?s side. He also wears heels all the time as it helps his back, one more thing, both his fingers and toes are always painted, usually including nail art yet he insists to me he is not a cross dresser. I tell him he can say that but he is definitely one of us.
    Crissy

  6. #6
    Senior Member NancySue's Avatar
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    With me, it wasn?t the first or second time I wore hose...my #1 experience. It was when I began to feel the ?butterflies?/need to wear hose...pink fog? And followed through. Then, what followed was the same ?need? and desire to wear additional things. And, I did. It was then, even in denial, I continued to have the feelings, desire, and need to dress, is when knew I was a crossdresser. To answer your questions: 1. No 2. Yes 3. Yes 4. Only my wife knows, and 5. Yes. I?m not too sure I would call it a Title.

  7. #7
    Seňora Member Robertacd's Avatar
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    Crissy, isn't it funny how people fear certain lables?

    Well I might like wearing women's clothing, but at least I am not one of those...

    I read an article recently that said some cis-gender people don't like being called cis-gender.

    Because they think that cisgender a slur created by transpeople.
    Last edited by Robertacd; 01-27-2020 at 10:54 PM.

  8. #8
    Silver Member Crissy 107's Avatar
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    Roberta, Yes it is all about avoiding labels. I get an email from him telling me how many positive comments he gets on his heels and nails and then at the end he puts #NACD. I do not get it but to each their own.
    Crissy

  9. #9
    Silver Member Leslie Mary S's Avatar
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    This is more of a mind thing to see when and how people think. I first wore, in exploration, my sister's undies at about the age of seven. it was in about 2008 I finally accepted the title as a "Cross Dresser" even though through the years I did take many opportunities to dress. It was in 2008 that I started to really even hear the title "Cross Dresser". I was living in a world that didn't even use the term.
    Leslie Mary Shy
    A Southern Belle.

    "For a lump of coal to become a diamond, it takes a lot of pressure, heat, and time."
    "The question is, can I, as a lump of poor coal, survive that heat, pressure, and time."

  10. #10
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    Is there a distinction that can be made between noun and verb? "I am a cross dresser" vs "I cross dress."

  11. #11
    Member MeshelleCD's Avatar
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    I learn towards the definition of a person is a crossdresser when they work towards the goal of appearing as the opposite gender by wearing things (clothes, makeup, shoes, etc.) to emulate and/or pass as a member of that gender.

  12. #12
    Member Star01's Avatar
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    As the old saying goes "you can call me anything, just don't call me late for dinner".

    Someone suggested in an earlier reply that those of us wearing panties have a fetish and aren't really CD's. I guess all of us in dadt are going to get our crossdresser cards revoked because we're afraid to tangle with the wife's cast iron skillet. As long as I'm not called late for dinner I don't care. 🤣

  13. #13
    Aspiring Shopaholic BTWimRobin's Avatar
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    For me it was when I came to terms with the simple fact I feel myself when I present enfemme.
    - Robin


    Because life is too short not to.

  14. #14
    Silver Member Sometimes Steffi's Avatar
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    There use to be a clinical definition of a crossdresser, but in addition to dressing as the other gender, crossdressing had to be cause problems in your life. If you were happy crossdressing, you didn't meet the clinical definition of a crossdresser.

    Also, males could be crossdressers, but females couldn't, no matter how masculine they dressed.
    Hi, I'm Steffi and I'm a crossdresser... And I accept and celebrate both sides of me. Or, maybe I'm gender fluid.

    Gender fluid (adj.) - Describes a person whose gender identity is not fixed. A person who is gender fluid may always feel like a mix of the two traditional genders, but may feel [more] like one gender some days, and [more like] another gender other days.

    Ref: https://www.lgbthealtheducation.org/wp-content/uploads/LGBT-Glossary_March2016.pdf

  15. #15
    Senior Member Tracy Irving's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Stephanie47 View Post
    A guy who wears women's panties is not a cross dresser.
    This was discussed when I first joined and I recall most people were okay with a crossdresser wearing women's panties. There are probably more than a few members of crossdressers.com that wear women's panties and consider themselves crossdressers.

    If a man wears only a bra, does he have a bra fetish?
    What if he puts on a dress? Does he have a dress fetish?
    Pantyhose and makeup only? What if he adds a wig and earrings?
    When does he become a crossdresser?


    Quote Originally Posted by Stephanie47 View Post
    For me there has to be more than just donning women's attire. In my mind there has to be some innate desire or need to emulate a woman. To appear as a woman.
    I don't know if there is a requirement for a crossdresser to have gender dysphoria. Can't a crossdresser be perfectly happy with the gender he was assigned at birth? If you think you are a woman and you wear women's clothing, are you still a crossdresser or are you just wearing the clothing of the gender you identify with? So much grey...

    Some may choose to crossdress and that is enough for them. Others have a desire to crossdress and then add the proper accoutrements necessary to appear as a woman. To me, being a crossdresser had absolutely nothing to do with presenting as a woman. Understand that one should consider crossdressing when presenting as a woman but even that isn't a requirement. I have searched high and low for a definition of crossdresser (or the act of crossdressing) that required one to appear as a woman. To date, it just doesn't exist.

  16. #16
    Member Glendy's Avatar
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    As for myself I considered myself a crossdressor when I passed wearing female clothes more than twice. After that I knew that I enjoyed wearing female clothes and looking feminine. I'm not saying it was all at once, but it started with panties and bras, then it went to female pants,shirts and blouses. From there it went to pantyhose, shoes and dresses or skirts and blouses. After that I went to wigs and makeup. At this point I have everything that I need to transform myself to look like a woman. That to me is a wonderful feeling when I'm all dressed up.

  17. #17
    Gold Member alwayshave's Avatar
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    Leslie, It is my determination alone.
    Please call me Jamie, I always_have crossdressed, I always will, "alwayshave".

  18. #18
    Platinum Blonde member Ressie's Avatar
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    There's nothing official about it. There's no official criteria. It's simply a word that anyone can use anyway they want to. But IMO, if there's a repeating pattern of someone wearing any article of clothing of the opposite sex, using the word is appropriate.

    I never had an epiphany that I am now a CD. It's just something I started doing as a child that has gotten out of control!
    "You're the only one to see the changes you take yourself through", Stevie Wonder

  19. #19
    1.#QNaN Lydianne's Avatar
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    If you do not dress the correct way i.e. dress to blend, then you are absolutely not a crossdresser! . You would only be a slashdresser (/).

    In order to earn the other slash (\) and elevate yourself officially to 'cross' (X), you must blend your dressings! .


    Do not pass go, do not collect $200, . . . .

    - L.

  20. #20
    Member Star01's Avatar
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    Do I get points for longevity having first stuck my toe in these Waters in 1964? Does my SO acting as gatekeeper preventing me from dressing when and how I want subtract points? And the biggest question, why am I here if shaving smooth, painting my nails, wearing panties and having a stash of clothes and makeup standing by for my next opportunity to wear then is not considered crossdressing?

    I have been accused of doing things half *ssed at times so if I am only a / I will wear it proudly. I started therapy last week so we will see how the therapist classifies my strange obsession if I may describe it that way. I really don't care what title others place on me, I know who and what I am and how I think of myself. That's all that really matters.

  21. #21
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    Crissy,

    I agree with you, your friend is a CD, she just won't admit it!

    Davina

  22. #22
    Exploring NEPA now Cheryl T's Avatar
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    The first time you slipped on a pair of panties, stockings, a bra, a slip or anything else feminine you became a crossdresser.
    Or in my case a transvestite since that is what the world called us back then.
    Whether or not you continued to dress that way you became one that first time.
    Can you see the REAL Me?

  23. #23
    Silver Member Barbara Jo's Avatar
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    IMO, most become a "cross dresser" when they refuse to admit that they are a transvestite.
    Happiness is not a future condition. It is a Present state of mind.

    "....And it's only the giving that makes you what you are" - Ian Anderson

    "It's all right now, I learned my lesson well..... You see, you can't please everyone, so you got to please yourself." - Ricky Nelson

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  24. #24
    AKA Lexi sometimes_miss's Avatar
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    Maybe someone should write to Queen Elizabeth and ask her to enact the extablishment of a C.D.O.B.E., aka, 'Cross Dresser Of the British Empire. Eddie Izzard would probably get the first.
    Some causes of crossdressing you've probably never even considered: My TG biography at:http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/...=1#post1490560
    There's an addendum at post # 82 on that thread, too. It's about a ten minute read.
    Why don't we understand our desire to dress, behave and feel like a girl? Because from childhood, boys are told that the worst possible thing we can be, is a sissy. This feeling is so ingrained into our psyche, that we will suppress any thoughts that connect us to being or wanting to be feminine, even to the point of creating separate personalities to assign those female feelings into.

  25. #25
    Member MeshelleCD's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Star01 View Post
    I guess all of us in dadt are going to get our crossdresser cards revoked because we're afraid to tangle with the wife's cast iron skillet........
    Wait....now you are telling me that not only do I need to dress like a woman at all times, I know have to carry a "crossdresser card"? Where the heck am I supposed to carry that? Women's pants and skirts dont have pockets big enough.

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