That's interesting, Teresa. I recall buying a nice half slip with a lacy hem--I forget the brand, but it had a label attached with those very words: "It's So Pretty!" And it was!
I have to say that I think some men are needlessly inhibited in expressing themselves--as if "masculinity" sternly required them to make no display of emotion whatsoever! Or at least never to "gush" about anything. I myself never felt awkward telling my own wife that something was "pretty." It just seemed natural to me. I'd guess a lot of men are thinking it, but not saying it.
However, when it comes to suggesting what would team up with something to make a great outfit, that calls for "thinking ahead" in terms of clothing coordinates, and I agree that most men are probably not thinking along those lines!
Speaking of "speech" in general, we learn a new word every day. I had no idea what "Matalan" was. Marks and Sparks, yes, but not Matalan. Luckily we have the Web and Wikipedia to inform us about these things today. Unlike the venerable M&S, I gather Matalan didn't expand in a big way until the mid-90s, and I've only been in the UK once since then, which accounts for my unawareness of their existence. The British chain whose name I found most appealing was "Knickerbox." I'm not clear if they're still in business, but that sure was the cutest name!
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Originally Posted by
Teresa
I could imagine the look on my wife's face if I told her an item of clothing was pretty...
Oh, I have to add something about that. Why are many men so needlessly inhibited about expressing themselves?
Some of it may be an innate male personality trait. Some of it may be "taught" or modeled by their fathers or other men: "This is how to be 'manly': the 'strong, silent' type." But some of it may be about women's reactions as well.
My own wife would never have thought it odd for me to say something was "pretty." However, before she and I were together I was in a relationship with another woman whose reactions were very different.
The most extreme example of this, which still sticks in my mind so many decades later, was when we went together to rent a U-Haul truck. I told the guy at the desk I had some goods I needed to move from such-and-such a place, which in any case was relevant to the size and type of truck I needed. After we left the place, she scolded me purely for being so "chatty" with the guy and telling him "unnecessary" things. The message I got was that in her mind, "men (unlike women) don't 'chatter' needlessly; it's 'unmasculine.'"
Well, screw that! "I yam what I yam," as Popeye would say. If I'm chatty, I'm chatty, so don't call me "Cathy" on that account!
That wasn't all. There were other examples. I recall her talking about an event that made the news some years earlier, way back in 1972, involving Senator Edmund Muskie's campaign for the Presidency. I can do no better than quote verbatim from Wikipedia:
[The Manchester Union Leader] released an article that contained accusatory reference to [Muskie's] wife, Jane, as a drunkard and racially intolerant. On the morning of February 26, Muskie gave a speech to supporters outside of the Manchester Union-Leader offices in Manchester, New Hampshire. His speech was viewed as emotional and defensive; he called the newspaper's editor a "gutless coward." Muskie gave the speech during a snowstorm which created the appearance of him crying. Though Muskie later attempted to claim that what had appeared to the press as tears were actually melted snowflakes, the press reported that Muskie broke down and cried, shattering the candidate's image as calm and reasoned.
I have no idea whether the guy was really crying or not. But her comment was scathingly contemptuous: "What a wimp!" she said.
Yeah, "men don't cry," right! How would she have reacted if she'd seen me crying at my mother's funeral, say? Once again, screw that crap!
Another incident I recall was rather "intimate," so to speak. We were lying naked on our backs on the bed, and I idly crossed my legs in such a fashion as to hide "you-know-what." She was horrified! "Don't do that!" she shrieked. Anything that seemed to detract from "masculinity" in her eyes was cause for horror.
I'm not saying she was a "bad woman"--she had many good qualities--though we did have other incompatibilities as well, especially a lack of "child-mindedness" on her part. But I can only be thankful that I had the lovely wife I did have, and not this particular woman, who I know would never for one moment have accepted my crossdressing! She would have hit the roof and run out the door screaming!
To what extent are women responsible for keeping men straitjacketed in stereotypical "male" roles? I'll leave that question open to the floor!