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Thread: Is hospital a little too willing to show respect . . .

  1. #1
    happy to be her Sarah Charles's Avatar
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    Is hospital a little too willing to show respect . . .

    I'm happy to be on this path and don't intend to change direction, however slow my progress seems to others. I'm looking at every little sign of progress with calm satisfaction but I'm not totally out to the world and haven't started the process of name and gender change. However one of the two health care networks I deal with has already changed my name on all the forms from Dave to Sarah. I have an MRI scheduled to look at an acoustic neuroma in the ear canal next week and when they called to confirm they asked for Sarah. It's amazing they are being so supportive and respectful, but I'm not sure I'm keeping up with them. My transition care is being managed by a doctor outside that network and so far those are the only appointments I keep presenting as Sarah. My plans are for taking the next major transition steps in late summer, early fall of this year once some financial criteria are met.

    Do you think I should just go with the flow, say thanks and let them get used to seeing mostly male presentation in someone listed as MTF, or get them to change the name back to match how I'm presenting until I do a legal name change?
    Sarah
    Being transgender isn't a lifestyle choice. How you deal with it is.
    http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100001872677630

  2. #2
    Super Moderator Jeri Ann's Avatar
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    So, you are happy to be on a path transitioning from Male To Female, and do not intend to change direction, but also uncomfortable with being referred to as Sarah? How do the two healthcare networks know about Sarah? It would seem like when you are referred to as the person you identify as, it would please you.

  3. #3
    Gold Member Lana Mae's Avatar
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    I have a routine cardiology appointment next Friday! They are the only doctors who don't know about Lana Mae! To me, it feels so wonderful when someone calls me Lana Mae. I probably glow! As long as the billing does not get messed up, go with it and enjoy! Hugs Lana Mae
    Life is worth living!
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  4. #4
    happy to be her Sarah Charles's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jeri Ann View Post
    So, you are happy to be on a path transitioning from Male To Female, and do not intend to change direction, but also uncomfortable with being referred to as Sarah? How do the two healthcare networks know about Sarah? It would seem like when you are referred to as the person you identify as, it would please you.
    I went to the allergist and when we updated my med list we changed my gender to T (MTF), I don't remember exactly when I let them know the name Sarah. Now everyone in that system is using that. It does please me and I'm getting used to being addressed as Sarah even when I'm not presenting myself as female, it's just awkward at times.

    I guess I'm continuing to worry more about other's ability to handle it than making sure my needs are being met. It wouldn't be the first time I've given myself a lower priority than family and even strangers. This is why I stick around on this forum, you kids always help me see the unreasonable rationalizations and justifications that allow me to place my needs lower than others.
    Sarah
    Being transgender isn't a lifestyle choice. How you deal with it is.
    http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100001872677630

  5. #5
    MtF Transgender JeanTG's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sarah Charles View Post
    I went to the allergist and when we updated my med list we changed my gender to T (MTF), I don't remember exactly when I let them know the name Sarah. Now everyone in that system is using that. It does please me and I'm getting used to being addressed as Sarah even when I'm not presenting myself as female, it's just awkward at times.

    I guess I'm continuing to worry more about other's ability to handle it than making sure my needs are being met. It wouldn't be the first time I've given myself a lower priority than family and even strangers. This is why I stick around on this forum, you kids always help me see the unreasonable rationalizations and justifications that allow me to place my needs lower than others.
    I read a great quote in a news article about a 72 y.o transgender woman who transitioned late in life, talking about her transition fears: "It's always worse in our head than it turns out to be in real life".

  6. #6
    Aspiring Member Eemz's Avatar
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    Oh I think definitely go with it Sarah. They're calling you by your real name why would you sabotage that? Maybe you're self conscious that you don't look like a Sarah but they seem ok with it.

  7. #7
    happy to be her Sarah Charles's Avatar
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    I thought I should provide an update on this. Earlier this week I was scheduled for an MRI to scan for changes in a benign tumor in my ear canal (it's all stable) and I spent about 6 hours at the hospital. From the check-in desk through contacting my daughter to pick me up I was referred to as Sarah, she and her by everyone involved. I admit it was a little strange to my ear at first coming from complete strangers, but it felt very right by the time I got home. In a related note my daughter finally had a few minutes out of her incredibly busy life to get caught up on my progress. So at least a few comfort zones other than mine were tested and expanded on that day.
    Sarah
    Being transgender isn't a lifestyle choice. How you deal with it is.
    http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100001872677630

  8. #8
    Silver Member Devi SM's Avatar
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    Sarah, I love to read.your update and see your ear is ok and no progress to a growth but growing and progress in yourlife.
    I remember something Dale Carnegie says, in his book "how to make friends and influence people" about the each person's name. He remember those days when we were kids and after for the first time being in front of a typewriter (new generations don't what is it, lol) the first thing we write was our name because is the more beautiful sound on our ears (so you need them good).
    You can try going to any place whith assistant or clerks have a name tag and call them by their name, you will see a smile and an smile cost nothing but worst billions.
    Answering your first post, I know transition is hard. I haven't legally change my gender and name yet because some issues with some "friends" i do business with but 90% of my time living as a woman and just some days of weekends, because I still in electrolysis and not shave on weekends for Monday's session, which reactivate my dysphoria, I go in Male mode but is matter of time.
    Now I feel.more.weird with people call me David and happy with with called Devi. That's part of the transition....I guess
    Devi
    Last edited by Devi SM; 02-06-2020 at 01:36 PM.
    See my daily posts and pics on tumblr, just look for @sexyvane,
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    Facebook, Vanessa Grandy from riverside, california.

  9. #9
    Aspiring Member
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    For all the misgendering we deal with on daily basis, why not to enjoy being supported and be called by your preferred name, regardless of presentation.

  10. #10
    Platinum Member Teresa's Avatar
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    Sarah,
    At some point the decision will have to be made , the transition will have to happen . Some changes I asked for soon after I moved , I was determined to be Teresa and started as I meant to go on starting with my GP's surgery , it really doesn't affect anyone else and I feel a whole lot better when I'm contacted by them. It's lovely to gradually see your post change from MR to Ms , to be called at my blood donation sessions as Terri .

    I feel it's one of those decisions you put off and then wonder why afterwards , try telling yourself you are going to live the rest of your life as Sarah and not Dave , I need to make it happen because no one else will .
    The real me ,no going back.

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