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Thread: Seeking advice on a purge of sorts

  1. #1
    Senior Member Allison Chaynes's Avatar
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    Seeking advice on a purge of sorts

    So we recently moved last summer and finally got rid of our storage unit, meaning all our stuff is here in the house with us. Holy hell, I did not realize how much crap Allison has acquired. So, I am needing to thin it out rather significantly. So, I guess what I am trying to figure out is realistically how many skirts, shirts, blouses, and jeans does a part time CD really need?

    For background purposes, I am basically a bigender MIAD. I wear women's jeans almost daily. Dresses and skirts are more of a "work from home when kids are gone" only opportunity for me. I have a hard time getting rid of stuff, but I don't need 32 skirts... so, how would YOU decide what to keep and what to get rid of if you were in my heels?
    Life is too short to be boring.

  2. #2
    New Member Anna Gracie's Avatar
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    What items do you actually wear? What fits you nowdays? What does reflect your age and style? Give the rest away to someone needing them!

  3. #3
    Silver Member Crissy 107's Avatar
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    Allison, That is the type of thing that you need to go through and look at each piece and think to yourself if you wear it that often, if not put it in the giveaway pile. I know we all tend to buy more things then we actually will ever need but you can do this.
    Crissy

  4. #4
    Senior Member Kay J's Avatar
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    Buying is much more FUN then getting rid of the things we love i have been in your heels before!

  5. #5
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    Allison, My wife and I recently moved into a new home. It's much smaller than our previous home. We have had to purge a ton of stuff that we just don't need/want/use. We also had trouble getting rid of old clothes. We have adopted a process where we hang everything in the closet with the hangers pointing backwards. ie, hooked on the bar from behind instead of from the front. After one year anything that has not been turned around from use, gets pitched. It's hard to do but this at least lets us know what we actually use vs. just think we do. Good luck.

  6. #6
    Aspiring Member GretchenM's Avatar
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    I think Victoria's idea is a great one for most anybody. Never thought of that. As for you Allison, I suggest going through and selecting those things that most closely represent who you are and not just look pretty. I think sometimes we collect a lot more than we need to because we are searching for something inside ourselves and trying different clothes helps us to understand ourselves better. Maybe we have it backwards. Perhaps we should better define who we are as an individual and then select the clothes that express that. But in this regard one size does not fit all. It is something to consider. I think going through your clothes one by one and asking the question "Is this really me?" it will not only help to reduce the collection but maybe it will help you better define yourself. Just some thoughts. Worth a try.

  7. #7
    Senior Member Asew's Avatar
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    First start with anything you have worn since last summer when you moved. That should be a good starting point. Then realistically why haven't you worn the other stuff (doesn't fit your body because of weight change, doesn't fit your body type, you don't like the fabric, you have something similar but better, etc). Granted getting rid of feminine stuff is way harder than me getting rid of male stuff. More emotionally based and fear of not finding something similar again whereas male clothes are all the same and can easily be replaced.

  8. #8
    Aspiring Member Karmen's Avatar
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    Keep the clothes you wore at least once in last 12 months. If you didn't wear something for more than a year, you probably don't need any more. At least that's how I do it.

  9. #9
    Senior Member Allison Chaynes's Avatar
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    Thanks everyone so far. It helps a lot in my thought process. Keep it coming!
    I really like your method, Victoria. I will do that for sure.
    Life is too short to be boring.

  10. #10
    Aspiring Member kayegirl's Avatar
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    I also like Victoria's idea.
    Because of limited storage space, my wife and I both work on the principle of "one new item in, one old item out". But first of all you need to sort out your existing collection. Good luck!

  11. #11
    Gold Member
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    After my wife passes away; there was a big job ahead. A big part of the Basement was filled with old furniture, old clothes etc.
    I got a big Dumpster, Lots of Help, and anything not seen or used in the last 2 years go's. We filled it up on a weekend, and wish I
    had more room.
    I would say, look at what you are storing, if not used in the last year, donate it to charity, like Good Will, or the Salvation Army.
    Maybe you can get a tax rite off.
    Rader

  12. #12
    Gold Member Helen_Highwater's Avatar
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    Allison,

    You can try to be a bit scientific about it by creating a spread sheet. List all blouses/tops along the top row and all skirts down the first column. If a skirt goes with a top put a cross in the intersecting cell. Once you've done all you count the number of crosses for each skirt. Those with fewer crosses get to go. Same to blouses/tops.
    Who dares wears Get in, get out without being noticed

  13. #13
    Aspiring Member
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    I had to do a mini purge also. Wendy's wardrobe was getting out of hand, and my wife was very resistant on buying anymore clothing unless I got rid of some.

    Some of the criteria I used to purge or not :
    - does it fit. If the clothing has become too small or I bought a much larger size, out it went.
    - have it worn it since I bought it. If not, it was gone.
    - does the style suit me anymore.

    I've made a small pile for donation. To curb/reduce the amount of clothes purchased by rarely/never worn, I now make myself follow strict guidelines before I buy it - like does it fit nicely, will I wear it down the road, is it somewhat practical. I used to buy clothes for Wendy for the sake of buying, and those items are now in the donation pile, and that to me is a waste of money when I could've bought clothing that I really liked.

  14. #14
    Senior Member Glenda58's Avatar
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    I'm going to have the same problem soon. I'll to thin out some of my things. Things that are to small or old and maybe things that were for the younger me that I shouldn't wear now. But the shoes I'll keep.
    GLENDA
    I FEEL LIKE A WOMAN

  15. #15
    Miss Judy Judy-Somthing's Avatar
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    Well I'm in the closet from the wife And in about four months I'm loosing my Stash hiding spot.
    I had over 300 dresses and I ended up Purging 215 of them. I kept the ones that fit just right.
    I due have photos wearing everyone which takes very little space, also I almost never wear the same dress twice.
    "This is ME" I am not CRAZY, I'm just a GUY who likes dresses!
    Since allot of men dress up in woman's clothing that makes it a manly thing to do!
    Much more fun than fishing.
    I do construction like house building and I love CD-ing, what's the difference?

  16. #16
    Member Victoria_Winters's Avatar
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    Well I understand the purge. Hell I just purged 100+ items from my drab wardrobe...

    I basically will get rid of stuff that I can?t fit, ragged, and stuff I find I just don?t like anymore. As we age our tastes change. I got rid of a few dress a few months ago that I used to love back when I first got them and now I?m like....ewwww why the hell did I buy that?

    Keep what you like and wear!

    On a side note: Got anything rocky or punky?

  17. #17
    Silver Member Maria 60's Avatar
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    The problem is we want selection, for myself I may not wear something for the longest time and then for some reason I'll remember a certain item and go digging for it. My wife's justification is out of site out of mind.

  18. #18
    Senior Member Allison Chaynes's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Victoria_Winters View Post
    Well I understand the purge. Hell I just purged 100+ items from my drab wardrobe...

    I basically will get rid of stuff that I can?t fit, ragged, and stuff I find I just don?t like anymore. As we age our tastes change. I got rid of a few dress a few months ago that I used to love back when I first got them and now I?m like....ewwww why the hell did I buy that?

    Keep what you like and wear!

    On a side note: Got anything rocky or punky?
    Nothing I really wanna part with, lol. I dress like a plain jane mid 40s housewife most of the time.
    Life is too short to be boring.

  19. #19
    Member Andrea Chenowith's Avatar
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    Also - Skimmed the thread so I apologize if this has been covered; Make sure to take advantage of resale shops in your area. We have a few chains in Kansas City that will buy clothing for resale, and in my three culls (That has a more positive connotation..) I've made nearly $1,000 back.

  20. #20
    Silver Member CynthiaD's Avatar
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    I take things to the thrift store when I don?t think I?ll wear them again. There can be many reasons for this: too frumpy, just doesn?t look that good, I?ve got lots of things I like better, doesn?t fit that well, bored with it, no place to wear something like that, etc.

    If you?ve had something in storage for a while it might be time to move it to the never-again category.

  21. #21
    Lady By Choice Leslie Langford's Avatar
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    From what I have gathered from this forum and from my own life experiences, being afflicted with OCD and having a tendency to acquire/hang onto/hoard stuff often appears to be part and parcel of being a crossdresser. As a group, we love to shop and buy new women's clothing just for the sheer joy of it, not to mention the experimentation part that goes with it as we try out new outfits to develop our own personal styles...things the GG's have done, like, forever, whereas that's a game that we as crossdressers are fairly new to and still find exhilarating. So, of course, that also results in us acquiring vast amounts of female clothing that we have an emotional attachment to, making it doubly difficult for us to let go of some of those things.

    For me, that's the first hurdle to overcome. The second one is that "male me" is fundamentally a cheap b*stard, and the thought of giving away to charity shops literally $000's of virtually brand new women's shoes and clothing that I have accumulated over several decades - and which I have hardly ever worn except during the rush of the initial of purchase - would just eat away at me. Of course, the other option would be to use the services of consignment shops or else offer up this previously-loved clothing in Facebook "Buy and Sell" groups or the like. Trouble is, that can lead to a host of privacy issues, not to mention the likelihood of getting only pennies back on the dollar from the already discounted initial selling prices and after the consignment store owners have taken their cut up front. Hardly seems worth the hassle, somehow...

    I am working on that, however, and hopefully I can eventually overcome that psychological barrier. For now, though, the shopaholic in me is still winning out...
    Last edited by Leslie Langford; 02-07-2020 at 09:16 PM.

  22. #22
    Member Nyla F's Avatar
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    Sounds like you need to Marie Kondo your wardrobe. Keep what brings you joy!

  23. #23
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    Allison,

    I sell a lot of the items I don't want or wear on Poshmark. It has been a way to "purge" without wastefully throwing stuff out. In the course of the past couple of years, I've found a style I prefer, and buy items I like from other Poshers and sell off the things I no longer like.

    LL

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