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Thread: What Does She Call You?

  1. #1
    Reality Check Krisi's Avatar
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    What Does She Call You?

    A post in another section started me thinking about this.

    For those who go out in public with their wife while dressed or even those who dress around their wives at home, how does your wife address you? A female name like Susan, Brenda, Pamela, etc.? A female version of your male name like Henrietta, Veronica, Bobbi, etc.? Or your male name like Bob, San, Homer, etc. ?

    And while we're on the subject, if she has to introduce you to someone, would she introduce you as a sister, cousin or some other family member? A friend or neighbor? A girlfriend, lover or "wife"?

    Krisi

  2. #2
    Daviana Kristine Jessie Mae's Avatar
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    My wife calls be "Jessie Mae". (When I'm en femme) We've never been in a situation where she would be forced to do introdutions!

    Guessing it would be something like, "Hi, this is Jessie Mae" and leave the other person guessing as to the relationship.
    You've gotten me very curious about how my wife would deal with that situation. Hmmmm?
    Please call me Daviana

  3. #3
    Platinum Member Teresa's Avatar
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    Krisi,
    What my wife calls me is unprintable on the open forum but this is an interesting and important question.

    I'm known as Teresa with all my TG friends , to my painting group I'm Terri and I'm registered at the GP sugery , opticians , library , blood donation unit etc. with that version .

    My daughter is the only one it affects in the family at the moment , the first time we went out together I did ask what she preffered to call me , I suggested Terri but when we went through a checkout she called me dad in front of the checkout girl and other customers , yes the SA did give me a long stare . As far as my little granddaughter is concerned being mildly autistic we've stuck with grandpa , so we don't confuse her . My daughter is the only one likely to do any introductions but so far the situation hasn't arisen , I possibly need to sort that question out and what relation I am to her .

    I've found sticking to a femme version of my male name is working out well , it makes acceptance easier , people don't get confused with having to correct themselves , keeping the same initials also simplifies my postal name and address now and when I finally make the formal changeover .
    Last edited by Teresa; 02-06-2020 at 11:38 AM.
    The real me ,no going back.

  4. #4
    Aspiring Member
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    When my wife and i go to support group events and conferences she calls me Giselle.
    If we were to run into someone we know( i try to make sure that never is going to happen) i think my wife
    and i would die on the spot and it would probably lead us on the road to divorce.

  5. #5
    Seňora Member
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    My wife calls me by my female name when I am presenting as female.

    She introduces me to her friends as her wife or partner and uses my female name.

    Why wouldn't she?

  6. #6
    Platinum Member Teresa's Avatar
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    Roberta,
    Does that raise any issues of suggesting she is a lesbian , it was something my wife is very touchy about and it's often a problem mentioned on the forum .

    Giselle,
    That's a problem many live with but I've found the World doesn't end if it does happen , two unhappy people are free to find happiness , sometimes it makes sense .
    Last edited by Teresa; 02-06-2020 at 11:56 AM.
    The real me ,no going back.

  7. #7
    Member April Rose's Avatar
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    The diminutive of my male name is androgynous enough that it could be used either way. My wife always used that. She is aware of my femme name, as I came up with it to use on CD websites, and for transparency's sake, have always invited her to join the same sites. She has done that in the past, but not this one.

    It comes up seldom enough that, if someone in her presence addressed me as April, I wonder if she'd even remember that was me. I use April at TCNE, but my wife has never been there.
    I am a vessel of the goddess. Let me express my calling to a feminine life through nurturing love and relatedness.

  8. #8
    Senior Member Asew's Avatar
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    I don't really identify with my female name and even myself stick with my male name and masculine pronouns. It is still weird to use my female name and female pronouns at my local monthly GNO. We both call each other husband and wife, so much so that if we use the other's person name it is like using the middle name of a child, someone is in trouble! And even our friends will call us by the words husband and wife when in our home.

  9. #9
    Seňora Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by Teresa View Post
    Roberta,
    Does that raise any issues of suggesting she is a lesbian , it was something my wife is very touchy about and it's often a problem mentioned on the forum .
    My wife has said that that coming to terms with what loving me as a woman meant to her own sexuality was one of the hardest things about my transition that she has had to come to terms with.

    She proudly says she is now Pansexual.
    (Not to be confused with bisexual.)
    Last edited by Robertacd; 02-06-2020 at 02:52 PM.

  10. #10
    Accepting GG Dutchess's Avatar
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    My late fiances fem name was Karen Audrey Todd and I called her Kat ( or sometimes Katrina being silly) to people we did not know , but everyone knew us as Pea ( for peacock ) and Hen . We called each other that too . S/he would call me Hen or Bunny in public so we used pet names almost 100% and didn't care what anyone thought .
    His mom always called him Todd no matter what . :/ and that is what was used sadly at her funeral .

    I miss my Pea !!!!! ugh
    Last edited by Dutchess; 02-06-2020 at 03:12 PM.
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  11. #11
    Platinum Member Teresa's Avatar
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    Dutchess,
    Your story touched me when it first appeared in Loved Ones section , I'm afraid all we have is time , I hope it works for you eventually .

    Your comment does make me think what my final label will be , I guess it's best to make the most of what I have now , it's isn't that bad and it could be a whole lot worse !
    The real me ,no going back.

  12. #12
    Silver Member Micki_Finn's Avatar
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    Micki, and “husband” if it comes up. But when I’m dressed I’m usually doing drag so I’m not hiding the fact that I’m a man under all of it.

  13. #13
    Member Deborah2B's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Dutchess View Post
    My late fiances fem name was Karen Audrey Todd and I called her Kat to people we did not know , but everyone knew us as Pea ( for peacock ) and Hen . We called each other that too . S/he would call me Hen or Bunny in public so we used pet names almost 100% and didn't care what anyone thought .
    His mom always called him Todd no matter what . :/ and that is what was used sadly at her funeral .

    I miss my Pea !!!!! ugh
    Dutchess,

    Thank you for remaining as a member here even after your loss. You are obviously an awesome person to support others after the love of your life has left us all.

    Deborah
    Deborah

    My desire is to create an illusion that is a compliment to all women. It is not meant to demean women or their struggles. It is not a threat to their femininity. It is meant to uphold and celebrate their presence and beauty. I try to accomplish that goal each time.

  14. #14
    Accepting GG Dutchess's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Teresa View Post
    Dutchess,
    Your comment does make me think what my final label will be , I guess it's best to make the most of what I have now , it's isn't that bad and it could be a whole lot worse !
    Thank you Teresa , I am in grief counseling now but its still really tough . I still cry alot and I have to go to counseling alot too :/ .
    YES !!!! DO make the most of what you have , you are still here !

    Quote Originally Posted by Deborah2B View Post
    Dutchess,

    Thank you for remaining as a member here even after your loss. You are obviously an awesome person to support others after the love of your life has left us all.

    Deborah
    Oh , I was a member here so long and I met her through an old member here and when she died I realized that most of my friends were SOMEWHERE under the trans & CD umbrella . I had trouble relating AND it can sometimes be hard to grieve . Like when I say certain things on h/er card at the cemetery and it goes to a guy named Todd , the florist would sometimes think I am so insane with grief that I am losing my mind or something . Here I can talk about her and not have to explain over and over . Then there are threads like these that I can say what we did together in our normal life together and that makes me SMILE and helps me learn to live with this . So YOU all help me just as much . I know I get crabby sometimes but I am sad still and I want you all to know as long as you are still breathing , you are still living and to make the VERY best of it and that love is so important .
    Last edited by Dutchess; 02-06-2020 at 03:15 PM.
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  15. #15
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    Although I LOVE hearing my wife use "Candace" when I am in girl mode, she doesn't usually call me by name. I suspect she intentionally does it to please me.

  16. #16
    New Member tmonsivais's Avatar
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    My wife calls me by my female name when I am out and dressed. On Xmas, she even gets Teresa gifts 🎁 However, Teresa also has to give her gifts as well 😂

  17. #17
    Somewhere in-between. Krea's Avatar
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    My wife always uses my given name (Nick) if she is talking about me to others and always describes me as her husband. She would use the male pronoun to descibe me, altho i actually now prefer the (gramatically incorrect) pronoun "they", as i feel it fits my genderblurred presentation.
    "Welcome to my scene.
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  18. #18
    Member MeshelleCD's Avatar
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    When dressed around the house, my wife calls me by my femme name - Meshelle.

  19. #19
    Aspiring Member Michelle Crossfire's Avatar
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    My wife does not really address me by any particular name, other than names and terms used in a marriage (non derogatory). She knows my fem name, but never uses it to the best of my recollection. She has never been in a position to do introductions, nor do I ever expect her to, so that is a non issue. Even though I am dressed "fem" I am still her husband, just don't look like it right then.
    Call me Michelle

  20. #20
    Connie Connie D50's Avatar
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    Great question when out my wife calls me my female name. (she has slipped at lease once and called me my male name) If she has to introduce me we our sisters. At home only very rarely does she call me Connie. She doesn't call me by Mike either, we use husband and nick names at home.

  21. #21
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    Alas, she never calls me at all...not even a text.

    Easy come, easy go;
    Easy left me long ago...

  22. #22
    Girliegirl Jillian Faith's Avatar
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    When out together she always refers to me as Jill. If I am dressed at home sometimes she’ll call me Jill but most times it’s Rob. She has never had to introduce me to anyone, but years ago we came up with the cover story that we would be sister-in-laws in public since we both wear a wedding ring and have the same last name on our credit cards.
    Jill

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  23. #23
    Gold Member alwayshave's Avatar
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    Krisi, Unfortunately my wife calls me "Jim" not "Jamie" when out. She is otherwise so accepting, I just don't want to waste political capital on trying to correct her.
    Please call me Jamie, I always_have crossdressed, I always will, "alwayshave".

  24. #24
    Exploring NEPA now Cheryl T's Avatar
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    When we go out she addresses me as Cheryl in public.
    We've traveled together and shoppe together and everything. In front of others we meet I'm just Cheryl.
    As for friends she might me in public that has never happened and we have an understanding that should that occur and I either see her talking to someone in a friendly fashion or someone approaches her and calls her by name that I will then go into "stranger" mode. If I'm not near her then I will stay a distance and if I'm next to her and someone approaches I'll act as if she was helping me with something and then I'll walk away and go about my business. This way we avoid that uneasy situation and then we rejoin when that person has gone.
    It's not the most ideal and of course we could be caught somewhere like a restaurant where that's not possible to do, but so far so good and we'll cross that path when we get to it.

  25. #25
    Seňora Member
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    My wife is a paralegal and yesterday she met with a new client. While talking with her the client said "I saw you at the mall last Friday shopping with a tall sliver haired lady". My wife said she told her "That was my wife...", and the client was very accepting about it.

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