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Thread: LBGTQ- what?

  1. #1
    New Member SirDonna's Avatar
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    LBGTQ- what?

    Missed first lbgtq meeting. It was last weekend and we had the wrong date. Oh well the invitee received tons of home made appetizers.

    But questions:

    ... what do you call this group? 5 constants and no vowel make it unpronounceable. We ended up calling it the lesbian meeting.

    ... where do we fit in? There's no C, CD, only the old Trans*, but the transvestite label is so bad.

    ... do they ask, which subgroup are you a part of?

    ... what has been your experience when you say you're a cross dresser?

    Basically, a bunch of novice anxiety questions floating around which is it: ... hatred, ..tolerance, ..embracement

  2. #2
    Weirdest woman ever! docrobbysherry's Avatar
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    So many questions! So little time!

    I assume u were the "invitee"? So, how did u end up with all the bickeys?

    U can call yourself "macaroni" if u like!

    If u show up at a LGBT event dressed? U won't have to explain a thing!
    U can't keep doing the same things over and over and expect to enjoy life to the max. When u try new things, even if they r out of your comfort zone, u may experience new excitement and growth that u never expected.

    Challenge yourself and pursue your passions! When your life clock runs out, you'll have few or NO REGRETS!

  3. #3
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    What organization is it?

    BTW: the "T" or "Q" is as close to CD as you are going to get.

    In general CD's are looked upon as either "fetish dresser" or Transgender in denial. I don't know how they would fit into a group that was not somewhat gender focused. I belong to a support group that while we tend to be transgender focused we accept all forms of gender expression including (gasp) Crossdressers.

  4. #4
    Isn't Life Grand? AllieSF's Avatar
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    LGBTQ+ and there are probably more letters to add if anyone wants to. Lesbia, Gay, Bi-Sexual, transgender, Queer, + all the others.

    Roberta, maybe that is the way it is where you live, but I have heard from many others on this site and others, as well as meeting people in person, and crossdressers and not looked at as fetish dressers nor a transgender in denial (Transgender which as an umbrella term used on this site includes all of us under the pretty "T"). There are fetish CD's, as well as those that like drag and so on. However, most of them are just regular people who like to dress in women's clothes. I do believe that you are just over exaggerating what really happens out there in the real world.

    Depending on the support group, they could be very serious to socially supportive accepting all who want to participate. Just contact them, ask to join, and what are the general rules or guidelines they follow. Go dressed or as your normal self until you get comfortable enough to just be you. If it is a decent group you will enjoy yourself and make new friends and leanrt some good things along the way. Good luck and enjoy.

  5. #5
    Silver Member Aunt Kelly's Avatar
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    Get used to it. For a number of reasons, the LGB community often doesn't "get" the T community, often to the point of actually working against us. Seldom is that intentional, but a certain amount of ignorance persists, even among those who genuinely consider themselves to be allies.
    And Roberta's observation about their view of crossdressers is generally correct. Don't get me wrong. We're not talking about open hostility, more like stark indifference.
    "Being honest may not get you a lot of friends, but it will always get you the right ones."
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  6. #6
    Gold Member Helen_Highwater's Avatar
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    This is of course a generalisation but I feel the LG part of the umbrella grouping sees us as part of the straight community. That's not to say that, again generally, they are sympathetic to our community understanding that we are somewhat marginalised within society in the same way they were but now less so.

    If we were political parties we'd form a coalition.

  7. #7
    Platinum Member Teresa's Avatar
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    SirDonna,
    So much depends on the personalities behind the meetings or groups , some want to embrace all , going down the strength in numbers road , others tolerate the other factions .

    Personally I support pride events but my social groups are more for CDers and TG members . To the TG community it's a double edged sword the LGBTQ banner gives us strength to make us more visible to the public but at the same time I'm not gay so do I really need to use a communitythat helps the majority of gay members . It's part of the reason why some people pose the question of being gay . My wife told me she has had to assure friends and work colleagues that I'm not gay , this does beg the question what is so wrong with being gay ? Why does it make her feel better telling people I'm not ?

    As for telling people what I am , if I have to tell them anything I'm TG , I never say I'm a CDer , wearing male clothes feels more like it now . I've arrived at the point where the only label I use is my name , I'm totally accepted as that .

    I can understand you posing these questions, wearing female clothes isn't that straight foward , so many questions arise from that act . One of my counsellors tried to cure me of living off assumptions , we assume all the labels are true in fact they are they are often false fears going round in circles in our heads . Society isn't half as bad as we imagine , people just want to live their own lives and deal with their own problems , if we aren't in their faces we will usually succeed .
    The real me ,no going back.

  8. #8
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    Quote Originally Posted by Robertacd View Post

    In general CD's are looked upon as either "fetish dresser" or Transgender in denial.
    There are people on this site who think every CD is transgender in denial. You dont have to go to outside group to be exposed to that

  9. #9
    New Member SirDonna's Avatar
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    Thanks all. We'll see how health holds up and maybe there will be a follow up.

  10. #10
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    Quote Originally Posted by AllieSF View Post
    Roberta, maybe that is the way it is where you live, but I have heard from many others on this site and others, as well as meeting people in person, and crossdressers and not looked at as fetish dressers nor a transgender in denial (Transgender which as an umbrella term used on this site includes all of us under the pretty "T").
    Honey I stated that CD is part of the TG umbrella thing right here on this board a few months ago and CD's seemingly came out of the woodwork to claim they were no way, no how, even remotely connected to "those people". One person here even backed up that claim with "I am a Crossdresser, I don't have gender issues".

    As for CD being TG in denial I am speaking from personal experience as I was exactly that for the previous 40+ years of my life.
    Last edited by Robertacd; 02-11-2020 at 02:46 PM.

  11. #11
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    Last I knew it was LBGTQQIAAP Lesbian Bi Gay Trans Queer Questining Intersex Asexual Allies Pansexual. The T represents all gender variants from cis. I would say CD is at least gender nonconforming. Which in essence means you don't conform to the gender norm of your assigned at birth gender. I don't know of any LBGTQ groups who wouldn't welcome poeple who are at the very least understanding and supportive even if they don't fit a definition. The real question is there something in it for you and or do you enjoy going. If yes then go and have a good time learn from others and make friends. No body will ask you to prove you are or aren't who you say you are.

  12. #12
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    LGBTQ has "T", which is transgender, which is "supposed" to include crossdressers. In practice, we are not well understood, if at all.

    LGBTQ is an initialism, so each letter is pronounced individually.

  13. #13
    Yeah Ok like whatever Tracii G's Avatar
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    You don't have to be any of the letters just be you.
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  14. #14
    Silver Member JenniferR771's Avatar
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    These initials LGBTQ need some reworking to make it easier to say. Perhaps rearranging the letters. For instance put the B in front. Or better--put the G in front.

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    Platinum Member kimdl93's Avatar
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    I got to know a number of people from the east TX gay community during my tenure there. One thing that attracted me to my job as administrator of a regional HIV and health services organization was what I had hoped was a common thread. I was surprised at how on gay male associate in particular often made demeaning remarks behind the backs of the trans people he knew. Needless to say, I was reluctant to reveal my own status after hearing these remarks.

    Now with the advantage of hindsight, I realize it wasn?t just trans people he demeaned....he routinely disparaged pretty much anyone and everyone. Seems to shed more light on his character than anyone else?s.

    Easy come, easy go;
    Easy left me long ago...

  16. #16
    Platinum Blonde member Ressie's Avatar
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    Lesbian is the only noun in this acronym. All the rest are adjectives which makes this not very well thought out. Also Lesbians are gay so it's redundant to include that word. But, maybe the whole thing was coined by a lesbian group?

    We can also include bisexual under the homosexual umbrella which reduces it down to GT. But T is a gender category rather than a sexual category so why is it included anyway? Furthermore, gay is originally slang for homosexual and the rest aren't slang. Just saying...
    "You're the only one to see the changes you take yourself through", Stevie Wonder

  17. #17
    Yeah Ok like whatever Tracii G's Avatar
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    Not a real fan of the LGBT as an organization.
    The idea is good its just what its turned into in the last 10 years.
    It has become more political in nature and less inclusive.
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  18. #18
    AKA Lexi Read only sometimes_miss's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Teresa View Post
    Society isn't half as bad as we imagine , people just want to live their own lives and deal with their own problems , if we aren't in their faces we will usually succeed .
    Unfortunately, those who don't like us, feel that anything which even barely acknowledges our existence is 'in their face'. When Caitlyn Jenner came out, there was a huge backlash from homophobes all over, whenever she was in the news in any way, they considered it 'in there face'. On several other non CD/gender forums, I've read people exclaiming that even a small, partial one column news item buried in the middle of a newspaper, being in his face, and he was absolutely livid about it being there. He thought that there should be nothing, anywhere, which mentioned us, because to him, acknowledging us would tempt the children to 'try out the lifestyle'. And many pages of this nonsense was supported by the others on those forums as well. This behavior still goes on, whenever some gender topic is brought up, such as the recent battle in Texas about a 7 year old child who the separated mom and dad disagree with whether they should allow the boy to dress and behave like a girl. The haters even started a go fund me account to support the dad's legal costs. So there is, very apparently, a large number of people in our society who still hate us, and are willing to spend money in an effort to eradicate us from their world.

    Quote Originally Posted by JenniferR771 View Post
    These initials LGBTQ need some reworking to make it easier to say. Perhaps rearranging the letters. For instance put the B in front. Or better--put the G in front.
    Those who hate us have already come up with their favorite pronouncable word for us, and they have no qualms using it: FREAKS. To them, it describes anyone who doesn't fit the perfectly straight, heterosexual type, exactly.
    Unless we can come up with something equally simple, it's not going to 'take'.
    Some causes of crossdressing you've probably never even considered: My TG biography at:http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/...=1#post1490560
    There's an addendum at post # 82 on that thread, too. It's about a ten minute read.
    Why don't we understand our desire to dress, behave and feel like a girl? Because from childhood, boys are told that the worst possible thing we can be, is a sissy. This feeling is so ingrained into our psyche, that we will suppress any thoughts that connect us to being or wanting to be feminine, even to the point of creating separate personalities to assign those female feelings into.

  19. #19
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    I am transgender and I think the whole Caitlyn Jenner thing was "in your face".

    I mean seriously, Bruce won some medals in 1972, faded into obscurity, and then 50+ years later she became Caitlyn.

    Why was that national news?
    Last edited by Robertacd; 02-13-2020 at 03:02 PM.

  20. #20
    Silver Member Micki_Finn's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ressie View Post
    Lesbian is the only noun in this acronym. All the rest are adjectives which makes this not very well thought out. Also Lesbians are gay so it's redundant to include that word. But, maybe the whole thing was coined by a lesbian group?

    We can also include bisexual under the homosexual umbrella which reduces it down to GT. But T is a gender category rather than a sexual category so why is it included anyway? Furthermore, gay is originally slang for homosexual and the rest aren't slang. Just saying...
    Grammar police here. Lesbian is actually an adjective, meaning “of or pertaining to the isle of Lesbos”.

  21. #21
    Platinum Member Teresa's Avatar
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    Lexi,
    Very few of us fall into the Kaitlyn Jenner category , I'm not really in anyone's face so I do on the whole succeed , I doubt I'm going to raise hordes of haters and I would doubt very few members here will .
    Last edited by Teresa; 02-14-2020 at 05:55 AM.
    The real me ,no going back.

  22. #22
    The 100th sheep GaleWarning's Avatar
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    Labels are a waste of time.
    Why not call your group something amusing, like "The Perspiring Never Sweats" or "Boys to Women" or the "Tangled Nylons"?

  23. #23
    Platinum Blonde member Ressie's Avatar
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    Thanks for the correction Micki, but...Screen Shot 2020-02-13 at 6.46.00 PM.jpg
    "You're the only one to see the changes you take yourself through", Stevie Wonder

  24. #24
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    It would be easier to say "sexual minorities" than rattle off a complicated long, ever growing acronym. But then some people will complain about the term "sexual", then it will become "sexual and gender minorities". Then some will complain about the term "minority" diminishing them... you can never win the semantics game.

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