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Thread: Update: My life and the success I have had ? Inspirational Tale

  1. #1
    Happy in life KlaireLarnia's Avatar
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    Update: My life and the success I have had ? Inspirational Tale

    Hi. In mid-January I made a post about some success I had in terms of how I dress and present myself publicly and privately. If you have not read it then you should do here:

    https://www.crossdressers.com/forums...raltional-tale

    This is an update on this for those who may be interested.

    For most of the 1st week of February I wore what I have any other day nothing changed, I was planning to wear a dress openly for the first time on the Friday when we always wear casual clothes as I thought that would be a good ?tester day? to see how things go and I felt. Some of us (myself included) where moving seats and office at the start of the week as a couple of teams where being consolidated so it made sense to get that out of the way first.

    So, Friday comes I wore a grey marl casual skater style dress with mid-length sleeves. I also wore a pair of denim style jeggings which can pass as jeans quite easily (bar them having no pockets and an elasticated waist). The skirt of the dress comes down about mid-thigh which is where the jeggings come in as I needed something on my legs and these seemed a good fit for what I was wearing. I also decided to put on a chunky necklace as the neckline was a little lower than I am used to so I felt it needed something there to break the gap up. This garnered no reactions at work. Nothing at all. Everyone was fine, I was treated as normal. People still asked for my help on some things. This could not have gone better.

    Side note: On Saturday the 8th, I was grocery shopping with my wife in our local Asda supermarket (think Walmart for US people as they currently own Asda in the UK). They had a sale on clothes and we both often look as we like their stuff. It?s cheap but does for day to day wear. We don?t look at the male clothes unless she is looking to send her brothers some things (she is not English and often sends parcels home with stuff from the UK). We ended up looking at the women?s underwear as there where a few sets reduced. Some in my size but none in my wife?s which annoyed her but that is how things work out at times. She had no issue with me getting them some though as long as I paid for them which I did. No issues, no concerns and no problems at all. 7 pairs of underwear for ?9.50.

    The following week it was my intention to wear a more formal dress at least once. I couldn?t do it on Tuesday or Thursday due a few things happening directly after work on those days. That left Monday or Wednesday. At work we have a number of part time staff who work only 3 days a week and on Wednesday we have a full house of staff, this to me seemed to be the best day therefore - maximum exposure, if I felt uncomfortable on that day then I needed to rethink this.

    Monday/Tuesday I again wear ?normal? stuff and blouses/shirts as I would any other day. I have attached images of the blouses just to give you an idea of what I wear.

    Wednesday comes, my choice of dress is a dark Blue dress with cream Polkadots (again image attached) and with this I wore a pair of thickish black tights & women?s shoes with 1 1/2inch heels. Now it?s worth stressing that as I left the house I was in black work trousers and jumper which covered the dress to ensure no one where I live saw what I was actually wearing, I am sure I don?t need to explain the reasons for this. I changed out of the trousers once in the car as I park in a secluded spot and drove to work. I had considered another dress which I actually preferred but thought it best to start simple as I can move to other smarter and better dresses from there if everything went well. As the old saying goes don?t run before you can walk.

    Again, like the Friday before no issues at all. No one said anything, no one treated me differently, nothing seemed amiss. Everyone knew this was coming ? I guess it was a question of when. Well today they really got the answer.

    After work I had to go to a storage unit I have to collect something I had sold on Ebay, I walked in there dress on full show as the staff are used to seeing me in various women?s clothes. I did this as another test of how I felt, some exposure but limited. Going here was a bonus as I chose that time to put the trousers back on before I left so I could again be covered up when I got back.
    Thursday and Friday are casual days this week. Thursday I wore a black top with a floral design along with a pair of dark blue jeans & a purple leather style bike jacket. Friday saw me wear a striped tunic dress with short sleeves and a deep v-neck with a bohemian style long necklace over the top. I wore the same jeans and jacket with this giving a very different look to the day before. The Jacket I can see becoming a massive favourite of mine btw.

    On Friday I was standing at a printer as I needed to scan something when one of our two bosses walked through, he came up to me and spoke a little. Mentioning he thought what I did was very courageous and admiral. He also asked how it had gone, to which I mentioned I had expected more reaction than I got, when asked if I meant I expected to be ribbed (for people to make a joke of it), I said I wasn?t sure but I expected something but noticed I got?. Nothing. No reactions, it was like nothing had changed and I wasn?t doing anything new or out of the ordinary which to be honest was the best reaction I could get. A few other words were shared, all positive and it is clear that in his eyes as long as I am happy, and this doesn?t interfere with my/our work then he has no issue. This was a very positive and much appreciated message to get.

    So how did it feel on Wednesday & Friday? Well the simple answer is: normal.
    It didn?t feel like I was wearing anything I shouldn?t be or anything different which made me stand out. I was comfortable ? well mostly as I will explain in a moment ? and felt everything looked right. There was no mistaking that I was a man in a dress but most importantly I was a man who was COMFORTABLE in a dress. My work didn?t change, I probably felt a little calmer inside as a result. In essence I was as I would have been any other day. At lunchtime I was able to take a short 5-10 min walk outside where I work (which is in fairness in a quite area). I had to put a coat on due to the cold but the skirt of the dress was clearly on show, as where my legs. If you looked there could be no mistaking what I was wearing under under the coat. Again nothing felt particularly amiss

    My only real issue for the Wednesday was that I chose to wear tights with the dress. Now I?ve never worn them for more than 5-10 mins, and here I was in them for 11 hours (if you include working 9-5, travelling about 30-45mins each way & time getting changed in the morning). I bought large tights but they chaffed a little and where slightly restrictive which did need a couple of toilet breaks to allow for repositioning of my male parts to make things more comfortable. This is something I will need to work on in future.

    Next week I am intending on wearing at least 2 dresses probably Monday and Wednesday. Starting with a blue/black panel dress and then a red/black dress I have had for some time. It is really this red/black dress that drove me where I am as I bought it on a whim as I loved the look of it and have been searching for a way to wear it. I now have that way.

    So how do I think things went over all? Almost perfectly in terms of how I felt and the lack of reaction I got at work. I think because I approached this in the right way in considering both the views of my work and colleagues, then moving forward with the latter behind me I made this work. Had I simply turned up in a dress this could have & likely would have backfired. I feel a lot more comfortable in myself because of this and it offers me avenues I had not had before. It will be interesting to see how this progresses as it starts to warm up when we move towards spring and summer in couple of months where I will have to leave the dress totally uncovered as I take my normal 30-40 min walks at lunchtime. Oddly I am actually looking forward to that experience as this will give me a true sense of how comfortable I feel and am.

    One downside I do foresee and it?s one there is no way to get around is that by being able to wear dresses at work, there will be an internal pressure to wear them elsewhere. This I won?t be able to do at present unless I am alone at home. I cannot wear a dress at home if anyone else is around (other than a nightdress for sleeping in) at present, nor could I walk out my home or visit the local shops etc in one. Whilst I could technically do the latter, this would garner me looks I am not currently ready for. At home this will be something I may need to broach a little more later on, not now. Maybe one day, but not yet

    I now have over 10 dresses I can wear at work, some will need me to buy some extra things such as thicker tights or some lighter coloured shoes, others may need to wait until I can go bear legged so I am not wearing black all over from head to toe. So there you have it. I would love some reactions/thoughts from anyone regarding this and for those who read the first post and this, thank you. I hope it offers some of you some hope that you can be yourself and it is possible for a man to wear a dress and make it work without changing who you are inside. Be true to yourself and let the world deal with it.

    K.
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  2. #2
    Life is more fun in heels Genifer Teal's Avatar
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    I can relate to your surprise that nothing happened. I mean no comments whatsoever zero reaction. I feel that's what I would get someday at work. I joke about it because my usual coming out story which I've done with a few friends at work goes like this: by the way this is me most other times and I show them them a picture on my phone. Their response typically is: I've known since (insert how long). It's kind of like everyone knows but no one talks about it. I think in everyone's mind it's just a matter of when I will wear a dress to work as opposed to if. It's great that everything goes smoothly but the silence is kind of weird. No other way to put it. Glad it's working so well for you.

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    That is a wonderful story and I'm very happy for you. It's interesting to me that the safe space for you is your workplace, rather than your home or your local shops, etc. For many, if not most of us, it's the opposite. While I am out as gender-fluid in pretty much all the settings in my life, I have chosen not to wear dresses or skirts to work, at least so far. I do wear women's tops, leggings, flats, etc., with light makeup and nail polish, and of course my hair is in a very girly blonde bob. So it's pretty obvious that I'm crossdressed. I work for a very large global corporation with a small local office, and frankly no one in the office cares. If I called HR tomorrow and said "I'm transitioning," their response would be "What do you need and how can we help?" I'm very fortunate, and people like you are helping to blaze these trails. Thank you!

  4. #4
    Platinum Member Teresa's Avatar
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    Klair,
    Many thanks for updating us , it's a great story , I guess it's going to take a little more time to work the situation out at home .

    The one detail I missed is were you also wearing makeup and a wig to work ?

    I admit I had a slight mental block with my painting group , which I posted a thread about . Since last September I rejoined the group as Teresa , I opted to wear jeans or trousers , as most of the other GGs wear the same but then I questioned why was I not wearing a skirt on occasions , I have been accepted as Terri , some only know me as such . s I decided the best option was opaque tights with a denim skirt , maybe a little on the short side back OK with the tights . I did get a few initial glances but some didn't notice at all . So many fears are in our own heads the reality is so different .
    Last edited by Teresa; 02-16-2020 at 07:59 AM.
    The real me ,no going back.

  5. #5
    Gold Member Helen_Highwater's Avatar
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    Klair,

    Yours is I think the third or possibly forth post this week of folks going out dressed and getting zero negative reactions. What's come over folks. This going out dressed is turning into a stampede!

    Joking aside It's great to hear things went so well for you. I'm sure you'll go from strength to strength.

    As for the tights situation. One thing I would suggest is gently stretching the tights, especially if they're new out the packet, before putting them on. Also, make sure you work them up fully from the toes. Don't tug too hard you might tear them but in the past I've made the mistake of not stretching the lower section sufficiently and then you're struggling to get them to fit at the top. If the gusset isn't fully up to your groin then that'll cause you problems over the day. Alternatives, try holdups. Also if you're over 5'10" you're likely to need Xl in tights.
    Who dares wears Get in, get out without being noticed

  6. #6
    Happy in life KlaireLarnia's Avatar
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    Hi. Thanks for the comments, I appreciate them.

    I want to add some context/responses to some of them.

    TracyT: I never saw work as a "safe space" but now you say that I see it kinda is. I know I can be me with fear which is good. I don't fear going out fessed in female clothes at all as unsaid in the original post. But I understand there are still limits there I need to be conscious of which now don't apply at work. I do hope one day I can wear a skirt/dress at home but I think that may only come when my daughter moves out. For now this is a wait and see thing.

    Teresa: No I don't wear a wig and nor will I. This isn't me or how I want to be seen. Make up is very limited, basically pale lipstick as I stuff chapped lips in winter and that's it. I wear earrings (both ears are pierced) as well as a bracelet most days. My smart watch has a dark pink strap on it. I will wear necklaces but not always depends on the outfit and my mood.

    I have stressed to work that I am not looking to or have any desire to transition. I am staying physically male and want to be addressed by only my male name. "Klaire" is not a persona or my female counterpart. She is just part of me who makes the make whole. I just prefer her style and this calms me and let's me express myself more than I could otherwise do.

    When I said I look like a man in a dress that is exactly how I want to be seen. A man wearing what he is comfortable in. I can't speak for other countries but the UK does seem more tolerant of crossdressing now. It's either that or people simply presume anyone who dresses in women's clothing is transgender (not always true) and are scared to say anything for fear of being seen as transphobic and getting the police coming at them for "hate crime" (which is a really pathetic state to live in). But for now it does help me and others so you have to see the benefits I guess even if you think the overall approach is way to heavy handed and akin to a nanny state.

  7. #7
    Platinum Member Teresa's Avatar
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    Klaire,
    I guess it's down to your level of dysphoria if you have it , in my case I prefer to lose the guy completely to feel at ease and comfortable with myself .

    Interesting point about acceptance in the UK , I was very apprehensive about using the builder's merchant knowing how male biased they used to be , I had this conversation with Helen who's a SA in my local one . I told her her I was expecting a hard time but experienced nothing , so I asked what training they had received , she told me that most of the training was online and the policies made clear to all empoyees . I thanked her for her time , with that she gave me a big hug and asked me why I thought I would have a problem .
    The real me ,no going back.

  8. #8
    Happy in life KlaireLarnia's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Teresa View Post
    Klaire,
    I guess it's down to your level of dysphoria if you have it , in my case I prefer to lose the guy completely to feel at ease and comfortable with myself .
    dysphoria - a state of unease or generalized dissatisfaction with life.

    That definitely isn't me. Not in terms of how I see myself or feel.about myself on a gender basis. In that regard I am totally comfortable, I simply look to express my character, my nature in a somewhat unorthodox way in terms of how I dress.

    Whilst they won't see me ins dress (as of yet) my niece and nephew for example should always address me as uncle regardless of what I wear or how I look. At 8 and 13 they do know what I wear is all female clothes and see the same things as anyone in public would see. But as long as they see the person I am inside then I am happy.

  9. #9
    Silver Member Aunt Kelly's Avatar
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    "...normal..."

    What more could you ask for?
    "Being honest may not get you a lot of friends, but it will always get you the right ones."
    -- John Lennon

    https://groups.io/g/gno-houston

  10. #10
    Happy in life KlaireLarnia's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Aunt Kelly View Post
    "...normal..."

    What more could you ask for?
    Exactly. That is as good as it gets.

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    Very nice story. Thanks for sharing. I'm not as fortunate as you. My work is somewhat dirty and would ruin a nice outfit in no time flat, otherwise, I would wear dresses or skirts to work most days.

    I think the other great thing is how many people you have the opportunity to educate. And not necessarily by your saying anything. Just by showing them you're a very normal, down to earth person with non standard taste in clothing. That helps us all. Thank you.

  12. #12
    Happy in life KlaireLarnia's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by suzanne View Post
    I think the other great thing is how many people you have the opportunity to educate. And not necessarily by your saying anything. Just by showing them you're a very normal, down to earth person with non standard taste in clothing. That helps us all. Thank you.
    I think it's important to show others that crossdressing isn't anything it be ashamed of. Women do it and for them it's seen as normal and this is what I want for me and men in general. To show a man can wear a dress etc and be comfortable/look good.

    For the general public it's about showing its fine and the person wearing the clothes is as "normal" as anyone else.

    For those who do crossdress it's about showing you don't need to try and be a female to do it.

    JUST BE YOURSELF
    The world will let you and when you do you have the freedom to fly

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