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Thread: Attracted to your fem self

  1. #26
    Silver Member Micki_Finn's Avatar
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    If you’re a straight (or bi or pan) crossdresser, you’re going to naturally want to fix yourself up according to your own beauty ideal, and the closer you are to that ideal, it’s not unnatural to look in the mirror and find that person attractive. Also, if you’re fairly new, you could be mixing in a lot of hormones that you don’t experience every day (adrenaline, dopamine, etc) and your brain and body will react.

    Some girls never lose that, and some get over it fairly quickly. It’s not necessarily either a bad or good thing (bless you pop your tuck every time you look in a mirror, that could be problematic).

    There’s also something to think about. Are you actually attracted to yourself, or is the act of crossdressing itself arousing? Or perhaps it’s being a girl that turns you on?

    In my case, I never experienced being attracted to myself, but I was blown away at being attractive. As a boy I am far from what most would consider the heteronormative masculine standard for attractiveness. So the first time I got properly done up with some help of an expert, I fully broke down and cried. So yeah, looking in the mirror and seeing an attractive person, and actually FEELING it can be a very powerful experience.

    So no, I’ve never been attracted to myself, but there are a lot of reasons you may be feeling that and there is nothing wrong with it. You might get over it, and you might not. As long as its not causing you distress, it’s all good.

  2. #27
    Weirdest woman ever! docrobbysherry's Avatar
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    As some one who's actually met u, I can say with authority u r both fem AND gorgeous, Micki!

    However, as someone who always tucks and is often turned on by Sherry? If u think, "tuck and roll"?
    U won't ever "pop your tuck" when u get aroused!
    U can't keep doing the same things over and over and expect to enjoy life to the max. When u try new things, even if they r out of your comfort zone, u may experience new excitement and growth that u never expected.

    Challenge yourself and pursue your passions! When your life clock runs out, you'll have few or NO REGRETS!

  3. #28
    3dxchat User JuliaGirl's Avatar
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    I'm going to quote Micki ...

    Quote Originally Posted by Micki_Finn View Post
    In my case, I never experienced being attracted to myself, but I was blown away at being attractive. As a boy I am far from what most would consider the heteronormative masculine standard for attractiveness. So the first time I got properly done up with some help of an expert, I fully broke down and cried. So yeah, looking in the mirror and seeing an attractive person, and actually FEELING it can be a very powerful experience.
    I might have a very slight attraction to myself when professionally done ... but pretty much the essence of what Micki has said resonates. When I had my first pro makeup seesion done, rathert than my crude attempts at just eye makeup? I was in tears. I felt so good, even there without wig or clothes on. Just wow.
    Closeted for 45 years, so please take any advice I might offer with a massive dose of reality.
    Julia xo

  4. #29
    New Member Brianne_M's Avatar
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    I wanted to add a little more... When you see yourself as you dream to be, in my opinion you are seeing your own inner beauty. We as humans are attracted to features that give you "that feeling". Its nature. Now, when you dress and put on makeup, and become someone else, why would it be weird to subconsciously try to be that person you desire? I am willing to bet every lady here has a part of their desire in their own look. There is nothing wrong with that. We are all a projection of who we want to be. I would say embrace it ladies. You all are all beautiful!

  5. #30
    Senior Member Asew's Avatar
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    I am not attracted to the face and body in the mirror or selfies, but I am attracted to the clothes and hair.

  6. #31
    Reality Check Krisi's Avatar
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    Funny, I was just think about something very similar:

    Would you date yourself? If you (as a male) saw you as a female walking down the street, would you ask her (you) for a date?

    Or in other words, when you are dressed as a woman do you think you are attractive enough to go out with or even have a relationship with?

    My answer is, "Yes".
    Krisi

  7. #32
    California Dreamin Michaelasfun's Avatar
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    Not sure about attraction to myself, but I do get to the point every time after my makeup and wig is on that I am happier with my appearance than when I am in male mode. Kind of a “crossdresser’s high” lol
    Michaela


    If you choose not to decide, you still have made a choice. - Rush

  8. #33
    Member AllyCDTV's Avatar
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    I select my clothes, makeup and wigs based on what I find attractive in women so it doesn't surprise me to find that I am attracted to what I see in the mirror. I feel that I am fortunate enough to look passable in a wig and makeup so when I see myself in a mirror, a picture or a video, the male part of my brain kinda tricks itself into seeing what I consider to be the image of a good looking woman, as long as I don't think about it too much. To me it's all part of the fun of playing dress up.

    BTW, from those pics you posted, I can easily see why you are are very attracted to yourself. Redheads have always been on top of my list but unfortunately, it's a look I've never been able to pull off.
    Last edited by AllyCDTV; 02-19-2020 at 01:32 AM.
    "We are shaped by our thoughts; we become what we think." - The Buddha

  9. #34
    Sarah Adams Vintage4sarah's Avatar
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    Many of us go to great lengths to be as close to a female image as possible. When we see that product in a photo or a mirror, it can trigger an emotional thought that we find the image attractive or desirable. I think that the female image we create, can border on who we really want to be and somewhat of a copy of what we see in a real woman of our own age.
    Sarah Adams, mature girl from NH. My photos are on Flickr under vintage4sarah !

  10. #35
    Senior Member BrendaPDX's Avatar
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    Hi Chloe, Simple answer is "Yes". I don't know what it is but yes, when I look into the mirror after getting all dolled up, I feel attracted to that reflection. I can't explain it, maybe it's because I like women who take the time and effort to look that little bit extra. You are not alone. Some will say too weird. But that is why I like this forum, honest feedback. Thanks for asking. Brenda

  11. #36
    dress to feel the energy Shely's Avatar
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    Chole, This is exactly what I feel when I put on the lipstick in the mirror and it's the same for most of us here, I think. I get the feeling I am looking at another women, in fact sometimes I feel I am the "Other Woman" in this marriage. It seems a little strange, and at the same time natural, maybe. Hugss
    https://www.flickr.com/photos/lovethatdress/

  12. #37
    Member Jessie Mae's Avatar
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    I'm in the same boat as Shely.
    The woman in the mirror is an attractive looking woman to me. (More so if I take off my glasses!).
    I especially like her legs
    And I too feel a bit like "the Other Woman" my wife is competing with.
    Two penguins are standing on an ice floe.
    The first penguin says, "You look like you're wearing a tuxedo."
    And the second penguin says, "What makes you think I'm not?"

  13. #38
    Member Bea_'s Avatar
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    My thought is that the combination of testosterone and the universal feminine traits and signals that attract men line up to cause a type of attraction. I don't and never did consider myself to be a crossdresser back then, but in my teens I'd put on my mom's or sister's bra that they left drying in the bathroom. Testosterone loaded the gun and the bra was the femininity that I aimed it at. Now, in my sixties, I don't feel the same at all.

    I like the clothes, but not because they make me feel feminine. I do wish I could still wear the same size bra that I wore back in my teens and twenties. I like my natural man boobs, I don't want forms, but there's virtually nothing cute in a 40a as far as i've seen. I pretty much settle for bralettes.
    Last edited by Bea_; 02-19-2020 at 01:31 PM.
    “To be loved but not known is comforting but superficial. To be known and not loved is our greatest fear. But to be fully known and truly loved is, well, a lot like being loved by God. It is what we need more than anything. It liberates us from pretense, humbles us out of our self-righteousness, and fortifies us for any difficulty life can throw at us.” - Timothy Keller, The Meaning of Marriage

  14. #39
    New Member Aelyn's Avatar
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    I would definitely say my femme self is attractive to me! I don?t think I would be interested in CD unless I was attracted to that side of me. When I see myself in the mirror or in photos I love the way I look and it is attractive to me in a way that?s nonsexual, like looking at a model you find beautiful!

  15. #40
    Member Christie Camelle's Avatar
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    I believe what you're experiencing is actually autogynophilia. It is defined as "the paraphilic tendency of someone who is anatomically male to be sexually aroused by the thought of being a female".

  16. #41
    Reality Check Krisi's Avatar
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    It seems like lately, they have invented a name for just about anything. I guess we have a new "label" to deal with now.
    Krisi

  17. #42
    Platinum Member Angie G's Avatar
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    I can seewhy you would be attracted to yourself you make a good looking woman.
    Angie

  18. #43
    Member MeshelleCD's Avatar
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    I can see why you would be attracted to yourself, you are very beautiful! What "red blooded male" wouldnt want to date a sexy redhead?

  19. #44
    Fashionista VeronicaMoonlit's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Micki_Finn View Post
    Or perhaps it?s being a girl that turns you on?
    So the first time I got properly done up with some help of an expert, I fully broke down and cried. So yeah, looking in the mirror and seeing an attractive person, and actually FEELING it can be a very powerful experience.
    VERY powerful Experience.

    Quote Originally Posted by Christie Camelle View Post
    autogynophilia.
    Quote Originally Posted by Krisi View Post
    It seems like lately, they have invented a name for just about anything. I guess we have a new "label" to deal with now.
    It's not a "new" label, the concept was first formulated in the 80's and given the name in 1993.
    This is why I often say that some older crossdressers aren't very well informed, they haven't done ANY reading about "This Thing of Ours of Varying Kinds" I know you like to grind your "axe" about labels, but labels are just tools, humans use labels for many things all the time.
    If you believe in it, makeup has a magic all it's own -- Sooner or Later (TV movie)
    We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be?- Marianne Williamson
    Have I also not said that "This Thing of Ours" makes some of us a bit "Barefoot in the Head"? Well, it does.

  20. #45
    Platinum Blonde member Ressie's Avatar
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    It's not new to me. I've been attracted to myself cross dressed for decades. And looking back at photos I've taken of myself for the last 10 years, I've been improving my fem look quite a bit. Getting better makeup skills, better clothes and wigs, = more attraction to little old me Some of my old photos are absolutely terrible especially those with cheap halloween wigs! yeck!

    The down side is I'm getting more wrinkles of course! I'm a bit of a narcissist but I find more beauty in others than in myself. Your photos look great Chloe
    "You're the only one to see the changes you take yourself through", Stevie Wonder

  21. #46
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    I think there is maybe a difference between being attracted to your look and being attracted to yourself. I wear clothes etc that I find attractive on other women and suit me. I don?t think I?m actually attracted to myself just the style/ look I have achieved.

  22. #47
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    Bluntly put, you're passable as a woman. Need I say anymore than that?

    Sue

  23. #48
    Member Victoria_Winters's Avatar
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    I find I am not attracted to my self when dressed but I find my look to be attractive. I dress in fashion that I do find attractive and same with hair styles. I am not turned on my myself though.

    I think it?s common for many people to be though for the reasons mentioned before. Some people get a euphoric feeling when they are dressed.

  24. #49
    Junior Member Jacqueline Vivaldi's Avatar
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    I have always been attracted to my female self and I have always loved the euphoric feeling that I still get when I see my curvy body and gorgeous legs. Over the years I have taken about 60 hours of video, and today I look at some part of these videos every day. I look sexy and luscious and am attracted to that person. I refuse to go into intellectual speculation about who I am. I enjoy being female too much to analyze anything, and for that reason I am an exceedingly happy woman. I recommend that you goes with your flow. Feel joy and satisfaction with yourself and let your body do what you feel is natural.

  25. #50
    Member Territx's Avatar
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    I am not sure that I will say it the same way as others or that it will come out the right way, but I do look at myself and feel that there is an attractive female looking at me -- it is just that sometimes my mind does not accept or acknowledge that the image of the attractive woman is "me".
    I am what I am and also what I am not!

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