I agree that people can change their mind. It just is not right for everything else to stay the same, they change and get pissy about it. The wife should just accept that her opinion has changed and let it be known and talk it over to decide how to deal with it. If it is a DADT relationship, she needs to accept some limits. With the separate bedrooms it seems simple to me. If the OP wants to dress "her" bedroom, or the lower level of the home should be a safe area and off limits to the wife.
My god! She knows!! She knows the OP dresses, why go barging into "her" room? Seems like someone bent on destruction to me. Something needs to change in this relationship. I wonder if there isn't other issues as well.
