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Thread: Got caughtby my wife

  1. #51
    Aspiring Member Pumped's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2013
    I agree that people can change their mind. It just is not right for everything else to stay the same, they change and get pissy about it. The wife should just accept that her opinion has changed and let it be known and talk it over to decide how to deal with it. If it is a DADT relationship, she needs to accept some limits. With the separate bedrooms it seems simple to me. If the OP wants to dress "her" bedroom, or the lower level of the home should be a safe area and off limits to the wife.

    My god! She knows!! She knows the OP dresses, why go barging into "her" room? Seems like someone bent on destruction to me. Something needs to change in this relationship. I wonder if there isn't other issues as well.

  2. #52
    Junior Member
    Join Date
    Sep 2019
    Maybe she was never accepting but went along hoping it was a phase. At some point she didn't want to go along with it.

  3. #53
    Member Star01's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2018
    I should point out that my wife did not know all along and I didn't understand it for many years either. I considered it a weird thing I did for a while as a kid and suppressed it thinking it was over. That was in the early 60's and it went dormant until the early 2000's when it hit me hard. That was when she became concerned by my shaving, growing my hair and getting my ears pierced and she said she didn't want to see me dressed or know about it.

    Living circumstances changed with a daughter, her fiance and two kids moving in and out for about ten years. I purged and gained a bunch of weight and thought I was done with what I considered my annoying little kink. I had not done any research not had I found sites like this so I didn't realize what I was dealing with.

    I started up slowly again around 2012 and eventually started doing research because I realized there was something going on with me that was much bigger than I imagined. I'm going to therapy to figure out exactly what's going on with me and how to deal with it.

    I would guess that there are others who went for years suppressing their dressing as a one off kink and not understanding themselves. That is why I am not crossing my arms, stomping my feet and demanding my rights to dress as I please. How can I insist on dressing and give my wife an ultimatum when I went so long not realizing what I am?

    I don't want to hijack this thread but just wanted to point out what a slow process realizing and accepting this is has been. I would suspect this is due to what it was like when I was younger and my own denial.

  4. #54
    Member MeshelleCD's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2020
    Diamond Bar which is in Southern California
    Glenda...sorry to hear about the situation. It must be very difficult to live in an environment where your wife is not accepting. My heart goes out to those of you who have to hide your true selves.

  5. #55
    Senior Member Glenda58's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2006
    Down River Detroit
    Just want to thank you all for the support. I just didn't want to go though this again that's why I told her before we got married.

    Things are a little better now.

    Again thanks for the support

  6. #56
    Join Date
    May 2014
    Pacific Northwest
    Quote Originally Posted by Stephanie47 View Post
    ...Frankly, I could not imagine being married to a woman who would badger a husband with constant hostility.
    Some of us need not imagine. Leaving is not an option.

    As for counseling, be careful. I am too patient. Our first counselor was into insurance fraud, using his patients as his patsies. I wised up quickly enough to avoid trouble. The second one was preparing to leave her husband. She counseled my wife to leave me and join her. My wife chose instead to get a new counselor. The third one (I told you I am too patient) taught my wife how to bully me. He later was arrested for sexually abusing female patients and was soon assassinated in jail. There is no fourth counselor for obvious reasons. I can?t make this stuff up. As for counseling, be careful.

  7. #57
    Platinum Member Teresa's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2013
    I missed that comment but often we don't realise it's a gradual process , we don't just walk out the door because it doesn't happen overnight . It didn't occur to me until my separation how much my life had been controlled .
    The real me ,no going back.

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